The Place You Alone Can Fill

By AmboDriver

Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything. I'm just playing around with them. They are owned by Shondaland, ABC, and probably a lot of other really rich folks.

A/N: I have a horrible case of writer's block going right now and between that and life being on the sucky side, it's taken me a while to get something down for this story. Sorry. I think it's pretty obvious that at this rate you shouldn't expect quick updates. And I'm definitely going to end this story quicker than I had originally planned or I'll still be writing early to mid-season 9 time frame and the show will be finishing season 10. So, things will start moving pretty quickly from here on out.

So, when I have writer's block, I tend toward something simple, so nothing too complicated in this chapter. Just lots of Calzona. Hope you all enjoy and let me know if you do (or if you don't…be constructive and I can take it).

Chapter 14

Callie smiled brightly as she opened the apartment door to find Bailey standing outside with Sofia squirming in her arms. "Hey there baby girl," she said in that sing song voice she reserved for her daughter. "Did you have fun with Aunt Miranda?"

"Mommy!" Sofia squealed as she reached out for Callie.

"She was an angel," Bailey said as she passed the toddler off to Callie. "I think Tuck is in love."

"Oh?" Callie said with a broad smile as she looked down at Sofia, who was playing with her mother's hair now that she was safely in her arms. "Do you have a boyfriend already?"

She wasn't sure if Sofia really understood her, but the way her daughter giggled and then buried her head into her shoulder sure made her think she might have.

"Well, Torres, anytime you need me to watch her for you two, just let me know." Bailey held out the Dora backpack that Sofia took with her to daycare every day. "Really, anytime."

"Thanks," Callie answered as she offered her friend a smile. "You've been such a help through all of this."

Miranda shrugged and let out a deep breath. "How are…things?"

Callie let out a dry puff of laughter at Bailey's hesitant word choice. "Things are a little better. There's still a long road ahead and I'm not sure where that road is headed. But I figure as long as we're going somewhere that's better than not going anywhere, right?" She didn't want to think about the forks in the road ahead or whether she and Arizona would always be on the same path. It was always in the back of her mind, but the reality of it still scared the shit out of her, even if she had sworn to herself that she would accept whatever ended up being best for her wife and daughter, even above herself.

Bailey nodded, her brown eyes going soft as she reached up to ruffle Sofia's hair. "Like I said, if you or Arizona need anything, I'm here."

Callie felt the emotion catch at her throat so she just nodded and stood in the door to watch Miranda give a final nod before turning and disappearing around the corner toward the elevator. With a final deep breath, she looked down into her daughter's brown eyes. "Sorry I had to take you back from your new boyfriend, but I think it's time we work on getting this family of ours back together, huh? You going to help me?"

Sofia blinked up at her and then giggled. "Help!" she said as she excitedly kicked her legs. Sofia loved to help, even though her efforts rarely did that.

"Okay," Callie said as she leaned in to whisper in the toddler's ear, "so you need to be really good with Mama for a while, okay?"

"Mama?" The girl's eyes got big and she looked frantically over Callie's shoulder, her kicking becoming even more frantic. "Mama!" she demanded.

"Shh, she's sleeping right now." Callie mentally kicked herself for mentioning Arizona to their daughter. She should have known Sofia would get excited about seeing her. She looked over at the bedroom door, grateful that it was shut, and then quickly moved into the living room and grabbed the remote for the TV off the coffee table. "How about we watch some Dora?"

"No," Sofia said with a frown on her face as she looked over at the closed bedroom door. "Mama!" she said insistently.

Callie ignored her demand and quickly pulled up an episode of Dora that she knew her daughter hadn't seen yet. She turned the volume down low enough that it hopefully wouldn't wake up her wife and then sat down on the couch, pulling Sofia up into her lap. "Let's see what trouble Dora and her friends get up to, huh?" She pointed at the TV and was relieved when Sofia looked at it, her attention quickly becoming enthralled by the cartoon.

Callie leaned back and shut her eyes, feeling all the tension of the day—hell of the last two months—start to seep out of her. As Sofia snuggled deeper into her arms, she smiled. For the first time in a long time her whole family was home and while she had no idea how this all would turn out, she was going to enjoy that fact while she could.

Arizona sighed heavily as she tightened the Velcro strap around her waist and shifted her weight onto the prosthetic to gauge the stability. She finally felt well rested and the steady headache and nausea that had been present since she had stopped taking the oxy now seemed to be resolved. Maybe this damned withdrawal is finally done. She could only hope, because she knew she needed to work on getting on with her life, whatever that meant, and spending her days in bed feeling like shit was not conducive to that.

She grabbed her cane and started to head out of the bedroom, a small smile edging to her lips as she realized how easy she was now finding walking with just the cane. I shouldn't have to feel good about this. The thought instantly swiped the smile from her face as a familiar irritation filled her. "Damn," she whispered to herself as she realized how her mood had swung so quickly. It was just so frustrating to try to be positive and fight against the negative thoughts that so often seemed to come out of nowhere.

With a sigh and a shake of her head, she made her way out into the living room, coming to a sudden stop just past the door as she took in the scene on the couch. Callie and Sofia were sitting on the couch, both sound asleep, with Sofia snuggled tightly into Callie's arms. For just a split second, this was her life again, this was her family. She didn't think about her leg or how Callie and Alex had missed the embolism and amputated when it wasn't necessary. She didn't think about the drugs or the withdrawal or the knowledge that she had been vulnerable to addiction. She didn't think about Brandon and Rob or the fact that the young man was in intensive care waiting to wake up and be arrested for dealing drugs. No, for that one pristine moment, she was where she wanted to be and this was the family she wanted to spend her life with. This was all that mattered and it hit her like a lightning strike.

She took a step toward them, wanting nothing more than to sit down on the coffee table right across from them and study their faces so she could memorize this scene. But then as she put all her weight on her left foot, her brain clicked in a moment too late, and she started to fall, unable to catch herself before the prosthetic buckled under her and she crashed to the floor. "Shit!" she cried out as she pounded into the hardwood floor, the impact vibrating up through her arms and shoulders and shooting down into her back.

"What?" Callie's panicked sleep-disturbed voice was soon joined by Sofia crying at the surprise.

"It's okay. I'm okay," Arizona said as she shook her head to try to clear it before pulling herself back up to her feet with help of the couch. She looked over and saw the concern on Callie's face. "I stepped without thinking."

"Okay," Callie answered before turning her attention to Sofia, who was really starting to cry hysterically. "Hey, honey, it's okay. Nothing's wrong. It's okay." She looked up at Arizona, a hint of helplessness in her eyes.

Arizona went over to sit on the couch next to them. "Here, let me try." She forced a smile onto her face to try to reassure Callie as she took Sofia into her arms. She then focused on her daughter. "Hey there, sweetie. It's okay. Mama just tripped and fell. I'm sorry if I scared you." She pulled the toddler tight into her arms and ran her hand up and down her small back, feeling the heaving sobs shake her entire torso.

She continued to comfort Sofia and it slowly worked. The gulping sobs quickly became whimpering cries until finally those brown eyes that reminded her so much of Callie looked up at her through the tears. "Mama otay?"

"Yeah, baby girl," she said before placing a kiss on her temple. "I'm okay. Sometimes even adults fall down and go boom."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Callie asked as she got up and picked up the cane that had been left in the middle of the floor.

"Yeah. My pride is more hurt than anything."

Callie let out an audible sigh. "You have nothing to be ashamed about, Arizona. I can only imagine how hard it is to walk on one of those. I've seen a lot of amputees in my day, and you're way above the curve on how well you're doing. And I'm not just blowing smoke up your rear to make you feel better either." She placed the cane against the arm of the couch where Arizona would be able to reach it. "I'm really proud of you."

Arizona's first reaction was to bite back a nasty retort, but she stopped herself and just nodded. "Thanks."

"So", Callie said as she moved into the kitchen, "are you hungry at all?"

"Starving actually."

"Really? That's great," Callie said as she moved to the fridge. "I can cook something."

Arizona thought about it for a moment. "Let's just order a pizza."

Callie's smile grew as she picked up the phone. "Sounds good."

Arizona then returned her attention to Sofia, bouncing her with her right leg to get her attention. "So, Miss Sofia, did you have fun with Bailey and Tuck?"

"Tuck!" She giggled and then quickly was distracted by playing with Arizona's hair.

"Bailey said they really hit it off. I think she's got a boyfriend," Callie explained as she dialed the phone.

"Oh, an older man, huh?" She laughed and closed her eyes for a moment, again reveling in the moment and not thinking about all the other shit going on. This can be your life again, if you just learn to forgive her and make the best of it. Not everything has to be bad. There can be times like this where things feel like before the crash. She knew she wanted to try. She might have at first promised she would just to get her wife off her back, but she was slowly realizing that not only did she want to try, but she had to. No amount of anger toward Callie was going to give her back her leg. All it was going to do was hurt all three of them more. She really didn't have anything else to lose except maybe a chance at finding happiness again.

She looked down at Sofia, who had turned and was now snuggled into the crook of Arizona's right arm, her eyes fixed on the TV. You promised Mark you would take care of them. She's lost her dad already, don't let her lose you, too. Her decision made, she pulled her phone out of the pocket of her sweats and quickly opened up the email app. She shot a request to her shrink to schedule them bi-weekly appointments for the next few weeks and send her the information she had offered a few weeks earlier about the support groups that she thought Arizona would benefit from.

When she finished, she noticed Callie watching her. "Just working on scheduling some appointments." She realized that she wasn't being fully truthful and knew that if there was any hope they could repair their marriage, she would have to be open with Callie. "My psychiatrist," she added.

"Good, great," Callie said, and it was apparent that she was holding back her enthusiasm some. "So, pizza's ordered," she said as she came back into the living room, handing Arizona a bottle of water and then placing a sippy cup into Sofia's hands before sitting down on the opposite couch. "Have you thought about maybe switching your prosthetist to David Moore? I mean, it'd be more convenient and he's amazing. Really. He's done some amazing work with my patients."

Arizona's answer was instantaneous. "No." When Callie lifted her eyebrow in question, Arizona let out a deep breath. "I don't want to be there anymore than I need to until I can walk better. I don't need to be a spectacle."

"You know every single person in that hospital, right down to the cleaning crew, just wants what's best for you."

"They'll still stare," Arizona said, her voice pleading just a little for understanding.

Callie nodded and let out a deep breath. "I hate to tell you this, but people are going to stare, more often than not. But you want to know what will stop them from staring?"

"What?"

"Familiarity. The more everyone at the hospital sees you, the less you walking will be a novelty. It'll be normal. And then the hospital will be a pretty safe place for you. You might as well start now."

Arizona knew there was no use arguing with Callie right then. "I'll think about it."

"Good," Callie said, a smile coming to her lips. "Do you think you can handle getting the pizza? I want to get a quick shower in."

"Sure."

Callie offered her a small smile and then silently went into their bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

When she was gone, Arizona let out a sigh of relief. She leaned back on the couch and reached up to absently play with Sofia's hair while her eyes drifted to the TV, not really taking in the cartoon that was playing as her mind started tumbling over itself. Stop. Just stop. She's trying to help so don't get mad at her. She let out a deep breath. Work on the present and not getting mad at her for every little thing and then you can work on the biggie. Just let it go.

And somehow she did and that brought a smile to her face as she opened her eyes to watch cartoons with her daughter.

"Callie?"

Callie dabbed at her face with a towel as she walked out into the bedroom. "Yeah?"

Arizona was sitting up in bed, pillows piled up behind her. She patted at Callie's side of the bed. "Can you sit down for a moment?"

Callie felt her heart speed up a little. Anytime Arizona wanted to talk, Callie was waiting for a shoe to drop or come out of nowhere and slam her in the head. But she couldn't deny any chance they had to talk, even if she was terrified of the outcome. She moved around the bed and sat down at the foot, pulling her legs to cross in front of her. "I'm sitting," she said expectantly.

It was only then that she noticed Arizona was playing with her wedding ring, running it between her fingers. When she had left it on Arizona's dresser, Callie had been hopeful her wife would want to wear it soon, but the realist in her head knew it was likely to take weeks at best. Now as she saw how Arizona looked down at it, Callie felt the bile start to sting at her throat. What if she was never going to put it back on?

Arizona looked up and she let out a deep breath. "You know how I said I wanted to try to fix everything between us? Well, when I said that, I have to admit I was only partially truthful. I mostly wanted to get you off my back about, well, everything."

Callie nodded, feeling the lump in her throat growing. "Okay," she managed to get out past it.

Arizona's fingers stopped playing around with the ring as her eyes fell to it. She then slid it back onto her left hand. "I want to try now," she said quietly as her eyes lifted almost hesitantly to look at Callie.

Callie's eyes moved between Arizona's hand and her face then back again. She couldn't believe what she had just seen. There were definitely times when she was reasonably sure she would never see that ring back on Arizona's finger and yet there it was. "Arizona," she started but then her voice cracked as she felt the emotion overcome her. She could feel tears stinging at her eyes as she looked up at her wife. My wife. She still wants to be my wife.

"This doesn't mean all is forgiven, Callie. I still need to work on that." She looked up at the ceiling and it was only then that Callie noticed the tears starting to form in those blue eyes. "I mean, I know in my head why you made the call and I don't blame you for that. I would have done the same thing, I'm sure. But I still feel angry for some reason. It's going to take me some time and hard work to put that behind me. But I can definitely say that I want to do that now. For the first time since I woke up after the amputation, I feel like I can be happy again someday. And I know that I want that."

"I…" Callie wiped at her eyes and took a deep breath to try to calm all the emotions raging through her. "Arizona, you don't know how happy that makes me."

Arizona started rolling her ring around her finger with her right hand. "But, Callie, I need you to be one hundred percent honest with me. Are you, well, do you…" She stopped and her eyes fell to the bed.

Callie had known Arizona for a long time but ever since the amputation, she had found that she couldn't read her wife like she used to. "You can ask me anything. You know that."

Her eyes never left the quilt as she asked, "Are you still attracted to me?"

"What?" Callie could barely believe the question, but then again it was understandable. Arizona's body image was certainly suffering post-amputation. "Arizona, look at me." She waited for her wife to take a deep breath and then lift hesitant blue eyes. "You are beautiful and amazing and of course I'm still attracted to you. And I promise you, when you are ready, I will show you, every day for the rest of our lives, okay?" She didn't see any reaction from Arizona and so she rolled her eyes and laughed quietly. "You will always be the most beautiful, desirable person—man or woman—I have ever known. You're my wife and I want you to be my wife, in every sense of the word, until death do us part. Which I really hope isn't until we're both so old and gray that we look like a pair of Shar Pei dogs."

That made Arizona laugh and she reached up to wipe at her eyes. "Thanks."

"And I get that you might not be ready to believe that," Callie added when she saw a slight frown come to her wife's lips.

Arizona laughed then. "It might take a while."

"Like I said, every day for the rest of our lives. And anything else you need me to do, I'm there." Callie's eyes went back down to the ring on Arizona's finger. "And the only thing I need from you is that you talk to me. Okay? Silence is what is killing us."

"I know." Arizona took a deep breath and then seemed to push her emotions away. "I'm tired, Callie. And it might be a little while until I'm ready for you to sleep here. I'm sorry."

"No worries," she said as she got up and moved over to the bedroom door. She then paused and looked back at her wife, feeling a smile tug at her lips. "I love you, Arizona."

Arizona's eyes shot up to her and there was a momentary flash of fear that crossed her face before it dissipated into something more perplexing. "I know. And, Callie?"

"Yeah?"

A small smile tugged at the corner of Arizona's mouth. "I may be mad at you, Callie, but I love you, too."

A weight instantly fell from Callie's chest and she smiled. "Thank you," she said quietly before leaving the room and letting the door shut behind her. She went over and sat down on the couch, her smile just growing and growing. "Did that just happen?" Her eyes went to the closed door before she got to her feet and danced around for a few seconds, needing to somehow get all the emotions out of her system before they overwhelmed her. When she was breathing hard, she fell back onto the couch. "Holy shit. That really just happened."

TBC…