Thank you for the reviews :) How about a nice Friday evening with some alone time for the Doctor and Clara?

Chapter 14

The Doctor hurried through the streets of the Citadel, his bag slung loosely over his shoulder, eager to finally see Clara after a long, boring day in the library. Somehow it had become his new routine over the last few weeks and the Doctor couldn't quite explain what it was that just drew him back to her almost every single day. Was is the thrill? The danger of being caught? Was it the sadness in her insanely big, dark eyes? No, that wasn't it, none of it. It was the moments in which the Doctor was able to make her laugh, the expression of sheer astonishment when he showed her something new, their conversations. Some days it felt as if he had known her for years even though they had only just met. No, the Doctor was certain. It was destiny that had brought them together and he was meant to be with her.

The Doctor stuck his head through the wall and grinned when he spotted Clara already waiting for him. As usually, his hearts skipped a little beat.

"Doctor," Clara said happily before she approached him and flung her arms around his neck in an embrace.

"Umpf," he uttered, still not quite used to this kind of physical contact. It just wasn't what Time Lords usually did. They didn't touch or hug or kiss. Normally, their connection was on a different level, a mental rather than physical one, but how would Clara know when she had only had her father to talk to until recently?

The Doctor gently laid his hands on her back and let her hug him. The sensation wasn't a bad one, just a little bit confusing and strange.

"What are we gonna do today?" she enquired curiously.

In response, the Doctor grinned at her. She wasn't ready to leave the capital yet, to meet the Shobogans, but he had thought of something that might make Clara like them a little bit more. He reached into his bag and produced a bottle from the inside.

"Today I'm going to introduce you to a part of Shobogan culture and you're gonna love it," the Doctor promised.

Clara raised her eyebrows and the Doctor watched her gaze wander back and forth between him and the bottle, but eventually, she shrugged. "I'll get our picnic blanket," she said.

A short while later the Doctor sank down on the blanket in the middle of the forest and watched Clara lean back and look up at the stars while he prepared two glasses for them.

"The TARDIS has escaped again," she said and pointed towards the sky. "Look!"

The Doctor raised his head and smiled to himself. "Good for her," he remarked and then proceeded to pour them both the Shobogan alcohol before he handed a glass to Clara.

"What exactly is this?" she wanted to know and sniffed the contents, immediately wrinkling her nose. "Ew, this smells vile."

The Doctor chuckled in response. "Yeah, it does a bit," he replied. "But it doesn't taste as bad after a few glasses. The Shobogans brew it. If consumed in small doses, it makes them feel better."

Clara only frowned at him and the Doctor understood her confusion. Even he had been confused in the beginning when the Shobogans had told him about the stimulants they consumed at times and he guessed that in a way it made a lot more sense for them as it did for the Time Lords.

"I don't know how to describe it," he explained. "It's different for Time Lords though, doesn't quite have the same effect. We metabolize it too quickly."

Still, Clara didn't seem quite convinced.

"It's harmless," the Doctor said. "And, like I said, the effect isn't the same as on the Shobogans. Some of them get sad and emotional, other start singing or dancing. If they drink too much, they can even throw up. But Missy and I have been drinking this for years, nothing bad has ever happened."

To show her that she had nothing to worry about, the Doctor downed the contents of his drink, but Clara was still hesitant and only stared at the glass in her hands.

"I never told you about a conversation I had with my father a while ago," she confessed and still, she evaded his gaze. "He said the Shobogans killed my mother."

"I'm sorry," he replied sincerely. The Doctor hadn't known because he had listened to Stonix and stopped asking questions about the Lord President. Maybe it was time to find out a little more. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"That's why he hates them, why he wants to kill them all."

"The Council won't let him," the Doctor tried to reassure her. "And the majority of them just wants to live in peace."

Clara seemed to consider his words for a moment and then, in a swift movement, raised the glass to her lips and knocked back the contents. Her face distorted into a grimace.

"Disgusting," she complained.

The Doctor chuckled in response. "Yeah, that was my initial reaction, too," he explained and leaned forward to refill her glass.

Clara frowned at him again. "I'm not feeling any different."

"It takes a while," he said and suddenly he felt a weight on his shoulder as Clara leaned against him with a sigh. The Doctor wasn't quite sure what to do about that. Should he move away? Put his arm around her? Physical contact was so confusing.

They both sipped their drinks in silence for a long while and somehow, right now, the Doctor was grateful for that. This was almost idyllic. Just being with Clara and watching the stars appear in the night sky one after one as the suns were sinking below the horizon.

"Did I ever tell you about how I met the Shobogans?"

He felt Clara shake her head against his shoulder. "No, I don't think so."

The Doctor stared ahead, deep into the forest. It was getting darker by the minute. "I had just regenerated and I was confused and wandering through the Cloisters. I had no idea where I was or where I was going, but somehow I found the secret passageway to the outside and I guess I must have passed out again. When I woke up, I was in a bed in a Shobogan camp and this woman bent over me and tended to my wounds. She knew a lot about Time Lords and she knew about regeneration. She gave me food and drinks and helped me regain my strength before she showed me the way back into the capital."

"That was nice of her," Clara remarked.

"I came back to thank her a few weeks later and the Shobogans welcomed me like I was one of them. They had little to eat, but they made me stay for dinner. Everything about them was so warm and welcoming, so the next time I returned with food from the capital. That's how it started, how we became friends."

Clara turned her head and looked at him. "I want to meet them," she said. "But I'm confused. All my life I've heard nothing but bad things about them and then you show up and-"

"It's okay," the Doctor reassured her. "There's still time. We don't have to go today or tomorrow."

In response, Clara grinned and him and held up her glass to demand a refill. The Doctor poured her another drink and watched her down the contents.

"It's weird," she replied. "Like my brain is lighter."

The Doctor laughed. "Yeah, it starts like that."

"Tell me, the Shobogans, are they really not violent?"

"Oh, well, they can be if provoked," he said and chuckled. "Missy once picked a fight with six of them. That was nasty."

"Well, I better not provoke them then," she reasoned, smiling at him. Even in the fading light, the Doctor noticed how beautiful she looked right now. Dark eyes, flushed cheeks. Clara was beautiful.

He refilled their drinks again and leaned back, his gaze set on the stars high above them. The TARDIS really looked like a third moon tonight and the Doctor knew that somewhere out there, the Shobogans were looking at it, probably celebrating its reappearance. They were always looking for a reason to celebrate and the Doctor couldn't blame them. Anything to help them take their minds off the struggle.

"I'm gonna steal it one day," the Doctor said thoughtfully. "I'm gonna steal it and leave this place and never come back."

Clara turned her head and looked at him, her eyes suddenly wider than before.

"What?" he asked.

"Why are you saying things like that?" Clara wanted to know and her voice suddenly sounded incredibly small.

The Doctor wasn't quite sure what to respond to that, so he just frowned at her for a moment. "Because it's true," he replied hesitantly. "Because that's what I want. I don't want to spend the rest of my life on Gallifrey."

Quickly, Clara averted her eyes and the Doctor didn't know what had brought about the shift in her mood, but he was quite sure that it had something to do with what he had said.

"Clara?"

He heard her swallow. "You can't leave," she said quietly.

"I'm not going to leave today or tomorrow-"

"But you're gonna leave eventually," Clara finished his sentence.

"Yes?" The Doctor leaned forward to look into her face, but Clara turned her head away. "Clara, what's the matter?"

The next thing he heard was a sound that he hadn't expected and it stung deep, as if a knife had been stabbed straight into his hearts. Clara started sobbing.

"Clara, oh Rassilon's Ghost, I'm sorry," he uttered instantly and put his glass aside to close his arms around Clara. When she finally turned around, the Doctor realized she was crying. "I'm so sorry, this is all my fault. This is a side effect of the alcohol. It makes you emotional."

"You're gonna leave me," she sobbed and in a sudden movement, she flung her arms around him and buried her face against his chest. "You're the only friend I have and you're gonna leave me."

"I"m not gonna leave you, Clara," the Doctor tried to reassure her, but Clara didn't stop. The Doctor thought he had never felt so useless and guilty as he was feeling right now. Clara was crying and it was all his fault.

"But you just said-" Her sentence was cut short by another sob and as the tears drenched his shirt, the Doctor realized she wasn't going to stop crying anytime soon.

He had no idea what to do, how to comfort her, but he so wanted to calm her down, make her feel better. This hadn't been his intention at all.

"It's just a side effect, Clara," he whispered carefully and raised his hand to her head, carefully stroking her hair. It felt so soft under his palm. "It's the Shobogan drink that makes you feel like this, nothing else."

"You can't leave me," she wailed quietly. "You've made yourself essential to me."

It was at this moment that the Doctor realized just how lonely Clara had truly been all this time and he realized that the loss of her mentor still sat too deep. She was afraid it was going to happen all over again. She was afraid to lose him and if the Doctor was entirely honest, he didn't want to lose her either. But would he stay on Gallifrey just for her? The Doctor couldn't say. That wasn't a promise he could make.

Instead, the Doctor pulled her a little more tightly against his chest and held her in his embrace. He vowed not to let her go until she had stopped crying.