Disclaimer: Rawrz. I do not own Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X-2, Squaresoft, We Love Katamari, or South Park. Thank you and have a nice and shiny day.

Author's Note: Eh e.e... Author's Note... Uh... hi :-D I don't have anything to say :DDD Except thank you for the reviews, and yeah, I'll acknowledge everyone someday, someday, someday... And those ideas will be used... -.x

Way #13 - Catcher Chocobos and a Really Big Katamari
"Hi there! Want to ride a chocobo?"

Tidus trembled at the sound of her voice. Yuna fainted. Paine didn't catch her.

Rikku started singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

Yes, it was time for Catcher Chocobo: the ultimate mini-game, created by sadistic, cranky old men bent on the destruction of video game perfectionists.

"Honey?" Tidus bent down, gently shaking Yuna. "You ready to race?"

"Eh..?" Yuna opened her eyes. "But aren't you going to..?"

Tidus scoffed. "I'm not even a playable character this time around. How am I supposed to race?"

"Uh, buttercup.." the ex-summoner hiccuped, "I think you've gotten the FFX/X-2 timelines a little mixed up here. I mean, this mini-game isn't even supposed to exist anymore..."

"Yeah!" Rikku chipped in. "And plus, in FFX, Paine hasn't even been born yet! And she's right here!"

"..Right, Rikku. Right." Paine sighed.

Collecting up every spare ounce of bravery that he had, Tidus approached the trainer. "Let Yuna train one."

"Eh?"

"Alright. You," the trainer pointed at Yuna, "Come with me."

Yuna nodded and began to follow as the lady walked off, leading her Chocobo by the reins.

"Oh!" She gasped. "Wait, hold on a second!"

Yuna turned to her three companions and fished around in her item inventory for a bit before pulling out three Pokéballs.

"Rikku, return! Tidus, Paine, return!"

After the three were safely tucked away, Yuna continued to follow the lady in the huge yellow overcoat.

Two seconds and one catchy Chocobo theme song later, Yuna and the Chocobo trainer were out in the middle of the Calm Lands preparing for the battle of their lives.

"You ready?" The lady questioned.

"As ready as ever."

"Your cheerleaders ready?"

"Uh, hold on," Yuna paused. "Rikku, Tidus, Paine! I choose you! ..Er, guys!"

Insert bright flash of light here.

"Okay, ready!"

"CATCHER CHOCOBO! COMMENCING—"

"ON YOUR MARKS—"

"GET SET—"

"—GO!"

One Hour Later
"Don't give up! Someday you'll hold the record."

"One more time!"

Two Hours Later
"Can't we just customize his God damn weapon!" Paine complained, braiding Rikku's hair for the third time while Tidus continued to cheer on Yuna.

"Of course not. Ultimate Weapons cut through the enemy's defense," Tidus rolled his eyes.

"Who fucking cares?"

"Nothing relieves stress like convincing a cult to commit mass suicide," Rikku chirped happily.

"...What?"

"Well, playing Candy Land works too."

"Don't give up! Someday you'll hold the record."

"One more time!"

All three Spirans sighed.

Three Hours Later
"Gah!" Yuna shrieked, jumping off of her Chocobo and pulling out a tuft of brown hair. "This is ridiculous!"

She stomped over to the others and promptly sat down in the grass, where Rikku was now unsuccessfully trying to braid Paine's hair.

Tidus stared at Yuna.

Yuna stared back.

Five minutes into their staring contest and extremely annoyed, Yuna turned to face Rikku. "You know what? I don't think it's me, I think it's Tidus. He's an asshole."

"A-ano?"

"Why am I trying to get your dumb weapon anyway?"

"Two years ago, you were nice, caring, "Honey, I baked some blueberry muffins!" wife material. I was perfectly content to do the Chocobo racing. But now that you've gone all Tomb Raider on me, you better damn well be willing to hold up your part of the fights, bitch."

Four Hours Later
"You know," Rikku commented as she worked on braiding Tidus's hair (while Paine held him down), "I think the only thing keeping her going is the fact that the trainer sucks as much as she does."

"Think she's getting anywhere?"

"Maybe..."

Yuna flew down the Calm Lands path, the trainer about fifty feet ahead of her. She was about to reach another red balloon, when suddenly—

Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.

Yeowch.

"You know," Yuna whimpered to herself, "Right now I'm just happy knowing that my personal record is four consecutive hits by seagulls. If it ever reaches five, I think I'm going to cry."

Two minutes later, Yuna is suicide bombed by five apparently blind seagulls.

The ex-summoner bursted into tears.

"..Or maybe not."

Five Hours Later
Yuna's face was red, her left eye was twitching, and she was quickly striding over to her group of friends, a murderous expression on her face.

Tidus looked incredibly nervous.

"So wait... the Trainer has the Sigil, right?" He gulped. "Can't we just threaten her or kill her or something? Blackmail? Anything?"

Neither of the girls could respond before Yuna had reached them.

"You know what? This God damn fucking mini-game is fucking hard enough without the fucking trainer there to fucking steal all of the God damn fucking balloons on top of the fucking seagulls fucking hitting me every FUCKING GOD DAMN TEN SECONDS!"

Huff, huff.

Dot. Dot. Dot.

Before Tidus could attempt to calm his current love interest, the Chocobo trainer could be heard from a ways away: "Don't give up. Someday you'll hold the record!"

"You know what? FUCK YOU, TRAINER, and FUCK YOU, TIDUS! YOU SUCK! I'M GLAD YOU DIED AT THE END OF THE GAME! YOU'RE A LOSER!" Yuna stomped off.

"Wait, what did I do?"

The gunner didn't hear him as she angrily strode away. Tidus started to chase after her, but stopped abruptly, because one second later she was run over by something... really, really big.

"I AM MISTER SUNSHINE!

DU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NA KATAMARI DAMACY

NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA

KATAMARI ON THE SWING!"

That's right.

It's shiny. It's colorful. It's got random household appliances sticking out of it: IT'S A GIANT KATAMARI!

After rolling up Yuna, the katamari just kept going and going.. until it was yanked from the ground into the sky by a ginormous thing in tights. Note the mustache, the toupee, the goatee, and the magnificent Chin.

His name: King Cosmos.

Rikku and Paine weren't impressed. Tidus, however, was groveling and making signs of the cross.

"Hmm..." King Cosmos tossed the katamari into the air and caught it, "This katamari is sooooo small! Why, what a joke!" He snapped his fingers. "I know! Stardust!"

Pop.

The entire Katamari—including Yuna—disappeared in a flash of sparkly, shiny stuff.

Pause.

"Oh my God!" Paine shouted. "King Cosmos killed Yuna!"

Rikku glared. "You bastard!"

The End