I've decided to start shortening the chapters a bit. I started off this story with shorter chapters and they grew more as I had more time to focus on this story...however sadly I don't anymore. Within the upcoming months I'll be starting school again and I know between that and work I won't have much time to dedicate to this story. I don't want to leave anyone disappointed so if you want me to continue with this story I will. I know with all the Bram conflicts on the show lately we could all use the Brittana love! If you want me to continue let me know but just know that as my other updates they will be irregular... but maybe the shorter chapters will help move it along. I've been overwhelmed at the responses to the this story and just want to thank everyone who has continued with it, especially given my unpredictable updates. =P Let me know your thoughts they are always appreciated! Sorry for any mistakes =)
Chapter 13
Brittany walks into the living room after getting dressed and taking a few minutes to let her mind stop racing from Santana's earlier comment. She sees the girl sitting on her couch as she walks in, eyes meeting as soon as Santana's hears her footsteps in the room.
"Do you ever not look gorgeous?" Santana asks softly as more of a rhetorical question to herself as she watches Brittany enter the room. She's wearing sweatpants and a cami as her hair cascades over her shoulders, still damp from the shower and a bit messy from a quick attempt at towel drying her hair. Santana is lost within her natural beauty, seeing the girl blush she realizes her comment must have been louder than she thought.
Brittany's eyes meet hers, the blush still evident on her face as she speaks, "Do you ever stop trying to be such a charmer?" she asks ducking her head bashfully and sits down next to her on the couch. She keeps a about a foot between them but turns to face her.
"Not when it gets you to blush like that." She teases.
"Just wait until I get my revenge Lopez." she says narrowing her eyes at her.
"Good luck blondie. I'm spanish and we do not blush." she chuckles at Brittany's seriousness.
"We'll see about that." Brittany says accepting the challenge.
They sit in a comfortable silence for a moment before Brittany notices Santana obviously found the stack of letters that were on the coffee table since they are now resting in lap.
"Found them I see." Brittany points out reaching over the takes the letter at the top of the small pile.
"Yup." San replies, "I guess we should talk about them, if you still want to."
"I think that's a good idea.." Brittany says as she looks over the letter, seeing right away that it's the first letter that she had received from the girl in front of her.
"Alright... what do you want to know?" She asks Brittany since she's unsure of where to start.
Brittany looks up from the paper in her hand and straight into Santana's nervous eyes. "Everything." she says simply as she continues the search the Latina's gaze.
"Everything?" she asks at the not so vague answer. Brittany just nods in reply, the look in her eyes begging her to be let into her thoughts. The intensity of her crystal blue eyes making Santana more nervous. 'I've never been good with serious conversations.' she thinks as she becomes more nervous and does what she always does in such situations, deflects. "That's a lot, how much time do you have?" she jokes trying to calm her nerves.
Britt can see the hesitation in Santana's face and in voice so she reaches over and takes her tanned hand in her own. She gently strokes her thumb across the back of her hand. Santana's attention goes to the automatic 'Spark' she feels at the contact and the tingles she feels run up her arm as Brittany continues to move her thumb over her hand softly. She looks up to Brittany who is smiling at her, encouraging her to tear down every wall she's ever build around herself.
"I have all the time in the world." she says just as softly.
Santana nods in understanding as her heart flutters at the blonde's words. She sits there for a minute still unsure of where to start or what to even say. 'How do I even explain this and not come off as some creeper? Well you see when I saw you.. you kind of took my breath away and when you wouldn't talk to me I became a creeper and couldn't keep my eyes off you..leading to me stalking to your apartment after hours to leave you freaking love letters not once but multiple times. She sure I can explain all of that without any issue. Shit she's still staring at me. Say something!'
"..Uhm..."
'Wow really? Way to go Lopez! you're normally rambling like an ass in front of her but this is a whole new level, you're too afraid to even attempt to ramble!' She feels Brittany's hand squeeze her's lightly bringing her attention back. 'I've got nothing.. Do something before she just asks to leave.' she shakes her head feeling like an idiot.
Brittany can see the girl is struggling for words. 'Maybe if I start she'll open up.' she thinks before taking the lead in the conversation. "You know you're quite an observant person."
'See she thinks you're a fucking creepy, Brav-' Santana's mind begins to race again but is caught off be Brittany's actual vocalized words.
"You figured out a part of me I tried to keep hidden. I was doing pretty well too until you came along. I got this first letter and I didn't even know what to do." Brittany begins hoping to draw Santana's interest.
"What do you mean?" Santana's asks softly, not trusting her voice at the moment.
Brittany hides the smile for getting Santana to actually speak instead of having whatever inner battle she was having with herself. "I don't let anyone in. I left my town where everyone thought I was stupid for a lot of reasons I-"
"Britt you are not stupid." Santana says, her voice is stern and her hand squeezes Brittany's as she says it.
"I was in love with a guy who cheated on me for the majority of our relationship. Everyone else knew, I didn't have any idea. You don't think that's stupid?" she asks softer than her voice was previously, vulnerable even. She pulls her hand away from Santana's and looks down at her lap.
Santana's done for and she knows it. 'If it's one thing I can't stand it's her being sad or thinking less of herself.' She moves closer to Brittany on the couch, closing the distance between them as their knees touch. She takes her hand that was previously in Brittany's and lifts the girl's chin to look at her before she speaks.
"Okay firstly stop calling yourself stupid because you're not. You try and see the good in everyone. Artie was, is, a deceitful ass and everyone who let you go on thinking he was Mr. Perfect are just as bad. They're the stupid ones Britt, not you. You're a genius Brittany. Want to know how I know that?" she moves her hand to tuck some of the girl's blonde hair that fell in front of her face behind her ear.
"How?" Brittany asks quietly, transfixed in the brunette's kind face. Santana brings her hand down and places it on the Brittany's knee.
"Because as soon as you did find out the truth you left his sorry ass and all those other jerks behind. You took control, took charge of the situation and did what needed to be done. You started over Britt, do you know how much courage that takes.. to just pack up, go and start fresh? I know it must've been hard. I could always see it in your eyes you were struggling with something. Those sad eyes weren't homesick eyes, they were broken."
She takes a breath, taking that second to commit to what she's about say, what she should've said all along. "That's why I started the letters. I tried approaching you as myself but my own reputation didn't really give me any good points. I wanted to know you, to figure you out. I wanted to be the one to bring the life back into you."
Brittany inhales sharply at her confession. The song was one thing, reading the letters she had written was another but the words were coming straight from her mouth, right in front of her. Brittany was beyond ecstatic to say the least.
"So you wrote me these instead." B says in understanding, trying to keep her cool know Santana wasn't done and wanting beyond anything to know her reasoning behind everything that's happened.
"Yeah, I did. I figured if you could like that side of me you might give me a chance. Then every time I wanted to tell you I couldn't or I didn't know how. We started to hang out and I just- I didn't want you to know I was basically lying to you by not telling you and everything just spiraled from there. You started to like the real me and not just the one on paper. I just didn't know how to combine them. How to tell you without pushing you away, but I did anyway." She takes a breath and squeezes Brittany's knee gently, drowning in her gaze. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I lied to you. I should've just been honest with you from the beginning. I shouldn't have even written those ridiculous letters." Santana breathes.
"They're not ridiculous." Brittany assures her quickly, Santana looking at her curiously. "They're sweet and thoughtful."
"And creepy." she deadpans shaking her head at her absurd plan.
"I never thought they were creepy." Brittany says placing her hand on top of Santana's that's still on her knee.
"Really?" she asks quirking her eyebrow.
"Nope." Brittany replies with a soft smile.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"After the song you mentioned the letters before I even had a chance to bring them up. How did you figure out it was me and not Quinn?"
"I have a small confession to make."
"Okay.."
"I was on my way downstairs when you came into the cafe after I ran away from Quinn in the park. Tea always seems to sooth me and I went downstairs to get a few tea bags. I was on my way down when I heard you guys come inside and I kinda of heard part of the conversation about the letters. I couldn't really believe it at first.. I thought they were still talking about Quinn. When Tina told me to come downstairs I was still expecting her but then when I saw you there, singing to me.. the lyrics and the way you were looking at me like-" she stops herself.
"Like what?" Santana asks.
"It's going to sound silly and cliché." she blushes and looks down at her lap.
"Please just tell me."
Brittany takes deep breath, "You looked at me like- like I was the only girl in the world." her face blushing more so at such a ridiculous thought.
"Well," Santana begins, her hand coming back up the the blonde's face. She gently strokes her thumb over Brittany's cheek. "not to sound super cheesy but, you are." she cups her cheek and Brittany leans into the touch their eyes locked onto one another. "You're the only girl in the world to me Britt."
Brittany's heart almost jumps out of her chest. 'She really is amazing.' Her eyes search mocha eyes and then fall down to her lips, unconsciously sticking her tongue out to wet her own which inevitably causes Santana's eyes to wonder down to her lips as well. Brittany looks back up to Santana's eyes and notices where her eyes are looking. Before she has time to give herself some reason not to again, she leans in. The movement causes Santana's eyes to look up immediately and lock onto her gaze before closing her eyes, her lips parting. Brittany takes this as all the permission she needs before leaning the rest of the way to connect their lips. Brittany takes Santana's top lip between her own and immediately feels Santana recuperate the kiss. Santana's hand that was on Brittany's cheek finds it's way into damp blonde hair. Brittany leans further into her, placing her hand on Santana's thigh to hold her balance. They're lips move in complete sync with each other as if they've done it a million times before. This kiss is short but soft and holds so many emotions that either girl isn't ready to share just yet. After a what feels like forever Brittany pulls back, opening her eyes to find darker brown eyes looking back at her.
"You're right.." she says softly, as she leans her forehead against Santana's trying not to push the girl against the pillow behind her and have her way with her. "that was super cheesy." she smirks.
Santana's who was still in a daze is pulled back to current moment at the blonde's words. "Well get use to it blondie because you seem to bring it out in me." she says bringing her hand back down and pushes her knee playfully.
"Good, I like it." Britt smiles.
"Just don't be telling anyone- don't need it ruining my badass reputation."
"Hate to break it to you babe but you had my friends and your friends help you to serenade me-" she leans in towards Santana's ear, "I think your secret is out" she whispers into her ear before pulling back. She looks at Santana as a smile spreads across her face but still doesn't respond, just keeps staring at her. "What?" she finally asks, "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"No reason... babe." she winks causing Brittany to blush.
'Did I say..?' she thinks back to her previous statement. 'I did call her babe.' she realizes her slip up and blushes even more, which only causes Santana's smile to widen. Her mental freak out comes to a halt before it even begins as she feels familiar lips on her cheek, gone just as fast. She turns her head to look at Santana who is grinning at her.
"It's okay, I like it." she smiles sincerely at Brittany.
"Where does this leave us?" Brittany asks after a few moments of comfortable silence.
"Welllll.." she drags out, reaching over to take Brittany's hands in her own. "Everything is out in the open now and after that kiss can I assumed that you forgive me?" Santana asks searching the girl's eyes still feeling uncertain.
"Mmm I suppose." Brittany responds as she plays with Santana's fingers in her own.
Santana lets out a light laugh. "Then I suppose I should do what I should've done before we went to that fair and ask you on a date."
"I think you should too." Brittany gives her a coy smile waiting for the question.
"Brittany will you g-"
"Yes." Brittany interrupts before she has time to finish. Brittany smiles wide and Santana smiles back at her eagerness.
"How's Friday?" Santana asks soaking in the spark in the blonde's eye that's she's been so desperate to see since she first spoke to her.
"Perfect." Brittany beams. "What should we do now?"
"Well is there anything you had in mind? I'm pretty much yours for the day." 'Or for forever.' she counters in her head.
"Would you mind if we just stay here and watch a movie or something? I like this.. this whole you and me, just us right now thing."
"I like it too." Santana softly smiles and Brittany immediately returns it.
Brittany grabs the small stack of letters off Santana's lap and sets them down on the coffee table, along with the one she still had in her own lap. She grabs the remote before shifting on the couch closer to Santana. Santana leans back against the arm of the couch, propping a pillow up to rest her head on. She moves over slightly against the back of the couch to leave Brittany room to lie down next to her. Brittany smiles at Santana once more before lying down in front of her on the couch. They spoon as best they can on the small couch, neither girl minding the closeness. Brittany turns on the TV and finds a movie to watch on her Netflix. She puts the remote on the floor once they decide on a movie and Santana wraps her arm over Brittany's side as they settle in to watch. Brittany takes Santana's hand in hers, loving the feeling that they seem to just fit together. From their hands to the way their bodies mold against one another.. 'Like a puzzle piece.' Brittany thinks to herself before bringing her attention to the movie.
It's dark out by the time Brittany wakes up. 'Must have fallen asleep during the movie.' she thinks to herself seeing the Netflix menu once again on her TV. She hears the even breathing of Santana who is still behind her, her hand moved from the blonde's hand and is now resting gently on her waist. Brittany just stays still for a minute as she takes in the warmth of the body behind her. She can faintly feel the brunette's heartbeat against her back.
She looks in front of herself and carefully reaches over to the coffee table taking the first two pieces of paper at the top of the pile. They're out of their envelopes and unfold easily since Brittany had worn out the paper counting the number of times she had read them both. It flips right open and she reads it to herself once more, knowing she'll never tire of the words. They had caught her off guard reading something from someone who had been able to read her so easily, even behind her walls. The words that had given her hope to the possibility of being cared for, to take a chance on someone, and be happy once again.
Dear Brittany,
I hope this letter does not come across as some kind of stalker type thing because that is not at all my intention. My intentions are but to have the courage to be able to speak to you. You've been invading my thoughts since I first saw you. It was the first time that the term 'electrifying' that they use in movies and books to describe someone's eyes has actually rang true. They have hypnotized me from the first glance. That one look that managed to take my breath away; something I was not use to happening before but never fails when you look at me. What makes me more curious is the girl that seems to be hiding behind those beautiful blue eyes. The sad eyes that seem to appear when you're not in conversation with customers, employees or friends. When you're off in your own world. If only I could take the sadness from your eyes and let them shine with life again like I'm sure they once did. Maybe someday.
Your Secret Admirer
She smiles at the words before flipping to the second letter.
Dear Brittany,
Where do you go when your off in your own world? When your eyes grow sad? I wish I could bring you out of that haze, that wall you seem to build up and think no one has noticed. Well I have noticed and maybe one day when I get the courage to speak to you as myself I can bring down that wall and give life to those eyes again because they have certainly brought me back to life. You didn't even know, you didn't even have to try. For now I ask you to not be sad, you're far to beautiful and full of life to not enjoy the world in front of you and take chances that may pass you by if you're behind that wall of yours. If you are unable to bring down that wall may you can let that beautiful hair flow down and I'll climb to rescue you. You can be Rapunzel and I'll be your Prince(ss) Charming. Well that super cheesy but if perhaps it brought a smile to your face then I'll be as cheesy as I need to be because I could never tire of that smile.
Your Secret Admirer
'She really did see right through me, right through my walls. She has been the one to bring me back to life.' Brittany thinks to herself before gently moving again putting the letters back on the coffee table. She settles back down and moves back against Santana, trying not to wake the girl behind her that's slowly stealing her heart. For the first time in a long time Brittany realizes she wants to give it to her. The thought still scares her but excites her at the same time. She gently brings Santana's hand from her waist back in front of her and intertwines it with her own, feeling Santana grip it back and tighten her hold on her. Brittany smiles at the feeling of security it brings and she closes her eyes to drift back to sleep.