A/N: This is dedicated to my amazing readers and the response I got to my last chapter. I've never felt such motivation to write before! Thank you so much for your thoughts and support.
A big thanks to TARDIS_Girl91011 for Beta'ing this for me before I updated. She did a terrific job and I hope it will make this chapter all the more enjoyable. Please read, review and most of all enjoy! Xxx
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Chapter Thirteen – The Ball
As she enjoyed the splendour of the ballroom, Lizzy smiled as she realized she might really enjoy herself this evening. The house was filled with ladies, gentleman, and officers who were greeting each other warmly and helping themselves to the many refreshments available. She had only just arrived with her younger sister, who had decided arriving fashionably late would be a splendid idea. She was filled with confidence wearing the same white dress she had worn to the Netherfield ball, the only dress of the kind that she'd brought with her on her trip to the Lake District. One of the house maids had been able to style her hair for her, adding small beads and flowers to it. That, fashioned with her new jewellery, had made Lizzy excited despite the circumstances.
As soon as she arrived with her sister, they had found their Aunt and Uncle in the main ball room then helped themselves to glasses of punch. They were introduced to some members of Brighton's local society and the Forster's general acquaintances. Lydia was already well known in their principal social circle and didn't hesitate in including her older sister in conversations. Lizzy was polite and entertaining to all that she encountered but continued to look around the room for two particular gentlemen, for very different reasons.
Mr. Wickham had been the first to appear. Situated in a large group of officers who were talking loudly and merrily, he met their conversation with pleasure but didn't contribute often. His eyes were constantly in her direction, but Lizzy did everything in her power to prevent herself looking back, refusing to acknowledge him. Lizzy had not yet seen Mr. Darcy and she grew worried that perhaps he was going to be absent for the evening. But although she knew his uneasiness with people he didn't know, he wouldn't be so impolite while being a guest to not attend a ball when invited. Yet Mr. Wickham's presence might cause him to act differently.
Lizzy smiled broadly when Mr. Darcy appeared from behind some gentlemen coming into the ballroom from the main hall. His expression was his usual seriousness, but Lizzy was warmed by his expression as she knew it was his own self-consciousness. What she used to find so unattractive was now endearing and she was drawn to him. Lizzy walked directly over to him, leaving Lydia with two young female friends and crossing the room to where he was standing.
When Mr. Darcy saw her approach, he looked down at her wrists. He smiled when he saw Lizzy was wearing the bracelets and she couldn't help but smile back.
Despite guilt dwelling in her stomach, Lizzy felt admiration as she stood in front of him and curtsied as he bowed to her.
"Good evening, Mr. Darcy," she greeted warmly. "I see you have joined us."
"Miss Bennett," he answered his expression more formal. "Did you expect otherwise?"
"Not at all," Elizabeth reassured. "I am just acquainted with you enough to know that you don't possess the talent of conversing easily with people you don't know."
"I felt inclined to take your advice, but it is difficult in completely new and indifferent society." Mr. Darcy's posture was strong and proud, Lizzy now wondering if this was his way of hiding signs of vulnerability and uneasiness. She moved and stood next to him as close as was appropriate.
"Yes I have to agree," she answered and saw his surprised expression. "When it's not your design to meet new people and socialise, there can be nothing worse than an occasion where you are forced to do so," Lizzy explained. "Our situation at present is unique, but I don't like being forced to do anything."
"You are immediately inclined to do the opposite of what is desired," Mr. Darcy agreed and Lizzy nodded with a smile.
There was a moment of silence before Mr. Darcy added, "We neither of us perform for strangers."
"Ladies and gentlemen," bellowed Colonel Forster over the crowded room. "I beg you make room on the floor; the musicians are about to begin playing the first dance."
The room instantly filled with excitement as the guests rearranged their positions in the room to make a large enough space for the couples to assemble.
Elizabeth was immediately approached by a young officer she had been introduced to not ten minutes ago by Lydia. "If you're not otherwise engaged, would you have the first dance with me Miss Bennet?"
A small part of her realized she had been waiting and hoping Mr. Darcy would ask her, but the young officer, Mr. Reeds, had gotten there first. If Mr. Darcy had intended on asking her at all, that is. Lizzy felt she was probably being too optimistic.
"Thank you," she replied with a smile, and took his hand. Lizzy glanced at Mr. Darcy and saw his nonchalant expression as he bowed his head politely to her and walked towards her Aunt and Uncle.
Lizzy had the first two dances with Mr. Reeds; he was a very good dancer and she enjoyed his company. After the second dance, they parted and Lizzy walked over to Lydia, who had just finished dancing with Mr. Denny. When she reached her, Lizzy was surprised by the look of admiration she saw on Mr. Denny's face as he escorted Lydia from the dance floor. He was always a pleasant young man who seemed to like Lydia when they were in Meryton, but Mr. Wickham's charm and gallant manner must have overshadowed him.
Lydia saw Lizzy approaching and rushed forward to take her arm. "Isn't this a splendid evening, Lizzy? I told you it would be! I see you dancing with Mr. Reeds; I knew you would take a fancy to him!"
"Indeed he is a very good dancer," Lizzy said with a smile as Lydia guided her over to the punch table. "Mr. Denny is a good dancer too," she added as her sister poured two glasses and handed one to Lizzy.
"Yes, he is so sweet," Lydia sighed. "But I'm afraid I can't see any other men now I know where my heart belongs."
Lizzy followed her younger sister's gaze to Mr. Wickham, who was unfortunately walking towards them, thus giving no time for Lizzy to speak to her sister about her last comment. Lizzy took a sip of her punch and took her eyes off Mr. Wickham, instinctively looking for Mr. Darcy in the crowded room. His tall figure could be seen facing her direction and speaking to Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, his eyes not looking back at her. He appeared to be interested in the conversation and was only looking between the husband and wife.
As Wickham approached Lizzy smiled politely at him, telling herself it was important that she had the upper hand and there was no need to be hostile. "Miss Elizabeth, Miss Lydia," he greeted after he had bowed to them. "You are the most enchanting ladies in this room this evening."
"Mr. Wickham, you do make me blush," Lydia replied with a giggle. "You are too kind. But you yourself look very handsome in your regimentals. Isn't he handsome Lizzy?"
"Indeed," Lizzy agreed, looking was as casual an expression as she could between her sister and Mr. Wickham, who was smiling innocently.
"Oh, the next dance is starting already," Lydia exclaimed excitedly. "I must find Mr. Oliver, as I promised myself to him next!"
Lydia then bounded across the room in search of her next partner. Lizzy took another sip of her punch while Mr. Wickham gazed around the room thoughtfully.
"You have been travelling with Mr. Darcy," he began after a few moments of silence.
"Yes, we met in Derbyshire," she answered looking back at him.
"That is what I had heard," he paused. "I hope that has not been too unbearable for you." He smiled at her in an attempt to remind her of their previous conversations.
"Not at all," she replied immediately. Regaining a pleasant smile she added, "In fact, I believe Mr. Darcy improves on closer acquaintance."
"Indeed?" he replied in surprised, but still maintaining his cheerful disposition. "Has he developed a more pleasing manner? Or a more gentlemanly way of conducting himself? For I dare not hope he has improved in essentials."
Lizzy smiled at him, truly understanding the advantage she had over him in that moment. "No," she agreed. "In essentials I think he is as he ever was."
Mr. Wickham had noticed the way she spoke, for his eyes were suspicious. "And he introduced me to his sister," she added casually.
"Did you like her?"
"Yes I liked her very much," she answered sincerely.
"Well then she must have improved. You are a great judge of character, Miss Bennet. No one with your approval could have anything wanting. When I last saw her she was not very promising." The unfair judgment of Georgiana by him of all people made her angry and she struggled to maintain composed and relaxed.
"You are mistaken, Mr. Wickham. I fear I have made enough errors of judgment to last me a lifetime, some of which I may never be able to set right." She felt more vulnerable when the words left her mouth than she had anticipated. She turned her gaze across the room and found Mr. Darcy looking back at her, his expression almost fierce. She swallowed and turned away, to see Mr. Wickham glance in his direction and turned slightly red. So he was still intimated by Mr. Darcy, she thought with satisfaction.
The dance was over and Lydia came back over to them. "I believe you asked me for the next dance, Mr. Wickham," she said happily taking a rather large gulp of her punch.
"Yes I did," he said charmingly. "And the pleasure will be mine."
He bowed at Lizzy and escorted Lydia to the dance floor and she watched them for a moment, Mr. Wickham's charm making the easily led Lydia laugh hysterically and blush. Lizzy looked for her Aunt and Uncle in the room, walking around the small groups or couples drinking and talking animatedly. She quickly found them and walked over to them, the Gardiners appeared to be thoroughly enjoying themselves. Mr. Darcy was standing not far from them, looking out the window with a serious expression.
"This is certainly more pleasant than we could have hoped," Mrs. Gardiner said happily as Lizzy joined their company.
"Have you made many acquaintances, Aunt?" Lizzy asked companionably, still gazing at Mr. Wickham and Lydia, who were dancing to a particular energetic jig.
She felt someone behind her and inhaled a wonderfully familiar scent, she turned to him. "You're not dancing, Mr. Darcy."
"Not at present, Miss Bennet," he answered.
He was tense beside her and Lizzy felt awkward. She watched him look around the room with that all too familiar look of distain and she felt irritated. Why had he gone over to her if not to speak?
"I didn't know that Brighton was so warm at this time of year," she said after a moment of searching for conversation.
"This part of the country can be warmer this time of year," he agreed, still proud and serious.
"Lizzy!" Lizzy turned as Lydia ran over to her, her punch spilling a little as she stumbled while laughing. Mr. Wickham was following her watching her with amusement. "I thought we had lost you," she exclaimed.
Lizzy took the glass from Lydia, embarrassed and angry by her lack of propriety, looking anywhere but at Mr. Darcy. She felt him take a step towards her as she spoke. "That looked like an enjoyable dance, Lydia."
"Oh it was, wasn't it, Mr. Wickham?" she looked up at him with pure affection. It disturbed Lizzy.
"Very invigorating," Mr. Wickham agreed with a small smile and a bow of his head. He looked up at Lizzy. "I was hoping to share the next dance with you, Miss Elizabeth," he said smoothly, carefully looking at her and not the gentleman beside her.
"Forgive me," Lizzy said with a smile. "But I've already agreed to dance the next with Mr. Darcy."
She knew this was a bold move on her part as Mr. Darcy hadn't formally asked her, but she knew he wouldn't embarrass her in front of Mr. Wickham. Mr. Wickham turned a shade of dark red, the first time she'd seen him looking displeased. But it was more than that; he was angry.
"Miss Bennet," Mr. Darcy said, drawing her gaze away from Mr. Wickham to take her to the dance floor.
"Forgive my boldness, Mr. Darcy," she said in a quiet tone.
"On the contrary I was very pleased by it." His expression had softened and Lizzy smiled at him as they took their positions.
The dance was pleasing, the movements requiring them to hold hands and watch each other, but this time they didn't speak to one another. She was soon lost in his deep blue eyes, his expression much softer as they moved together. His movements were formal but elegant as they moved with the other couples. It was more than half way through the dance before she turned to look for Mr. Wickham, who was watching them curiously.
When the dance was over, they returned to the Gardiners and Mr. Wickham immediately approached Lizzy and asked for the next dance.
"You may," she answered, not being able to think of an excuse.
She stood in front of Mr. Wickham, who was smiling warmly at her. She listened for the music. As it began and they started dancing, she realized that this dance required more intimate contact than most. A dance most couples were excited by and enjoyed immensely, but Lizzy had no interest in Mr. Wickham putting his arm around her waist and hold her against him as they spun in time with the music.
"We need to discuss what happened in the rose garden," his voice was a whisper against her ear as their dancing put her back to his chest for a moment.
Lizzy kept her distance as well as she could and replied, "I think we made our positions clear, Mr. Wickham," she answered civilly.
"You are wrong," he replied quietly as they joined hands. "You did not say what I wanted to hear."
"That is unfortunate, but doesn't change how I feel," she answered.
"I don't believe for a moment that what you said had anything to do with how you feel, other than perhaps your own jealously."
"Jealously?" she repeated in surprise, her voice rising a little as they danced.
"You must know that it was not my intention to hurt your feelings," he pleaded as they were forced to stand close with his arm around her waist. "You must know it's because of how I feel for you that I acted that way; I never believed my actions were even noticed."
His hands were strong against her waist pulling her close against him, too close.
For the first time Lizzy glared at him. "I believe you are more intelligent than that, Mr. Wickham. You are cunning enough to know exactly what you are doing."
"Elizabeth, your anger can not mask your feelings. I know your heart. That is why you are here." He pulled her even closer and Lizzy tried to pull away as they danced.
"Please, you're holding me too close," she said quietly but firmly, not wanting to draw attention.
"I know you feel it, too. You can fight against it but you must admit it to yourself."
"I admit nothing," she answered angrily and the dance forced their bodies apart, to her relief. However, he continued to squeeze her hand almost painfully. "Mr. Wickham, your hand…"
"I never thought you capable of such torment," he continued, his voice soft and weak as he spoke, but his actions spoke differently and he pulled her against him. She was grateful the song was drawing a conclusion. "And the worst torture you could imagination, consorting with that man of all people."
Lizzy glared at him and tried to pull away from him as the song ended. "Don't you dare!" she said in a deathly whisper.
She heard applause and she forcibly removed herself from his grasp and walked briskly through the crowd to the French doors leading to a patio garden. She took a deep breath as the cooling air hit her and she walked over to the fountain situated in the middle of the paved area. Lizzy took a couple of calming breaths as she fumed with anger. She heard footsteps behind her and quickly turned to see Wickham had followed her.
"I came outside for some fresh air, Mr. Wickham. I do not require a chaperone," she said angrily breathing heavily as he watched with an equally angry expression.
"Miss Bennet, I am trying to declare my love for you. I cannot comprehend your behaviour," he said, exasperated.
"My behaviour?" she replied loudly, shocked and remembering the way he'd nearly crushed her body against his during their dance.
"I know what it is," he said in a soothing tone, taking a step towards her. "I feel it too." He smiled at her lovingly but Lizzy just looked at him in disbelieve. "You have never been in love, and a woman as strong as you is fighting against it because you lose your senses." He took her hands in his own, caressing them. "It makes you feel that you have lost your senses; how else can you explain both our behaviours? We can't control ourselves around each other."
Lizzy pulled her hands out of his. "You are mistaken," she retorted with disgust. "My opinion of you couldn't be more the reverse." She paused and turned away from him. "I told myself I wouldn't reveal this, but I must. I have to say this." When Lizzy turned back to face him, he was smiling. He obviously thought she was about to declare herself in a different manner.
"Your wish to enter the priesthood, Mr. Wickham," she began and his smile left his face rapidly. "I have been informed that renounced your wish to take orders and were compensated accordingly." He swallowed and went to speak but she interrupted him. "And that is nothing compared to Georgiana Darcy."
Mr. Wickham's expression darkened and he looked at her dangerously. "Georgiana Darcy?"
"I know it all, Mr. Wickham." She said with revolution. "All your falsehoods have become very clear to me. Why do you think I came to Brighton as soon as I heard rumours regarding my sister?"
He continued to glare. "And who is your source, Miss Bennet? It wouldn't be the same man who has escorted you to Brighton? The same man who has taken every opportunity to lower my position and keep me on the verge of poverty?" his voice rose as he spoke till he was nearly yelling at her.
Lizzy took a step back but continued to glare. "Mr. Darcy is an honourable man who you have slandered beyond any recognition. He is guilty of nothing; your poverty and position are the result of your depraved behaviour and lowered morals."
"So your opinion of me has been changed by a man who you yourself have described as the most disagreeable man you've ever been acquainted to," Mr. Wickham replied angrily.
"My opinion of Mr. Darcy was formed when you told me of your dealings with him, your lies!" she snapped venomously.
"Where is your proof that what I shared with you were lies?" he answered, controlling his temper and speaking more evenly. "Are you that impressionable a woman to believe any story you are told? Do you not look at the man or his character? Does our acquaintance mean nothing to you?"
"Do not insult me, Mr. Wickham," she replied. "I would not have believed such an outrageous allegation had it not been for the fact Mr. Darcy provided me with other's testaments to the truth of it. And I don't believe that he would invite such a history involving his own sister; he is not capable of such a slander."
"So he would have you believe," Wickham argued. "You don't know what he is capable of."
"I will not stand here and listen to you insult him further. I have been misguided by you long enough. Excuse me," she said and turned away from him, but he grabbed by her upper arms tightly turning her back to him.
"Let go of me," she said fiercely, trying to pull her arms out of his grasp.
He didn't let go. "Can you see how he has poisoned your mind so? What you thought of him when you first met him, before I even told you of his actions. How you despised him! Yet now before me I can see how he has even managed to corrupt the mind of someone as brilliant and intelligent as you. What lengths will that gentleman go to ruin me?"
"Wickham, let go of her." His voice startled them both, and Mr. Wickham released his hold on her upper arms.
"Calm down, Darcy," Wickham said angrily.
"I saw the way you danced with her! Just leave her alone!" Mr Darcy walked over to him and put himself between them.
Lizzy moved out from behind him and stood beside him. "Steady on, Darcy. Anyone would think she was promised to you."
"I am promised to no one," Lizzy replied angrily.
"If you don't want your superiors and all of your acquaintances to be made aware of your true character, Wickham, I suggest you cease all attentions towards any respectable lady within my knowledge," Darcy said with a calm but threatening tone.
"I will not be intimidated by your threats, Darcy," Wickham snapped. "The prejudice against you is so violent that it will simply be my word against yours. You might have gotten one lady to believe you, but there's no guarantee anyone else will."
"The creditors you left behind in Meryton do," Mr Darcy replied angrily. "And the creditors you have here. I've been informed of who they are."
Lizzy gasped as she realised Mr Wickham was leaving debt wherever he went. If he set his cap at either herself or Lydia, what fortune would they possibly have?
Mr Wickham was livid as he glared at Mr Darcy. "For a gentleman who would like nothing better than to stay out of my life, you do your damn best to get involved."
"Don't swear in front of Miss Bennet," Mr Darcy snapped.
"If you conducted yourself in a more gentlemanly manner, Mr Wickham, such interferences wouldn't be necessary," Lizzy said drawing his attention to her.
"So is this truly what your choices come down to, Elizabeth?" Mr Wickham said, taking a last opportunity to try to fool her. "You would believe what he says over me, a man you actually liked not that long ago?"
"The only choice I am making, sir, is to disentangle myself with your company," Lizzy snapped and turned to leave.
"You are choosing the man who can better satisfy your financial needs over what your heart desires."
The loud crack of skin on skin echoed in the silence as Lizzy slapped Mr Wickham hard across the face. As quickly as he had spoken his rude response she had turned and lost herself. She was so angry that she felt no embarrassment or remorse for her improper action.
Mr Wickham's body had stumbled back in shock and he glared at her. Mr Darcy kept his stance close to her. Mr Wickham didn't speak to either of them, just walked past them and re-entered the house.
They neither spoke a word at first. Lizzy walked over to the fountain and replayed the conversation in her head, watching the fountain absently as she did. "Are you hurt?" Mr Darcy asked quietly, joining her.
"Hurt?" she questioned with confusion turning to face him.
He took her hand in his and held it close to his face to examine it. She then noticed the slight sting. "No, I'm fine thank you," she answered drawing her hand back. "I'm sorry for my outburst. What you must think of me."
"I heard a lot of your conversation with him as I approached; I'm surprised you didn't strike him sooner."
Embarrassment had found her and Lizzy blushed. He'd heard Wickham's declarations and her arguments in favour of Mr Darcy.
"Is it true about Mr Wickham's creditors?" Lizzy asked, looking up at him. He nodded. "I don't know why I am surprised, but I am."
"Nothing about his character shocks me anymore," he answered.
"I just want to be done with this," Lizzy replied angrily. "His pernicious actions are only going to cause destruction for anyone taken in by him."
"There is no possible way to expose him without creating suspicions regarding your sister," Mr Darcy explained. "That is why we must settle for warnings on a more subtle scale."
Mr Darcy was so gentle and comforting in his manner that Lizzy was forgetting about anything else around her. "Mr Darcy you need not bother yourself with this. I can see what discomfort his presence causes you."
Mr Darcy smiled. "I'm here by my own volition Miss Bennet."
"I feel great discomfort when I see you distressed," she admitted without shame.
Mr Darcy's widened in surprise as he watched her. After a moment of speechlessness, he replied with a smile. "That is very kind of you." There was silence between them for a moment. "I would advise you on what I think would be the most sensible action to take next, but I continually have to remind myself that this is not my concern. I'm here for my own purposes and shouldn't interfere with your business."
"I beg you not to feel that way," Elizabeth intervened. "Your opinion is invaluable to me. I depend on what your advice and guidance more than I could ever imagine." His expression told her she had revealed much more than she had wanted.
"Miss Elizabeth, why would you burden yourself with such an obligation?" His voice was soft and she didn't know if either moved, but the spaced between them appeared to grow smaller.
She looked deep into his eyes, wondering if he would ever forgive her. "Do you really not know?" she whispered, admitting her feelings to herself, and to him, if he interpreted what she had said the way it was meant to.
Lizzy watched him swallow visibly. He did not speak and Lizzy drew her own conclusion. "I must go inside before I am missed," she said and turned away from him and walked quickly back into the crowded ballroom. She had not known that he had been searching for the words to declare himself to her.
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A/N: After getting such a good response from the preview I gave with my last chapter, I thought I'd do it again!
"Lydia, I'm begging you to believe me," Elizabeth pleaded, her voice etched in desperation.
"It's all lies!" she shrieked and Elizabeth scolded her to keep her voice down. "He loves me," she declared. "What we have shared is nothing you could even imagine! We have given ourselves to each other in every possible manner."
Darcy sighed as dread filled the pit of his stomach, his worst fear confirmed as he realised the implications of what Lydia was suggesting.
"Lydia," Elizabeth said and Darcy could picture her face etched in horror. "What exactly are you saying happened between Mr. Wickham and yourself?"
"He has shown me a level of intimacy and pleasure that I have never experience before, but it's a level of intimacy that require we must now get married. That is how I know he wants to marry me; he has already taken me."