Thank you so much for reading. I will compensate for the cruelty I freely acknowledged at the end of the last chapter, in this one. Please enjoy.

Apologies for any spelling/ grammar mistakes.

"Jimmy? What are you doing in here? Why are you out of breath?"

Thomas was changing for bed when the young footman burst in through his door in frenzy, cheeks red from having run about two miles after leaving Ivy in the lurch, something he probably shouldn't have done, but he didn't feel he had any choice. His concern was getting away from the kitchen maid, who he hoped had taken the hint that he wanted to be no part of a relationship with her, and he could not wait to see Thomas.

"I've been running." Jimmy panted.

"Running? Where from? I thought you were out with Ivy?" Thomas came over to Jimmy and guided him to a chair but the footman was too agitated to sit.

"No. Well I was."

"And you ran off?" The only explanation Thomas could figure from the evidence presented to him.

"Yes." Jimmy nodded, pangs of guilt hitting him now he heard Thomas say it.

"That bad?" Thomas assumed.

"No. It's just that… We kissed."

"Oh, that bad then." Kissing a girl not considered to be a pleasant experience for Thomas.

Jimmy struggled to describe it exactly. "No, it wasn't bad-"

"Then why run off?"

"It made me realise something."

"And what was that?" Thomas asked in intrigue, having no idea what the footman had run up here to tell him.

"That I'm not supposed to be with her." His panting subsided in the depth of his words.

"Finally figured that out then." Thomas quipped, Jimmy's depth not as clearly conveyed as he had hoped. "So the first thing you do is run up here and tell me?" Thomas continued, unsure whether to be flattered or confused.

"Apparently."

"At least now Alfred will stop moaning. He can have her to himself."

"I suppose." Jimmy removed his hat and crushed it between his fingers in anxiety, swallowing, he checked his hair had kept its rigid form, suddenly doubting whether he should be in Thomas' room at all.

"Is that how you always react?"

"What?"

"Running off when you get kissed." Thomas smiled, wondering what he would have preferred had that been true during his stolen moment; getting thrown out or being run away from.

"No. It was because… I haven't been kissed for a while to tell the truth, and before this I never ran off. Something happened though which has… changed things." Jimmy looked into his hat, imagining if he would turn invisible if he placed it on his head.

"What was that?"

"You." Jimmy said softly.

"Me?" Thomas looked astounded.

Jimmy's eyes remained to be as soft as his voice. "Yes."

"What have I done?" Thomas bore an expression of offence, but he could not hold it under the stillness of the youth stood before him.

"What do you think?" Jimmy blinked obviously.

"I hope you're not going to say I permanently damaged you and now you can never have another relationship?" Thomas emphasized the foolishness of the statement, should it be the case.

"No." Jimmy sat on Thomas' bed with his back to the under butler, not wanting him to see his legs weakening, nor for Thomas to look at him when he said what he was about to, "When you kissed me, I never thought about how it actually felt or what it could mean for me, I only saw it in terms of what it meant for everyone else. That's why I've been so distant, so wrapped up in how wrong it was, because the kiss… it was wrong."

"I know, and I'd appreciate it if you stop reminding me." Thomas ground his teeth in regret.

"I'm just trying to get me thoughts out." Jimmy apologised, pulling his hands down his face, stretching the tense skin until they stopped upon his mouth and came together to form a praying gesture.

"Well don't hurt yourself." Thomas joked, hoping to raise a smile, not liking to see his friend so torn up, but to no avail. So Thomas folded his arms in genuine concern for the youth. "What are you trying to say Jimmy?" Jimmy was still trying to compose his answer, but Thomas was less patient than would have been desired, "Come on, you've come up here to say something so have out with it."

"It's just…" Jimmy lowered his hands away onto his lap, "When I kissed her I knew it wasn't right. I knew it would never be right again, with her or anyone else."

"And that's my fault?" Thomas widened his eyes in failure to see what he had done.

"Yes."

"Why?" Thomas gasped. Jimmy sat still and so quiet, for all Thomas knew he could have fallen into a trance, "Jimmy?"

"Because no one else will be you." Jimmy spoke to the wall ahead of him. He wasn't certain if it was his own lips that said it. But he heard it and he knew he could say it. So when Thomas made him repeat himself he stood up and turned to the under butler, saying with greater strength and, more importantly, greater belief. "No one else will be you."

Thomas leaned back against the wall to stop himself falling over. Could this be possible? "I… I don't-"

"-Ask me again."

"Jimmy I have to-" Thomas began unsteadily.

"Ask me again. That question you asked me when we argued the other evening. Ask me. Please, before I lose me nerve." Jimmy forced out in a single breath otherwise he might choke on the words.

"I don't think-" Thomas couldn't remember the question Jimmy was referring to, unless it was…

"Please Thomas!" Jimmy implored him.

"I can't remember the question." It couldn't be…

"Yes you do. Ask it."

"Do you- "

"That's it." Jimmy nodded eagerly, knowing that Thomas remembered; it was too vital for him not to remember; a question that Jimmy believed would change their lives.

"Do you have feelings for me?" Thomas asked hesitantly, almost not wanting to say it, still believing it couldn't be right. That Jimmy would throw him out again for just asking it, even if it was his own room he was being thrown out of. He clung to the wall in anticipation of it happening.

"Yes." Jimmy said with all the will in the world. "I can't explain it. I'm not really sure I understand it. But I know. I do Thomas. I can't believe it's taken me so long to see it." Jimmy blurted out, feeling unwelcome tears forming in his eyes, obscuring his view of the gorgeous man who stood before him.

"Are you sure?" Thomas asked in disbelief. The youth only gave him a simple, yet feeling, smile in response. "You don't know what that means to me." Thomas breathed. He couldn't believe this was happening to him. It was all he had wanted for over a year, that had kept him awake at night, just to hear those words from the footman's lips, and it was as a knife into his chest to have to take it away himself, "But I can't." Thomas rasped.

The look on Jimmy's face broke Thomas' heart in two, remembering how he felt when their roles were reversed all that time ago. "What? What do you mean?"

"The Duke offered me a job as butler in his household… and I've accepted."

"What? Why?" Jimmy couldn't understand; this isn't how things were supposed to happen.

"Because I'm trying to move on. I thought you had done the same. Michael has-"

"Michael." Jimmy breathed helplessly at Thomas' use of the Duke's given name, like a weight were crushing his chest.

"He's changed, he cares about me and this time he's serious." Thomas almost wished that what he was saying was not true.

"So you're leaving?" Jimmy was fit to burst into tears, putting his hand over his mouth to stop himself.

Thomas closed his eyes when he said that ill- fated 'yes', not wanting to see the reaction of the young footman.

"Because of me? Because if you are you can just go to him and tell him you've changed your mind." Jimmy begged that it was not too late for that.

"It's not that simple anymore." Thomas told him, hating himself for creating this situation where he had to say these things.

"Why not?"

"Do you know how hard it is to be like me? To live a forbidden life? The Duke is offering me a position where I will be safe to live as I want to, no more hiding, where I won't have to be alone again." Thomas vented all the frustration he had felt his whole life, what it was he now needed, a picture that could not include Jimmy.

"How do you know he won't hurt you, like he did last time?"

"He's changed." Thomas shrugged, hoping his friend would trust him enough in that.

"So have I." Jimmy came towards him, closer so Thomas might be able to see just how much.

"In the last two seconds! Tomorrow you could be back to being 'Jimmy the ladies' man'."

"I won't be." Whether it was true or not didn't matter right then, but Jimmy believed it.

"How do you know?"

Jimmy said the first thing he could think of, what it was that first brought his attention to any possibility of him feeling more than friendship with Thomas, the thing that made him doubt himself, "Because Victoria was right!"

"What?" The image of the outspoken maid flushed his mind and Thomas wondered what she had been saying to the footman to transform him into this shrivelling mess he saw before him.

"I heard what Victoria said to you about us, that day I left my gloves in the servants' hall. I came in to get them but I heard her talking about us so I waited outside and listened."

Thomas recalled the damaging conversation, "How much did you hear?"

"I heard her say why we should be together; that what we had was natural and beautiful… and she was right." Jimmy gave Thomas a pleading look, hoping he would say that he thought the same.

"So instead of coming to me you ask Ivy out?" The anger brewing in Thomas' chest.

"I was confused!" Jimmy clutched his head in anguish.

"You always are." Thomas scorned him.

"I'm not anymore. She was right. She is right. There is something between us that I can't ignore anymore."

"See you would convince me if you had said one thing different." Thomas said calmly.

"What? Because I'll say it." Jimmy pledged in his desperation to fling himself into Thomas' arms and kiss those lips which taunted him by moving with every breath which passed between them.

"If you can't figure that out for yourself, then we're done."

"Tell me, please."

"I can't." Thomas wanted to put the footman out of his misery, but he could not force words into Jimmy's mouth at the cost of Thomas giving up a safe and secure future, but he was willing to give Jimmy the reason why he couldn't stay for him, or he would regret it himself, "Deep inside I still think you're afraid. I can't be with someone who is afraid to be with me."

"I'm here aren't I?" Jimmy reasoned.

"But will you be tomorrow?"

"I'd like to think I would be." Jimmy said uncertainly, as yesterday he would have never thought he would be here today, so who knew where he would be tomorrow.

"So would I. But you've hurt me twice Jimmy, I don't think I could survive if there was a third time." A single tear trickled down Thomas' cheek which Jimmy wanted to go and kiss away from his eyes; he could never imagine himself hurting Thomas again, as it seemed to go against nature herself.

"I wouldn't do that to you."

"I can't be sure. That's all there is to it."

"Do you love him?" Jimmy's heart burned with a hope that just maybe the under butler had not yet fallen for his now rival.

"I did once, I think I can again."

"But you don't love him?"

"All I know is I have felt more loved in the last few days than I have in the last eight years."

"Do you want to go with him?"

"I have to." This was more certain now than before Jimmy came into his room, as he could not live with the footman, knowing his feelings, and never being able to act on it no matter how much he wanted to.

"Do you want to?"

Thomas did not know how to answer; an hour ago he would have said yes, but now he had to look into the eyes of the heart broken young man who he was leaving, it buried his conviction.

"JIMMY!" A muffled voice could be heard outside the room.

"Bastard!" Was the sentiment of Jimmy's reaction on hearing the insufferable second footman calling for him. Of all the moments he could have stuck his nose in, this was no doubt the worst.

"You best see what he wants before he wakes the whole house." Thomas advised, glad that would have time at least to think about his answer to Jimmy's question.

"I don't care what he wants he's still getting a punch in the neck."

Thomas did not stay Jimmy's fury as he exited the room, but flopped down on the bed, burying his head in his hands at the terrific revelation bestowed to him by the boy who once captured his heart.

"Alfred what do you think you're doing? You're going to wake up the entire house!" Jimmy whispered in frustration through gritted teeth as he came upon the second footman wandering about the corridor like a lost puppy.

"Did you know that Ivy is in the servant's hall, crying, because of you?"

Jimmy did not put it past the footman to have stayed up to wait for them so he could spy on their date, and take any opportunity to foil any success it may have had, "What do you want me to do about it?"

"Go apologise to her."

"Why? I already did." Jimmy kept one hand on Thomas' door handle; such was his urgency to return to him.

"Not enough, she told me you kissed her then ditched her." Alfred gave Jimmy a disapproving look, not without envy that Jimmy managed to steal a kiss from the girl he had been trying to win over since the day she walked through the door.

"I made it perfectly clear that she kissed me and I- well I guess I did ditch her, but I said I was sorry." In deference to his ill behaviour towards Ivy, Jimmy spared Alfred's cause some patience, and to preserve his name, because he did not kiss Ivy. At least not the first time; which was the time that mattered.

"What were you doing in Mr Barrow's room?" Alfred's slow turning mind had caught up to the moment they were in, and noticed they were outside Mr Barrow's room, the door which he saw Jimmy come out of.

"What?"

"You were in Mr Barrow's room." Alfred nodded towards the door.

Jimmy took his hand innocently from the door knob and made his denial. "I was not."

"Yes you were."

"Oh that's right." Jimmy confessed blithely, not bothering to argue with him.

"What were you doing in there?" All matter of dark thoughts penetrated Alfred's mind.

"It's none of your business." Jimmy losing patience with the second footman, he started to wish Thomas would emerge from his room and intervene like before, using the strict voice which curled Jimmy's toes.

"Oh right of course, he's your friend now in't he?"

"Yes. You know that."

"How can you be friends with him? I couldn't do it if he… did that to me." Alfred shuddered at the thought.

"Well he didn't did he?! And I don't know why he'd want to." Jimmy looked over the second footman.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Just that no matter what Mr Barrow is, you're still not good enough for him." Jimmy folded his arms, planning for Alfred to take his leave if he insulted him enough.

"I… I bet I could have him if I wanted him."

It was the sincerity, and even hint of pride, in Alfred's claim that made Jimmy stand aghast, almost in hilarity. The only laughter, however, came stifled as it echoed through the under butler's door, and both footmen swivelled towards it on hearing it. Could Thomas have heard this outrageous comment? That would certainly have been his response to it. 'Thomas is smooth, dark and gorgeous; you're a clumsy, orange beanpole', Jimmy's thoughts agreed with the source of the laugh, 'no one in their right mind would have you over him'. "Can you hear what you're saying?" Jimmy said to the ridiculous footman.

"Er..."

"Alfred I think it's time we both moved on from what happened. If I can, you should be able to as well."

"I don't think I can. Not with what he is." Alfred said unreasonably. Was there anything positive about this guy?

"Then it's your loss."

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were like him."

Finally they arrived at the truth, and Jimmy was prepared to unleash hell. "I'm not the one saying I could have him if I wanted him. How do I know you're not like him, that you're just avoiding him because maybe you're jealous he didn't want you, or that he brings out that secret side of you?"

"Shut up! You know that's not true!" Alfred shrivelled back like the worm that he is.

"Is it? Really?"

"Yes! I like women!" Alfred shrieked as best as his grumpy montonous voice would allow.

Jimmy hid his enjoyment of Alfred's terror, "Then why are you still here bothering me when you could be down in the servant's hall giving Ivy a shoulder to cry on? This is probably the best chance you'll get with her, while she's vulnerable, and you're up here talking to me about Mr Barrow's love life!"

"You think I have a chance?"

Jimmy had him, now to get rid of him. "Yes, just go to her."

"But she still likes you." Alfred's shoulders slumped.

Jimmy was really not in mood to give relationship advice now. "I think I've made it clear that I don't feel the same way."

"It's not clear to her."

"Well make me out to be a complete and utter bastard, that I treated her rubbish, that she didn't deserve that and she's too good for me. She'll be putty in your hands."

"How do I know that you won't try and bring her round?"

Jimmy breathed in deeply through his nose, it took all his reserve to not scream at him and deliver that punch in the neck he threatened Thomas about. "I'll back off. I'll back off from her completely. You can have her all to yourself from now on. I promise."

"Really?" Alfred beamed; thankfully for Jimmy he did not look as repulsive as when he was miserable.

"Yes." Jimmy could sacrifice his flirtations; it's not as if he would have much use of them now.

"You'd do that?"

"Yes if you just go." Not caring anymore about anything except getting back in that room. He would even give Alfred his position as first footman.

"Thanks Jimmy."

"No problem Alfred." Jimmy sighed. When Alfred was out of sight Jimmy touched Thomas' door handle, composing himself to go back in, not entirely sure what he needed to say to Thomas, but he had to convince him not to leave.

"JAMES?" A voice erupted down the passageway.

"Mr Caaaarson." James sang the butler's name to stop himself swearing.

"What in God's name are you doing?" The robed man charged towards him with a face of thunder.

"I've just got in with Ivy Mr Carson, and I ran into Alfred." Jimmy stuttered, hoping Mr Carson didn't ask him about why he was stood by Mr Barrow's door.

"Well now he's gone I suggest you get to bed."

"Yes Mr Carson." Jimmy resigned himself to the fact that he was not going to talk to Thomas tonight, and dropped his shoulders. "Sorry Mr Carson." The butler retreated down the corridor, giving Jimmy a wary look and returned to his room. Jimmy stared at Thomas' door; his fingers nostalgically lingered on the wood before moving away, hoping Thomas knew that his absence was not of his own doing.

Thank you all for reading. I hope I haven't destroyed anyone's souls :P If so, I'm very sorry.