A.N. Thanks for all the reviews! They are really motivating. I am also loving all the suggestions for baby names. They are all so adorable. Hope you enjoy!

ALONE AND LIVE AT THE DEER HEAD

A Story by Elisabeth Carmichael

- - -

The harsh fluorescent lighting of the hospital room was infuriating with its intrusiveness, and at this moment, it was the last thing she needed. Elliot held her hand as tears streamed down her face.

"It's too early," her voice squeaked, barely audible. "El, it's just too early."

He wanted to tell her it would be okay, the babies would be okay, but he couldn't. Because he just didn't know. So instead, he held her hand and stroked her face and tried not to fall apart when she needed him to be her rock.

The nurses flitted in and out, recording stats and running tests, hooking her up to machines, speaking words of encouragement, all the while their faces creased with anxiety. Olivia just wanted someone to be straight with her. She needed reassurance from someone who could deliver the news convincingly. And the nurses were not giving her that.

"Okay Olivia, sorry about the wait, traffic with this snow…" Dr. Ittenbach's cheerful voice broke the fearful silence that had befallen the room. She leafed through Olivia's chart without furrowed brow and then turned to address them. "Now I can see you're worried about them being premature, but I want you to take a deep breath and listen to me." She paused and waited for Olivia to comply. "It will be okay. Their lungs appear to be developed and their weight looks good. At this point, the worst thing for them is worrying yourself to exhaustion. They will be fine. You need to know that and believe that so that your body can focus on a healthy, successful labor."

Olivia nodded and breathed a sigh of relief. Their lungs were developed. That was what she most needed to hear.

- - -

Eight at night. The searing pain that ripped through her body had Olivia wishing she hadn't so stubbornly rejected an epidural. But she had convinced herself that if Kathy could do it after a car accident with no epidural, she could certainly do it in a hospital without one. And now it was too late to change her mind. She channeled her pain into crushing Alex's petite hand and digging her fingernails into Elliot's forearm. Alex grimaced but continued to coach Olivia through the breathing.

"Alright, time to get these babies out." Dr. Ittenbach looked up at Olivia with a reassuring smile. "I see some hair."

Olivia let out a small smile before taking a deep breath.

"Now I want you to push on this next contraction."

Olivia nodded.

"Alright Olivia, push." Olivia pressed her chin down into her chest, eyes clamped shut.

Alex wiped a stray piece of hair from her face. "Liv, breathe."

After what seemed like hours, Dr. Ittenbach's grinning face peered up over Olivia's stomach. "Final push, you can do it!"

Olivia's heart constricted. In a few short moments she would meet her baby, face to face, a new life would be there, totally dependent upon her. Suddenly the concept of time seemed so odd, that the difference of a second could be so profound. Staring deeply into Elliot's blue eyes, she concentrated on one final push. And then she saw the unmistakable twinkle in his eyes that only ever appeared when looking at his children. She looked down to see the doctor hold up a tiny baby with a small patch of brown hair

"It's a boy!" The doctor grinned as she handed the baby off to a nurse.

A faint smile graced Olivia's lips as she watched her son being tended to. "He's so small." Her voice was delicate.

Elliot gripped her shoulder reassuringly. "He's perfect. Listen to that...already has the St…uh…Benson lungs."

"And your smile," Alex grinned broadly.

Three minutes later, Olivia delivered the second baby. Her eyes closed in exhaustion, then snapped open when she realized she hadn't heard a cry or the bubbly voice of her doctor saying whether it was a boy or girl. Elliot's grip on her shoulder tightened in fear.

"Why isn't it crying? What's wrong?" Olivia's eyes darted between Elliot and Dr. Ittenbach, desperately searching for an answer that wouldn't leave her with a permanent hole in her already fragile heart. "Please?" Her voice was weak and timid. "Please?" It came out as a whisper, accompanied by the torrent of tears streaming down her cheeks.

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