Training a psychic power was no less harrying than a physical one. Erik had previously tried to understand just what Charles could do, how he had learned shields and all the neat little tricks he could do – "Tricks? I'm hardly a circus act, Erik." – but only now did he understand. Well, a little more than before. Since he wasn't a telepath he didn't have those abilities and his training was different.
It still left him with headaches, if he was lucky, or migraines, if he was really unlucky. Most of the time he thought he was unlucky.
Trying to sink his fingers into his skull to claw his brains out, Erik sat hunched over in the study, trying to breathe normally, trying not to let the tears fall. He was aware of Charles close by, of the gentle presence that could be sharp and cutting and lethal if he wanted to be. Finally it approached and he tried not to flinch back, instead throwing up a shield as he had learned to do in the past few days. It was nothing but brittle paper that evaporated under the first touch.
::Erik:: Charles murmured.
No pain, just comfort. A gentle, loving presence that soothed and warmed, cooled and relaxed him.
"Fuck," he breathed, falling against the slender form that was next to him.
Fingers slid between his, pulling the clawed fingers away from his skull. The touch was like water, flowing everywhere, just the right temperature in all the right places, taking the pain and leaving only drowsy exhaustion.
::Too much:: Charles told him.
But he had to learn it! part of him insisted. Pain had always been his best teacher. Pain and fear. It had amalgamated into rage and his powers had exploded out of him, taking all he had and doing whatever he wanted.
::That's not how it works:: Charles said, repeating what he had said before.
Erik steadied his breathing, feeling memory snippets, thoughts, from Charles and from him, passing through his mind.
Charles wasn't Shaw. He didn't train through pain and fear. He didn't want agony to be the trigger to greater power. This wasn't about releasing a gift through the terror of death and the pain of metal cutting into his skin.
::You are strong, Erik:: the telepath murmured. ::You have a strong, trained mind. A lot stronger than any other non-telepath I met::
And almost everyone was non-telepathic. Some were empaths, like Hayes.
::Maybe you have a faint predisposition toward empathy or telepathy. But you're not gifted like that. And creating shields is consuming. It needs finesse::
Like shaping metal. Not hauling big pieces around but the manipulation of tiny needles, coin, paperclips, right down to the sub-atomic level. Charles believed he would master that one day, too.
Erik opened his eyes and found he lay with his head in Charles' lap, his lover's fingers carding through his hair, one hand resting on his chest as if to measure breathing and heartbeat. It was a comfortable, relaxing position to be in and Erik felt unable to get up. He was too tired, mentally and physically exhausted, and to his dismay he felt his hands shake.
"You went above and beyond what I thought you would do," Charles told him.
"Did I hurt you?" Erik asked, voice scratchy and rough.
"No."
He tried to look into the other mind, clawing his way along the anchor line to make sure. Charles radiated fondness.
"I'm really fine, Erik. I apologize dearly for doing what I did, though. You startled me with your last maneuver."
Satisfaction coursed through him. He had been thinking of a way to do in his mind what he did physically when he took the metal around him, shaping it to his will and using it as he saw fit. In the physical world he could force any kind of ore to do what he wanted, flow, bend, knot, elongate, shape whatever he wanted it to be… even into shields. So he did just that. He imagined the molecules in his mind and shaped something of a defense.
"Worked, hm?" he triumphed, though it was a triumph with a hefty price.
"Only too well."
"Whatcha do, Charles?"
"I reversed your attack and hit you fully before I realized just how intensely you had bound yourself to the blow."
"My mistake then. Needs work."
Charles laughed softly, sounding tired and just a little on the scared side as well. He leaned over the tousled dark head and kiss Erik's hair.
"Probably. A lot. But you did beautifully and you did something unexpected."
"'Gotcha' is in order." His eyes slid shut and he felt the thrum of the headache intensify again. "Damn."
Charles brushed cool finger tips over his skin and the thrum lessened. "No more for today. Your mind needs to recover."
Erik wanted to protest, wanted to tell Charles that he could take it, that he was up for another round, but a part inside him whimpered and curled up, glad it was over. That part was eyeing the anchor line, wanting Charles close, and his partner slid closer, wrapping himself around the raw open wound that was Erik Lensherr's mind.
x x x x x
Matters didn't really improve.
Actually, any kind of positive development would have been time to celebrate.
Instead, Erik couldn't remember a day when he didn't go down whenever he thought he had this figured out, and it didn't really take Charles much of an effort.
Even the rage didn't help. There had been two more communications with the twins and Charles had looked pale and in pain each time, suffering from their razor-sharp way of cutting into his mind while talking. Erik had tried to be there, had tried to shield, but had gotten a migraine for his efforts and had actually been knocked out completely for a while and had come to looking into the worried yellow eyes of Hank and facing the scowl that was Reaper.
He had ignored her, as he so often did.
Charles hadn't been anywhere, but he had found him later in their room, on their bed, doped up to his gills with pain meds and the room cast in darkness.
He silently slipped inside after toeing off his shoes, padding over on socked feet. Charles' eyes were closed, his breathing more or less regular. Now and then it hitched as another wave hit him, as his head threatened to explode, and Erik sat down next to the bed. He didn't want to jostle his lover by sitting on the mattress.
"Don't be foolish," came the soft whisper.
He looked into the pale face only inches away from him. "Stop talking. Relax."
A soft sigh escaped the dry lips. "Erik."
He felt a gentle touch, fragile and feather-light. Charles was partially numbed by the medication, but no pills would ever be able to dull or completely eradicate such a backlash. He received a thready image and smiled, reaching out and pushing the limp hair out of the forehead.
"Sleep," he murmured. "I'll be here."
Charles mumbled something, but he did doze off.
x x x x x
Charles was reasonably awake and alert the next morning after having slept for most of the day and all night. He looked more like one of the walking dead, though. Still he insisted to hold his classes, which he more or less managed without zoning out. It was a sign of how much the students respected their professor that they silently did their work and tried not to stress him too much.
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xx x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xx x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xx x x
Erik had no idea how Charles was juggling administration, teaching and their training. Well, he did. Charles worked hard, slept little and their personal time together was reduced to falling into bed at night – if they even slept in the same bed. One or another of the students or teachers had found Charles dozing with his head on his desk, over papers and notes, or asleep on the couch, the TV or radio on.
It wouldn't do. It couldn't be the solution to it all. Charles was trying to do too much in too short a time.
"You can't be everywhere all the time, Charles."
"I already missed a lot of work, Erik."
"Which was your own fault," he told him emotionlessly.
The telepath sighed and rubbed one temple.
"Let the others pick up your classes, Charles. Reaper, Hayes and Blu are all seniors. Azazel and Riptide can pick up some slack. I know Riptide enjoys teaching and he can do more than one or two classes."
"Our training isn't the most time consuming, Erik."
"But it stresses your mind and makes you useless for everyday matters," came the level reply. "Who do you want to turn the school over to? Moira?"
Charles shook his head. "No. But I've been thinking of handing over the more… complex book-keeping to an old family friend."
"Do it," Erik only said.
"You don't want to double-check his background?"
He chuckled. "I will. Later. For now I'd be happy to see you relax again. I know the twins are on your mind, literally. You know I hate it and that the training is very important to me. But so are you. You're the most important part in my life, Charles."
The expression in Charles' face was worth it. The wonder and love.
"And the success to anything this big is delegation. Let others handle their share. It took three years to get this running and I'm proud to be part of it. You have help for the house and grounds already. Now a book-keeper. Find someone to share being the headmaster of this place."
Blue eyes opened, sparkling with an almost evil light. Erik back-pedaled mentally and suddenly cursed.
"I love you volunteering, Erik," came the smooth reply.
"I'm not headmaster material, Charles."
"You've been doing it for a while now. Five years, actually. Now we make it official."
Erik smirked. "Do I get a ring, honey?"
Charles laughed. "If you insist, love."
Placing his hands left and right on the armrests, he leaned over the other man and kissed him softly. "Well, Professor, you have an assistant professor now. I get to kick your ass a new way now, too."
The sparkle turned mischievous. "Looking forward to it. As for the ring…"
Erik sealed their lips together. ::Don't you dare, Charles Xavier!" The warmth suffusing him had Erik almost gasp. ::I love you:: he thought.
So very much.
x x x x x x
By the end of the next day Erik and Reaper had hammered out a new schedule with new teachers. The faculty was now expanded to former students, like Reaper and Hayes, who had only spent two years learning here at all and mostly only trained their powers. Hank still taught computer sciences and mathematics. Reaper's classes encompassed biology and all life sciences. Raven would be her assistant teacher. Hayes had grinned when she had read over hers. Finances, economics and consumer law were right up her alley, though she had always been on the other side of the law. Erik, with his affinity for languages, decided that French, Spanish and German would help the students. Azazel kept close combat and fencing. Alex and Banshee would be the student liaisons, especially for the younger kids. Riptide had surprised them when he had volunteered for music and art classes, as well as substituting for Spanish.
"He could have asked sooner," the elemental mutant simply remarked.
"You could have offered," Erik snapped.
It got him a raised eyebrow. Erik hissed softly. Riptide just leaned back in his chair, looking over the schedule. He made a few notes.
"We can make this work," Reaper said calmly. "The students understand the changes. It gives Charles the freedom he needs to do what he does best." She smiled at Erik. "As for talking with the mutants still out there: one at a time and one after another. Charles has to sort through what he has and we go out. All of us seniors. We can make this work, like a real school now."
Erik felt a weight lift off his shoulders. It would give Charles a lot more freedom to run this place.
Reaper squeezed his shoulder when they left the meeting room. "We should have done this sooner, not waited until now when things are almost too much. You take care of him. Your training is important, for both of you."
Erik gave her a real smile, warm and thankful.
x x x x x x
Charles was speechless when they presented him with the changes that would start with the spring semester, staring at Erik, his new assistant headmaster, and his complete faculty.
"No arguments," Erik simply said. "The school needs this. It needs you in charge, not running off everywhere at once and trying to do it all without help."
::So I'm superfluous now?:: Charles teased telepathically.
::You'll never be. You're the most important part of this whole project.::
"Thank you, everyone," Charles said out loud. "I appreciate what you're doing for the school."
"For you, Professor," Hayes said, smiling gently. "You showed us there are more of us. You gave us a chance. This school can give that chance to many more."
Erik briefly touched his lover's back as he felt the emotions lap against his own mind. Charles was truly deeply touched.
"And it has to be a school," Reaper added. "Not just teaching them how to handle their powers. Teaching them about themselves and the world, too."
"We've got this," Azazel agreed, one corner of his mouth lifting into smirk. "You get the rest straightened out."
The twins. Shadowside Creek. Their work on shields.
Charles nodded. "We will. Thank you. Again."