Two days later, Larrin had barely said two sentences to John. It didn't take Rodney McKay to figure out that she blamed him for their losses. Even worse, she cut off all hopes of a relationship with him and went back to calling him Sheppard. Whenever he tried to help out with any of the repairs, she made it abundantly clear that the Travelers neither needed nor wanted his help. Furthermore, once the communications were back online, she made contact with the Daedalus, requesting an ETA so that John could join them. Frustrated by the whole thing, John finally got a hold of their mutual friend Katana, who'd been busy tending to her own repairs. She agreed to meet with him later that day. For now, he did as he'd done since he returned from Katana's ship: sat in his room waiting for Larrin to come by and talk to him.

How could you throw us away so easily? John asked her in his mind as he'd done a hundred times in the last couple days. I thought for sure we had it. That we had what it would take to make it. All that we'd built together in the last month couldn't survive our first fight with the Wraith? If we were this shallow, what were we doing all this time? He had run through the full gambit of emotions, from confusion to hurt, from hurt to anger, from anger to disappointment, and back again.

Looking at the time, Sheppard shook his head to try and clear it, got up, and made his way to bay three. Normally he would have checked in with Larrin to let her know that he was going, but seeing as how she was doing everything in her power to push him away, he didn't even bother. Once in the Jumper, he started his journey to Katana's ship.

As he passed through the space between vessels, John's thoughts took him back to the Ferris wheel ride that he'd worked on just for Larrin. Her face when she thought he was gonna hit her new ship and how it lit up upon seeing the Pegasus galaxy when the Jumper cleared the top of the Tria. Her laughter as she settled into the ride with the others and watching her as she experienced the "thrill of the ride". Her smile of appreciation afterward, along with the kiss. The waves on emotions hit him again. Before they got away from him, he tamped them back down. In a couple more minutes, he'd be on Katana's ship.

Landing in Katana's bay, Sheppard opened the back of his ship to find Katana there. She had a friendly smile on her face when she greeted him. "Colonel Sheppard, welcome back."

"Thank you for meeting me." John realized that he needed to go through the motions of the meet and greet.

"I'd say it's no problem, but that would be a lie. Things are still a little busy here."

Great, John. Interrupt her from her real work. "Sorry for the intrusion." John tried to look sincere.

Katana put her friendly smile back on. "It's an excuse to take a break. How are you doing?" Her concern seemed genuine.

"Physically, I'm fine." John left the rest unsaid. "How are your injured doing?" He really didn't want to get into the real reason why he asked to meet with her.

"They are doing as well as can be expected, Colonel. Your skills in field medicine helped out quite a bit."

"Good." John looked down, from side to side, biting his lower lip. "That's good."

"Colonel Sheppard, why don't you tell me the real reason why you are here?" It wasn't a question. As a matter of fact, he knew that to be the tone she used when she gave an order.

John squirmed. "It's Larrin."

"What about her?" He watched as Katana's face turned to concern.

"It's nothing bad. It's just..." John really didn't know how to phrase it without it sounding horrible.

"She blames you for what has happened to my men. In turn, she has ended your relationship and has all but pushed you out the nearest airlock. Does that sound about right?" Katana wasn't guessing, which meant this was either good or very bad.

Sheppard nodded and looked away, feeling a bit nervous and immature for even bringing it up.

"She already told me." Katana started slowly walking through her vessel's corridors. John fell into step behind her, listening for some insight. "You should know, she also blames herself for being such a push over that you could talk her into a battle where she lost three of my men."

John became aware that Katana might be feeling the same way as Larrin. "Do you feel the same way?"

"No." Katana spoke clearly with no hesitation. "The Wraith Hive ship got in a lucky shot that ultimately led to the deaths of my men, along with several injuries and extensive damage to two ships. But not one bit of that is—or was—your fault. You are an ally, one who was in need a couple of days ago. And we acted as any true ally should when you asked us for help. You even gave us a battle strategy that won the battle despite the luck of the Wraith. Without it, we would not have fared as well as we did." Her praise seemed to pour from her.

"So, you are not angry with me at all?" John still needed some clarification.

"Nope. We are at war with the Wraith. Most wars have casualties." John allowed himself a little relief upon hearing her words. Katana continued, "But, I'm also not in love with you." When John looked back to her with confusion written all over his face, he found Katana's all-knowing smile and eyes waiting for him.

"She loves me?" Sheppard showed his disbelief.

"As surely as you love her." Katana's face didn't even budge.

Accepting Katana's read on them, he asked the next obvious question."Well, if she loves me so much, why did she pushed me way?"

"Because she has irrationally rationalized that, due your companionship, her judgment has been compromised. Remember, she is the leader of our people first."

"But that's not true!" John realized after he said it how desperate he sounded.

"You know that. I know that. And somewhere deep down, she knows that. Give her some time, Colonel Sheppard. She'll come back around." Katana sounded more confident about that than he felt.

"Well, she's already made provision for that." John stated dryly.

"Oh?" Katana seemed very curious.

"Guess she didn't tell you everything. Once communications were back online, she called the Daedalus to find out how much longer I'd be around."

Katana's face dropped. "I'm sorry. I hadn't realized she'd already gone that far."

"Yeah, well, Colonel Caldwell will probably be here soon. I need a favor, if I may impose on you." Sheppard hoped it wouldn't be that much of an imposition.

"What is it?"

John let out a long breath. "I don't know when all this is going to let up with Larrin. I need you to contact me when you all get back to your home world and have made the funeral arrangements for your men. I should be there to pay my respects to their families."

Katana nodded to him. "No problem. I know their families will appreciate your presence there."

"Thank you. Now, I should probably let you get back to work. I need to get back and pack before my ride gets here." John moved to veer down the next corridor, back to the bay.

"Good luck, Colonel Sheppard. We will see you soon." Katana's voice carried through the corridor as John walked away.

;-)

The Daedalus arrived later that day, and John tried to approach Larrin. His reward for his efforts included being chewed out by her and asked why he was still on board. He spent the next week-and-a-half either on the bunk that Caldwell had provided, in the Mess Hall, or in his Jumper in the 302 bay. It didn't matter where he went on the vessel. A memory of Larrin was there to haunt him. By the time they reached Atlantis, John was ready to focus on something else. Maybe Ronon and Teyla will be up for some sparring. When Sheppard parked the Jumper, he found his whole team, along with Mr. Woolsey, Captain Ford, and Doctors Keller and Beckett, waiting for him. He tried to put on his classic smile to cover up how he really felt. Mr. Woolsey was the first to welcome him back with a handshake. "So, was your mission successful?"

"Larrin and the Travelers now have possession of the Tria." John stated matter-of-factly.

"Well done." Richard must have sensed that he needed to be with his team. "I'll look forward to your report." With that, Mr. Woolsey went back to his office.

John spent the next couple hours fielding questions about his leave and all that stuff from his friends. With a little play on words, he was able to gloss over his whole relationship with Larrin as if it were a non-issue.

During the course of the conversation, the team brought him up to speed with their success turning Todd's Wraith alliance into hybrids. It came at a high cost for Teyla, though. Kanaan died during the course of events. Sheppard hated that he hadn't been here for her, especially in light on how his leave ended. She forgave him, of course, but it only served to add to the emotional baggage he already carried.

After the initial reunion, John put enough of the emotions of the last two months behind him to focus on the tasks at hand back on Atlantis.