Jade
"Oh silly me,"I say walking over to the stereo. I hit the button and it turns in as if nothing happened.
"Jade what's going on I thought you said your dad destroyed your door?"Tori says from across the room. I turn and see her looking at the door which seems to be unharmed.
"Was it just a nightmare?"she says and I feel myself getting upset.
"I'm pretty sure I didn't imagine it Tori,"I say rather harshly.
"I'm just confused babe,"she says trying to smile. Her phone goes off and she looks at it before looking back to me. In this moment I'm so mad I don't know what's happening. I have no out lit no way to express what I'm feeling.
"Maybe if you'd have answered the fucking phone last night you could have came over and seen what happened,"I scream.
"Jade I said I was sorry I was with my parents,"she says looking at the floor sadly. Her phone rings and I see her start o reach for it but stop.
"I really am sorry you know I'm always here for you,"she says putting on a small sad smile.I cross my arms and look at her.
"Don't lie to me,"I hiss at her,"I can't deal with you lying to me as well,"
She looks shocked and for some reason I can't stop the words that come spilling out of my mouth.
"I didn't make it up! My dad stormed in here and broke the stereo I don't know how everything hot back to normal...I'm not crazy!"I scream.
Tori nods and tries to hug me but I pull away quickly.
"Don't touch me!"I scream turning my back to her,"just fucking go! Get out!"
"I'm not leaving Jade...I know your not crazy...I never said you were crazy," Tori says calmly.
"I don't want you here!" I yell as I turn to look at her," just fucking leave!"
Tori looks like she's about to cry but somehow she holds the tears in and heads for the door.
"I'm going home call me when your done with this and want to talk,"she says shutting the door. I wait until I hear her footsteps on the steps stop and throw myself on my bed. I grab a pillow and it against my face as I scream and cry out everything. Once I'm calm I look at the clock and it tells me I've been at it for over two hours. That explains why my throat feels sore.
I walk downstairs into the kitchen and get a bottle of water from the fridge and as I turn to head back up to my room I see the note on the counter.
{Jade,
Last night things got out of hand and I lost my temper. I have replaced your stereo and door they should be installed before you arrive home from school. Meredith and I have gone to Tokyo for a business meeting and won't be home until best Thursday. Your mother called and said she is coming in on Wednesday and staying until Saturday morning. Please be home by 11 while we are gone and if you need anything ask Ms. Cheng the housekeeper she will be coming everyday to make sure you have what you need.
Dad}
I read the note as I'm walking up to my room and set it on the nightstand as I down the water and go into the bathroom. I strip and climb into the shower. The warm water feels so good I lose myself in it. My voice is raw but I can't stand the pain in my chest anymore and I start to sing the things I wish I could just tell Tori.
"When I was younger I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind.
He broke his own heart and I watched
As he tried to reassemble it."
I feel the tears start to fall again and I let them knowing I deserve to feel weak and ashamed.
"And my momma swore
That she would never let herself forget.
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love if it does not exist."
I can almost picture Tori's laugh as I'm singing and it makes me feel even worse. Me the person who can get her to laugh caused her to feel sorrow instead of happiness.
"But darling,
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception."
It's true I've never loved anyone like I love Tori and I can't believe I was so stupid to push her away just because she didn't answer the had a good damn reason she was with her parents it wasn't like she was ignoring me.
"Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul
That love never lasts.
And we've got to find other ways to make it alone.
Or keep a straight face.
And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable distance.
And up until now I have sworn to myself
That I'm content with loneliness."
I use to be happy alone it's true but now...I hate it...I need Tori she is the sunshine in my life.
"Because none of it was ever worth the risk.
Well you are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
I've got a tight grip on reality,
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here.
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up.
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream."
It has felt like a dream. This joy I've felt with Tori it was the best dream I've ever had and I've turned it into a nightmare.
"You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
And I'm on my way to believing.
Oh, and I'm on my way to believing."
I'm not on my way to believing I do believe...Tori is my world and my everything and I'll be damned if I'm going to mess that up.
"Tori I fucking love you and you've changed me," I say turning he water off.
I pull the shower curtain back and one face to face with my girlfriend who's smiling as tears run down her face. I'm in shock but give a smirk.
"I'm dangerous, I'm warning you
But you're not afraid of me
And I can't convince you
And I don't have to
I think you know me" I say and she nods throwing her arms around me.
(note)
bonus points to anyone who gets the reference of the last thing Jade says at the end of the chapter.