Chinatown: Pai Gow Poker

By: Wolfa Moon

DISCLAIMER: Sorry for the wait. Hope you enjoy. Reviews welcome. Please review.

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The day had begun with such a ferocity that I even felt the true sun for a while. People taking seats. People living to the fullest. Today in a long time I felt peace. Interesting how it can become such a stranger then be welcomed again like the prodigal child. Yet always learked. This moment now. Content was the term that was true. Standing off to the side I watched as performers ready their task. Gathering their supplies. Mine already hung over the street. A non-discrete rope. The banner for the talent show hung next to it. Since I could not place a net below to catch me from this height the extra rope would be my lifeline. Talents ranged from Billy's Shakespearian speech to Mr. Green breaking bottles over his head. When my turn arrived I felt nervous, scared, unsure. Feelings all that I was suppressing. Mary announced my name but not my talent. Clad in a pair of black pants and a white shirt I stood out on the awning. My ballet shoes that I haven't acknowledged since my last fast dash across wires in St Louis. Now snug conformed to my feet. People looked for me. Mary announced my name again. Buck laughed saying I must not have had a talent besides the two.

"I would have to agree not." People looked up to me on the awning. Standing there I gave my salute. Looking over the crowd I spy my secret helpers. They are smiling. Nathan shaking his head besides his father. "Damn southern fool." I can hear him say now. It is sunset and the talent show almost over. I asked to be one of the last acts. Approaching the rope that was barely visible. Melding in with the talent banner.

"Falling ain't a talent Ez." Buck laughed up at me. I simple raised my finger to lips asking for all to be quite. Buck smile faded. Stepping out onto the rope I feel it take my weight just like I practiced. Mr. Jackson did a magnificent job with it. Arms out I took some steps forward. People gasped, as I seem to walk on the air. Closing my eyes I breathe. Lost in a memory of good times when the trees were all connected with ropes and we all just ran along them. My arms go to my side and I walk casual toward the middle. Feeling the fading sun on my face I smile. Then I jump. People gasp at my trick. I hear Chris growl something and Buck mutter something along the lines of damn. Looking to my colleagues I spy Vin grabbing a post for dear life. Looking ready to run and catch me if I were to fall. How considerate of him. Stepping forward I step back. Kneeling down on the rope I extend my arms. Leaning back I bring my hands together and take hold of the rope. Normally another would run along the rope and jump over. Billy wasn't that skilled yet. Extending my legs along the rope I arched my back. Lifting my leg I raise it up. Bouncing the rope I get the momentum. My leg begins to bounce on the rope. Ready. Breathing I push off and flip my legs over my head and onto the rope. One foot skimmed the rope slipping. People gasped again. Standing up I smile. People applause. Going to the beginning I turn run and jump. About 2 feet from where I was I land shakily on the rope. People looking up scared and wonder. Moving to the other side I stand. Raising my arms. People applaud. Wondering if I should do it again. Looking below I see the people of this town and how literally small we all are. No one as important as the next. But the individual is important to themselves and even their past and present dilemmas enough to make them important. Stepping back further I look to the rope. One final trick. I run down the awning then into the air. I don't aim for the rope with my feet. I twist in the air and let my arms grab the rope. Dangling from the rope I see. Time to end this. Flipping through my arms I twist back. Securing a leg around the rope I pull out a pocketknife. Secured under my hand, blade on the rope. If I extended my self completely it would be a simple drop to the ground. Where is the adventure in that? The adrenaline. Swinging myself I get the momentum again. My legs getting me higher. The rope drops a little with each swing and then a twang is heard one of the twined ropes had been cut. People part so I don't drop on them. I keep swinging. The seven are now all up and ready. Couple more swings and another goes. Come on. I swing harder. The banner hitting my arms and back. A lost. I was heading back when it broke but held onto the rope as it pulled me forward. Landing in the dirt isle I stand up. Smile on my face. People stare at me. Billy runs over and hugs me.

"That was awesome." Looking to him then to the crowd. All the children eyes wide in amazement.

"Thank you. This is not a trick for the novice or young. This takes years of practice."

"Probably learned to do that robbing people," one of the locals snorted. There went my bubble. Bowing I walked over to Mr. Wilmington.

"My money please." He reached in his pocket and handed me half the weeks pay. Looking down I look to him.

"I'll give you the rest to you later."
"I will hold you to that." Obadiah came over next and hugged me again. This was becoming a habit of his. Ever since I first played the piano I sat with the man going over life. Trying to figure out if it was worth living. He told me it was for him. He got to see his son before he passed. That was worth living for.

"That was better then what you practiced." Nathan looked at him in shock.

"You knew?"

"Of course. I helped with the rope."

"Which I am most obliged. Thank you." Obadiah smiled widened.

"That was a hell of a trick. Shame about the rope." Going over the rope I pull hard. It comes to me. Coiling it I hand him his half.

"This I believe is your half." The man smiled upon taking it.

"He helps you and all you give him is the rope." Obadiah looks about to tell him he got paid but I shake my head. Obadiah can't understand the tension between the two men. Neither do I sometimes. Backing away I get the other side and coil it up. The crowd looks at me. They had gasp and applauded for the show but when the reality came. It was the wary look. Bowing one final time I depart from this so-called talent show and go.

In my room I sink to the ground. Flinging the rope on the bed I simply sit with my back to the door. The proceedings continue as if I had never participated. Never again will I let my money pride get the best of me. Just win it from him at the poker table. There I know what to expect. This was just another item to the list of things I won't miss about this place. The constant judging.

1

The next morning I sleep in. The town is quite. Everyone must be sleeping in. Getting up the routine starts again. Moving down the stairs and out the doors I close my eyes as I step into the sun. Letting it warm me. Breathing I know I can do anything be anywhere and anyone. Air stands still. Looking down the street I see Billy run with Chris, his dog, on his tail. He waves as he runs by me. There are the innocent who just are. Looking up I see Obadiah sitting in the sun. He looks asleep. And there are the ones who have been. Walking down the boardwalk I pass by like there is nothing there. For there was nothing here to hold me. Just terrain known to fight.

"Howdy pard."

"Good day Mr. Tanner." Just keep walking. His steps follow beside me.

"Mighty interesting trick."

"For all it was worth." Looking to the habitants I spot, some turn away. The few who I have gained look at me.

"You had me scarred."

"I don't know why. From what I gathered you should not be concerned with my welfare. Mr. Jackson seems to have taken that to heart. I see why it has not invaded yours." Beginning to walk I was shoved into the alleyway, hard. My breath escaping me.

"I am always concerned, more now then ever." Trying to push off his force. His words. Maybe he had seen the bridge form. Saw me stepping away.

"Why? You turned your back on me. When did it turn back? Now, I suggest you unhand me sir." Trying to push away I am further brought down the darken ally.

"I have never stopped caring about you."

"Could have fouled me with that Charlotte woman. Oh yes she refused to go with you to stay with her husband. I will not be the rebound from that."

"She was the rebound."

"And what am I the leftover? Sorry sir I will not adhere to your, other brain to decide where it should be. Since I confuse you so much. I will depart you responding brain and depart." He forced me into the wall again.

"Listen to me. I do care."

"Not like you once did." I kneed him and push him into the opposing wall. "I suggest you keep a civil head upon your shoulders. For next time I will not behave the gentleman." Walking into the sun. I wish to escape again. Thinking I had hidden all the demons away from last nights pain. Yet coming out from the dark. The daylight no longer frightening them. No longer a safe light. They say to keep out of the shadows. But in the shadows I think I will find my only solace. Or maybe I will make my own light.

Opening Chaucer's gate I let him walk out. No bridal, no saddle. Walking away he follows. Little Ezra at my heals. Chaucer's gait has been slowing. Something was wrong with my friend. Thinking a little run of freedom would help lift his spirits. We walk to the open. He walks gently beside me.

"Go ahead, run." Chaucer just nudged me and follows me as I sat under a tree. Ezra ran around the field with open vigor. Chaucer just munched on a few items then lay down beside me. Resting his head by my leg. "What's the matter boy?" I pet along his neck. His breathe making the grass move. Something was wrong. Maybe here, maybe there, maybe now, or even yet to come. There was something. Pulling out a book I begin to read. Trying to escape from this world I was captive in.

The stranger came early in February one wintry day, through a biting

Wind and a driving snow, the last snowfall of the year, over the down,

Walking as it seemed from Bramblehurst railway station and carrying a

Little black portmanteau in his thickly gloved hand. He was wrapped up

From head to foot, and the brim of his soft felt hat hid every inch of

His face but the shiny tip of his nose; the snow had piled itself against

His shoulders and chest, and added a white crest to the burden he carried. *1*

2

The days rotate around me. The sun chasing the moon or is it the moon chasing the sun. Can't tell anymore. Up is down, down is up. Vin has been watching me closely again. Maybe he should ask Buck for help in finding a willing lady to scratch his itch. For this one was having none of it. I had to push back. Had to make myself stand apart. If they are near me when the end comes they will all be hurt. And I do not want that on my conscience alive or dead as I may end up. Dealing cards I deal my life away. The music lay untouched in my room. Ever wonder if I am going to finish it. Unsure now if I should. For who knows the future. The cards can give hints. But never certain. A ditty graced my presence a fortnight ago but now it faded on the wind.

Chris hovers around. But the rest go back on with there lives. No inner turmoil to share with the world for it was all inside. And the ones who knew treat me as my mask. To which I don't mind. It was good in a way. Collecting another winning pot everyone looks up as Nathan enters the room. He looks a shambles. His eyes tearing at the room. It was not air for he was familiar with the smoke. His eyes teared. Watching him he goes to the bar and orders a bottle. Devouring it down like a man who needs to drown. The worst has happened I realize. Collecting my winning I move to the deprived man.

"Mr. Jackson?" All eyes follow me as I attempt to lasso the wild bull. Chris and Vin watch as I proceed. "Nathan, is it your father?" He slammed the bottle back down on the bar. Nathan's eyes red, not just red rimmed but burning red. Red and about to blow. If Chris could use me to blow off steam then maybe I can do it again. Time was ending. Days were beginning.

"Why do you care? You used him to make your damn rope. The only real use should be for you to put it around your next and swing." Watching the man I see the pain. I should not fight back but he had hurt the fond memories that I had shared with his father. Sick and tired of waiting for the fight to come to me. And one could always use practice.

"Maybe if you were a better doctor you could have prolonged his life a little longer or made his last days pleasant instead of being the little slave boy you grew up as." The rage boiled over the edges. The bottle flew by my head and I was pushed into the bar. He hit me. My arms raised to protect me. I could hear him scream at me through his pain.

"At least I know who I am. At least I don't hide behind," I kicked him right where it hurts. He would be feeling it in the morning the same as I would be feeling this fight. His words were about to unmask me. His weight was pulled off me and came face to face with Chris. Nodding my head I straighten myself. It was over for tonight. And the world rotated. The sun chasing the moon or the moon chasing the sun.

3

Brushing down Chaucer I notice him shiver and stamp his feet near me.

"Easy boy. We'll go for a ride soon."

"How about a ride now?" Turning round I spot the rest of the seven enter to gather their horses.

"Where are we going?"

"Railroad Camp." Oh, what have we gotten into this time?

4

When we get there I separate myself from the men and their musing. I head to the gambling parlor in this town. Everyplace needed a release. And I was releasing myself from them. This game was interesting to learn. Always good to learn something new. Understanding very little spoken but understanding so much in gesture. Losing and winning it was all in the game. Sensing the presence of Mr. Jackson I chose to ignore him for I haven't forgiven him for his outburst. One that he seems to have swept under the carpet.

"So, do I have to come up with six spots, or four?" Smiling the innocent newcomer. Truthfully I was, but I was a gambler so knew how to play if not the game at hand but the one of gestures. "I've never been good with figures." The man I wish to ignore invades my space.

"What the hell are you doing?" His tone sets the cord vibrating in my calm center. No longer calm. But since I am the better man I remain civil.

" Trying to ingratiate myself with these good people, the better to ascertain information. Oh, my turn? There you go." Putting down my tiles ignoring him. Centering on what I'm, Ezra, is good at. The men mutter in Chinese. "I win? Oh, well, not again. Imagine that. Beginner's luck and all." Gathering my winning I look to them. This is fun. Always is when you are winning. "One more? One more." they mutter to one another and begin to shuffle the dominos again. Ignoring Nathan I focus on the game. Then I felt a poke. Looking over I spy the intruder. Here is a man who needs to take a bath.

" Hey. Like to buy girl? She can do many things. Not only cook and clean, but love, too." Then I notice his shadow. A petite little thing. Nathan stepped up into my view.

"You can't sell that girl." Yes he could.

" My niece. I can do what I like with her. Hey, she very pretty, huh?" Thought so. Nathan looked at me for support. I was done giving him any.

" I'll give you a dollar for the girl." Now it was going to get interesting. Yes I realize it was wrong of me not to help but let's see how long it will take Nathan to ask for my help. Cause I have something that he lacks.

" Mister, you get the hell out of here." Collecting up my dominos I arrange them accordingly. A simple ear to the auction.

"Hey, boy! This is Central Pacific land. Okay? You got no authority." The trader acknowledges the amount.

" One dollar?"

" Yes."

" You can have her for one dollar."

" Hold it, wait, wait. Two dollars."

" Three." Nathan taps me asking for the help that Ezra can provide, money.

" Help me out here, Ezra. Do you see that man's eyes? He's trying to sell his niece so he can buy opium." My heart still closed off to him. Why should I care?

" Whereas I find that shocking and most unfortunate, I am hardly a social reformer."

" Well, I ain't turning a blind eye to slave trade. Four dollars. I got four dollars." You are the one who turned first if one remembers.

"You like. She make you very happy. You buy."

"Ten. Ten dollars." Nathan leans to me.

" I'm out of money."

" No wonder, the way you spend it." I gather my winnings from this round.

" You're gonna take those winnings and you're gonna buy that girl out of her trouble." I look and laugh at him. My eyes intensify making him see that I don't care.

" Now, that would be financially imprudent, Mister Jackson."

" You pay ten dollar? More than ten dollar?"

" Wait, wait. " He gets right in my ear. "You cough up that money, or else I'm gonna tell them where you're hiding those extra dominoes." Looking to him he would tell the lie. And in a town like this I would end up as soup. Where was Chris when you need him? It wouldn't be the first time that Chris has had to drag Nathan away from me before he did something stupid. Like get me killed. Looking to the innocent, then I look top the hungry eyes of the other man. He would hurt the innocence and leave a shell. Something I was becoming.

" Anybody pay more than ten dollar? All right, you take."

" Eleven dollars." I speak to the man for the first time.

" Eleven dollar! It's a deal. You buy. She's yours." I hand over the money and she is shoved toward me. The hungry angry man leans toward me.

" You're gonna regret you did that."

" Oh, I already do." The man departs. Thank gods. Nathan tries to leer at the trader.

" Mister, I done seen some low things in my life, but I ain't never seen nothing like this." He takes the money and leaves. Nathan turns to the shadow that is now standing all on her own.

" You're free to go." The girl looks from Nathan then to me. The true owner I guess in her eyes.

" You heard the man. Best be on your way now." Nathan takes over.

" You got someplace you can go? Huh?" The girl nods and runs off. Turning to the man.

" Well, Mister Jackson, you're now indebted to me for seven dollars." He waves a hand of dismissal and leaves. I would get my money back. And he knows it. For friendship had passed for me. And I was no longer playing mere games of enjoyment. I intend to collect.

The ride home was interesting. JD went on and on about the potions they had bought. We all laughed but it was strained for me. Keeping my distance but trying to enjoy the moment.

Once we were back I began my normal routine with Chaucer. Ezra prancing around my feet.

"Boy you must have had fun to be sweating this much." I kept brushing him down.

"Hey Ezra?" Looking up I spy JD.

"Yes Mr. Dunne?"

"Um, You know Inez well?" I tilt my head to him. What reputation had I earned this time with the fair lady. "Well you see Buck bought the love potion right and he intends to use it on Inez. Do you think she would play along with me to get Buck to think the potion worked but she would fall for me?" Smiling I look down then up. Nodding my head.

"Anything that Lady Inez can wield over Mr. Wilmington she almost always game." JD smile widens. Then looks to Chaucer.

"Is he okay?"

"I believe so. He is just depressed we didn't get a longer ride." JD smiles.

"Don't they all. Thanks Ez. Later."

"Good Day." JD was off. Smiling I continue my ministration. Chaucer nudged my pocket. Somethings never changed and for those small things I was grateful. I had two true friends. One by my side and one dancing at my feet. Giving him a piece of mint as I finish.

5

The night was fair. Winning back the money that I had loaned Mr. Jackson. I figured it was time to hit the featherbed. Entering the room I was giddy. Pleased that I was making progress. Progress to what. Throwing my hat it landed on the bedpost. A smile filtering onto my face. A noise. Drawing my gun I aim for the only place for someone to hide.

" Show yourself." Yes they could have hid under the bed but then. The girl from the camp came slowly out of the closet." Come on out of there." She stepped closer to me.
" I hang your coat?" She comes toward me with a hanger. I turn away from her in a dance of escape, uncertainty. But, why?
" I, I, I'd rather you just tell me what it is you're doing here?" She shied back from my words.

"Folding your beautiful clothes for you." Ah.
" Well, that's most gracious of you, but I distinctly recall setting you free, Miss, uh--?"
" My name Li Pong. May I take your coat now?" My mind stopped functioning. What the hell? She was suppose to go to wherever. Somehow my coat is off and in her quant hands.
" How on Earth did you find me?" It shouldn't be that easy to find me. But he found me. My first mistake. Never be oneself when the world is looking. The world is always looking. Even when you think it's not. And when you least suspect.
"I ask where the man with the red coat lives." People just had to ask in the end. Telling anyone where the man in red is. She puts my beloved red coat in the closet and motions to the bed.
" You sit here, please?" To stunned by her presence her I sit. Wrapping my head around the fact that this little pixy fluttered her wings and discovered my abode. She flutters over and begins to remove my boots. Wait, wait,
"Uh, listen, uh, Li Pong, clearly, you don't understand. You don't have to be here." She looks into my eyes. So sad. So lost.
" Yes, I do." Gods a lost pixy without the knowledge of her powers extent.
" Now, look, darling. Uh, where I come from, a gentleman does not take advantage of a lady who feels obliged." I may pretend to be a gentlemen, and therefore put that right into practice very harshly at this moment.
" Oblige?" the word rolls smoothly off her tongue making any ungentlemanly grab her and oblige her right then and now. A knock shakes us out of the moment of defining oblige to that of her fluttering behind me.
" Ezra!" Good lords, what does he want? Nathan enters.
" Hey, that girl's been looking—" He notices my pixy. "Oh, you keeping yourself a slave girl, now, huh?" What the hell? I was about to take that saber in my closet and truly teach him what I learned. And I wouldn't hold back.
" Sir, I take umbrage at that heinous accusation. I emancipated this girl. You saw it with your own eyes." He sneers at me.
" And those same eyes are seeing this." He has really lost it. Obadiah I could really use your help right now.
" I will not sit here and be viciously maligned." Standing I begin to put my boots on. This is my sanctuary. And I would not be bullied on my turf.
"I don't care what you do. I'm taking this girl with me. Come on, honey. Come on." Wish I didn't take off my guns. She flutters behind me. Grabbing my arm I feel her trembling. And he thinks I am the one to be feared. Look what he is doing to this innocent. He is becoming the one thing he hates. A bigotry taskmaster. Cowering behind me, she speaks.
" Please let me stay. I have nowhere else to go." Nathan stands about to take her but I turn and move her away from the taskmaster before he gets his whip ready.
" Now, now. Darling, you don't have to go anywhere. You are quite welcome right here." Nathan looks ready to strike with his whip. Has he truly shielded himself of what I really am? Or is the con all he sees? Time to play. "Assuming a bedroll on the floor will suffice?"
" Any place will do. Thank you." She still hides behind me but the trembles have stopped.
" All right, now, calm down." turning to Nathan, if looks could kill. "As for you, I believe you owe me seven dollars--and an apology." My words threatening him to put his whip away before I pulled out my shotgun and shoot him for insubordination. Maybe I'll just shoot him in the kneecap. My eyes narrow. If he wants to play. I can play. Letting my master evil side prevail over his. He backs away but tries to remain stronger then me.
" We'll see." He departs. Closing the door I lock it and rest my head against it. She comes behind me.

"Sorry for trouble." Turning to her. So innocent. Was I ever that innocent? Once, once. A faded dream. A forgotten fairy tale.

"There is no trouble. Just an old argument." Moving back to the bed I sit down resting my head in my hands. What am I becoming? What am I making them become? The pixy sits next to me. Her wings flutter as she touches my shoulder.

"You alright?"

"I am fine. Just," what am I? Another knock on the door. Going to my dresser I pick up my guns. I will shoot him this time. "Who is it?"

"Yosemite." Oh lord. Opening the door I stare at the hard worked man.

"What's wrong?"

"Come quick." He turns away expecting me to follow. There was only one place he could go that would concern me in the dead of night. Or some help which he would oblige me with the information. Picking up my gun holster I look to the pixy.

"It's alright. Stay here and rest."

"May I come with you?" I was her champion.

"Sure." she moves out the door and I lock it. Moving down the back stairwell we make it to the livery. Yosemite is standing outside Chaucer's stall holding a lantern up for me to see. Moving quickly I come to the stall. Chaucer is on the ground lying on his side. Ezra licking and resting his head on Chaucer's wide neck. Oh gods. Swinging the doors open I kneel beside him.

"That dog was making a racket getting the other horses going so I came in to check." His light closer now so I could see my friend better. "This what I find."

"Do you know what's wrong?"

"Not sure. To dark to do anything right now. Morning we can see." And he could be gone. I was losing. Losing so hard for what I fought for. Lost my husband, my child, losing the six comrades who would once fight for me now wind bound. And now this. Moving in I settle myself against the stalls side lifting his majestic head into my lap. Stroking him just how he likes. Just how I do to comfort myself. To have tactile touch with something that loves me and I love. The lantern comes closer. Looking up the pixy has found something to do. To be useful. I am hardly useful. She sits beside me stroking his muzzle. No bedroll this night. No featherbed this night. Straw. And the knowledge of my friends breathe and beats beneath my fingertips.

6

The night was long. Tremors waking me. His constant moving and pawing at the ground. At least Ezra found a comfy bed in Li's lap. She had fallen asleep while I watched my friend. Something was wrong.

Daylight broke through the night. My body finally succumbing to sleep.

Upon arriving we tried to figure out what was wrong with him. Yosemite thought of several things. Colic becoming the main prognosis. So the day began with us trying to coax water and oil down my friend. Li helping out. For which I am most grateful for. Not wanting to leave but I had to perform my duty. Li volunteered to stay with my friend. Thanking her I left.

My duty was usual mundane normality, for once. Shift over I go to the livery to check on my friend. There I find Li petting his neck and singing a soft song in her native tongue. Soothing and beautiful. Leaning I listen to her. So caught up in my own notes, forgetting that others had notes, tones to tell their tale. Hers was sad, but then in the tone hid a strong powerful magical fairy yearning to be released from her spell. Daring to create and spell on her own.

"Ms. Pong."

"Li." She corrects me. Bowing my head.

"Li, it is late. We should retire for the evening." Moving in I stroke my friends muzzle. "How is he?"

"He is fair." What could I expect? He was trying. Trying to live. Please live my friend.

"Thank you. Shall we?" Offering my arm. She kisses Chaucer on the muzzle and takes my arm. Leading her back to my abode I notice riders coming in. Outside the saloon I notice who it is. Stopping. "Li go inside ask Ms. Inez for a bedroll to use and add it to my tab. I shall meet you in my room." She follows my gaze and bows to me before she flies off. My comrades discuss what has been happening at the railroad camp. Myself easily falling asleep during the conversation. It had been a long day. Retiring to my room, there sitting patiently in the rocking chair sat Li. Eyes closed and the rocker moving. A sense of peace. Vin asked me once why I had it. My reply was hard to put into words but I found something that assembled a satisfactory answer. The answer. It felt like being safe. Wrapped in a blanket and held in her arms. Ever climb a tree before a storm just to feel the sway. It is intoxicating. And the same with the rocker. It was a place to meditate. Moving slowly I touch her. She jerks awake and turns to me.

"Mr. Standish."

"My apologizes for have startling you." Standing away from her I look to the bedroll on the ground. "I believe it is time for bed." Li got dutifully up and began to prepare her bedroll. Sitting down on my bed I just watch her movements. Looking practiced. How many times had I had to sleep on the floor, even without a bedroll? She probably has always slept there. The gentleman in me seeing the lady of who I was. Who I am?

"Oh, this is ridiculous." Truly angry at myself for not seeing. "You can't sleep down there." She quickly begins to stand from her bedroll.
" Oh, then I go sleep in the hallway?" What?
" The hallway?" My brain finally catching up with the words. "No! No! Uh, look, I, I may be a scoundrel, but I'm still a gentleman," In appearance, "and I will not allow a lady to sleep on the floor while I enjoy the comforts of a featherbed. Now, up you go." She remained kneeling right where she was. Eyes down to the ground. What did she think I was going to do, ravage her in the middle of the night? Even if I wanted to ravage something in the middle of the night it certainly wouldn't be a girl. Her mind must be set on the cruel thought. " Madam, amongst my many misdeeds, taking advantage of a woman has never been one of them." Her pixy eyes finally coming to rest on my own.
"Then you, you don't want to?" Shacking my head. I have had an itch for a while but I was not going to follow Sappho's path in pleasing myself. Playing the role of gentleman I look to her with the eyes of a man but the brain of a woman.

" I am a man, of course I al-always want to, but I certainly don't intend to. So, get up on this bed, I will sleep on the floor. I insist. Up you go. I'll be right down here on the floor. Go on, don't worry." I move off the bed so she can take comfort in it. I begin to make myself comfortable to sleep on the floor. "I'll be just fine...right here...on the floor." Not having to do this in a while with a perfectly good bed a mere millimeter away. Laying down I watched her get comfortable.
" Oh, it's so soft." Sitting up I stare at her.
"Well, this can't be your first featherbed." A beautiful thing like her never knowing the true comforts of this new world.
" In San Francisco, my family very poor. We always sleep on the floor." So far from home. Weren't we all.
" Is that where your family is now?" She nods.
" We were going to start a new life there, but my father, he became very ill. And Mother, she could not take care of all of us, so I was sent to my uncle." That drug head. He never knew what gem he truly had in his possession.
" Well, you must miss them terribly." I know I miss mine, deeply.
" But I'm glad to be here." Looking to her in shock. "You are a good man." A smile creeps upon my face.
" Oh, don't be fooled by a few good manners." Ezra was a con. Eliza was the heart.
" I know many bad men, but you are different."

" Different?" You have no idea my dear. "Well, that is hard to deny." Certainly if I disrobe you would see. While talking we had leaned into each other space. Trying to hear what the other spoke.
" Do you want kiss me?" The true little tempting pixy. I shake my head. It has been to long since I had enjoyed the pleasure of the body with another. " I don't feel--how you say? Oblige?" She kisses me. Yearning for it I kiss back then remember who I am and who she is. Who she is. Jumping back from her as if bitten by a snake. "Sorry sorry." She tries to cower into the featherbed.

"No it is my fault for letting you think such thoughts." She looked at me as if trying to figure out what the problem was. Tilting her head the other way a look of knowledge crossed her features. "Do you prefer men?" Moving back further from her. "Many men in camp find pleasure in men." If only I could tell her.

"It is a little more complicated then that?" She sits up and stares at me letting me make the first move. Boy is she in for a major shock. Relaying my tale to her. Her gaze tilted several times at my revelation to her. At the end she merely took my hands into hers and kissed them. The story not frightening her away. Not sending her out into the streets to scream what I truly am to the whole world. Maybe the world would be better then. All this cloak and dagger would be over with. And then maybe I would be free. Her body finally giving out to the night. She slept for the first time ever on a featherbed. My tale over for the night. Needing air I take the only chair that occupied the room to the balcony over looking the street. Seeing life the way it should be lived. Not hidden but bare to all the brute force of the world. Rocking away I try and let the night roll over me like waves on the ocean moving my non-existent boat. Maybe she would flee and tell all what she learned. Wishing to sail away I close my eyes and listen to the water crash against my bow. Bobbing in the water yearning to breath. Yearning for so many things. Riding out the waves.

"Eliza?" Stopping the ocean. The figure walks on the water over to my boat. Or for her she has learned to fly with her wings. She stands before me now. "Eliza?" the question plays on her tongue. Looking at her there is no danger. I welcome her onto my boat. She takes a seat on my boat. The waves begin to move us again.

"It's so quiet here." For the moment.
" Just wait. The saloon hasn't emptied out yet." When the drunks came out the night took on another scene.
" On the railroad, the workers, they work all day and night. There always noise." Betting there was never silence. Never a moment of true rest. That is why they escaped to the opium dens like her uncle.
" Well, that's hard work for half of what they were promised. Browner must be making a mint."
" And my people starve." She wanted to fight. How could a poor pixy unknown of her powers help save her people? Maybe a secret can help out in the other worlds beyond her own.
" Presumably, Browner has to account for every penny the railroad gives him. He must be doctoring the books. What's wrong?" Looking to her, knowledge had made itself present for her. What did it relieve to her that made her have hope?
"If you had a chance to help my people, would you do it?" I couldn't even save myself at the moment. How did she expect me to save others? But maybe,
" Well, I'm, uh, I'm not a Good Samaritan by nature, but, what do you have in mind?" Her eyes twinkled at me. A knight hidden in so much armor over armor. How did she see through the layers?
"I used to clean Mister Browner's office. And often he go about with his business as if I were blind to see what he was doing. I saw more than he knows." Bet you have, you little pixy you. She began to tell me her tale. Telling me all the details of the office. Even the combination to his safe. What one thinks no one sees when they are just tools to be used. Suggesting bed I tuck her in. Telling her a tale yet to be done. Hopefully living ever after in the end. Only if the main character didn't die in his/her attempt.

7

Escaping in the night I borrow a horse from the livery and ride out to the camp. Sneaking around I walk into Browner's office. Following the path Li told me. So focused on my intent I forgot to remain alert. Browner's had returned to the office and not alone. The evidence in my hands ripped from them. I guess the hero was not going to win. They disarmed me and dragged me to a hill overlooking their operation. The men had removed my jacket and any other belonging they thought useful to them. Refusing to begin to dig my own grave I was punched several times and a bullet sent whizzing by my ear. Hey the longer I take to dig the longer I stay alive. Maybe help will come, maybe. My eyes spot the other mounds close to my very own. Nobody helped them. Guess Neal is going to luck out in the killing and ravaging of me. Shame. I begin to dig.

The day gets hotter and the hole is now up to my waist.

"He don't look so fancy now, do he?" He laughs at me. "Oh, I told you you'd regret taking that gal away from me." That I would never regret.
" You know what they say: No good deed goes unpunished." I lean against the shovel. Dirty, tired, exhausted.
" Keep digging," he orders. Yes hurry to your death. Then my brain finally functioned after so long at concentrating on this menial task. Looking him right in the eyes, no squinting in the sunlight at my warden.

"I was just pausing to consider the enormous amount of money your Mister Browner must be making—"
" Boy, you talk too much." Kyle getting hot and tired by standing in the morning sun. Hm, maybe I can do somethings still better then these men. Think.
"But, being a smart man, I'm sure you've negotiated for yourselves a large percentage of that money. Seeing as how you're taking all the risks."
" Well, that's none of your business." Ah ha.
" Oh, don't tell me. You're not-- Oh, gentlemen, for shame. You could be taking advantage of a golden opportunity." Money always talks.
" Take advantage how?"
" If Mister Browner's employers got a look at that ledger, well—" Laughing at their greed and maybe my salvation. "Let's just say he'd be dismissed, which would leave you in charge of the camp and, and all that money. That is, if you were smart." I begin to dig. Kyle's face scrunched up with thinking. My moment. I fling the dirt in his face and swing at the other men with the only weapon I have in my possession. Escaping I roll down the slope fighting for my life. The heavy crunch and a cocking of a gun gains my attention while I fight the man on top of me.
"Hey!" a shot rings out. The other man still on top of me I stare up at the owner of the gun. Still struggling with the weight on top of me. Wanting to scream let me go the weight is gone. Sitting up I spy the sun. Winded I am grateful for his rising.
" Well, as always, Mister Tanner, your timing is impeccable." Vin helps me up as I reach for my pocket watch off Kyle. "This is mine." Kicking him in the only mind he truly possesses he bends over and I push him the rest of the way down the slope. That move becoming a normal staple for me. Vin just smiles at my antic. Tilting my head I go over to the horses and find the one that held all my belonging. Getting up I wince. Vin gets on Peso ignoring my pain. Or if he did see it he is keeping his distance. For which I am grateful. Last nights contact with a human body made my itch even stronger. Damn I need to get away soon. Following Vin we meet up with the others. Nathan looks me over. This man is truly trying my last reserve with him.

"It's not like you, riding off alone to save the day. What's come over you?" Could ask the same question of you, sir. But thinking the answer he should be giving me to know what had crawled up his ass and died.
" Well, uh, I'll let you know when I figure it out." Chris can see the tension between us. I turn back to his gaze. Knowing I am ready to fight. Realizing if he doesn't give me a new target soon I would take the one that was truly the one that I wanted to beat into submission. Driving the taskmaster back into the ex slave I know.
" Hyah!" the only command given to let us know we are riding in. Riding into what. We make our way through the camp.
Browner's men destroying tents and beating the workers. We fought them hard and good. Capturing the bad guys and us the heroes, again. Taking the ledgers I head off to his office and go over them. Chris comes in some time later watching me diligently going over every inch of the paper fudging.

"Find anything interesting?" He takes a seat across from me handing me a cup of coffee. Looking to him I take the cup. Sipping it I put it back down.

"Everything is interesting Mr. Larabee." Focusing on the books.

"How are you doing?" Pausing I look to the pack leader.

"I am fine, why do you ask?"

"You seem to be separating from us."

"Sir it is not on my own accord that I do this. I have others pushing me in that direction." Chris nodded his head seeing it too.

"You hardly push back."

"Why should I? I have done nothing to provoke such inquiry." Staring at him I try to see if he is there as the leader or there as a friend, maybe. "Sir I am tired of being pushed. You have relented recently and the others have taken up where you have slackened." Chris looked away at that. It was true he had pushed in the beginning. But then Chris mind had changed and taken to protecting my tail side. His eyes look into mine.

"I am sorry." Tilting my head I wonder where the joke laid. "Ezra, you make it so easy and so hard to get to you. We been together over a year now and we still are breaking down walls with you."

"And they are helping rebuild them as fast as they have demolished them." Chris could only nod in agreement. He had seen it. This conversation is a solitary note being repeated over and over again to grate on the nerves. Not moving to a higher note or to a lower. Constant repeat. A note that haunts you even after it was last tapped.

"Just know Ez if you truly need us we will be there for you." Nodding I turn to the book. Only if it were that easy. "Billy told me how you helped him out on his speech." Focusing on the books I answer without looking up.

"Yes." What was he worried I had intruded upon his fatherly advances? Chris leaned back in his chair.

"It was impressive." Looking up from my work I watch him. "He told me about the play it comes from. And it was a mighty good read." Tilting my head. "I never read it before. Hell it was something I never thought to read before. Yet since I'm the leader of us black sheeps it was very informative."

"I am glad it has helped you."

"So where did you learn to tightrope? Maude teach that to you?"

"Heaven's forbid. Could you see my mother doing that? Hardly."

"So where did you learn or more reason why?"

"Why not? It is not the rumor flowing around me these days." Chris grunted to that. People believing I would walk their cloths lines into their house to steal their belongings. "Why are you truly here?"

"I'm worried about you. Afraid your going to leave town or do something stupid."

"And would that be a bad thing. Considering how the others are. It would be safe for me to ride away."

"It's always easy to run away."

"So you would think. But then where would I go? Yes I could go to the big cities and make my fortunes. But then who would teach the children Shakespeare? Tend to Mr. Henderson's books making sure he isn't getting swindled? Who would help Mrs. Potter with her money legalities and purchases? Who would help Mary correct her articles when she is having a hard time trying to believe which stories are true and which are long tales? Who would help Hamas at the telegraph office when his wife needed him home to help tend the children? Who would be your punching bag when you try to drown your sorrows in that rotgut you drink? Who would Josiah try to reform into an image he has represented for me? Who would Vin stare after in this town when you aren't around? Who would Nathan vent to about his past? Who would represent his past? The next southern voice that walked into town? And what if he were injured? Would the past be too much for him? Who would JD turn to for advice when he wants to get one up on his older brother? Who would Buck look after when JD goes out of town or even when JD finally does claim his wits and marry Ms. Casey? Tell me who would become these things. What would become of those things?" Watching Chris ponder every question I threw at him. Watching him to see how easy for me it was to run away. Watching him see what it would do to the town. Watching what it would do the coined magnificent seven. Chris looked deep into my eyes. Yes I could walk away. Then what would happen to the town? In his eyes I see him seeing his town crumble around him. Looking away from me, he realized they relied on me a lot more then they did him. Yes he was the leader. The major law. But for all those personal touches. Those personal endeavors that I dealt with. Chris looked into my eyes and held them. Hoping to see if I was playing a trump on him. Or would I slide up my sleeves and reveal my hidden ace. Then slam it on him without a trace or sense. His mouth opened then it closed.

"I'll leave you to the books." Chris removed himself from my presence. Watching him go he walked with a man who held a heavy weight. And he should. Holding the weight for so long had become tiring. Turning to the books I work through the night. The day passed and my notes written to the amount that had been way laid to line Browner's pockets. Sending a messenger into town I had the wire tell of how much money was owed to the workers of the railroad. Tired I lay on one of the couches in Browner's office. The days become tiring.

8

Awakening I am greeted with Vin holding a plate of eggs and bacon to me.

"Did you eat at all yesterday?" Sitting up I let the fog clear.

"It must have been forgotten." By the others who I was riding with. They knew I was here. The walls up around my fortress. My thoughts stared at the food. They knew I was in here looking over the books. Mr. Jackson probably thought I was in here seeing what I can swindle.

"Yeah, it's been busy."

"I know." Taking a bite of the eggs. Josiah's cooking. He loves his salt and pepper. "Have the officials arrived yet?"

"They are riding in now." Good. Finishing quickly I walk out into the sunlight. Vin standing behind me. The ledgers secure under my arm I see the officials ride to the office. Stepping down I greet them.

"It's all in here, gentlemen. I trust complete and total restitution will be provided to the Chinese laborers." Handing over the ledgers I feel another good deed added to my books to help me when I was going to be bad. Another man stands with the officials who Vin congratulates on becoming the new rail boss. The bag of money exchanging hands. He nods.
"I'll see to it." Vin leaves as I watch McAfee dump the money on a table to follow my paper of how much each person deserved.
" Now, if, um, the Central Pacific should feel inclined to acknowledge our efforts with, say, a reward, well—" He looks at me as I stop. My eyes turned away to see my pixy. " We'll continue this discussion later." Going to her I see her attire is more representable. Traveling cloths. And other items given to her for her journey. I knew she would leave. What reason did she have to stay? " Something of a second family, aren't they?" She smiles to me.
" Some of them, yes."
" Well, um, maybe you'll see your real family soon." It's always hard to say good bye.
"When I left, I knew it would be forever."
" I, uh, I have a feeling it'll be a whole lot sooner than that. Um, now—" I hand her a roll of money. Finding the hidden cash hold in Browner's office." --this should cover your travel expenditures back to San Francisco." She looks shocked.
"You want me to go?" That's what I presumed from all the gifts bestowed upon her.
"Oh, no. No, of course." I did want her to stay. She was a good friend. But her wings had expanded and she found out what she could do. "I don't, but it's where you belong." She kisses me and hugs me.

"Thank you for everything."
"Thank you." Stepping away I go to my loaner horse. Striding up in the saddle I look over the town. I would not be coming back here. Riding home was a quick ride. The others riding in front and me the tail. The omega of the pack. Chris looked to me every once and a while. Wondering if he found answers to all my questions.

9

Arriving into town I went to the stables to return the loaner and check on Chaucer. The others had stabled their horses and headed to the saloon. Chaucer wasn't any better then he was. My friend was fading. He was standing for once but his whole body shacked and quivered. His legs constantly pawing at the ground. His heart pounding under my hands. My majestic friend. What was I going to do? He needed to be put down. To stop the suffering. Yet I don't think my heart could do it. The world was cruel.

Shots rang out. Moving to the opening of the livery I saw my comrades pinned down across from the bank. Some highjackers must be thinking to steal the extra money the railroad was passing through for it's hard workers. The robbers owned the bank. They needed me but how. Running back into Chaucer's stall I bring him out into the sunlight. Leaning into his neck and right into his ear.

"I need you help one final time my friend." Leaping onto his back I drew my guns. "Let's go my friend." Rebel screaming I make my way down the town's street. Controlling my friend with my legs I can feel how bloated he has become. My poor friend. No saddle on. No time. Arriving in front of the bank. The firing seemed to stop at my yell. They all looked to me as I turned Chaucer to the bank. Squeezing tight we moved toward the bank never slowing. The robbers realizing what I was doing began to open fire. Riding straight into the bank, glass shattered around us. Sliding off I shot the robbers down to the ground dead. I could shoot outlaws but my friend. Guns smoking I make sure all who had fallen remain fallen. Turning to my friend I realize he is no longer standing. Lowering my guns I move to him. He has been shot in several places. Kneeling down I stroke his neck getting blood all over me. I don't care. "Easy, easy." he tries to move his head to my voice. "It's okay." Moving so he can see me I stroke his neck and down his nose. Such a magnificent animal. The others arrive behind me.

"Aw hell." I hear Buck. Then the scampering of feet running outside becoming sick. Buck's boots following his younger brother. Out of the corner of my eyes I spy Nathan checking on the robbers. They are all dead. I made sure of it. Josiah standing in the middle praying over them. My hands stayed where they were. They could go on with their lives but I had lost something precious to me. No one could ever replace him.

"Pard?" Vin voice called over my shoulder.

"No, no." the words escaped from my lips. Vin placed a hand on my shoulder. Shrugging it off I lean down toward Chaucer. "Shh, shh."

"What the hell happened to my bank? What the hell is that animal doing in here?" The manager came in, Vin growled at him and pushed him outside. Away from me. My mood radiated don't mess with me. If he had come within my eye line they would need a new manager.

"Ezra?" Chris stepped closer across the fallen glass.

"Don't not yet." My hands continued their dance along his wondrous, powerful body. His heaving slowing down but his heart beating so fast.

"Let me do it. He's hurting terrible." Leaning down I hug him as I have done so many times in life. Not caring about the blood. Not caring period.

"Easy my friend. We are almost home." Chaucer takes in my scent. "My magnificent horse." Petting him I stand up and move back. Chris standing beside me. He raises his gun. But I was quicker. Pulling his second gun I turned and fired true at my friend. His breath stopped. His heart a forgotten beat. His body just a shell. Looking at him lie there he looked like how everyone looked when they died. Just sleeping. He's just sleeping. The gun was slipped from my hands by it's owner.

"It's over now Ezra." Yes it was. Stepping away I head outside. The Manager came right into my personnel space.

"That creature needs to be removed from this premises and I expect you to pay for the damages." Now wasn't a good time. I should have said move to give him a warning. That was before. I punched him in the gut. When he was bent over from the first I right crossed him across the jaw sending him into the dust. Blood marked his face. It wasn't his blood. It was Chaucer's. Looking at my hands I look at the town. Their eyes all looking at me. Ezra must really look a sight to them covered in blood.

"Ezra." Looking to Vin I see no judgment in my actions just sorrow. Now was not the time to grieve. Especially in such a public place. He moved toward me but I moved off toward the saloon. To my room. Moving on muscle memory alone I entered. Removing my jacket I hear the door close behind me and the cocking of a gun.

"Either shoot me now and get it over with. Or speak you peace I am not in the mood."

TBC

*1* The Invisible Man by: H.G. Wells