"We'll eat in the kitchen?" Jayce announced.

"Lead the way", Jim replied with a nervous laugh.

He looked around him as he followed her. "This is a fine house you have here."

"It was my parent's. I inherited it after they both passed away. I've lived here most of my life."

She led Jim into the kitchen and gestured toward the table,

"Please take a seat, what can I get you to drink, beer, milk, juice?"

"Water will be fine."

With this she reached for a glass and filled it with water. Next she took the dish from the oven and placed it on the mat in the middle of the table. As she finished setting the table and dishing out the food she continued to talk.

"Ray and I moved here to live with my parents when I and my husband separated. Ray was seven at the time. I really thought it was only going to be until my divorce came through. But about six months later, before everything was finalised, my dad had a stroke."

"How awful."

"That was a very long time ago. He made a good recovery but never regained full use of his left arm. As my mother had quite bad arthritis, I stayed to help out."

She smiled and said, "In many ways it was an ill wind. Staying here and becoming part of this household gave Ray and me the stability that had been missing for a very long time. My husband was not the most reliable person in the world."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't get me wrong, he was fundamentally a good person but he was reckless and irresponsible. In the beginning I was equally irresponsible. We were very young and immature when we married and I got pregnant straight away. I turned twenty a week after Ray was born. When I think of it now, I'm surprised we lasted as long as we did. Jack was six months younger and not ready to settle down. He did his best but he was a dreamer. He drifted from one job to another. All he really wanted to do was play music. Ironically, after he moved out and started gigging full time he became a better provider and he was always a good, if unconventional father to Ray. It did not matter where he was in the country, he phoned Ray at least twice a week and we received a monthly cheque."

Jayce became silent then pursed her lips and continued,

"He collapsed and died of a heart attack when Ray had just started his final year of high school."

"That must have been rough on Ray."

"I guess so but we were a tight little unit by then. My parents were a great support. Despite his disability, my father was a great role model for Ray. Ray was lucky really, he grew up with two good if dramatically different male role models. He's developed a great sense of self and the confidence that whatever he strove for in life if he stuck at it and worked hard he'd survive. He knew from the outset that job satisfaction was far more important than fame and success. Thanks to his relationship with his father, he also has great tolerance for diversity and accepts every individual for what they are."

"He sounds like quite a unique young man, I know now why I've warmed so much to him. You must be very proud of your son."

Jim could see the genuine warmth in her eyes as she said,

"You've no idea." Her eyes clouded over again and she asked.

"Are you sure he's going to be ok? This is the first time in his life I have ever seen him defeated."

"If half of what you have just told me is true he's going to be fine. He just needs a bit of time and space to adjust."

"But an overdose. If …if he had meant to do it."

"You need to trust that he is going to be ok."

"Thank-you, you're right of course I should not underestimate my son." she smiled.

Tears sparkled in her eyes as she cleared her throat and said,

"Now, let's eat."

They ate in silence for a while then Jim asked,

"What about your parents?"

"My dad died in 2000, a massive stroke. Ray was in college in Philadelphia by then. Then, in March 2004, my mother passed away in her sleep." She sighed sadly, "For the first time in my life I was on my own. I didn't react very well, I fear."

She started to laugh sadly.

"You know it's like both Ray and I went through our most rebellious phase at the same time. He was just finishing med school in Philly and his band had decided to move to Chicago so he was very unsettled. In my mid-forties, I suddenly became a real party girl. I know it was just a reaction to all the change.

A few months after my mum died, Ray started his internship in Chicago. He came home for a week before he started work and we had a major blow-up over a man I was seeing. It was stupid really. He could not cope with my behaviour, it was just so foreign. For the first time since he was born we actually drifted apart."

Jayce was quiet for a while, then she continued.

"Just over a year ago I started to take stock. I had been in a series of disastrous relationships and I was drinking too much. I knew I had to move out of destructive mode. Ray was off doing his own thing and we had very little contact for a while. I guess I've spent the past year trying to get back on track. At least I'm in a good place now, to be able to support Ray."

"Grief does strange things to people. But most people eventually return to some semblance of normality." Jim commented wistfully.

"I guess you're right. What about you doctor, how long have you lived in Baton Rouge?"

Jim smiled, "Please call me Jim."

He felt his stomach tighten as once again he felt he was crossing professional boundaries but somehow, it seemed like the right thing.

"Jim it is then, I'm Jayce, by the way."

"Well Jayce, I moved here temporarily after Katrina and well two years later I'm still here. I'm an associate professor at Tulane but I only lecture twice a week so I travel down to New Orleans and stay over the days I'm working there. I've cut back on my hospital workload. I now only consult at two small hospitals here in Baton Rouge and supervise a number of registrars."

"Don't you miss New Orleans?"

"Not really, I had only lived there for three years so I really had not put down roots."

"Oh!" Jayce said with a quizzical lift of her eyebrow.

"Yeah. Before that, I lived in Houston. I decided to leave when I divorced my second wife. Jake was away in college and Sandy was the only thing really keeping me in Houston. When I got the opportunity to teach in Tulane, I jumped at the chance. Maybe in some ways I was running away but I preferred to look on it as a fresh start."

"Is Jake still close to his mother?"

Jim smiled sadly then replied,

"Sandy and Jake are close but she's not his mother. Carrie, Jake's mum, passed away in 1990."

"Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's a long time ago, a lot of water under the bridge since."

"What happened?"

"We were both medics with the American Forces in Berlin." He paused a moment and stared at the ceiling before he continued, "She was seriously injured in a road accident the night the Berlin wall came down. She died a few months later having never regained consciousness. I suppose you could say I lost her the night of the accident."

"That must have been tough for you."

"I find it difficult to recall much of that first year. It went by in a bit of a blur. Jake was also injured in the accident so I guess I just focussed on him. Thankfully I had my mother and Carrie's family for support and some of our friends were amazing. Jake and I stayed in Berlin until the end of 1990."

He looked down then reached for a drink of water took a sip and continued.

"After unification, most American Military personel were withdrawn from Germany. I had almost completed my service by then. Before I was demobilised, I did a tour in the Gulf during the Gulf war. I sent Jake to stay with Carrie's family. Looking back, I cannot believe I abandoned my son like that, considering all he had been through. I may not have had a choice but I did not even approach the army to review alternatives. I just went. Then again, maybe I needed some time away. I left the army in June 1991 and moved to California for a few years."

He smiled, "That was a better alternative than uprooting Jake again. It was good having family support as I went through a fairly rough time after I came back from the Gulf. Looking back on it now, I figure that time must have been very tough for Jake but he never complained and he's never blamed me."

"You were obviously grieving."

"Yeah, my life had been turned upside down. There I was widowed and unemployed with a son to support and no clear idea of where I wanted to go next. I did some locum work in a number of hospitals around LA but my heart was not in it. I was drinking a lot and my in-laws were ignoring the fact and simply supporting Jake as much as they could. They were saints. As you can see, I can very much relate to where you were at after your mother's death."

Jayce smiled.

"Yes. I guess many people have the same crutches and the same reactions to grief."

"Thank God, most of us have the capacity to overcome. Ray will overcome too, you know."

"I never thought of the fact that he is actually grieving."

"He is Jayce, he has lost a lot and is still trying to figure out what he can salvage. We all need to give him time. He has to find his own way through this. All you can do is support him as much as he allows you to. Most of all you need to give him space and respect his wishes." He looked intensely at her and continued. "You need to know that it is my professional opinion that he is not a danger to himself."

Jayce simply nodded.

"Thank-you. I needed to hear that." She smiled. "It really has helped to talk. I know you did not have to come all the way out here tonight. I appreciate that you did."

"It had been well worth my while, I've just enjoyed a far better dinner than what awaited me at home. I've become a bit of a TV dinner addict of late."

"That's not good."

"Oh, I exaggerate slightly. I try to eat at least one decent meal a day and I never skip breakfast. Look, its getting late. I'd better be going."

"Thank you so much, once again. I'll sleep much better after talking to you."