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Chapter 14 - Gift of Knowledge

Sakura Haruno

After I said that, Karin lunged, but was held back by Sasuke. I sat there, watching, and told him that his brother had his boxers so they would be returned. He nodded, and their group returned to their camp. For the rest of our trip, I was withdrawn. Konan tried to get me alone to talk, but I took lengths to avoid her. I even went into Madara and Pein's tent and demanded Pein go sleep in the camper with his girl friend. Madara, of course, thought this was something different and smirked at me as I wrapped up in Pein's sleeping bag and scooted as far away from the older Uchiha as possible. He made no comments; however, we were much closer when I woke up then when we went to sleep. Once the trip was over with, it was Sunday night, and hell broke loose.

The secret I had tried to keep was out. It was only natural for Konan to tell Pein about my cutting, find out that Madara had already told Pein and get angry with Madara and yell at him for not telling her, and for Tobi to be listening whilst she chewed Madara out with a fierce intent rolling off her. And if Tobi knows, the whole group, maybe even the school knows, just because the young masked Uchiha did not learn the phrase "keep your mouth shut".

I sat in a sense of paranoia as I watched the sun began to skirt around the tree tops and the sky glittered red, a sign of rain. I hadn't gotten an inch of sleep, my worry to intense for me to even close my eyes. Every time I did, I would imagine their looks of disgust once they found out. My mind began to reel out home made films, creating a detailed situation of what I thought would happen. How they didn't need the emotion baggage that was me, Sakura Haruno. Maybe it was just me being paranoid, but that thought never shook the feeling away.

As the clock next to me hit 6:30, I stood up. I made my way to my bag, where all my clothes were. I dug around until I pulled out some baggy black cargo pants and my under garments. I shifted through my shirts, and had no desire to really wear any of them. Some were dirty and shoved off to the side, and some just didn't seem to catch my attention. Usually, I wouldn't care about what I wore and would throw on anything, whether it was mismatched or not. My eyes slid towards Madara's closet, and I shrugged my shoulders at my silent thoughts and traveled towards his closet. I took one of his long sleeved white button up shirts, and didn't even have to unbutton it to get it on. Pulling my head through the collar, I was happy that I took a shower that night so I didn't have to hassle with it this morning.

Once completely changed, I traveled out to the living room and sighed. Madara still refused to take his bed back, and he now slept on the couch. I kneeled next to the couch, running a brush through my short hair easily as I shook him with my free hand. His eyes cracked open, and he stared at me as I stared at him with a blank face. I stood, his eyes following, "Get up. We need to get ready for school."

He nodded groggily and pushed his body up with quivering arms, having been lying on his stomach. He sat up, sitting with one leg tucked under the other.

I made my way to the kitchen as Madara went down the hall, probably to get some clothes and wake up Tobi. I opened the fridge and pulled out an energy drink I had bought when we stopped at the gas station on our way home from camp site. Hopefully, this would help me wake up a bit, or at least create the allusion that I had some sleep. Sipping at my green Monster, I leaned against the counter as I put toast in the toaster for Madara and Tobi. Even though it was early, school started at eight, and knowing those boys we would barely make it to class.

About fifteen minutes later, Madara trudged into the kitchen clad in black jeans and a crimson t-shirt with black paint splattered on the front. Madara glanced at me, still sipping from my energy drink, and raised an eyebrow, "Is that my shirt?"

I nodded, blinking tiredly as he smirked at me, going for the toast on a plate I handed to him. Madara smirked all through his breakfast, with me staring at the wall blankly as I drank the last of my energy drink. Tobi was silent when he came into the kitchen, and took his plate from me wordlessly. My heart clenched, and I quickly tried to push back the guilt. I knew it was my fault that he was like this.

As we all slid into Madara's car, I wondered why Hidan wasn't coming to pick Tobi up like he normally did. But, Madara made no protests as his brother slid into the back seat, setting his book bag next to him. The silence was eating at me, and apparently it was eating at Madara, too, because his smirk was replaced with a frown. He didn't like his normally abnormal brother being silent either. I put my ear buds in after the first few minutes, the silence driving me nuts. I blasted music to my ear drums, the sound so loud that it actually hurt to listen to. I didn't care, as long as there was no silence.

I saw Madara glance at me; no doubt that he was able to hear my ear splitting music. I only stopped the beat when we pulled into the parking place, my head pounding painfully as I pulled the ear buds out. I wrapped my ear bud wired around my iPod and stuck it in my pocket as we drew near to the rest of the group. My heart began to pound as we drew closer, and I felt sick to my stomach when I saw their faces. Blank.

We stopped next to them, and I was sure all of them could hear my heart beating, for it was thudding loudly in my chest.

I drew in a breath, and tried to protect my self in the only way I could: Push them away.

"I thought you were going to make me tell them," I said, making every one glance up.

Madara answered smoothly, as if he expected this, "I was, but you weren't going to any way. We both know that. Besides, I only told Pein. You told Konan."

My stomach clenched, "I didn't tell her, she saw when I was washing up by the lake."

It fell silent for a moment, before Tobi spoke up, "Why didn't Sakura-chan tell us?"

Push them away, push them away, push them away, push them away, push them away. You'll only hurt them if you let them continue to be in your life. You'll kill them just like you did to your mother. You'll destroy their happiness, and they'll destroy yours.

"I don't trust you," I said, and my heart gave a painful thud. I turned on my heel, and began to walk away, but paused when Hidan spoke.

"That's fucking bullshit and you know it."

I turned around, eyes glazed over in what I hoped looked like angry tears, "What do you mean?"

"You trust us, you just don't want to, yeah," Deidara said quietly.

My fist clenched as my heart still banged painfully against my rib cage; they just would let me go. They were stubborn, like I was, and I felt like we were playing a game of tug-of-war and I was loosing terribly. I needed to get away from them. I could move back in with my father, but just stay away from him, Tohru, and Miki. I would let them live their lives with me just on the side. I would take the shitty bedroom and just pull my self away. It would be the best for everyone.

"If you think we're going to walk away from you, then you're wrong," Konan said, looking me straight in the eye.

I shook my head, "You don't know what you're saying. You have no idea what you're attempting to get into. Just stop now and let me walk."

"But that's not what you want, is it?" Itachi spoke, his voice emotionless as ever as his eyes bore into mine, "You want to stay just as much as we want you to."

My eyes found the ground, and I spoke quietly, "It doesn't matter what you or I want. It's for the best of everyone if I just stay away. I'll only cause you stress. I don't want any of you unhappy because of me."

"So you do care about us," Sasori noted, and my teeth clenched.

"It doesn't matter!" I yelled, and quieted my voice when people looked our way, "It doesn't matter if I care or not, or if you care or not! We can't be friends anymore! If I stay friends with you guys you'll only end up like my mother!"

Konan glanced at me, and said quietly, "I know about your mother's death. That whole rumor about how you said you killed your mother and step father to Karin was true... In a way. Sakura, you aren't really worried about hurting us like you did your mother," Realization flickered in her eyes, "You're worried that if you get close to people, they'll leave. That's why you cut. You think that if you shut yourself off people won't try and talk to you, and that will lessen your chances of interacting with people. That way, you won't get involved."

My breath caught in my throat, and a tear slid from the corner of my eyes. I wiped it away stubbornly, and spoke lowly, "And that's exactly why we can't be friends anymore." And then, I walked towards the school with my hair casting a shadow over my face, as a poor attempt to hide my tears from the rest of the world.

Piper: Sakura's being a tard-muffin.

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