CHAPTER 14

It was much, much later that Linka made her way up the Palace stairs once again. All things in her visual seemed brighter, sharper, more alive somehow. She felt halfway between drunk and dreaming. It made for a magnificent combination. Her fingers traveled to her lips, which were set in a ready smile, and her body came alive with the recollection of Wheeler's kisses. She sighed and continued to smile. It was the first time she had ever felt like this, her heart full to the brim, resembling water cascading from a boiling pot.

Being with him was nothing less than magical, decided Linka, as she climbed the last step. Wheeler made her feel normal; he'd been attracted to her way before finding out she was royalty, and that made the depth of her emotions feel all the more real. His touch claimed her more and more, his kisses could convince her of just about anything. Why, they could argue, yell and scream at one another, then lose each other in a kiss all in the same breath! Thankfully, now there were fewer and fewer reasons to argue, especially since they'd discovered it was much more fun to kiss and make-out.

Linka bit her lip to keep from laughing at her thoughts, and she distractedly walked by her Grandmother's quarters. The door was ajar, but the Empress noticed her passing just the same. They made eye contact and Linka stopped her walk, before deciding to enter the room.

Grandmother was sitting in front of the mirror, dressed for the morning, as a maid stood brushing out her long silver hair. The majestic room was alive with the bright sunlight pouring in and highlighting the gold finishing on the furniture. Linka remembered what it was like as a child getting lost inside Grandmother's vast room and her games of hide-and-seek with Mishka, which the Empress had always looked upon with joy. It was rare that she had ever raised her voice or frowned at the children. Grandmother had always been very loving; it was impossible not to respect her.

"Darling!" she smiled warmly now, before dismissing the maid so they could be alone.

Linka offered a greeting and kissed the elderly lady's cheek, readily taking place behind her to help her with her hair.

"Were you heading off for a walk, my dear?"

Linka met her eyes in the mirror, all the while noticing what the Empress was seeing. Flushed cheeks and a dreamy smile, eyes lost in another dimension.

"I was actually returning from one, Grandma-Ma."

"You were up early."

Linka let the comment slide, not informing Grandmother that she had yet to sleep, and that it was the furthest thing from her mind at the moment. She lowered her eyes to the strokes of the brush, not sure what to add. Her thoughts were muddied over and blissful.

"You had fun dancing last night, for once," the Empress smiled a little, seeking out Linka's eyes in the reflection before them. The mirror could not lie. And just like that, the young girl knew that it was impossible to escape her Grandmother's watchful eye. She knew her too well, and Linka had changed too drastically for her not to notice.

"You are the picture of blissfulness right now." Grandmother took her hand, and silently invited her to sit beside her. The cushioned chair was as soft as a cloud.

"Linka, child, your whole demeanor changed as soon as you saw your friends. The American boy... he has a soft spot for you, nyet?"

Linka blushed and looked down at her hands, uselessly folded in her lap. She could find no words to express her thoughts.

"I read it in his eyes," Grandmother went on, patting her hand a little as Linka lifted her head to lock eyes with her. "He seems a genuine boy, quick to catch on. He's handsome... and charming. You are fond of him, Linka?"

The blonde girl could only nod helplessly and her Grandmother slowly let go of her hand.

The older woman sat thinking for a few moments in silence before a sigh escaped her lips. "Child, I'm not sure this was what your Father meant when he gave you permission to choose someone." The gentlest tone was used and Linka felt her heart ache a little.

"Grandma-Ma... please don't ask me what's going on because I couldn't describe it to you," Linka finally let out, shaking her head. "What I feel makes no sense to me. All I know is that I think about him all the time, that when I'm with him everything else... stops."

"I'd say we're in trouble, darling."

Linka groaned and placed her head in her hands. "Help me, Grandma-Ma!"

"You didn't initially tell him you were the Grand Duchess, either," the Empress chastised her a little, putting together her love story piece by jumbled piece.

"It doesn't matter to him!" Linka replied in her defense, jutting out her chin proudly.

Her Grandmother leaned closer to her and stroked her hair like she would a child's. "Unfortunately, it does have to matter, dear. You got tangled into each other without contemplating any sort of guarantee for the future. He may not get to have you, Linka, and I think it was unfair of you to deceive him."

The pure state of joy she had reached moments earlier seemed to dissipate into thin air and Linka's face fell a little. Her Grandmother's words were wise and completely true, and at that moment in time she could not help but despise truth.

"Although," the Empresses newly took her hand and let out a small smile, deciding to shift gears, "the temptation would be incredibly hard to resist, I can see that."

The smile was returned as expected, and Linka felt slightly less miserable. "Da."

"When you walked in I could tell that you'd been in his company. Well, did he kiss you?"

"Bozhe moi, Grandma-Ma!" Linka's face colored all different shades of red, causing the Empress to laugh heartily.

"I was a young girl many moons ago, but I still remember what it feels like. He makes you happy, da?"

Linka nodded stupidly and impulsively reached out to hug her dear Grandmother. It was so wonderful to be able to share her deepest feelings with someone who loved her unconditionally, who got her, dumb mistakes and all.

"Sweetheart, I wish I could promise you all your heart's desires right now, but I cannot lie to you. You were born into privilege, and that comes with its own set of strict rules. My best advice at this point is just to enjoy these couple of days you have left with your dear boy. It is, after all, wrong not to take advantage of love once it knocks on our door. The future is never set in stone, and the present is all we have to make lasting memories. So we must choose to live always, and most importantly, love."