(9,807 words) God, I haven't updated this in so long, I'm sorry, I've been concentrating on REI, and just plainly not writing much. I hope this big chapter makes up for it (well, big for me at least).

Hope you enjoy, nya

Deceiving Love

Chapter 14: Hopelessly clueless

The following days after the rumour of the serial killer got out, it spread throughout the town like wildfire. Some were disturbed and disgusted; some were shocked; some thought it was a joke to scare people at night and laughed at it.

All Serah knew was that it made her sick.

She wanted to get away from everyone, so she'd hear nothing, but no matter who she went near everybody was talking about it. Even when she was teaching the kids would be discussing it between themselves, some would ask her what she thought of it. She was beginning to have to repeat herself. She wanted to hear nothing of it. She didn't have to give a reason; lucky for her others shared that opinion, of course for far different reasons to her. People would go ahead and think the very thought of a serial killer must scare her terribly. People were still scared they'd be hurt by them even when the rumour included that she only killed bad people, like she was a messed up vigilante.

Only Ari killed bad people so her other half wouldn't feel as bad. Innocent people scream so much more, and because it was so pointless, taking their lives was always a lot more fun.

It was needless to say, that no one suspected her, and that was also a reason why she wanted all this talk of the killer to stop. It was stupid that no one had figured out something so obvious, if they hadn't caught her already, then they were looking in the wrong places. Who was to say it was someone who was an openly bad person? Why couldn't it be a good person who was lying to all those around her? She was sure that someone in the GC must have figured this out by now, but it had to be the minority, and they were unable to convince their fellow soldiers. Thinking into it, convincing them would be tough, not many people in New Bodhum had an appearance like Arianna, there was her of course, but no one in their right minds was going to suspect her. Her older sister was in the GC, and her fiancé had helped build New Bodhum. People were going to judge her by what people she knew, and sadly, that made it near impossible for her to become a suspect.

A breeze blew through the grass that surrounded her, bringing her back to reality. She'd been napping on a path of grass close to the beach. She should still be teaching by this time, but she had ended things early, all the kids had been going on about the killer. She'd tried to get them to stop since she couldn't take it anymore, but they wouldn't. Things would be fine for a minute or so each time she told them to keep quiet, but then they'd start up again. They would always start up again. So she told them things were over for today, and sent them away. If their parents complained, she would tell them the truth; that she didn't want to hear any of the killer crap anymore for it was making her sick, well, minus the crap part; she had no intention to be rude about it.

Sitting up, Serah inspected her surroundings; she decided to see if it'd help her tell her vaguely what time of day it was. She didn't see many people about; it was an especially hot day so most people would be inside. No houses needed fixing today; she knew Snow and the NORA members were back at home. Lightning would be working, as usual. Serah thought she worked too much, but Lightning herself probably didn't overly care, she was calmer at work rather than when she was not.

She spotted a group of kids playing by the water, she could tell that there was a kid down there that she did not recognise, or at least did not know well; it was hard to make out details at this distance. They certainly weren't one she taught, all the others were. She could only see two other people, two girls possibly a few years younger than her wetting their feet by the edge of the water. The people themselves gave her no hint of what time it would be, but when she looked up at the sky the position of the sun hinted somewhere past noon, possibly between two and three. She used to be better at telling the time using the sun, but it wasn't a skill she particularly needed, and thus had lost skill at it.

She yawned and stretched her arms, as she was stiff from lying on the ground for so long. She thought she had perhaps fallen asleep around noon or so. The others may be wondering where she was, though it wasn't uncommon for her to hang around the beach, it was calming, and she didn't have to talk to anyone. Serah hopped up and headed back, she'd get sunburned if she stayed here for much longer, she did have partial shade from an overhanging tree branch, but that wasn't good enough to stay perfectly fine.

As she started up the steps she heard Snow talking to someone, she didn't recognise the voice right off, but was definitely certain she'd heard it before. Still, it took her quite by surprise when she reached the top, and saw sitting opposite Snow at one of the tables, was Sazh.

"Eh?" Was the only sound she could form.

"Ah, Serah, long time no see." Sazh greeted her, "Just decided I'd come over for a visit." He smiled at her. She knew he lived a fair way away, so it wasn't exactly easy to come to visit, even when the way he sound it made it seem otherwise.

"Hn, long time no see." She smiled back, she still wasn't over her surprise, but she didn't have to show that. She was happy to see him, even if her main reason was that he'd have other things to talk about besides the blasted serial killer.

"Were you sleeping on the grass again?" Snow asked, she looked at him funny for coming to that conclusion so fast.

"And why do you ask?"

"Because there's grass in your hair." He admitted.

"Ah!" She exclaimed and searched through her hair to find it. When she did she pulled it out and tried to throw it outside, but having practically no weight, it got caught in what little wind there was by the door and went in the opposite direction. She frowned at it but didn't care too much; the wind would sweep it out eventually. Forgetting about it she took the remaining seat at the table which Sazh and Snow were sitting at and asked,

"So what have you been up to since we last saw you?" She knew she was probably interrupting them by doing this, but she was scared that their previous topic had been the one she'd been avoiding. It was just a feeling she had.

"Oh not much. Life's just been getting back to normal for us. Dajh has been attending school for a while now. I've managed to secure a decent job. It's a little hard over where we are, some people haven't been able to accept that they can't go back to Cocoon, and there are some settlements near ours that haven't been able to deal with Pulse. You have no idea how hard it is constantly being bugged about all the Pulsian things people manage to find where I'm at. They keep asking me, what is this and what is that, and honestly I haven't the slightest clue. They'll figure out eventually that my knowledge is practically identical to theirs. I'm hoping that time is soon. " He laughed it off, "I do think they'd be better off asking Hope, he's younger than me, he probably remembers it all a lot better than I do"

Serah gave a small laugh, "Yeah, he probably does."

Since the fall two years ago, Sazh, Dajh and Hope had stayed at the main settlement, where people had first started living on Pulse. They helped as much as they could, but as Sazh had already pointed out, there was little they could do as his and Hope's knowledge of Pulse was still very small. It'd been when other settlements begun that Serah, Lightning, Snow and NORA had left. It's been just over six months since the fall. This was the first time they'd gotten to see Sazh since then. He looked about the same as he had then; the two years had done nothing to him. Serah reckoned she looked older than she had, but being one of the youngest that wasn't surprising.

"So what have you been doing? This place seems to be thriving compared to a lot of the settlements I've seen. They were tiny places, the people are probably going to have to move to a larger settlement or they won't survive."

She would have replied, but Snow beat her to it. "I heard a couple stories about that happening. A small group that came around five months ago left the one they had been at because they were failing to get any food. The lady that was with them said her baby had died of starvation."

Serah remembered the lot he spoke about, she hated seeing that woman about, whenever she looked at the children she would have this faraway look, you could see on her face she'd be wondering 'if only', it was so sad.

If only she hadn't been so reckless as to join a small settlement in a bad place. There was no way they'd even manage to secure food. It was idiocy on her part. Ari pointed out, but Serah shut her up immediately, she didn't want to talk to her right now, she was sick of hearing of her deeds.

"No one here has been under threat of starvation yet," Snow begun, "There's plenty of food out here, and the cliff walls around the beach keep out most of the fiends. There's an open area near the end of New Bodhum, away from the beach. We've had to put guards around there to help stop them from getting through, some manage to, but nobody's been injured yet."

"A few have been injured back at the main settlement. But it's a much more open area so it's not surprising. You guys would only really be under threat if some big great monster crawled out of the sea." Sazh chuckled. It was a joke; he didn't expect something as insane as that to happen.

"So anyway, what've you guys been getting up to?" He'd already asked it, but they'd gotten a little off track.

"Me and NORA have just been helping out around the place. Helping build new houses and fixing ones that have broken. Nothing much really, Lightning has just gone business as usual, doing some GC stuff. Serah has been teaching, I reckon she's pretty good at it." Serah blushed as her name was mentioned, she hadn't expected to be pulled back into the conversation.

"Teaching eh?" Sazh raised an eyebrow and looked her way. "Hmm, I guess I could see you as a teacher."

"You're one of the first people to say that you know." Serah laughed; a quiet laugh. "It's funny; though I am just about the only person I know who went to their last year at high school. I know Snow stopped at year ten since there wasn't really a point to go the last two years, most people I met have said that. It's not like they're mandatory. Sis joined the Guardian Corps instead of finishing."

"Didn't you say she didn't finish year ten?" Snow asked off-handily, it wasn't something he was too curious about, just something that he had remembered now that they were on subject.

"Oh yeah." Serah mumbled, it was a fact that had skipped her mind.

"Hmm, what's this about?" Sazh questioned.

"Ah, about how Sis didn't finish year ten, well, actually she didn't go to it either. She stopped attending after year nine. After she turned sixteen she entered the guardian corps and that was that really."

Sazh stared at her for a moment with a quizzical expression, "Wouldn't there be a space of a couple months between the end of year nine and her turning sixteen? What was she doing in between?"

Serah paused and thought, "That's always been a concern of mine." She sighed outwardly, "I've tried to ask, but I'm yet to get an answer, I don't really expect one anymore." There was a short gap between speaking, before she realised they were waiting for her to say more, but she decided it was best to change the subject, they weren't going to get anywhere with the one they were on with such a lack of information.

"So uh, Sazh," She stuttered as she thought of what to say. "Did you bring Dajh with you?"

The man smiled, "Of course I did; I wouldn't leave him alone. There was a group of kids close to here a while ago, so he left to play with them. They were down by the shore last time I saw them."

"Oh, he was probably with the kids I saw earlier. I knew one of them wasn't someone from their group, but I'd been too far away to make out any details." She hadn't even notice the difference in skin tone. Though she doubted she would have realised who it was even if she had been able to, Dajh being the youngest would look the most different. He should be about eight now.

"They looked like they were having fun." Serah allowed herself a small smile, she said it mostly to herself, but if Sazh took it as if it was directed to him she didn't mind.

Again there was a small gap in the conversation. Serah didn't like gaps, they allowed her to start thinking about different things and she never liked doing that, it didn't help that she wasn't in a particularly good mood. She tried to think up something to say when the silence begun to bug her, she was annoyed when she couldn't think anything up but was happy when Snow ended the silence by asking Sazh a question.

"So why's Hope not with you? Why didn't he come too? He'd want to visit too wouldn't he?"

"Oh yeah, forgot to mention that. Bartholomew got into an accident. Nothing too bad, but he's in the hospital with a couple broken bones, so Hope didn't want to leave. I told him that he's worrying too much, but it didn't change his mind."

"That's too bad then." Serah remarked.

"He'll probably regret it later. It's not exactly easy to come out here is it?" Snow laughed, "Otherwise we would have seen you sooner."

Sazh nodded; a small grin present on his face. "Hmm." He looked like he was going to say more, so the other two didn't speak up. Serah decided she would say something when it appeared he was only thinking about something, possibly lost in the thought. But before any words could leave her mouth he spoke.

"You know, I heard a disturbing rumour while I was coming over here. I was wondering if either of you have heard it too."

Dread gathered in the pit of Serah's stomach, it didn't take an idiot to know what was coming, but she really didn't want to hear it. It took her all not to have an outside reaction, but she knew she still appeared concerned over the topic. When she looked over to Snow she knew he had come to the same conclusion she had. He'd heard about the killer.

"Two guys I walked past on my way here said something about a killer, a serial killer at that. Do you know anything about it?" He sounded troubled, no surprise really, it wasn't a nice thought.

Snow nodded. "Yeah, Gadot told me a little while back. Apparently there's a girl running about killing people, it started as a rumour among the GC, so it kinda makes me think that it's true. I don't know much about it, but they said she's only been killing bad people, like a messed up vigilante. She's supposedly very young too, twenty at most I got told. Gadot said she's killed about ten or twelve."

Serah looked down as he spoke, she already hated hearing it; it was even worse coming from him. He was the last person she wanted to know about it, and though it made Ari giggle, it made her sick. He sounded disgusted, like this girl was the worst person in existence. It was a harsh reminder to the fact that: she was insane.

She decided immediately that she needed to leave, before she made herself literally sick.

"God, twelve? Worse than I thought. That's horrible, any leads? There's got to be isn't there, this place isn't huge." Sazh looked horrified, to say the least.

"None, not many people here fit her appearance. And any that do don't make any sense, I heard some GC were going to interview a few girls who did fit, but their family's flipped out at the idea of a member of their family being a murderer and the GC got forced to quit."

Serah lifted up her hand to push her chair back, only to realise she was shaking, and not just a little. She bit her lip; she'd failed to keep it all inside.

"Serah? Why are you…?" She heard Snow say; when she looked up to him he looked very worried. She was confused for a moment but then guessed it was because of the shaking, but then she felt wetness on her face. She put a hand to her cheek and realised, she was crying. She hadn't even remotely noticed.

"Are you alright?" Snow asked; the same worry that had been on his face laced his words. Of course he'd be worried, he had no idea what was going around in her head, if he did, he wouldn't want to be anywhere near her.

"I'm sorry." She said, almost too quick to make out, before she pushed her chair back, stood up, and raced out the door, hoping he wouldn't follow.

Her tears stopped almost as soon as they'd started, but she knew you could tell that she'd been crying if you were too look at her. The shaking didn't stop no matter how hard she tried to calm herself. She felt so sick, like she was going to puke her guts out any moment. Only she knew she wouldn't. It was all in her head; it was unlikely she'd actually be sick. She didn't want to hear it, not a word, nothing. She hated Arianna; she wished she would just disappear. Every day since she was fifteen she'd wished that. It never happened; she was beginning to give up on it.

Serah's pace remained at a fast walk as she went across the beach. If Snow had followed her she wanted to put distance between them. If he had he would catch up eventually, if she didn't find a place to hide first. She didn't know where she could go though, beyond the dilapidated house past the edge of New Bodhum. She didn't want to talk to anyone, and no one risked going near there. But she feared Mel might be there, that was a problem. She had no idea where on earth she had gotten off to, no one did half the time. She had a good feeling that it was the run-down house she was heading too. Serah herself rarely ever dared to go there in the day time, lest someone see her. Mel didn't care whether someone did or not.

After a moment's thought, she decided to go there anyway, even if Mel did happen to be there, she would just ignore her. So she walked along to the edge of the beach, or at least the part with houses upon it. Only a percentage of the beach had houses dotted along its edge, beyond there the sand became incredibly bumpy, it'd be a stupid idea to build along it. There was a ramp that led up to a higher ground; it was a wide ramp, so many could cross at a time. No one passed her though as she crossed it. The area that the ramp was connected to was the main part of New Bodhum, where instead of the buildings being built like large houses, they were apartment buildings so as to fit more people. Most of the population lived here, though it wasn't as safe as the beach for it was more open. This was both the area where Ari had done all the killing, and the area where the GC was set up. Patrols on the beach were uncommon, and problems occurring there was also uncommon, so the only reason people ever saw the uniform in that part of New Bodhum was because two GC members happened to live there.

This took longer to get passed, for it was a larger area, but soon enough Serah found herself at the edge of town. Usually soldiers would be set up, making sure no fiend got in. But as fiends found ways to sneak in, she always found ways to sneak out. There were a few openings; they differed depending on the time of day. In the day time there was a marvellous opening that led straight to an area where hills dominated. They weren't large, but if you stuck close to the ground you could use them to get by completely undetected. The fact this area was not guarded during the day was insanely stupid, but it was probably the reason why Mel trusted going out in the day time so often.

After a quick look around just to make sure no one was around and could see her, she left the cover of the buildings and entered the hills, using them for new cover. Even when still inside New Bodhum she made sure to make as little people as possible spot her without looking suspicious. People knowing what direction she was going in was a hint after all. No one but Mel was allowed to know that she hid out in the building outside the edge of town. In the basement were the outfits and such she wore when she let Arianna out to play. It was evidence.

The walk to the building didn't take long but she was glad she reached it when she did; she really wanted to get inside. It was hot outside and she was about to drop. She opened the door slowly and took a look inside, she was quite happy to find it empty. She took a step in and closed the door behind her. Sighing, she sat with her back to the wall.

Peace and quiet. The wall was cold, it was refreshing. For a moment, she was calm, until she remembered why she came out here in the first place.

Avoiding talk of Ari. Of course no one knew it was her, and only a few members of the Guardian Corps knew of the name Arianna, and that wasn't even her real name. If they had enough information available, they'd be able to trace the name Arianna to CRESCENT. She was sure they would have heard about it. Only she knew what information they could possibly have on a CRESCENT agent name Arianna would be too old, the age wouldn't link up. Her mother Luna had used the name before her, she'd stolen it off the woman Serah had heard her arguing with years ago in the kitchen of her old house. She was sure the woman was her aunt, but she'd never admitted to it. She'd spoken with the woman a few times since then, but they mostly ended with an argument, or like once or twice, an attempt on the woman's life. She didn't care much for her own life Serah had found. She was depressed because she couldn't stop her sister from sinking deeper, and even more so because she couldn't stop Luna from bringing her daughter into the darkness with her.

She did like Serah better than Luna though, because she had at least done one good thing. When Luna had made Serah join CRESCENT, it wasn't only her that she wanted, she tried to make both her daughter's join. But though Serah didn't fully understand the situation, she knew that CRESCENT had something to do with the argument she'd heard in the kitchen, which at that point had only been a week or so before. She knew it was bad, but she and her sister couldn't get out of it. She'd begged her mother to make it only her, to leave her sister out of it. She had said that she would try twice as hard to make up for it. Luna had agreed, but only because her begging wouldn't stop. To be frank, she had never cared for Serah, not at all. She was weak; that was apparent even when she was little. Her big sister Claire showed the qualities that Luna desired. She was disappointed when she wasn't allowed to put them to use.

Serah felt sick when she thought about how much Lightning loved her parents, when their mother had felt love for neither of them. She'd seen them as tools, and was upset whenever she had to look at her older daughter. And it was because she had been a good person, because as a child she had been the nicest person ever. It was probably why their father had adored her so. Serah felt like he knew something was wrong with her, so he'd built a wall between them. He still loved her and she still adored him, even more than her sister did because of the negative way she viewed her mother. But there was a distance between them, one that couldn't be crossed. Claire had been both their parent's favourite. With their dad that was understandable, but Serah was hurt that it ran true for their mother as well. She spent so much effort trying to please her, while she was training to be a CRESCENT agent, she would always beat the other trainees. It was obvious early on that her mental capabilities surpassed the others, but it was also obvious that her physical prowess could not compare. That was her mother's problem with her, even if she could beat the others at tests of skill; it was only because she had spent hours until she was past exhaustion to manage it.

She had learnt hundreds of skills of survival, learnt human psychology and human anatomy near perfectly, learnt how to kill people in countless different ways, and most of all twisted her mind until she could no longer tell right from wrong. And it was all for her, for her mother, a woman who didn't even care. She was never happy with the results. It was all for nought.

Sometimes she was sad that she hadn't died more violently. It wasn't even Ari who thought that, she honestly thought that. She had gone through so much, for absolutely nothing. For a woman who after everything still favoured her sister even after all that. She hadn't done anything to please her; in fact what she'd done should've angered her. If she'd still been alive when Lightning had joined the Guardian Corps, she would have been vehemently against it.

Returning to reality, Serah shuffled down so she could lie down on the ground.

She was so sick of everything.

Letting the arrow fly, it landed on the edge of the yellow. Serah let a smile cross her face, in just over a week she had improved so much.

Her mother had made her join CRESCENT a few months back, initially they'd been teaching her strange things, well, she saw them as strange. All the adults seemed to think they were perfectly normal. She'd been told they were assigned by different sources to kill people. The adults dodged saying 'kill' most of the time, each had their own way of saying it. For some it was take down, for others it was get rid of, for her mother and the weird black haired woman that she followed all the time it was assassinate. She thought it was a cool sounding word, she hadn't heard it before until her mother had said it to her.

After her and the other trainees had been taught some basic facts as to what CRESCENT does, the adults had decided to begin teaching them skills. For the last month she had been taught how to survive in difficult situations, in case she was ever trapped in one. They had also decided to improve her aim. This was for the ranged weapons she would eventually come to use as an agent. CRESCENT made use of guns, but didn't allow trainees to handle them early on. This was because their trainees tended to be small children most commonly aged between six and ten. Serah being only four was the smallest of all of them. The recoil of a gun would certainly hurl them back, so to teach them better aim without one, they would use a bow and arrows. Targets would be set up a fair distance away, and the better the trainee got the more different the target. The adults would give them targets of different shapes, and at differing distances.

It had only been a week since the current set of trainees had started with the arrows. Most could get on the yellow, or near it, each time. Serah was pleased with herself for being the third to hit yellow. The two who'd accomplished it before her were much bigger than her. One was a big scary boy, he was only six, but was the tallest out of the trainees. The other was a black haired girl named Melissa, she was seven. Supposedly she was Crescent's daughter, but she was sure that was only a rumour. They shared the same colour hair, but the physical difference was too great beyond that. Serah thought that she was very interesting, instead of being raised in a seemingly normal household like her and the others, she was being raised in a sanctum facility. This unfortunately meant that she wasn't allowed as much training time, but even so she surpassed everybody else. Serah, at that time, had liked her, she wanted to go up and talk to her, but she seemed so scary because she always had this dead serious look in her eyes.

After glancing over at her, she fitted another arrow onto the bow, aimed, and let it go. It was closer to the centre than before, but still not good enough. So far she'd only hit bullseye twice. She needed to hit it close to all the time; otherwise she couldn't take a step up.

She was about to load another arrow when she heard the unmistakable clacking of high heels hitting the ground, and it was getting closer. Curious, she turned around to see her mother standing behind her, observing the other trainees abilities to shoot.

"Mamma!" Serah smiled broadly, let the bow drop to the ground and ran up to her, hugging her legs happily.

"Oi!" Her mother looked down at her, frustrated. "Serah! What did I tell you? Keep your attention on what matters, why'd you stop?" She sounded angry, so her daughter shrunk away a bit.

"But I haven't you seen in heaps long." She sobbed. For the past week the parent of another trainee had been driving her here during the morning when her father was at work. She hadn't seen her mother once.

"And? Concentrate, don't get distracted!" She shook her leg free of Serah's grasp, knocking her to the ground. "Go; let me see how you're doing."

Serah took a second to get over the pain of hitting the ground as hard as she did, then nodded and excitedly ran over to her bow and picked it up. She could show her how much she'd improved; it was a chance to impress her. She really wanted that, maybe then she'd stop being so mean to her.

She fitted the arrow to the bow, aimed once more, and let it fly. It hit on the edge of the yellow.

"The bow's hard to hold, but I'm getting used to it," She grinned, "See, I can hit the yellow now!" She pointed to it cheerfully.

Her mother nodded, her lips pursed. "Hmm, I see that. But you still need to improve. Yes, you hit the yellow, but can you hit the centre?" She was using a serious voice, Serah didn't like hearing it, but at least she wasn't being mean.

"Well, I have hit it."

"Try to hit it now, in front of me." Her mother ordered. Serah nodded and tried just that.

She had been trying to get a bullseye this whole time, but she was scared to disappoint her. She loaded another arrow, took extra care with the aiming, and let go. To her surprise, it hit dead centre.

A broad grin took over her features and she gasped, "I did it, I did it!"

Again, her mother's response was a small nod. "Hmm, yes. Tell me when you can hit bullseye with every go. Then that's an accomplishment, don't get so excited over something so little. It's stupid. Oh and-" She kneeled down to be level. "You're taking too long to aim, especially with the last go. Try to cut it in half at least. At this rate if you had a moving target they'd get you before you even had a chance to get them. You don't need to put so much time into it, look where you want the arrow to go, and it will go there, got it?"

"Yes Mamma!"

"Good." With that, she stood up and left her alone to practice some more.

Serah yawned and stretched her arms. She couldn't even remember falling asleep.

"That makes twice today." She said to herself, before rolling her shoulders and picking herself off the ground.

She opened the door a mite, finding it was afternoon, close to sunset. I should be getting back, she thought to herself before opening the door fully and stepping out. She took the same path back to New Bodhum as she'd taken out. She was glad no one saw her, not that she was surprised, it was difficult enough to spot someone making their way through these hills, it was even more so when it was getting darker.

When she got inside its borders, she walked close to the edge of the town, where she could overlook the water. She made sure not to reach here right after getting back in, as it was an open area and people would wonder what she was doing on the opposite side of town to where her house was for no reason. Not as many people were out at this time, so she had no reason to worry now that she was a good way in. The waters were calm, and the golden afternoon sun reflected off the waves beautifully. She wished she could dive in, but didn't as it would be difficult getting back to shore. The reason this part of town was not on the beach also, but because the sand made for a steep descent that was painfully difficult to get up.

In no time at all she was back at the ramp that led to the inhabited section of the beach. She walked down slowly and continued walking downwards until the water lapped at her feet. She sat down and allowed herself time to think. The atmosphere was so calming that she had almost forgotten why she had left in the first place. Because Snow and Sazh had begun to talk about Arianna in front of her, completely clueless. She had had quite the reaction to it, and knew it was unavoidable that she had to explain it. She supposed she could go ahead and say that she didn't want to hear about the killer anymore. Hopefully they'd buy it, though she was scared that Snow wouldn't. He knew her pretty well after all; he'd have better luck telling if something was off. Sazh hadn't seen enough of her to know when she was lying and when she wasn't.

Serah frowned and sighed, it was better to get it over and done with rather than putting it off. She stood up she turned to the right to get going, but just as she took the first step, a child ran into her. She jumped from the sudden occurrence but kept her footing fine. She lowered her head to look at them as she apologised, or for them to apologise it didn't really matter, and found it was the last person she'd expected it to be.

"Dajh?"

The little boy shook his head and rubbed the part of his face that had collided with her stomach.

"Ah, you!" He smiled happily. He was a bit taller, and his face was just a little bit less round, but it was still undeniable him.

"It's Serah, remember?" She giggled. She liked being around kids, the innocence about them made her calm. Sometimes she'd be so calm she'd forget Ari even existed, even though both her and the kid she would be talking to were immature.

"I know. Why would I forget?" He smiled again, and stepped out of her way. "I'm sorry; I wasn't looking where I was going. The boy over there dared me to run across without looking." He pointed to a small blonde boy in the distance

Serah peered over to where he was pointing, "That's quite the way away. And you didn't open your eyes once?"

"Well," He drawled, "I did once accidentally since I was starting to run in the water and I didn't want to fall in. But I closed them right after I swear!"

"I believe you." Serah smiled. "So you've been having fun?"

"Yeah!" Dajh grinned broadly. "There are a lot of kids back at the main settle…settlement, but no one's my age. They're either a baby or older, so no one wants to play." Serah giggled as he tripped over the word settlement but frowned when he said he was lonely.

"Aw, that's not nice. You'll find someone eventually, I know you will." She looked back over to the blonde boy Dajh had pointed to before. He was calling out and waving his hands.

"Oh look, I think he's calling you over. Maybe you should head back." She pointed over to the boy she was referring to, Dajh followed her finger and nodded in agreement.

"Hn."

"I'm going to head home, so I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah, we can talk lots too!" Dajh grinned, before running back over to the boy he'd been playing with.

She watched him until he reached the boy then went on her way. She really liked being around Dajh, it wasn't really anything about him being adorable and all that, she genuinely liked talking with him. He was nice, very kind and polite. It was something that made her like Sazh in turn, because he clearly was raising his son right. They had a bond that she could have only dreamed of having with either of her parents.

She was glad that she was fairly close to Dajh. He'd been the first person she'd seen after coming out of the crystal. In that moment she had felt so much hope, she had been convinced that all was lost when she'd become a L'cie, to find out that hope was still there, had been an amazing feeling. The first thing she could remember clearly was Dajh being there, happy, because he could see his daddy again. Immediately she started to talk about the people she would get to see again. It'd made her so happy, all the bad things she felt had been washed away, in that moment they did not exist at all. She cherished that conversation. Initially when Ari had started to get her way again and she'd begun to feel depressed over it, she had used that conversation to calm herself down. Sadly, it wasn't working as well as it once had. She hoped that speaking more with Dajh would make the memory fresher. If so, then possibly she could escape to it and ignore Arianna.

She hoped things could work out that way.

"Pretty good." A jovial voice appeared from behind her; Mel came from behind and rested her arm atop Ari's head.

She referred to the shots the girl had just fired. One was dead centre, and the others circled it a small distance away.

"I've gotten them all closer before, except I wanted to see if I could make them form a circle. Last time I tried it was more like a rectangle, not so close either." She spoke of it so lightly as if it were a game.

"Yeah I think I saw that." The older girl chuckled, and took her arm away. Her tone made it seem like she thought it was impressive, but Ari knew that was not so, for Mel had the ability to do just the same. She was better with guns; the recoil still flung Ari back every now and then.

They'd first been allowed to use guns back when she was seven. Even back then her head had been filled with different skills and much knowledge. CRESCENT poured it in daily. She'd been considered a proper agent back when she was ten, she was twelve at current time, Mel was fifteen.

Her mother had died four years back, when she was eight. Since then because there wasn't someone she was continuously trying her hardest to please, she had found pleasure in training. It was fun when she shot the target dead centre. It was amusing when the knives sliced up everything they touched, and it was funny when she used her knowledge of psychology to make someone flip out. When she thought about it, she could barely understand how she hadn't found it fun in the first place, tiny little her surpassed all the other trainees, the older agents had even called her a prodigy. It was hilarious when the people outside of CRESCENT acted like she was a weakling who could do nothing for herself, when she could kill them five times over without them even noticing.

After becoming a proper CRESCENT agent she had chosen to call herself Arianna. It was the same name her mother had used, but she quite liked it, and with that vile woman no longer around, what was the problem? All agents called themselves by a second name around base and a lot of the time, around the others during everyday life. The name commonly represented their true self, whoever knew it was someone they could honestly act like themselves around. Some agents forgot what other agents real names actually were, even if they were best friends. They became like the person's real name. Already people were forgetting that her name was really Serah. They all agreed that Serah was too sweet a name for a little demon such as herself. But she was still young and adorable, so they'd started up calling her Ari, it was a cute name, one they reckoned suited her better.

"You leaving after this?" Mel questioned, after the other girl had let off a few more shots.

"Yeah. Sis will worry if I don't. I doubt it, but I keep feeling like if she keeps getting worried she'll get suspicious. It's really stupid a thought, since she thinks I'm a complete angel."

Mel burst into a fit of laughter, "You, CRESCENT's prodigy; an angel? Crap man, you must be a good actor."

"All I have to do is act like I did back when I was four, but make myself seem more intelligent, but be careful not to act as intelligent as I really am. Simple, right? You have to act happy, which you already are, but otherwise act completely different to what you are, while hanging out with people you hate. There's a reason it's easier for me." She explained as she moved away from the firing range, she was returning the gun to a storage room that was to the left. All the long range equipment and a few of the short range weapons were stored in here.

"Yeah, I guess that's right." Mel mumbled to herself. "Hey wasn't your aunty looking after you, what happened again? I think I got told but forgot."

Arianna looked back at her like she was mad, "I've told you multiple times already, and so did Crescent. She died three months back. The police told me that she had been going home from work and was shot, it was an accident. A stray bullet from a fight, but then Crescent came up to me and asked me about it, so I think it was actually a stray bullet by an agent having bad luck taking down their target.

"Ooh yeah." Mel grinned. "Well serves her right. She was a total bitch wasn't she?"

"Yes," Ari answered as they begun the walk to the exit. "And she kept blaming Sis for everything. I mean she didn't really help by coming home at three in the morning on multiple occasions, but that's irrelevant. She'd still go off at her when she didn't even do anything. I ended up getting annoyed at her for doing it, so I stole her fifty dollars off her bedside table and spent it on candy. I made sure each piece was a dollar so I'd have fifty pieces. Then I ate it in the lounge room with it all spread out on the coffee table for her to see. Dumb thing was; she knew I didn't have any money and yet she didn't suspect me. When Sis came home she went off at her for the missing fifty. Even when Sis saw the sweets she didn't even have to think and knew I'd stolen it."

"Looks like you proved she was an idiot then?" Mel chuckled, rolling her eyes.

"Those were Sis' words exactly. She didn't even care that I'd gotten her in trouble. Though personally I think she was too drained to care, she collapsed on the couch next to me and joined in. She didn't say anything; I thought she was sick though, she looked it."

"Explanation?"

"Don't have one, I think I'll ask the idiot next time she acts funny. He always seems to know the strangest stuff."

"Seems a good idea as any."

"It's the best I've got; she isn't going to tell me, past experience has shown me that." She waved to Mel as she exited the room, with the intention of heading for the exit. "I'll seeya."

"Yeah, seeya." Mel waved back, though Ari could no longer see it.

Serah reached the house soon after her conversation with Dajh. She dodged a napping Gadot, who was resting on the steps in front of the house. She looked ahead of her to see that Snow and Sazh were still taking, Sazh remained where he had been but Snow was standing, he'd gotten up to get something was the best thing She could come up with.

She leaned over to Gadot. "They're still talking?" She made herself sound like she was in disbelief, but really she was just stalling. She still didn't want to talk to them, even though she'd left to calm down, she'd been plagued with thoughts of Arianna and CRESCENT all day.

"Yeah, though Snow went to go look for you awhile back, he only got back pretty recently. Good hider aren't you?" He chuckled.

"I guess." There was no way she'd admit that she'd been hiding outside of New Bodhum, everyone would flip out. "You know you shouldn't sleep there, you'll kill your back."

"Yeah, probably, I've done it before though. Oh last time I did I saw something fun." He grinned, recalling it.

"Hmm, what was it?" She didn't really care, but if it helped her to stall she'd listen.

"Closer, she'll get pissy if either of those two hear."

So Serah kneeled next to him and listened to what he whispered.

"I'm not sure what was going on, I think that weird guy was talking to Lightning, that's how it started at least."

"Weird guy? Do you mean Travis." She wouldn't be any bit surprised if Gadot had forgotten his name; he had no reason to even remember the guy existed. Serah's only reason was to get off him what happened to her sister back when they were teenagers. She knew he knew something that she didn't.

"The brunette who keeps juggling random crap?"

"That's him. So what happened?"

Gadot chuckled, "He got hit afterwards and all I'll admit, I'm not sure what the crap was going through his head for him to even try, but he kissed her."

"And?" Serah tilted her head in wonder.

Gadot sent her a look.

"I know that he likes her at least. It's obvious after you speak with him for a bit. I think it's why he's so stubborn about calling her by her actual name."

"Huh." Gadot raised an eyebrow, "Didn't expect that reaction."

"If you're used to something, it's not really anything anymore." She didn't quite believe in her words, only minor things were like that, when they're serious, it never changes. Bad things are still bad things years later, and they'll still make you sad. But this at least she was used to, the fact sat comfortably in a corner of her mind causing her no problems at all. Sometimes she'd forget that it was not common knowledge to everyone.

She half expected him to say more, so she stayed kneeling. It got to the point where she was beginning to think he'd speak no more when he opened his mouth and said,

"Don't you have something to say to those to? You had quite a reaction earlier I was told." That was something she didn't want to hear. She did have to face them eventually.

"Yeah." Enough stalling.

Serah stood up and walked up the remaining steps, knowing she'd have to face answering for her actions earlier in the day. Sazh noticed her first, as she walked in, as he was facing her direction. He continued his conversation with Snow but his eyes made a path that ended at her. Snow followed it and turned around, finding her standing nervously a few metres away by the door.

"Serah! Where have you been, I was searching for heaps long." He said as he crossed the distance between them.

She bit her lip and looked down, uneasily. "Sorry, I was just walking around I guess." Her voice was shaky; the others would probably pick up on the fact that she was reluctant to explain her earlier actions. "Around the main part mostly. I only came back down to the beach a little while ago. I was talking to Dajh before, but then he went off to play again." She didn't lift her face up but she glanced up with her eyes to see Snow's expression. She wasn't sure what he was feeling about her running off like she had. He wasn't annoyed, that much she could tell, he was more upset then anything. He must've of ben concerned when he couldn't find her anywhere.

"Jeez, you had me worried before. I couldn't find you anywhere, and everybody I asked had no idea either. It was like you'd disappeared into thin air." He sighed, he did look pretty exhausted.

"Except I haven't any idea how to do that." It was Ari that made her word it like that, so to make her sound less ridiculous she added, "And plus I'm pretty sure it's completely and utterly impossible."

There was a short pause, so she looked up to see his expression again, to see if it would hint what was happening next. She could tell he was going to ask her about earlier next, it was written all over his face.

"What was that, you were shaking, and crying too, why'd you react like that?" Snow asked, he sounded deeply concerned. And she could find no reason to blame him, after all he cared for her very much, and she'd just had a break down and then disappeared. At the start he must have felt a mix of emotions, but now they'd formed into just one: worry.

Behind him she could see Sazh had a similar expression, only confusion remained to be present with him.

Serah lowered her head again, and in a quiet barely there voice she answered. "I don't know." She had never intended to react that way, she had intended to stay silent, grit her teeth and wait for it to end. Only she hadn't been able to manage. The shaking she could understand, but she was still confused about the crying. Maybe she was convinced that they hated her, they hated the side of her that was Arianna, unbeknownst to them. But she was scared they hated her too, the side of her that was 'Serah', and no matter how much thought she put into it, she couldn't understand why.

"I just…I didn't want to listen." She begun, thinking up what to as she said it. "I just didn't want to listen to anything about the killer." She was sick of hearing of Ari's deeds, because that made her a bad person too, and she didn't want to be a bad person, not any more. That was something she had decided when she was fifteen, and was yet to succeed.

"It makes me sick listening to people speak about her." Because she is her. "It makes me sick, it makes me uneasy." She swallowed a lump forming in her throat. "Hearing everybody talk about that rumour frightens me." Because she was scared that people were going to find out that she was Arianna; that she'd eventually crack under the pressure and admit to everything.

When she looked back up to Snow, tears were falling from her eyes again. He looked worried, as he had the entire time. But he didn't say any words of comfort; instead he pulled her into a hug and held her tight.

She frowned, and shut her eyes. That was right, he had no idea what was going around in her head; he couldn't hear what she'd left unspoken. To anyone listening, it must've sounded like she was petrified of the murderer, that she was scared she or someone close to her was going to get killed by them. But she didn't fear that at all, because she knew that could never possibly happen. She was scared of hurting those she cared about yes, but in no physical way. If they found out who she truly was, they'd be disgusted wouldn't they? They'd be hurt because she'd tricked them into thinking she was a little angel who deserved the world.

She had never intended for things to end up the way they did, the people around her had made up all these ideas about her, and she'd become terrified to go against them. She had never wanted her sister to protect her, she had never wanted the man in front of her to fall so hopelessly in love with her, when he deserved so much better than a lunatic like her.

She could never become a suspect, because everyone that knew her was so helplessly clueless as to whom she really was.

Serah wrapped her arms tightly around Snow. She was scared out of her mind right now, but she didn't want him to let go. She didn't want his warmth to leave her; it was the only thing stopping her from having a complete nervous breakdown. She could hear him whispering 'it's alright, it's alright' against her ear, she smiled grimly and hugged him tighter. He was so hopeless clueless, everyone was so hopelessly clueless.

It was not alright. It never had been, and it was never going to be, as long as she was around.

Nya, done.

Snow makes me sad in this story, he's so clueless. If I was in Serah's place, I would have completely lost it by now. I wouldn't be able to look him in the face I'd feel so terrible.

Hopefully, if I can get myself to write them, there will be two important flashbacks next chapter. I think the main problem I'll find is that they may make it a big chapter and make myself go restless. I can't sit down and do the one thing for hours, no matter how awesome it is.

Reviews shall be much appreciated, I'm still going through one of those moments where I'm not getting many. It's weird to have one after a DATW update...DL one's also. They're my most popular stories on here.

Just asking, since the reviews I get about this are fun, but what do you all think Happened to Lightning when she was a teenager? I've been asked if it was scientific experiments before, so far, that's my favourite one. So if you can spare a minute to send a review (or PM) I'd really like to know what you think.

Jya ne,

~Serah Villiers Valentine