Oh my God. 10 reviews for chapter 13, favs, story alerts, everything! I got into my mailbox this morning and I had 26 e-mails, all from ! :O I was squeeing like a madwoman, my Vati was like "Have you gone mad again? And why are you on the computer? It's nine in the morning, get dressed first!" I just ignored him.
Honestly, my Vati is a true portly one. He even has a moustache.
6.30 p.m.
Back at the cabin
Kitchen
"Jas.. What are we cooking anyway?"
"I was thinking fish'n'chips and a salad.."
"Well, that doesn't sound so hard.."
"Yes, even you can do it."
Thanks besty pally.
5 minutes later
"Gee.. You know how to chop lettuce, right?"
"Of course. Who do you think I am?"
"Georgia."
"Is that an insult then?"
"Yes."
"Well, Jas.."
"What."
"Shut up."
1 minute later
"Georgia! You're supposed to cut the chunky piece out first!"
"Yes, Jas, I know.. I'm working in reverse."
"Reverse?"
"Yes."
"That's ridiculous and you know it."
"Is not."
"Is too."
"Is not."
"Is too."
"It just isn't, Jas, it just isn't!"
She looked at me.
Ten seconds later
"Is too."
"Shut up, Jas!" How can one person be so bloody annoying?
5 minutes later
I'm assigned to the tomatoes now. It's quite difficult, the tomato keeps rolling over.
One second later
Roll.
One second later
Roll.
One minute later
This tomato is clearly insane! It might make me go mad myself..
Ten seconds later
I stabbed the tomato with the knife and worked my way down. The seedy inside part slimed off everywhere, except on the cutting board itself.
3 minutes later
Cheese. I can cut cheese. I do it all the time. I might as well be Cheesy the Cheesefarmer from Hamburger-a-gogo land. I already have my horns, so..
2 seconds later
Brain! Shut up! Stop giving me disturbing thoughts that keep me off my cheese-duties!
1 second later
Did I just say "cheese-duties"?
Yes I did. I'm going mad.
3 minutes later
I put everything in a dish and mixed it up. Jas looked at the dish and had a minor tizz.
"You forgot the cucumber!"
"Oh, no Jas, the cucumber, how horrible of me, I'll never forgive myself, oh God, Jas, oh God!"
I dropped to my knees, just for the dramatic impact. Jas didn't get it, of course, and did a huff-glare combination at me.
"Stop it Georgia." She put the cucumber on my cutting board.
one minute later
Cucumber is easy! I wonder if I can do it faster.
2 seconds later
Yes!
1 second later
Oww. I cut my finger, it's gushing blood.
1 second later
Well, not gushing, but, you know.. Bleeding. A lot.
30 seconds later
Jas saw the blood and went into a strop. She yelled "Rollo, do you have a First Aid Kit?"
"Why, what did Georgia do now?"
"She cut her finger."
"Of course she did. Look in the bathroom cabinet."
What?!
one minute later
Jas is taking forever. How dare she leaving me bleed to death, my so called bestie.. I'll just put my finger in my mouth.
one second later
Hmm. Blood tastes a bit like metal.
ten seconds later
Dave came into the kitchen. He was looking at me sucking my finger. "What in the name of pants are you up to?"
"I just tried to cut the cucumber really fast, but I accidentally cut my finger.. No big deal."
"So.. You are sucking on you finger."
"Oui. Well, I was, before you so rudely interrupted my finger-sucking."
He smiled. "You do realize how rudey dudey that sounds to a mind like mine, don't you, Kittykat?"
Cheeky cat.
one minute later
Jas finally came in with the band aid.
"Here you go, Gee."
"What took you so long?"
"I couldn't find it, the only thing in the First Aid kit was a hump of moss. I had to look at it for a bit, so.. That took a little while."
"Right. I could have bleeded to death, Jas. Some bestie you are."
"Don't exaggerate, Gee, it's only a small cut."
"It's quite deep, Jas. Who knows what would have happened." Dave put in.
"Well.. Shut up."
She motioned toward my hand. I stook it out. She put the band aid around my finger.
"Thanks Jas."
She nodded.
two minutes later
Jas was frying up the fish. She let me do the chips. I had to butter up a flat, big pan, put the chips on them and shove it into the oven. That can't be too hard.
one second later
Or can it?
five minutes later
I shoved the buttered up flat pan into the oven. It had to "heat up" for a while.
Whatever, Jas.
ten minutes later
Finally, Jas allowed me to get the flat pan out of the oven. She gave me a giganticibus glove, to protect my hand with.
one minute later
I can't move my hand! Stupid glove. If it was alive, I'd kill it.
one minute later
I spazzed the chips out of the oven. The pan almost tipped over a few times, but the chips didn't fall off. Hmm.
one minute later
I'll tell you why. The chips are stuck to the pan! Hahahaha!
one minute later
Jas is going ballisticisimus! Oh, what larks! She's gone all red and huffy!
"I told you to butter it up, didn't I?!"
"I buttered it up, Jas!"
"Well, why are the chips stuck to the pan then?"
"Jeez Jas, I don't know, maybe they don't want to leave the pan. It might be cozy in chips-land."
She huffed.
one second later
She said the most ridiculous thing known to humanity. She said,
"It's probably because of your lack of brain activity, you're not interested in anything besides snogging!"
"Maybe it's your lack of interest, Jas. You're supposed to be my bestie, remember?"
She just looked at me.
one minute later
I got a spatula and scraped the chips off. They're not even that stuck to the pan!
ten minutes later
I only ruined about ten little chippies. No one died, right?
one minute later
I casually peeked at Jas's fish. It actually looks alright. Well, it did, before she started poking it like billio.
One minute later
"So.. We're having scrambled fish then, Jas?" I asked in my sweetest tone.
She was ignorez vous'ing me. Typico.
7.15 p.m.
We served dinner. It looked presentable enough. Sven, Rollo, Dave and Rosie dug in immediately. Dave said "Jas, did you make scrambled fish? Where'd you get that recipe?"
She got all wide-eyed and did the look-at-Dave-look-at-Georgia – thing. I just shrugged.
Ten minutes later
It tastes quite good. Better than the stuff Mutti normally 'cooks', that is le fact.
Five minutes later
Everyone, apart from Jas, has finished dinner. Jas is eating like she's elderly insane, vair, vair slow, that is.
One minute later
Double slow with knobs, if you think about it properly.
One minute later
We were all just staring at Jas, when Rosie said "What about desert?"
Sven looked at her. "Jah! Desert!"
He picked her up and took her outside. Madness personified.
One minute later
I'm not sure if I want desert, if desert is number-nine-with-Sven-in-the-bushes..
One minute later
I'm vair sure that I don't want desert now. The mental image is vair disturbing.
Thanks, brain.
One minute later
You're welcome, Georgia.
One minute later
OH MY GOD, SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
I've officially gone mad now.
One minute later
I might even have to go to a loony house. No!
Five seconds later
"Gee, what are you thinking about? Are you talking to your brain again?"
"What?!" How would Dave know about that? I really believe he has a mind reader thing going on, I really do..
"Well, if you're done talking, I thought we could take a walk to the lake."
One minute later
It's not that nippy noodles as it was the other day. I didn't bring my hoodie.
One second later
Dave brought the blanket, though. Oo-er, cheeky cat.
Five minutes later
We took off our shoes and are laying down now. Dave's left arm is under my neck. It doesn't sound that great, but it really is comfy.
One minute later
I'm seriously thinking about being an astrolo-whatsit. Stars are quite nice and twinkly.
Ten seconds later
I was zoning out for a bit, I think, because when I came "back", Dave was hovering over me.
Five seconds later
He's sitting on me, he's got my wrists pinned down on both sides of my head.
"Get off, you loon."
"Only if you'll do tig with me."
"Dave, I'm full of maturosity now."
"Well. I have no choice then.."
"What are you going to do now?"
"I'm staying right where I am."
He can't mean this.
Can he?
Two minutes later
Oh, he meant it.
One minute later
I pulled my knees up and tried to hit his back.
"Oh, you cheeky minx!"
He fell forward dramatically and snogged me.
Two minutes later
I nuzzled his neck and did a bit of lip nibbling. He got a bit limp and started to sink into me, when I rolled over to the left.
One minute later
I'm sitting on him now. I tried to pin his wrists down, but he's stronger than me, so he's pushing me up now.
Five seconds later
I just put my whole weight behind it and I fell right on him. That'll show him.
One minute later
Or snog him. One way or another. What a shame we can't have both..
Three minutes later
We're rolling around now. I would be laughing if I weren't snogging. This is so Jools'n'Rollo, it's unbelievable.
Two minutes later
Speaking of the devil. Or devils, in this case.
"Oy, calm down a bit, you two. Get a room!" Rollo was standing about two metres away with his arm around Jools. I could feel myself go beetroot, thank our good Lord Sandra that it's going dark already.
"Well, yeah, we were, er, well, er.." I was turning into a div!
Jools said "Steady, Ellen."
One minute later
Jools and Rollo are going for a swim in the undercrackers again. I'm just going to stay out of the lake tonight.
I won't let myself get talked over, no way.
One minute later
"Kittykat, please.. what if we go get some towels?"
"Okay.." Damn!
Ten minutes later
Oh my God! I'm wearing the black lacy undies! This is going to be fab.
One second later
On opposite day.
One second later
In opposite city.
One second later
In opposite-world, that is.
One second later
Shut up, brain!
One minute later
I took off my jeans. I was about to walk into the water, when Dave said "Are you going to swim in your t-shirt, Kittykat?" He was already in his boxers.
"Looks a whole lot like it."
"Would you do that to me?"
"What?"
"Take the sight of your nunga's away from me.." He grinned.
"Aren't you the cheeky one tonight.."
"If that would make you take your shirt off, yes." He made a face. "Oy, that sounded a bit rudey dudey."
"It is rudey dudey, Dave."
Ten seconds later
"I'll take off my shirt if you turn around."
"Gee, I already saw you in your undies."
"But not in these undies."
"There's no point in turning around if I'll see them anyway."
"But you won't be seeing them."
"Why not?"
"Turn around, Dave."
One minute later
Quiety mousey steps.. Little bitty mousey steps. Dave won't notice if I just..
One second later
Oww! Buggering ow! I bumped my toe into a stupid rock! I hate nature! I hate it!
I let out a small "Ow!"
One second later
"Gee, what are you doing?"
"Nothing!" Oh, bugger. He probably noticed me not being there.
"Where are you going?"
"Don't you dare to turn around!"
I ran off.
One minute later
I'll outrun him. This time, I will do it, I know I can.
Three minutes later
Wrong.
Dave jumped me from behind and pinned me to the ground. "Got you there, Kittykat."
I was just laying there, squished into the ground.
"You're mad, Dave."
"You ran off, Kittykat, don't you even start about assault and battery." He got up and sat on my bum. Ow.
"You mean to say that jumping your girlfriend can't be counted as assault and battery?"
"You're wrong, Kittykat, this is assault and battery."
And he squished me into the ground again. I groaned.
"I'll get off you if you play tig with me.."
"No."
"You can't say no to something you already started. You know you want to.. Bring out your inner child, Gee."
And actually, I did want to play stupid tig.
"Okay.."
"What's that?" He leaned in more.
"OKAY!"
He got off me.
One minute later
"As you were squished to the ground by your madman of a boyfriend.." he smiled at that "..I'll be it first. You get ten seconds."
"That's unfair! You're faster!"
"You better run for your life then.. You got ten seconds.."
Running off
I'm mad, mad I say. I'm actually running like a loon.
One minute later
I heard Dave go "RAWR!" behind me. I started running faster.
One minute later
I felt something vair mad against my bum.
"Tig."
Dave was laughing behind me.
One minute later
I turned around. Dave gave me a cheeky grin and laughed off. I ran after him.
Two minutes later
He tripped and fell over! Triumph!
One second later
I stuck my toe in his ear. "Tig."
He rolled over. "Aren't you going to help me up?" He batted his eyelashes.
"Vair feminine, Dave." I started running. I'm laughing like a loon. This actually is fun!
One minute later
Unbelievable. I've turned into a toddler. I must be mad.
But that's what you get, going out with someone called Dave the Laugh.
One minute later
In one instant, I was pinned to the ground again.
"Tig."
"Ow, fool."
He laughed.
"Go swimming with me, Gee."
"No."
"Why not?"
Because my undercrackers are a bit too much Sex Kitty today, the mad girl explained to her cheeky boyfriend.
As he actually is cheeky boyfriend, I'm not explaining anything.
Five seconds later
I just said "Hahaha!" Actually, nothing was really funny, but it saved me a gazillion times, so it will again. Dave looked at me. I just went for his lips.
Four minutes later
Number 4, 5 and 6, with a sense of virtually number 8.
Five minutes later
Well, not exactly virtually..
One minute later
Dave stopped snogging me, and looked into my eyes.
"Lace, Sex Kitty?" he grinned.
I said "Ngungh." Brilliant, as always.
Five minutes later
In the lake
I thought I might as well go swimming now. Que-est-ce que le point?
I'm actually beginning to wonder if there ever has been a point at all to begin with..
Two minutes later
We're in the middle of the lake now. I've got seaweed all over my feet.
One second later
Even though we're not in the sea.
One second later
We're in the lake.
One second later
What is it called then? Lakeweed? I can't imagine. That would be incredibly naff.
One second later
With knobs.
One second later
Oo-er.
One second later
Shut up, brain! Just shut up!
One second later
Dave put his arms around my waist and pulled me into him.
"What are you thinking about?"
"Well, there's seaweed between my toes."
"We're not in the sea."
"I know. That's what I said. Or thought."
He smiled.
"There's only one thing we could do about that."
Ten seconds later
He actually picked me up like a toddler! I'm laughing like a loon on loon tablets.
One minute later
He put me down on the blanket and crawled onto it in slow motion, panting like a fool.
"Are you adding dramatic effects, Dave?"
Suddenly, he held still in the middle of his path and looked at me.
A bit of a cliffy, but it's ten to one (AM) now and I want to go to boboland. Soo, here you go! Don't worry, it's only madnosity and the mindreading thing going on..
R you make my day! xx