OroIta- Immortality Entendres

"Hey, Itachi!" Something had been nagging at Deidara for a long time now, and he had finally pinpointed it. "I've got a question for you, 'un."

Itachi simply stared at him, which over the course of their relationship, Deidara had come to know as the sign to continue talking.

"Sasori told me Orochimaru left the organization because you, to quote 'turned him down.' I just wanted to know if that was true, 'un." Itachi stared at him for a bit longer, then nodded.

"It is. He wanted my body, but I said no." Deidara's mind went blank, then slowly crawled into the gutter.

"… What."

"He kept pestering me to let him take me, but I told him I didn't want to let him have what had been mine for all my life." Itachi sighed.

"You mean… That never happened to you before, 'un?"

Itachi gave him a blank look that smacked of 'duh.' "Obviously."

"I would have thought that other people might have wanted you.." Deidara made a mental note of the fact as blackmail material, then discarded it, figuring that if Itachi was so willing to tell him, it probably wouldn't bee too effective.

"If they did, they didn't say so." Itachi folded his arms, and due to the crinkling of his forehead, Deidara assumed he was frowning under his collar.

"Was there a particular reason you turned him down? I can imagine it would hurt a lot, 'un."

"He said that it would be over quickly, but knowing Orochimaru, he would probably drag it out for his own pleasure." Deidara shivered as something occurred to him.

"He's that good, 'un?" Itachi gave a little shrug.

"I wouldn't know. I've been saving myself for other things." Ohh, so that's why…

"Which one of you would you think would have been on top?" Upon wondering that, Deidara had a few mental images which made him hurriedly backpedal. "Uhmm… It's okay if you don't want to answer that one, 'un."

"That's an odd way to put it…" Itachi said, mostly to himself, then shook his head. "He would."

"From what I've heard, it's a pretty standard way to put it, 'un." Deidara said, hurrying to repress the next wave of mental images which had beset him.

"Wait, you know other people who do stuff like this?"

"Yeah, almost everyone I know does it. Are we talking about the same thing, 'un?"

"If you're talking about Orochimaru using my body as a vessel for his immortality jutsu…" Deidara opened his mouth several times, then closed it.

"I… Wasn't." Itachi promptly facepalmed.

"Well, what were you talking about?" He asked with a slight sigh.

"Um…" Several minutes, and a long, awkward explanation later, Deidara's face was red with embarrassment, and Itachi looked somewhere between "stunned" and "terrified."

"If you'll excuse me," he said, turning on his heels. "I am going to go drill a hole in my skull, and pour soap into it."

AN: My personal second favorite Orochimaru pairing. Yay! But without Orochimaru.. NOES! And now both Deidara and Itachi are scarred for life… Yay?

To I's that C: Thankyou. ^^ *Curtsies* I'm glad it didn't fall flat.

*Lightbulb* Oh yeah. There's a possibility that I'm not going to be able to update for the next minimum-2-maximum-7 days, because I'm going to be away. If I can get near my mom's laptop, I will. If not… :/