Based on season 6, with a new female character, using her POV. Warning for explicit language and violence, mentions of sexual abuse and suicide.

When they arrived at Alexandria, they both went to the infirmary. Lux left first and headed home. She took a long cold shower, and tried not to think; but all the things that had happened before had her anxious and upset. She had recalled many things she had tried to hide, and she had done something disgusting, that could have her rejected by the others, because she needed to do it. Not just because she wanted to protect herself and the community, but also for her own pride. She needed to inflict pain to others, or else scare them to the bone. She was using fear as a weapon, and she liked it. Her only concern was not reaching so far Daryl that would leave her.

She left the bathroom, and had lunch with remains of roasted ham and rice that Carol had made for dinner the night before. She liked her a lot actually, but she knew Carol didn't like her, because Daryl was too important for her. Anyway, the ham tasted delicious.

She asked Carl if he was busy that afternoon, because she wanted to sleep and there was no one else available to look after the baby. He told her not to worry and she went to bed.

At 3 PM she was already awake, but she didn't feel like getting up and babysitting. She was a soldier, a ruthless one. She couldn't look after something so pure.

Someone banged her door. She got up and covered with her dress. It was Glenn.

"Hi. Sorry, Rick wants to see you. Like, now." he was too serious for what she was used to.

"Okay, give me a minute." she replied.

"He is... he is not angry, I guess. But he wants to talk to you, in private."

"We fucked up, it's official."

Rick and Daryl were standing up, in the kitchen. It was strange because they didn't usually go home during the day, and all the meetings about important stuff happened either at the church or in Deanna's house, out of respect for her, even though she was not able to command anymore. She swallowed saliva and noticed Michonne, almost hidden in a corner.

"Hi Rick." she straightened her back and scratched her head. "What's up?"

He was very rigid.

"Okay, now I want to ask you something and I want you both to answer right away, at once." Rick said. "He has already told me what that savior told you. And I need to know… Did you torture that man?" his voice sounded scared and threatening at the same time.

"No." she and Daryl replied together.

"Then, how did you get all that information?" Rick asked.

"I beat him." Daryl answered. "But it wasn't torture, he was bugging me and harassing her."

"I did my best to scare him, that's the truth. I got my hands dirty, but not with him." Lux said, distant. "it worked, and I'm not ashamed or anything. But I didn't touch him, and Daryl didn't do anything villain. The fucker got terrified because he was alone and we played with his mind." she exhaled and went on "Rick, what happened out there? Do we have an agreement? What are we gonna do? Why did they attack us?"

"Rick didn't know they were chasing us." Daryl answered "Apparently they just wanted to trap us, but they didn't count on us resisting."

"We have an agreement, but for the third part of our food, after we talked. I begged for mercy, because we don't have so much food to share." Rick mourned "And he told me they would give us a chance, and they would respect us. But what the man told you changes the picture completely. So part of me is glad you did what you did. Even then, we won't attack them, we can't. We are very few, exposed and weak."

"Yeah, I guess" Lux said. She noticed everybody in the room was suspiciously quiet and upset.

"Fine." Rick concluded. "I'm not gonna ask more and you're not telling me anything else, and you're not telling anyone at all about this. I believe you, but I'm not sure the rest will."

"I wouldn't count on that." Michonne agreed.

"Now, for something more important. We gotta do something about you seven, and I have thought of the worst option, but the best for the people here."

He gasped and continued.

"You're being exiled. You're out from here. I can't do anything else. I know you won't like it, and I don't like it, it is unfair, because I also participated in that, and Glenn, but we are not marked and we have to use that. I am fondly sorry, and also I would prefer to have you here helping us protect Alexandria. But you are target, and you are bait. We are not safe with you here. So" he leaned on the table, and breathed deeply. "Abraham, Tara, Heath, Aaron, Rosita and you both are leaving tomorrow morning. I think it is for the best. You can take anything you need, I mean it. "Rick looked at Lux in the eye. "Ammo, food, meds, whatever. You will have it harder than us to find any of that."

"When can we come back?" she asked, very sad. "If we can..."

"We are talking that maybe we can't come back, ever." Daryl replied, in sorrow. "We will make our best to find a way. But we depend on the forgiveness of a bunch of slaughterers."

Nobody talked for a while. Lux was back to the wall, sad and embarrassed. "Everything is my fault, I shouldn't have taken you there." she said, after some minutes.

"Don't say that, it could have happened anyway, and thanks to you we found a ton of food that helped us depending less on Hilltop." Rick said, more relaxed, still his arms were crossed. "By the way, although I don't want to talk about what you did this morning... thank you. You have saved us from a disaster. Well, now I have to go to Deanna's house, the others are waiting for me to tell them the news. You can start packing."

Michonne approached Lux and told her. "I want you to come upstairs for a moment, if you please."

"Okay. Daryl..." she grabbed his dirty arm. "I think you could go to Carol's. You should say goodbye."

He frowned in surprise "Yeah, I guess you are right."

The men left the house and the women went upstairs.

"You know, I'm sorry." Lux said. "I don't know what you think of me, but I know you don't like me."

"I don't like you, but that's not the point. I... I know you." Michonne replied. "I know you better than you think."

Michonne sat on her bed and grabbed her bag, the one she had always prepared. "Sit with me, I won't yell at you. Look, we don't talk much, and I know what it seems, but it's not like that. You remind me of myself."

"How? I'm very different... I'm... You are a good woman."

Michonne stared at her with her big, black, sharp eyes, and started:

"I see you. Every time you have to go out, on the road again, I can tell you are scared. Everybody thinks it's for the walkers, or the gangs, but I know you are afraid of yourself, of what you can do. Of what you have done out there to survive. And I can't blame you."

Lux pressed her lips on one another and listened, looking at the bedspread.

Michonne went on.

"I know what you could have done today if Daryl didn't stop you, if you were alone."

Lux didn't reply.

"Has he told you how they found me?" Michonne asked "What I looked like?"

"He told me they found you deep in the woods, alone, and you joined them. Nothing more."

"He is a true gentleman." she breathed deeply. "Lux, I used to wander in the forest tied to my husband and my brother... both transformed, both mutilated so they wouldn't hurt me. I had been like that since the walkers hit our camp, within the first weeks."

"I'm sorry." Lux was astonished.

"Thank you. I also lost my little baby in the beginning, in Atlanta, I'm glad he left so soon." she breathed again. "The thing is, I thought I had lost my humanity when I met the group. I thought there was nothing inside me, that I had transformed myself, forever. That is why I kept walking between two walkers, their arms severed and their teeth removed, but guarding me so nobody dared to touch me. I was using fear, because fear was all I had. I don't know what you have done, but I can imagine you are haunted, and that is why we all fear you, because you could hurt yourself or Daryl even without an intention."

"I would never hurt him, he is the best thing that has happened to me." she muttered.

"I know you don't want to. But you have things inside you, that keep pushing out. I see how you look at Judith when you have to babysit her, you don't even touch her. You are scared of yourself."

Lux sat back without looking at her and hid her tears. Michonne continued.

"I just want you to know you are not alone. I used to feel like that. When they found me, and I started to open myself, not completely, even then I was afraid of hurting them. However, time passed and things were good, very good. We suffered, we endured together, I lost some of them, but there I was, human again. Caring, loving, laughing. Things I thought I would never see in myself again." She picked a little shiny piece of glass from her bag. "We used to live in a prison, and it was the first time I slept under a roof in months. I felt awkward, because they acted like they had not lost their values or anything, and I considered myself a misfit. But as I told you, I was making friends and building a family again. And then, one day I was sweeping the floor, and I found this." She showed her a crystal, almost pink. "I don't know where it came from, probably it's just a piece of an ashtray or a plate. I thought it was beautiful and I kept it. It reminded me of a necklace my husband gave me long ago."

"It's very nice." Lux smiled.

"I want you to keep it, I don't need it anymore. But you do."

"Thank you, but I can't accept it. It's your memory, not mine."

"You are in danger." Michonne was speaking firmly. "Now you will go away, we don't know how long, and you will find yourself alone with your inner monsters. You have friends, you have love, but you don't trust yourself as a person, because you remember when you where not human like it was yesterday."

"I don't know if I can change." Lux murmured. "If I can go back to normal."

"You can. You are doing it. You have made a big effort, I didn't think you would merge into us so good. Daryl is proud of you, he told me. So you have come a long way, but there still a big risk of losing what you have. You gotta have this to remember me, and what I'm saying."

"Thank you." Lux took the glass in her hand. It was the size of a hazelnut, and strangely heavy. "I will keep it and look at it when I am scared of myself."

"That's the thing. And... I know it's useless to say this, but don't do anything you will regret deeply. I don't mean killing, you get me."

"Right." Lux stood up. "I better start packing."

"Yeah, and by the way... you're not coming back to this house, if you come. You both will take the one next to the tower, the other side of the road. It's small but it will do for you."

"So you're re-outcasting us."

"You're emancipating. It's about time."

Lux packed her bag alone, locked in the bedroom. She was very sad, because it had been her house for more than a month. The whole community had been her shelter for long and now she was going to abandon it for the wild world. She was also terrified, for herself as Michonne said, and also for all the rest of things and people they might find. But at least there was a "they" now.

She finished packing and went outside for some air. Abraham was coming towards the house, very sad.

"Hi." Lux greeted him

"Hello."

"How's Sasha?"

"I left her crying." Abraham gulped "We should pick a car for tomorrow."

"Now?"

"Now. Heath and Rosita are waiting for us at the gates."

"Fine. I'll grab my guns."

They went outside, and all of them were upset and quiet. They went on rejecting the cars which were stuck, ruined, burnt or had more than one walker trapped inside, and that kept them walking away until seven.

Suddenly, they found two possible cars, one opposite the other, and they split to try them both and save time, as the sun was going down already. Heath and Lux were breaking in a Ranchera that looked empty.

"How are you?" Heath began. "We haven't talked much since the generator."

"Yeah, right?" Lux said. "It looks like an eternity."

"The thing is... well, I'm sorry you are among the expelled ones, but I like having you with us... you're fun."

"Thanks." She smiled. "I noticed you are one of the few who laughs at my stupid jokes."

"It's just that... nobody makes jokes, or little talk, everything is so serious..."

"Yeah, well, I understand them, but I guess I just try to be the way I used to."

"Okay, so, if yo let me, I'm going to start little talk:" Heath began "What do you really miss? I don't mean people, or sad things, just... I don't know, like I miss pizza."

"Hey!" she was pulling a walker out using her leg to lean on the car. "That is sad! I do miss pizza. And tacos, dammit. Coca cola!"

"Yes! That's what I'm talking about. New songs on the radio. Wendy's."

"Shit, I'm shedding a tear. Those places were nice, not like MacDonald's. Also Ben & Jerry's, Cosmopolitan … And I miss TV, a lot."

"Series? CSI? Sopranos?"

"Gray's Anatomy."

"No way! You can't miss that, it was sad." Heath got inside and tried to start it. "You can't miss crying for a stupid program."

"That's precisely what I miss. Crying for stupid things, not for serious ones." She entered the car beside him. "I think I never cried for something serious before I was 25."

The car started and made some noises.

"Can we go adult?" Lux asked, curious. "Like, I miss party. Party hard. One night stands. I think I even miss hangovers."

"Ha ha ha. Yeah, Okay, I miss being able to chill in my room all Sunday because I couldn't move due to hangover. Playing video games and jerking off."

"Dude!" she yelled "I'm a lady!"

"He he. You're not a lady. And you said going adult."

"Hell, you wanna go adult? You look college, with your glasses and your bigoted attitude."

"Yeah, I went to college, I majored in law and then the zombies broke in."

"Right. Then you know what I'm talking about." she took air "I miss cocaine."

He rose his brows in shock. "Wow, I wasn't expecting that, girl."

"Now you're gonna tell me you were the one holding a beer and watching the orgy from the back."

"No, I wasn't. But are you talking all cocaine, or one specific? Because we got shit most of the semester here in Georgia."

"I am referring to the legendary, epic, "I'm a supermodel" kind of shit, Jersey Pimp."

"Jesus Christ, I only heard about it sometimes! Where the fuck did you get it?"

"I had the best friends back in Chicago."

"I'm scared of asking you more. Let's go tell them we have a new car. Go to the backseat and clear it out."

"Making me clean? Can you be more sexist?"

"I am a bad cleaner, that's all." He talked to her through the broken window. "Just... please don't tell anyone, Okay? They think I'm a decent guy."

"Yeah, well. I rehab like five years ago, so we're no talking about this again."

"Well, let's go straight to the point. This is your route." Rick was unfolding the maps on the table at Deanna's, between Abraham and Eugene. There were only the seven involved, plus Michonne, Maggie and Glenn. The atmosphere was tense. "Glenn and me are going to go with you for the first ten miles, but then you travel alone. We are basically heading north west, towards the Appalachian, according to what that savior told you."

"You should study escaping routes no matter how" Eugene continued "in case you fall in a trap, or the road is stuffed with walkers. There is also a big risk of landslides in that area, along with floods, due to the time of the year, and encounters with the other gang he told you about."

"We have been talking with the people at Hilltop" Rick said, "and there is a running commentary about an all-men militia, former marines, who used to wander those roads during the first months after everything ended. We hope it's not the case. Anyway, as Eugene said, you must be always thinking of sideway chances. You must get used to that again."

"Okay, sorry for interrupting, but..." Tara made her best to stay calm and make a proper request "Is there any plan at all or is this just about hitting the road and driving far away forever? Are we thinking of building our own camp apart?"

"That's sort of the point, actually." Maggie replied, downhearted. "We hope you can begin again and we can meet someday when things look better. But as long as you are being chased..." she caressed her womb "we can't shelter you, that's all."

"Just to enlighten the situation a bit now," Eugene continued "and as your escaping route is merely tangential to the one towards the coal workshop we are working on, you can pick supplies before going further. We are making shifts to protect the ammunition we already have, so you can take everything you need, we will make more later on."

"Thank you" Lux said, hunched over in a corner.

"Right, so... "Daryl said, standing opposite Rick" All this is neat, and you are helping us a lot, and I understand we gotta go away, but... Is this it? Is this all we are going to do? Like... Aren't we giving up somehow?"

"It's simple, mate. You want to fight, you do it far away. I'm sorry." Glenn replied, hugging Maggie. "We can't host fugitives, no matter if it is fair or not. We can't afford it. This is not a battle camp, we are building a civilization here."

"It's just a baby." Rosita muttered. No one seemed to hear her.

"I don't know what to say." Rick combed his hair backwards with his hands, and looked away. "I am angry, and frustrated, and I feel I have failed you although it's not my fault. I want to think this is temporary, and it's just another expedition like the ones the members of this community used to do, like Heath was doing when we arrived. I don't know, man."

"In my opinion" Aaron began, beside Lux "we should face this issue like the survivors we are. It's shit, but we have to go through it, and use what we have."

"Strength?" Abraham said.

"Luck." Aaron replied. "We are lucky. And I know you hate me for saying this, but we are alive, we are together, we stand. And we have been so lucky to know our destiny beforehand and change it, because that is what we are doing now. We are fixing a problem before it hits us. So I guess this is what there's left for us, our chances. And we must use them."

Lux kissed his cheek. Some people nodded, the others didn't reply.

"Good, we are leaving tomorrow at eight, so you can rest well." Rick finished, folding the map. Everybody went home.

Michonne was standing on her porch, arms crossed, very serious.

"Good night." she greeted.

"Mmmhm." Daryl replied.

"What are you doing, drinking at my door at 2 AM?"

"Your door? I thought is was mine too." he tried to stand up, but failed miserably.

"Not anymore, I already told Lux that you were moving to the other house when you come back, but you could stay here tonight. However, drinking your ass out, on your own, in the middle of the night, is not the best farewell."

"Sorry ma'am, did I bother you?" Daryl mocked.

"Yeah, actually you woke me up smashing a bottle on the floor a minute ago. Do you recall doing that?"

"Yes. I do." He stuttered. "Sorry."

"What's the problem? You fought again?"

"No, it's not that... it's... I don't know, it's not her fault. I don't want to sleep."

"You prefer to feel miserable out here, and throw up on my bushes." She approached him.

"Okay, I had it coming. I'm going for a walk."

"First you should try to stand on your feet for a while."

He finally stood up and looked at her. "I need a break, from everything. I... don't know what I'm doing anymore."

She thought for a moment and then asked, carefully. "Are you assuring me that this is just about you, and not about you and her? Like, I am not messing between you and Miss Super White Trash if I talk to you?"

He laughed, still dizzy. "No, it's fine, go ahead."

"I get it. She turned your life upside down within a couple of weeks, and I understand it's too much for what you are used to, but... I thought you were happy."

"I am. I guess. I don't know what that means, I didn't use to think in those terms..."

"You got me confused." she said. "I would understand it if she was dependent, jealous, or needed you all the time, but you both only see each other less than ten hours a day... is it too much contact for you?"

"No, it's not that, I like what we have."

"And... is she asking for more?"

"No." he kept looking at the stairs. "But what you said... when we are doing duty, or hanging out, or patrolling, when I take her out for a ride, that's when I enjoy it, you know? Because she is strong, self sufficient, she doesn't need me. We are together because we want to. But when I see her asleep, it's like I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. I have to protect her, and I can't bear with that."

"Yeah, right. That's a bummer. Welcome."

"I always knew I had to defend everybody, and I got tired of it sometimes, but now... she is fragile goods. She is special."

"I will never tell her you call her that." she said. "But all this is normal. It's love."

"I guess it is. Wanna know something stupid?" he pulled a smirk. "I kept her phone number with me. I found the piece of paper where she wrote it years ago, stuck in my pants, when we reached the prison, and I didn't throw it away. It made me feel good. I still have it."

"After what she did to you."

"Well, I wasn't a saint, exactly." he sighed. "And now I'm unable to go all suburban with her."

"You are scared to lose her. You don't want to sleep beside her because it reminds you it could be the last night."

"Exactly. You are clever."

"I am." she walked down the stairs and stood before him. "You know what? I'm sorry to break it to you, but it is true. You are going to lose her. It could happen anytime."

He looked at her in shock.

"You will lose her, you could die too, but she is likely to go sooner." Michonne breathed deeply. "And I can lose Rick tomorrow, going out with you. We can lose Carl, and Judith. I can lose you. It's gonna happen. You have to face it."

"I don't want to face that!"

"I thought I was talking to the bravest man I ever met. But you don't have the guts to sleep with your girlfriend because she could die in the morning."

"That's cruel."

"But that's exactly what you have been thinking all this time. And that's exactly the reason why you should go in there and make love to her, because it could be the last time, and also it's for sure the last time you'll have a bed in months."

He stood up too. "Anything else?"

"It just bugs me that you both keep staying in denial with each other. You are fine together. You should see your face every time she pops up, it's like watching Winnie the Pooh waking up on Christmas. Gosh."

"Ha ha ha, you don't seem to enjoy it, it's almost like you were jealous."

She didn't reply.

"Fuck, say something."

"Gimme the booze." she said, reaching him with her hand.

"You just said it, I dropped it on your stairs."

"I mean the rest. You always carry a flask with you."

"Here you are." He looked at her, confused.

She took a big gulp and started. "I will deny saying this, but... I used to like you. I won't tell you when, or how long, but I really liked you. Don't say a thing, just listen. I never did anything because I didn't trust myself... I didn't think I could tear down the fucking concrete wall you always had around you. I wasn't eager to share deep feelings either, but you always looked like hidden out, far away... like nobody could touch you deep, not even Carol. That's why I never tried, because I thought it was a waste of time and I could lose you as a friend. And now you tell me you were keeping her number? What the fuck dude?"

He sighed, bummed, and asked. "And why on Earth are you telling me this now?"

"I'm telling you so you learn a bit about wasting your time, about missing your chances, about wondering for the rest of your life what could have happened if... I guess I'll never know, and I moved on... and I found someone else, I'm fine with him... but I will never know now, right?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm going for a walk."

"Okay, go. And please don't wake me up again when you enter."

"Good night. And..."

"What?"

He dared to look at her "Thank you."

"What for? "Michonne asked.

"I don't know."

One hour later Daryl went back home and got in bed beside Lux. She didn't wake up completely:

"Jesus, you reek of cheap whiskey."

"I'm sorry." he replied.

"Take off your clothes, you always scratch me."

"Okay."

"Good night, tramp."

"Good night. Lux..."

"What?"

"I love you."

She opened her eyes wide and turned around, facing him. "What?"

"I said I love you."

"You're an idiot." she smiled. "I love you too."

She held him so tight that she felt his ribs against hers.

"Do you... do you want to do something?"

"He he. That's kind of a teenage pick up line." he stared at her eyes, excited. "Do you?"

"Yeah. And I want you to ask me for what you want. I won't get mad, just ask and I say yes or no."