disclaimer: SM owns twilight.

-O-

My racing heart came to a sudden stop as Edward looked to me, his eyes determined and scared at the same time. Was he asking to be killed? Because my dad was certainly ready to grab one of Jasper's guns and chase my boyfriend away.

"Now, I don't know who you think you are but–" my dad began but, surprisingly, was interrupted by my mom.

With her hand raised, she shook her head back and forth, keeping her hand up to stop his rant. "Charlie, he had enough courage to come here... we might as well hear him out."

I wanted to hug her. She was my hero at that moment; my hero that still would not look at me.

Edward's face was slightly reddened while mine was burning. I hoped he knew I didn't just keep my mouth shut – that I really did fight. For us.

"I love your daughter." My dad loudly scoffed at Edward's declaration. I melted that he was there, making his intentions clear for me. Regardless of my dad's childish behavior, Edward continued. "And I know we're young, but we know what love is. She's my best friend. Yes, we went about this the wrong way, keeping our relationship quiet the way we did. But since I am older, Bella and I both thought the two of you would never allow it. While we see it as just a few years, we both understand that as her parents, you would feel as though I might be taking advantage of her. However, I can assure you that I have the utmost respect for your daughter. She's the most important person in my life and will always be treated that way."

The tears I'd held back throughout the evening broke loose, and all I wanted to do was go to him and be in his arms. He was without a doubt the most caring person I'd ever known.

For a moment, it looked as if my mother was about to cry as well. Wasn't that what all parents wanted? Happiness and security for their children? No matter how young we both were, I knew he'd keep me safe always.

"I respect you for coming here, young man," my mom said, looking to Edward. "But her father and I both feel that Bella is too young for a relationship with someone your age. You were obviously mature enough to come to us, but our daughter isn't."

I openly gaped at my mother.

It was the ultimate betrayal.

I expected it from my dad, but not from my mom.

"Mom, I–"

"No, Isabella. We really don't need to hear anymore from you," she said, interrupting me with the same damn hold-her-hand-in-the-air move she did with my dad. Had she completely forgotten how I'd turned everything around in the last year? How I didn't cry at night anymore? That I actually smiled every day?

Nodding to my dad, Mom indicated that he should escort Edward out. I felt hopeless. My dad could be mad at me all he wanted, but having my mom disappointed in me, with no support – it was awful.

I couldn't stop the rapidly falling tears as I watched Edward leave the room. The look on his face was utter despair as though he'd failed me – when it was actually me who failed the both of us.

"Love you," he shouted seconds before I heard the door slam. I said it back, but I was sure that my dad sent him out of the house after his declaration for me.

-O-

My life at home was never the same again. And those aren't the over-exaggerated words of a broken-hearted teen; it was the truth.

I had a nine o'clock curfew throughout the rest of the summer and for my entire senior year.

I never had a reason to defy that nine o'clock curfew, considering I had no friends that I wanted to spend any time with.

My best friend was dead, and I had to face that fact for the first time since Edward had come into my life.

I didn't have Edward. Sure, we emailed back and forth every day, but I couldn't instant message him or stay up late talking on the phone with him. I had no phone in my bedroom anymore – my dad had removed that himself. I certainly couldn't take the cordless phone into my room – I wasn't even allowed to call him. My computer was moved into the den – where my dad watched CNN or sports every night. I was able to change the password to my email and had that small amount of privacy, but he would spend most of the night looking over his shoulder, constantly checking up on me. I was miserable. Life was unbearable at that point.

My mom was still disappointed in me, disappointed that her daughter didn't wait until marriage to have sex. My private emails and the knowledge of our almost overnight stay in a hotel room gave us away.

It wasn't just sex. It was love.

Just before the holidays Edward's parents left town for good, closing down his dad's practice there, I almost had a breakdown. It was final – no Cullen lived in my town; there was nothing holding him to that place. Just me and my messed up life with my overly controlling parents.

I began to wonder if I was worth it. If he had the chance to be with some college girl, what would hold him back? I was hundreds of miles away. How would I find out if he was with another girl?

Jealousy. It's a horrible thing. Horrible for one to feel that way and horrible for making other people have to prove themselves when it rears its ugly head.

.

Bella,

You haven't emailed me in days. I don't know what has put these thoughts in your head, but I have always been faithful to you. When I say you are it for me, I mean it.

You think I don't worry that you're getting hit on by all these high school assholes, while I'm away trying to get through school, which happens to be very far away from you? That I don't think about dropping everything and moving to Colorado to be near you? I would give up everything, Bella. But the one thing that keeps me going is knowing that I'm going to graduate with a degree that will ensure my ability to provide for you. My life revolves around you.

I think about taking you on normal dates when you move here.

I think about picking out a ring for you.

I think about how I should ask you to marry me one day. A big show, something spontaneous, or a quiet evening together?

I think about getting on your nerves when I burn our dinner in our apartment that we'll be sharing, while you're trying to study for exams.

I think about marrying you and buying you a home.

And then I worry that life is going to get in the way and you'll realize that I'm not worth it. That all this fighting with your parents and the worry you have of leaving home and not being supported by them at all is too much. The constant struggle for us to be together. Is it worth it?

Because right now... with you freaking out for no reason... I just don't feel worth it to you.

I don't know how else to put it clearly for you... but I love you, Bella. You are it for me. Stay strong and wait please? I promise once we're together, we'll never be apart and I'll make you happy, baby.

Always,

Edward

.

I broke the rules after that email.

With my parents still out, an empty house with an available phone and privacy, I forgot about the rules.

"Hello?" He answered on the first ring, sounding exhausted.

"Hi." I didn't even give myself a chance to think it through – what I was going to say after reading his sweet message.

"Baby? What's going on? How are you calling me?"

And God, it was indescribable what I felt at that moment. Hearing his voice for the first time in so many months. "I got your email, and I couldn't even... those things you said, Edward... I just..."

"You believe me, right? Everything I said was true, Bella," Edward said, rushing through his words as if I was going to hang up.

"Of course. And I'm so sorry for the way I've been acting. For that stupid email I sent to you before. I was so... so dumb," I explained, my throat constricting painfully as I tried not to cry. "I heard some girls talking about me, saying that you were probably messing around with college girls. I mean... you go to parties and get wasted... a girl comes onto you. What's holding you back? You did it in high school... and I'm so far away... I'd never find out. And it just worried me."

"Those girls are bitches. None of them know me like you do... and I would never hook up with some skank at a party, baby. I know that my past is shit, but I wasn't with you then, Bella. I'm in love with you, and I don't have any desire to be with anyone else."

"But college guys... they have sex. And you're... not."

"And I went sixteen years without it..." he said with a small chuckle. "I'm positive I can go without it for a year, baby. You're worth the wait, believe me."

Tears were flowing down my face and I was sure that he could hear the nasty sobbing hiccups through the phone. It was so embarrassing. "I'm sorry."

I hated that I had put him in this situation. He had to defend his actions and he hadn't even done anything wrong. I knew he wouldn't cheat on me, but when I heard Claire and her friends gossiping in the bathroom, I lost all sense of reason.

In small towns, everyone knows everything about you and somehow, they all found out that I'd been sneaking off to see Edward. His parents found out. My brothers found out. My so-called-friends found out. And my school counselor found out. She brought me into her office the first week of school to see if I needed to talk to her about anything. My dad thought she could "talk some sense" into me. Instead, she listened and encouraged me to go to the University of Texas.

"Don't apologize, sweet girl. You're under a lot of stress and it's a lot to handle, I know... but just talk to me, Bella. I love you. But I can't handle your silence. It just about killed me."

"I'm so sorry... I just, I was so scared and I had no one to talk to. It's just been so miserable here. And it's only Christmas! I still have another semester to get through before I can graduate and leave this stupid town. I hate it here!"

Okay, so that was the spiel of a dramatic teenager.

And Edward obviously thought so as he chuckled. "Baby, calm down. We'll get through it, okay? Just stay focused on school – that's what I'm doing. The better you do in school, the more scholarships you'll get... and then you'll be here with me. And I'll be sneaking into your dorm every night until you're a sophomore and we can get an apartment together. You'll see, Bella, everything will be just fine. Okay?"

"Okay," I whispered, wishing I could stay on the phone with him all night. But even ten minutes of a long distance phone call would send my mom into hysterics when she got the bill. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too... more than you can imagine."

"I miss you."

"Miss you, too. I can't wait to see you again."

"Everything is horrible here. I'm miserable."

"I know, Bell... just do as they say and know it's only temporary that we're apart."

"I better go. They'll be home soon."

"I hope you don't get in too much trouble for calling, but I'm so glad you did. Promise you'll go back to emailing me every day?"

"I will, I promise. I love you."

"Love you, too, baby."

-O-

When the bill came a few weeks later, it was no surprise that I was grounded for two weeks. Grounded from what? Grounded from having to spend time with my family after dinner? Sent to my room for punishment? That was more like a reward.

It only allowed me more time to think about how crazy my parents were being. I made a vow that I would never be so over-protective with my children. Ever.

My brothers blamed our parents' protectiveness of me on themselves, saying that they were horrible kids growing up, and my parents didn't want me to do anything dangerous like they did. But I wasn't doing anything dangerous by being in love with Edward. I could possibly understand where they were coming from if he was a bad kid, but he wasn't. He was responsible, determined and a gentleman.

Every day I held on to my anger for my parents. Every day until my mom came home from seeing her doctor, with tears in her eyes and my dad at her side, preparing to call my brothers. Things like family discussions about cancer and worrying if your mother is going to defy the odds and beat it or if she's going to die soon, make you let go of petty things. Guilt takes over and you realize you should let go of the animosity holding you back from being utterly happy and embracing what you have.

I was left with the question: how much heartache can one person handle in a lifetime?

-O-

Sorry for the delay.

Good news: we're back on a weekly updating schedule.

Bad news: we've hit another round of HF.

Good news: we're almost to the prologue and reunion time.

Bad news: i feel overly ridiculous for this good news/bad news stuff. i'm bored, sorry!

Oh, and even better news, my great friend/beta Jen328 is posting a new chapter of her story each week. It's called Following Faith and it's awesome. You will love Edward and her wonderful writing. Check it out - leave some reviews and show her some love. I'm a pre-reader and wow... I'm in love with this story.

Thanks to Jen328 for her super beta skills and to Teacher1209 and Jadsmama for their awesome pre-reader feedback.

See you next Tuesday. Thanks so much for reading!