Disclaimer: None of this is mine, nor will it ever be (sigh). I like to play with the characters that Stephenie Meyers created and make them do pervy things or become angels with a bad attitude.
Chapter Thirteen
EPOV
"Edward, you need to calm down. Threatening to kill Riley will not bring back Bella's ability to bear children," Jasper said, holding up his hands. I growled at him, wanting to throw him out the window. "Okay, poor choice of words."
"I want to rip him to shreds," I snarled. "No man has that right. It's her body."
"And if you rip him to shreds, you'll be recycled and Bella will fade away, becoming one with the darkness," Jasper snapped. "Do you want that? You love her, but you're willing to give up everything to seek revenge. As much as I can't stand you, we need you, Edward. She needs you."
I sobbed, sitting down heavily on the chair in my living room. I thrust my hands into my hair, my heart stammering against my rib cage and Bella's pain radiating through every bone of my body. "You don't feel her like I do. She deserves happiness, love, tenderness, joy … She's gotten nothing but anguish, pain, agony, and misery. It kills me to not be able to fix it. I must fix it. I have to fix it! It's my job as her mate."
Jasper sat down across from me, tentatively reaching out and touching my knee. "I feel the same way about Alice. I understand, Edward."
I jerked away, moving my body and curling up in the chair. I wanted to hold Bella, do everything in my power to heal her, to make her pain dissipate. "I hate feeling so helpless," I whispered. "What can I do? What can I say to help her heal? To show her that she's worthy of love and being loved? This is beyond our powers. Her pain is mental and emotional."
"That's the worst kind," Jasper sighed. "Emotional pain leaves no scars, but is the most challenging to heal. There's no quick fix with our powers. Time, tenderness, patience and love are the only ways to help with emotional pain."
"I'm afraid that no amount of time, tenderness, patience or love will help Bella. Did you hear her story?" I whispered, my voice cracking with emotion.
"Only the verbal part of your conversations," Jasper muttered. "I don't have the mental connection that you and Alice share with Bella."
"You can't read minds?" I asked.
"Only with my humans that I'm responsible for," Jasper explained. "Though, I can begin to hear echoes of Bella's voice. My guess is that because we're protecting her, my "mental" tuning is being adjusted to hear her. But, that's only happened when you were attacked by Lucifer in the school's parking lot. Her mental voice is nearly silent, only brought to my attention when under extreme duress." He stood up and blew out a harsh breath. "We may never be friends, Edward, but I'm sympathetic to what you're dealing with. I also know that you're still healing from your ordeal. You need to get some rest."
"I can't rest until I know she's okay," I choked out. "I need to hold her."
"She needs time," Jasper said. "You know that."
"Yeah," I sighed. "So do I. Can you just go? Thank you for staying with me even though you hate my guts."
"I don't hate you. I don't like you. There's a difference," Jasper snorted. "You broke my Alice's heart."
"I didn't break her heart. I love Alice like a sister. Nothing more," I bit out.
"Jasper, stop being a jerk. I may have been interested in Edward romantically at first, but I never pushed myself on him," Alice snapped. "He's a good man. I've gotten over it. You need to do the same." Jasper growled, turning on his heel and stomping out onto the back patio. He rolled out his wings and took off. "I'm sorry about him, Edward. He's still sore about … you know. World War II?"
"Alice, I'd really like some time alone," I whispered. "I know I need rest. I know I need to eat, but I need her more." Alice hugged me, patting my cheek. I sighed, watching the guest house as the sun dipped below the horizon. Alice left the house and I just continued my usual ritual of watching over Bella as she slept. But, she didn't really sleep. She would doze off and her subconscious would attack, her mind would play her torture on repeat.
After three hours of endless torture, I got up and walked across my yard. Felix was sitting outside of the guest house, whimpering and scratching at the door. "You think you can help her, bud?" His tail wagged and I opened the door. Felix bounded through the foyer and onto the couch. Tenderly, he snuggled next to Bella, who looked shattered.
Her eyelids fluttered open, staring up at me with endless chocolate eyes. I crouched in front of her, caressing her cheek. "I don't pity you, Bella," I said. "I never could. I love you. With my whole heart, I love you."
"How did you know I was …?" she trailed off. "You read my thoughts." Tears welled up and spilled over onto her pale cheeks. "I hate being like this. I'm not okay. I'll never be okay, Edward. And I wasn't kidding that I wanted to end it all. There are days where I still want to." She sat up, scrubbing behind Felix's ears. He snuggled closer, putting his head on her lap. "You'd miss me, pup?" Felix whimpered.
"Bella, don't," I whispered, my heart breaking at her broken voice and empty, agonizing pain within her soul. "Have you considered speaking with someone? A therapist? Psychiatrist?"
"I have, but I can't afford it," she sighed. "Not with my student loans, rent and day-to-day expenses."
"Let me help you," I whispered, cupping her pale cheek. "Let me give you what I can, with my love, support …" Monetary assistance …
Blinking up at me, she stared into my eyes, appraising me. "You really do love me. It's not a weird connection, mate-bond thing."
"The mating bond is a minute part of what I feel for you. Love is the biggest emotion, followed by the overriding need to protect you. Riley is dangerous," I choked out. "If anything happened to you …" I closed my eyes, taking her tiny hands into mine. Her cast was gone and her wrist was completely healed, thanks to Alice. "Bella, stay with me. Stay here. You can have this guest house, but I can't have you go back to your apartment."
"Let me think about it," Bella said. "But, you look like hell, Edward."
"I'm still not a hundred percent," I chuckled. "I need more rest and more food."
Bella stood up, tugging on my hand. "Come, please." I stood up and followed her outside. We walked back to my home, my bedroom. Felix jumped up, his tail thumping. "You're cute, Felix, but we need the bed." Felix harrumphed, hopping off and curling up on the doggy bed in the corner. Bella pushed me into the bed. "Where are your wings?"
"I can retract them. They're hidden beneath my skin," I said, removing my shirt and showing her my winged tattoos.
"The tattoos are great, but I like your wings better," she said, tracing the black ink along my shoulder blades. I rolled my shoulders, allowing my wings to spring from my back. She gasped. "Does it hurt?"
"Unfurling them?" I asked. She nodded, moving in front of me. "No. It feels good. It looks painful, but being able to stretch out the muscles and let them be free, it's comfortable."
Bella bit her lip, crawling into the bed and laying on her side. "Lay with me, Edward. You need to rest."
I slid into the bed, moving closer to Bella. Shrugging my shoulder, I wrapped her closer to me with my wings. "Is this okay?" I asked. "I don't want to presume …"
"I feel safe with you," she whispered, pressing her cheek above my heart. "I'm sorry about bolting." Her voice was slurring and she yawned.
"Shhhh, pretty Bella," I said, tightening my hold around her. "Sleep."
"You, too," she whispered, looking up at me. She crawled up, her lips brushing mine. She stared at me, tracing my lips. "I …" I can't say it, Edward. But … I …
"I know," I whispered, kissing her forehead. "I love you." She didn't respond. I looked down at her and she was resting. Her mind was at peace. "I'll protect you, pretty Bella." My eyes drooped and I drifted asleep, only after I tightened my arms and wings around her.
xx OOTD xx
I woke up suddenly, feeling tremendously better. My body no longer ached and the cold emptiness was gone. Looking down, I saw Bella still in my arms. Her mind was still quiet and she was snuggled closely to me, her nose buried in my neck. I kissed her forehead and ran my fingers through her chestnut curls. She sighed, tightening her arms around me. Her eyes cracked open, blinking slowly and smiling softly up at me. "Good morning," she said, her voice raspy. "Is it morning?"
"It is," I said. "How did you sleep?"
"Very well," she replied, stretching her body against mine. She nuzzled her cheek against my bare chest. "I'm surprised that I'm able to sleep so well with you."
"This is why I want you to stay with me. I can protect you, Bella," I said, sighing against her soft hair.
"I need to think about it. I feel safe with you, but we barely know each other," she murmured. She sat up, frowning as she slid out of the bed. "Excuse me. I need a human moment." She blushed, going into the bathroom.
My cell phone chirped from the nightstand. Picking it up, I saw a text from Alice. While you were resting, Jasper and I snuck into your home. We decorated your house for Christmas. Bella hasn't had a proper Christmas in her entire life. It's a human holiday. It started as a religious holiday, celebrating the birth of His son, but it's morphed into something unrecognizable. But, I want Bella to have a pleasant holiday and feel spoiled for the first time in her life.
Doesn't Christmas involve exchanging of gifts? I asked, tapping my response on the phone.
You're covered. You even got some presents from me and Jasper. We'll be nearby. This will give you and Bella an opportunity to bond as a couple. Merry Christmas, Edward.
I knew what Alice was trying to do. However, I felt somewhat badly about not buying Bella's gifts on my own. I wanted to be the one to spoil her. Stop worrying. I used your credit card and read your thoughts. I know exactly what you wanted. You're going to go prematurely gray.
I was almost two thousand years old. I should be dead. Gray hair is the least of my worries.
Bella came out of the bathroom. "Are you hungry?" she asked, her hair braided over her shoulder.
"I am, but let me take care of you," I smiled. "Why don't you spend some time soaking in the tub?" Alice chirped in my mind, telling me about some clothes she'd purchased for my mate. "I have some clothes that should fit you in my closet. Warm and comfy."
"You don't mind?" she whispered.
I got up, padding to her and tracing her features. "This is my refuge from the real world. I hope you come to think of this in the same way." She smiled, her face morphing into one of abject beauty. My heart stammered beneath my ribs and butterflies attacked my stomach. "I'll make us something to eat and you just relax. Enjoy your vacation." I leaned down, kissing her tenderly before leaving her in the bedroom. I tucked my wings back inside and put on a long-sleeved Henley. Blinking up, I whistled lowly. "You attacked my house with twinkle lights, Alice," I deadpanned. I walked around, liking the decorations that she'd put up. It matched the minimalist, contemporary décor of my home, but gave it a traditional, homey feel. Shaking my head, I went into the kitchen, seeing more decorations.
I made breakfast, cinnamon rolls, and coffee. As I was frosting the cinnamon rolls, Bella walked out, dressed in a pair jeans and one of my shirts. I bit my cheek, watching her as she rolled up the sleeves. "You look beautiful," I blurted out.
"I wouldn't go that far," Bella deadpanned. "The shirts in the closet are too small. Okay, not too small, but I don't like to show off my body, for obvious reasons. I pilfered one of your shirts. You're bigger than me and it smells like you."
"And that smells good?" I asked, chuckling.
"It smells like safety, love, protection, home," she whispered, inhaling the sleeve. "With a touch of Dior Homme." She looked up at me, staring at me through her lashes and a bashful smile gracing her face. "Smells delicious. Do you need help? And when did you put up the decorations?"
"I'm good," I said, pouring the glaze over the cinnamon rolls. "And Alice and Jasper wanted you, us, to celebrate Christmas. When was the last time you celebrated, pretty Bella?"
"Christmas?" she asked, her brows furrowed. "Never. I mean, I'd get presents from the kids at school, but it's just another day."
"Well, today, we're celebrating. You deserve a holiday," I smiled. I cut out a cinnamon roll and put it onto a plate, pushing it toward Bella, along with a cup of coffee. "My goal is to give you the best Christmas ever."
"You've already done that, Edward," she sniffled, blinking up at me. "By taking care of me, loving me, when others never cared to, you've made all of my dreams come true."
"No tears, pretty Bella," I said, capturing a lone tear as it traveled down her cheek. "Today's a happy day. You get presents." She laughed, beaming up at me. "It's true."
"You're so adorable, Edward," she murmured, sliding off the stool and kissing my cheek. "And as soon as I'm able, I'll repay you in kind."
"No repayment needed, Bella," I said, snaking my arm around her slender waist. "This is just for you. My gift is being able to share this with you. That's all that matters." I pushed the cinnamon roll closer to her. "Eat up. Today is a day of laughter, love and fattening foods."
"And presents," she giggled. Bella ran her finger along my jaw. Her mind was blank but her heart was full. "Merry Christmas, Edward."
"Merry Christmas, Bella," I sighed, grinning crookedly. I leaned down, kissing her lips and pushing my thoughts to her mind. I love you. She melted, hugging me and her heart beating in tandem with mine.
A/N: Up next will be the continuation of their Christmas celebration. Will Bella ever be able to say those three words to him? Pictures of the inspiration for Edward's Christmas décor are on my blog. Link for that is on my profile. You can also find me on Facebook: Tufano79's Twilight Fanfiction Appreciation. Twitter, too: tufano79.
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