Wow, it feels like ages - my mains adapter broke, and I've only just got my laptop running again. So yeah, sorry if this is a little late, and all hail Amazon for having such a fast delivery service! This chapter's Kakashi's PoV, please forgive the slight use of Gaiden-specific memories if you haven't read it.
Konoha's streets were quiet at this time of day, serene and calm under the pale greys of first dawn. Kakashi loved it, the stillness that settled over everything, the calm before the storm of a ninja's working day. He should be heading home, to check up on Sasuke and to get some clean clothes on, to wash off the cheap perfume that hung around him. Not even the perfume could spoil the morning air though, and he didn't want to go home, where he'd have to deal with Sasuke and talk and act like he was okay with everything. So he went where he always went for comfort – the memorial.
He could almost hear Obito's frantic footsteps, racing up to ask if he was on time this time...which of course he wasn't. He was the same now...worse even, because he didn't even try to keep good time. Always, he was worse...but now he had to be good enough, now there was nobody to take responsibility. It was clear cut – both the rules of the shinobi, and those of teamwork dictated that he should put his child first. And he would, he'd do whatever it took. Lifting his headband, he stroked a finger over the raised scar, feeling the old memory of pain and loss welling up. For the sake of those who had protected his future, he had to stop thinking so selfishly, and do what was best. Maybe...if he didn't mess up, if he made sure Sasuke and their child had the best possible, if he stopped thinking about himself so much, maybe he could even stop regretting the past. Maybe it was all as it should be. Maybe.
He should go and check up on Sasuke, see how she was doing. Pushing his headband back down, he ran his fingers over the names of all his lost comrades once again, then turned and sprinted back to the village. He was still alive, and he planned to make the most of it.
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"Yo." Sasuke didn't respond. Then again, she was asleep. But for a shinobi of her caliber to sleep through an intruder? He stepped closer, looking intently at the pile of bedding. He could hear her breathing, could smell the morning breath from here, even with her head stuffed under the pillow. "Sasuke? Are you alright?" A hand appeared from under the covers and made several rude gestures before retreating back under the covers. So she was awake after all. He sighed and watched her for a moment longer, or at least, he watched the messy pile of blankets, and the few strands of midnight hair that showed. "If you get up, I'll make breakfast...didn't Sakura say you need to be eating more?"
The hand appeared again, and threw a kunai at him. He caught it mid-flight, and threw it back at her. Apparently that was the key to getting Sasuke up – she sat up, caught it, stabbed the pillow (his pillow, he noticed), and ran to the bathroom. He hummed and made tea, and boiled up some fresh rice. By the time she came in, scowling and clad only in a towel, he had finished, and placed rice and soup in front of her scrunched face. "Morning Sassy!"
"Hn." She dug in immediately, apparently ravenous after such a prolonged session of morning sickness. In fact, she didn't look like she'd been eating enough; even though Uchihas didn't usually have chubby faces, hers looked rather more worn than he felt comfortable with. Guilt twinged in his stomach, and he mentally berated himself for staying away for so long. He just didn't want to have to think about this bit of his life, about all the sacrifices he was making. But he was going to do better now, he was going to make things right. He would stop taking so many missions, and he'd reduce his bed-hopping. Sasuke clearly wasn't managing on her own.
"So...how have you been the past few days? Enjoying being Mikota?" She shook her head mutely, damp hair flicking droplets on his mask. She gulped an un-chewed mouthful, and he had to make an effort not to follow the slight movement with his eye, down at her almost-exposed chest, where the water droplets would be running...he blinked. "-een practicing my henge in time for Saturday." He ran her words through his head again, but they still didn't make sense. She pouted, probably reading his confusion, and continued. "I'm invited to the Hyuuga household for dinner, I need to be able to hold it for at least three hours straight." Well, that really cleared the situation up. Not. "Why are you invited to dine wit-"
"I'm courting Hinata. If you'd actually been around for the last four days you would already know. I think she'd make the best mother for our kid." The best mother. Hinata Hyuuga. The shy little one who used to like Naruto? With his baby? "Are you sure she's the best option? Surely there's someone else better suited..." He just can't imagine who. He can't imagine anyone but him and Sasuke with their baby...maybe Sakura and Naruto, but not as parents. Surely there was someone suitable? "No, she's the only one. Tenten's in a relationship with Naruto, Sakura knows about the kid and she's over me, Ino...well, I can't stand her."
"But what about the others? There are older kunoichi...Hana Inuzuka, Kurenai, Shizune...Shizune. What about her? She's strong, intelligent, kind, good in bed, and not bad looking either. Why not her?" It takes him a moment to compute the look on Sasuke's face, a sort of twisted up look of...disgust? What the hell is that all about? "Kakashi, she's too old. And how the hell do you know what she's like in...wait, I don't want to know. I'm not marrying someone so much older, she's twice my age, and she's too...uninteresting." She was as well...but even so, that wasn't the point; he just needed to feel that the person looking after his baby was competent, and he didn't think the Hyuuga heiress could do the job. "Yeah, but I'm almost twice your age, and that didn't stop you. Think about what the child needs – someone to protect it, someone to teach it, someone who doesn't spend too much time on dangerous missions. You need to look at it from the baby's perspective, not your own." Her face darkened alarmingly, and he suddenly realized he might have crossed a line somewhere in his little rant.
"I didn't ask to be pregnant with this child, or stuck in this form for months. I didn't ask to be drugged out of my mind that night, so I ended up sleeping with you. And yet, ever since the baby came along, I've put my WHOLE LIFE aside, and focused on its needs, putting them above my own. So I'm not going to make that sacrifice last a lifetime by marrying a woman I'm not remotely interested in!" ...Oh. He had half forgotten Sasuke's part in all of this – it had felt to him that he was the only one sacrificing anything, because she would have a whole life with the child. It never occurred to him that she might be less than ready for the task of parenthood. He should have looked closer, instead of letting himself forget that this was still Sasuke Uchiha under all the curves and smooth skin.
"I'm...sorry. I didn't mean that. I know it's not been easy for you either but...I just...I want to give our child the best future possible. I've never...since I lost my comrades, I've had nobody precious to me. I suppose I'm a little unused to caring." It was hard to force the words out, to let down that barrier he'd kept up for so long. It hurt to actually talk about them in the past tense, but he didn't want Sasuke to misunderstand. He wanted her to see that it was as important to him as to her, that hers weren't the only sacrifices.
She just sat there, pale and trembling slightly, looking at him with reddened, pouty lips...he got up and walked into the hall. "Look, I was up all night, I need to sleep." He glanced over his shoulder to see her response, but she just nodded, eyes hidden under those long lashes. He collapsed, fully clothed into his bed. Doing the right thing, letting go and letting Sasuke choose her own future...it was tougher than he'd thought, but he couldn't afford to mess up. There was the little one's life to put first now. And really, now he thought about it, he didn't want her stuck with some woman she couldn't stand, because she'd be a bad enough father as it was. Though it made his stomach twist uncomfortably to think of his pupil with Hinata Hyuuga...but then he couldn't really imagine Sasuke with anybody. Shaking his head into the silky pillow, her pillow, filled with the scent of her hair, he sank into uneasy sleep.
Oh dear. Kakashi's in denial, Sasuke's stressed out...well, I may be evil, but I'm trying to keep them in character. And seriously, can you imagine those two having a smooth ride? Why not review and tell me your thoughts? (hint hint) :D
Thanks for reading!