AN: This is for my sister Catmagnent who is very annoying when she butchers song lyrics and then laughs about it. Here you go girl, this is what I think about every time you start doing that.
And by the way readers: every word out of the idiot woman's mouth in this story is a quote direct from the mouth of Catmagnent, I'm certain of this because she doesn't mind repeating herself and then laughing about it all over again. It makes me very sad to know I share DNA with her sometimes. :'(
Disclaimer: Johnny is owned by the brilliant Jhonen Vasquez. The song 'Blinded by the Light' is owned and/or sung by Manfred Mann. I own nothing but my own thoughts on this subject!
Johnny just stared in horror at the woman in front of him. The woman that was currently singing, out loud and in public, what was supposed to be a fairly inoffensive song.
"Blinded by the Light! Revved up like a douche! Like a runner in the night!"
He approached her with caution. Anyone who could butcher a song like that and appear happy about it had to be either crazy or at least mentally twisted and he didn't care to find out which.
"Mama's dumber's bummers! And the summers! With a teenage dip o' mat!"
Stepping in front of the woman he startled her into shutting up her off key singing, much to the delight of everyone around them.
"Excuse me ma'am, but do you understand what you are saying? And that those are not the correct lyrics for that song?" He asked politely, thinking that maybe the woman was simply damaged in the head in some manner and so not completely accountable for her own actions.
But then she opened her mouth and sealed her fate.
"Hell yeah I do! It's fun and funny!" She gave a really big grin.
"I mean: If you're gonna rev up a douche you should get a massingil or a summers eve, hook it up to a hose attached to an air compressor, tell a woman to spread her legs and prepare for a coochie cleaning! When it's all over it'll glow!" She then began to laugh at her remark as if this was the greatest witticism ever.
Eye twitching he knocked her upside the head and started dragging her off into the shadows, accompanied by the applause of everyone who had been covering their ears for the past half hour.