This chapter was both easy and hard to write but a pain to type.
And a little heads up the characters might seem out of character but I just want you to remember that strong emotions can make us forget who we are and act differently.
Ch. 14: Fleeting Emotions and Almost Confessions
Despite the chaos the battle generated it ended fairly quickly, once Laurent had taken control. Relief washed over everyone when they discovered that Robin was fine. Though the cheer was gone everyone returned to their carefree state, except for a few that volunteered to be on guard duty.
While those who had participated returned to their state of calm, those that were unfit now had time to sober up and panic. And when Chrom and Lissa learned of Robin's injury, a new battle started for her. Their loud booming voices and their stench of alcohol nearly had her upheaving several times. Panic kept them from understanding that a head injury took time to heal and that they were not helping. Eventually Laurent stepped in to save her.
Thanks to her injury she wasn't allowed to fall asleep in fear that she would never wake up. To ensure that she would remain awake all night long, many volunteered to keep her up much to her disdain. Morgan took the first shift, refusing to leave his mother's side after she finished her treatment.
Despite all his boast and claims to stay awake with her all night, he ended up crashing a few hours later. The stress of seeing his mother in that condition and lack of sleep from the night before had taken its toll but he still refused to leave. He was desperate to protect his mother but try as he may he couldn't stay awake. His stubbornness melted away when his mother started to hum a lullaby and he eventually allowed her to tuck him into her bed (he refused to leave her tent). He wasn't the type to get embarrassed over such a thing; he knew the other children would have probably liked to be tucked in as well (though Gerome might have been a different story).
Listening to his mother's humming he drifted off. Cleaning the little mess that they had made, Robin was unaware of her new sitter hovering at the tent's entrance. Gerome just watched as she sorted through everything in an attempt to distract herself and to stay away. Nervousness kept him from calling out nor did he even know what to say.
He volunteered feeling duty bounded because she got injured saving him but with everything that had happened before he was beyond nervous to be alone with her. Unable to muster up the courage and let her know of his presence, he just continued to watch. When he first laid eyes on her he realized she wasn't wearing her famous cloak and that it was the first time he saw her without it. He couldn't help but notice that she was much slimmer and more delicate looking without it. Before he would have reminded himself that she was anything but weak and frail but after that day's event he realized that she was indeed vulnerable and that terrified him.
Silently he watched as she tried to put a book on a giant stack of crates. Underestimating their height difference the book slide off the crate and out of her fingers and smacked her on the head; purely out of surprise she stumbled back and was holding her head. In terror he was at her side and wrapped an arm around her to steady her and inadvertently frightened her for a second. He put the book away for her and she was curiously watched him. Slowly his actions dawned on him and backed away apologizing.
They stood in awkward silence, or at least awkward to him. He tried to stay strong under her questioning gaze but that became harder and harder as the seconds ticked by. He was about to collapse under her stare when she offered him the spot, Morgan had occupied not too long ago, which he gratefully took.
Her stare persisted but soften greatly as she sat across from him on the floor. "With all the chaos, I never got to ask if you were alright." she asked as she poured him some water. He was confused but never voiced it. "I pushed you pretty hard and I heard you had a run in with a Risen Wyvern Lord while caring me."
Her concern only aggravated him and reminded him of something painful. She never listened to any of the warnings everyone told her and continued to throw herself in danger for the sake of protecting someone. It was a blow to his pride every time she protected him. Training day in and day out he tried to keep up with her and protect her but she always seemed to be just out of his reach. Today not only terrified him of the possibility of her dying was very real but proved that he still had a long way to go before he could protect her.
"Gerome, you're not hurt are you?"
"Of course not! You are! Thanks to my weakness!" He nearly shouted, once he lost what little control he had left on his emotions. She glanced over her shoulder to see if her son had awoken, he didn't. "I train every day to get stronger to protect you and yet…" He wasn't even aware of what he had just admitted out loud.
"Gerome?" Robin called for him softly that it broke him out of his emotional haze. His cheeks burned when he realized that he just confessed. They were silent. He regretted speaking and was planning to never do it again. She was quiet, waiting to see if he would elaborate, he refused too.
"Thank you." Those two little words crushed him. He felt his stomach sink to the bottom of a pit and wished he could join it. He thought the pain of keeping his feelings bottled up was terrible but the feeling of rejection was so much worse. Not once could he conceive traveling back in time as a good thing until that moment.
"It means a lot that you care," she continued and it only made him feel worse, "I'm truly blessed to have people like you, Chrom, and Morgan in my life."
"I'll protect you and everyone!" Her confidence confused him. She wasn't sounding like the usually Robin, who became a flustered mess at the mere mention of anything romantic or love revolving around her. Removing his stare from the floor he looked at her. The smile she wore really started to make him question things. Did she understand him? Suddenly he remembered his father telling him that Robin was the densest woman he had ever met when it came to romance. As he listened to her babble on about how she was going to keep everyone safe he was grateful for her cluelessness but it also greatly frustrated him.
Soon she had started to drift to a part he didn't like. She started to talk about sacrificing herself if need be and he wanted to hear no more of it. Holding back his thoughts he didn't dare speak less he inadvertently confess again and have her completely miss it. Desperately, he wanted to change the subject but to what? Another memory surfaced the one where he had made a deal with her to share their troubles. He didn't really want to talk but he wanted to know what had been bothering her as of late.
"Do you remember the deal we made?" He asked interrupting her. He realized too late that he had cut her off in the middle of a new topic. Cursing inwardly he knew it was too late to take back his words.
"Deal?" she echoed as she tried to recall all the memories she had with him. He hoped that she wouldn't remember but it quickly vanished when he saw her eyes flicker with recognition. "Oh yes, that deal!" She paused to look at him as if to completely confirm her memory. "Do you wish to talk?"
Gods knew that the wyvern rider didn't want too. He didn't want to burden her with his stories and see her eyes full of regret like his mother's were when he accidently spoke of his past. As much as he tried to think no new topics came to mind. Reluctantly he nodded yes.
They sat in silence, neither one wanted to be the first to speak. It continued for a few more seconds and Gerome took the time to think about something-anything. He wished he had an ounce of Inigo's ability to talk. "You brought it up so you go first." Unfortunately for him she had tied him down to their current topic.
Taking a few deep breaths he ready himself to talk about things he never wanted too. Despite not wanting to do any of that he removed his mask, knowing full well he couldn't hide behind it during the conversation. He had only planned to speak with as little detail as possible but the more he spoke the more vivid his stories became. Soon he was unable to hold himself back and was telling her everything of his past-her possible future. He even told her things he had never told another. Tears streaked his face as he became overwhelmed with grief.
She sat in complete silence and listened, just like she had done with the other children. Once he had finished speaking she had offered him a hug but he refused, which wasn't a surprise. It took him a few minutes to regain his composure. He was surprised at how it felt like a great burdened had been lifted from his shoulders.
"I've told you of my woes, now tell me yours," he prompted after a couple of minutes of silence.
She cleared her throat once, twice, thrice before finally finding the courage to speak. "I have nightmares," she whispered. She laughed at herself; after listening to his horrid past her troubles sounded so childish. He made no sounds, showing her the same respect she had showed him.
Taking a deep breath she continued, "I'm not sure what they are but I think they are of the future." He shifted a little but said nothing. 'I see battle after battle with Risen. My comrades-friends-dying one after the other and I'm never there. I'm always away overseeing the battle," she chocked and debated wither or not she should say the next part, "I…In my dreams I…" She couldn't bring herself to look at him anymore, "I always take pleasure in their deaths…"
Gerome remained silence, making her more uncomfortable. Unable to take the silence anymore she voiced the question that kept her silent for so long, "I'm a horrible person, aren't I?"
Caught off guard he gasped, worrying her. "Of course not!" he blurted out. It brought her some comfort and she returned her gaze onto him; though, her stress and fear did take its toll on her. Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes but she didn't cry nor did she even acknowledge them but that didn't make Gerome less uncomfortable.
Silence befell them-suffocating them. Her gaze once again left him as her thoughts consumed her. It didn't take a genius to know that his statement didn't dissolve her doubts or fears. But what was he supposed to say or do? He wasn't the comforting type, everyone knew that. He was sure what he did last time wouldn't comfort her this time nor did he have the confidence that he would be able to let her go.
Putting on a fake smile she tried to change the subject and lift the mood. It didn't work as he was determined to stick with their current, painful topic and help her; after all that was the point of their talk. But how was he supposed to make her feel better?
He knew talking was the best thing for her. It would help her work through her issues, even if she was reluctant too, and boy was she reluctant too. She refused to say more than she already had so he needed to think of ways to garnish her to talk. He wished he knew how to start a conversation.
The mood was unbearably heavy. He racked his brain to find the words he needed to ask and the courage to speak them. As usually she was the first to make the move.
"…So, is there anyone you like?" She wasn't sure what compelled her to ask that of all things. Losing out to the mood and her fears she asked something she regretted and feared for a possible answer. She wasn't sure why she feared him saying yes but she didn't want to figure out why. She cursed herself.
He didn't give into his shock; he wouldn't allow himself too. Now wasn't the time to wallow in his misery and struggle with a reply. She was going to talk and he was going to make sure of it.
Slamming his hands on the ground he jolted her out of her thoughts. Briefly he looked at Morgan to make sure he didn't wake the boy. "Don't change the subject," He practically ordered. Inwardly cursing she looked away, mumbling new ideas. "Robin." He stressed his voice. Sighing, she returned her gaze to him. "Something is obviously bothering you so talk." Again she looked away, when her confidence vanished.
"Won't you please talk to me," he mumbled and he cursed himself for sounding so weak.
Robin really didn't want to talk. She wasn't even sure if she should have told him her fears in the first place; she hadn't even told Chrom. Besides she wasn't sure if she shouldn't tell him her theory that she was possibly from the future and the one responsible for Chrom's death. No, there was no way she could tell him. She was far too afraid.
Weakly, she shook her head no. Pushing his feelings aside he pressed on. No matter what he would say to entice her she would just meekly shake her head. Blinded by determination he didn't realize that every time she refused he would close the distance to strengthen his words. Finally when they were just a few inches apart did she beg him to stop and he did.
The part of his mind that was aware of their closeness screamed at him to back up but her smile of gratitude kept him in place. Her warm breath cascaded against his cold skin reviving the strange sensation, she had made him feel earlier that day. He could feel his control over himself weaken and he didn't care.
Twice in one day he found himself alone with the woman he desired and again they were so close. He couldn't help but notice that she wasn't backing away and that spurred him on. Their fingers brushed as she adjusted herself into a more comfortable position and the contact lit an inferno in his stomach. Finally he gave in.
He moved so slowly, as to not chase her off. Their lips were so close but he paused to give her one last chance to change her mind or even realized what was going on. She didn't do anything so he took it as a sign to continue.
Taking a deep breath he gave into his desires. His lips didn't come into contact with hers like he wanted; instead, they brushed against her cheek. Burying his frustration deep within him, he didn't budge. He knew she had only reacted to the noise of the tent's flaps opening. Normally out of embarrassment he would had immediately pulled away and wallowed in shame but he didn't care. He was so close that he wasn't about to give up because of someone's intrusion.
"Laurent?" Out of pure reaction Gerome had immediately pulled away in a flash at the name of the one person he didn't want there. In shame he couldn't look at the other man; in silence he put his mask on.
"What brings you here?" Her voice was so steady that he feared that she wasn't even aware of what he was doing. How clueless could one person be?
It was deathly silence. Laurent's judgmental stare bore into them, Gerome refused to look at anyone, and Robin desperately racked her brain for anything. Morgan stirred a little grabbing Robin's attention. Gerome saw it as the perfect opportunity to flee; it wasn't until he shoved passed Inigo that he and Robin became aware of the other man.
"Gerome!" she called for him but he pressed on as if he didn't hear her. Inigo looked at Robin and Laurent before going after his friend. Once he was able to reach his friend the wyvern rider growled and that was Inigo's cue to give him some time.
With Gerome gone the massive blush she had been fighting spread across her face like an infestation. In a pathetic attempt she tried to hide it by covering her face with her hand. Such an obvious display was impossible to miss (especially when the mage had been starring at her) it stirred something bitter within him.
Not even waiting for her to let him in, he abruptly sat down in Gerome's spot. He started to shift around snapping her out of her chaotic thoughts. Silently she watched as he set up a game of chess (he had named the little strategy game, she invented, for her); he stubbornly refused to look at her the entire time.
Once the pieces were set he gestured for her to make the first move. She didn't move, instead, she continued to look at him in silence. Neither of them moved so they just sat in silence. Finally annoyance compelled him to make the first move; a bad one, he realized too late.
"Laurent?' she finally spoke and it only aggravated him more. Gritting his teeth he made another gesture for her to move, again she didn't. "There's something bothering you." He said nothing. Sighing, she moved an archer into position to take out the Pegasus Knight, he had moved earlier.
Fighting back an annoyed grunt, he moved a cavalier in hopes of salvaging his last move. It didn't work when she put a myrmidon to block its path. She had wanted to make a joke about the myrmidon by using one of Owain's catch phrases but the intense mood rendered her unable to speak it. He chastised himself for anther foolish move as he watched his newly moved mage fell to her archer.
Cursing inwardly he moved another piece only for it to fall to one of hers. He always believed he had a good control over his emotions, like his mother, but as he watched himself fail miserably at the game he knew his beliefs were a lie. There he was losing to a woman suffering a head injury and not long before was in a chaotic state of emotions and the only thing wrong with him was jealous, something he shouldn't be feeling.
Going against his better judgment he glanced at her. Instead of her watching the board like he hoped she was watching him. He managed to keep himself from quickly looking away like an embarrassed village maiden but he wasn't able to prevent himself from making another rash move. Briefly she looked at the board before making her own genius move. He couldn't ignore the distance between his talents and hers were vast.
"Laurent?" she asked once the game was over, with her not losing a single unit.
Once again he refused to respond to her and set up another match. The silenced settled around them again as their stalemate persisted. With another sigh she began the new game. That pattern continued until the fifth and final game he lost and only because she refused to start another.
"Laurent, talk!" the tactician ordered when her patience was at its limit.
He didn't want to address his emotions. During the past five games he was far to consumed with jealousy to think of about the others. In an attempt to prolong that discussion he made his first thought out move that night but unfortunately for him she didn't budge. He wouldn't look at her and continue to stare at the bored, as if it would make a move for him; all the while her gaze bore into him.
She called for him but he didn't acknowledge it. Again she called with a bit more force but only got the same lack of reaction. Shaking her head she pushed the bored aside to close the distance. She reached out to touch his cheek but he flinched out her reach.
"I apologize," he mumbled.
Finally he couldn't run from it, he had to face his emotions. He had loved Robin but thought-strongly wanted to believe-he was over her. She had never shown him any interest outside of a student-teacher relationship. He had moved on, he was with Noire now. He had no right-shouldn't-be jealous. He growled as he recalled Robin's and Gerome's earlier closeness.
Startled, she yet again called for him but that time out of concern. Sighing he clasped his face into his hands. Gerome was his friend, one of the few people able to put up with him. The mage had pride himself on being able to notice minute details but yet somehow he had missed Gerome's attraction to Robin. He felt both anger and shame at that.
While he wallowed in his misery she managed to place a hand on his shoulder; he flinched but she held strong. Her eyes were full of concern but to him they were indifferent. She didn't look at him like the way Noire did, full of love. While Robin's eyes had more emotions for him than most people, it still wasn't the same.
"Are you alright?" she asked as she looked into his eyes as if she was trying to show him how different her eyes were to his girlfriend's.
"Robin…," he started. He wanted to say something to comfort her but he couldn't think of anything to say. In truth he didn't want to comfort her because he selfishly knew that her concern would have her constantly thinking about him and only him.
He didn't want to help but at the same time he wanted too. The desperation in her eyes nearly had him telling her that everything was perfectly fine, even if it was far from it. Eventually his internal struggle had him blurting out something he regretted, "What do you think of me?"
Startled she sat back, giving him the unwanted space. Blinking she tried to register the question. Ultimately she said the first thing that came to mind, "A handsome, intelligent, young man." That was not the answer he was hoping for.
With it already said, he decided to add to it. "Is there anything else?" She blinked a few times, confusion very evident in her features. "I…I mean do you see me as a man and you as a…woman?"
Her eyes fluttered as she tried to comprehend the strange question. Seconds ticked by before she finally got it and a massive blush stained her cheeks. She instantly became a stuttering mess trying to form a coherent sentence, a sentence she had no idea what it was about.
Laurent's angered returned at not being able to get a clear answer. That night would be a night of regrets for him as he let his emotions get the better of him. "What about Gerome?" Upon the mention of his name, she stopped her rambling and that only infuriated him more. "Do you love him?"
She was silent for a split second before she started to stutter nonsense at a much more alarming pace and higher pitch. Her blush spread to her ears and neck. And on top of her stuttering she started to make bazar gestures. Her reactions were much more dramatic that time.
He wasn't sure if it was just because he had added fuel to the previous fire or if it because he mentioned Gerome for her strange reaction. His jealous mind concluded it was the later. He needed her to forget the wyvern rider and only think of him. He decided the best course of action was to do what Gerome couldn't, kiss her.
His sudden closeness stopped her from whatever she was doing. She was a prisoner to his intense gaze. He didn't move slowly like Gerome had done, he wasn't going to let this chance slip away. He was going to kiss her.
As he closed the distance Morgan stirred awake calling for his mother. Instantly she was at his side, comforting her son. The mage wasn't angry-not anymore- instead he was calm. He watched as she assured her son that she was still there and wasn't going anywhere. Then it finally dawned on him that whoever won over Robin's heart was most likely Morgan's father.
Back to his senses he spent the remainder of the night studding with Morgan and Robin. With that realization he became much more aware of the boy. Both being her students they had spent a great deal of time together but he never thought anything more of the aspiring tactician than just a fellow student.
With the fun of studding and games the night had quickly passed without anyone noticing. Upon morning Maribelle came and kicked the men out. As she gave the white haired woman a checkup she also gave a very stern lecture that had the other woman rolling her eyes on more than one occasion. The festivities were done for the night as the healer order Robin to sleep, which she happily did.
Hm, I don't really have anything else to add to this.
Last time I said I only had a few more chapters to go, we shall see how many that few is. I don't plan to add more than 5 chapters…hopefully.
As usual, reviews are greatly appreciated and help motivate me to keep writing.
Please give me some!