The Camera Loves You

By Asynca

The walk to the conference centre from the main hotel was all under cover. Sam and I walked together the following morning, but in silence. Larson was leaning against the door frame waiting for us.

We weren't exactly not talking to each other, but it must have been clear that something was amiss because he looked between us with his pale eyebrows up in his hairline. "Did I miss something?" he asked. "World War Three, maybe?"

What he'd actually missed was Sam raiding the minibar while I pretended to be very interested in what was on BBC International news. It was some actual news for a change; although they did mention the failed Nishimura Corporation takeover and had some market analysis of possible reverberations. There was also some economic discussion about Greece and Cyprus and some other issues I couldn't have cared less about. All it effectively did was give me a reason to not make eye-contact with Sam as she drank everything that wasn't nailed down.

While she was passed out on her bed and snoring a little, I'd managed to find a way to rationalise my feelings. I had all sorts of men try to do all sorts of things to me on Yamatai, obviously subconsciously I was looking to make safe choices. I wasn't completely convinced by that explanation, but it felt a whole lot more comfortable than having to consider what my future might be if that wasn't the case. Not that I'd really thought that much about my future beyond uni, except when it came to all the exciting places I could explore now I wasn't restricted by semesters and exams. I just always kind of assumed I'd get married and have children, even though I wasn't really interested in either.

While I watched Sam sleep, I reflected on how odd it was to have such a dilemma and not to be able to discuss it with her. I was used to even telling her the smallest things about me, it was a huge omission to not be sharing this. I was desperate to know her assessment of what she'd discovered about me, but at the same time I couldn't bear to hear it. If no one said it, it wasn't real. It was just me being fucked up over what had happened to us.

Larson was clearly waiting for an explanation. I shook my head dismissively, having no desire to joke about it. "Jet lag," I lied as I walked past him.

He followed us inside. There were signs with the Natla Technologies logo and arrows pointing us towards rooms, so I didn't need his assistance to find the briefing. Sam actually pushed past me when I stopped at the entrance to the theatre, and I was taken aback by it. It was such an angry gesture. I reached out and took her arm. She looked back at me and shook her head, pulling away, but less abruptly. Well, I didn't want to push her, I thought. She's probably wondering who the hell her best friend is.

I watched her sit down near the rear of the theatre and sink into the backrest of her chair, looking like she'd not slept in a week. All she needed to complete the picture was sunglasses.

"No sleep?" said a sultry voice behind me.

My hair stood on end. I could practically feel Ms. Natla's presence like a weight on me. "Depends if you differentiate between sleep and unconsciousness."

She chuckled; it was a low sound I could practically feel in my spine. I felt delighted I'd caused it. "Well, I'm pleased to hear you're taking advantage of all the hotel has to offer," she said, putting a hand on the small of my back. She was merely ushering me inside the small auditorium and the touch was purely professional, but it lit me up as if I'd been doused in kerosine. "We'll begin shortly."

I let her lead me to a seat near the front, looking over my shoulder to back where Sam was. She wasn't looking at me. I worried about that as I sat down in the chair and unfolded the lecture table. "You won't need that," Ms. Natla told me and I saw she was referring to the table. Standing over me, she watched me for a moment before leaning forward and reaching out towards my lap. My heart was absolutely in my throat as she stowed the lecture table by my side again, giving me a very deliberate view down her ample cleavage. When she straightened, she caught my eyes and held them for a moment before she spun and approached the lectern.

She was flirting with me, I realised. I had no idea whether she meant it to lead anywhere, but there was absolutely no doubting that look she'd just given me. Did that mean she was...? I watched her organise herself up the front of the room. She was so completely calm and confident; I envied her. However, I was also terrified that she might do it again, because I just had no idea how to respond to it.

There were various other people slowly dribbling into the theatre. I watched them enter, picking out the engineers from the researchers and trying to discern who everyone else was. They were all so casual, as if they did this every day. One of the men was talking on his mobile and I could hear him saying, "Don't worry, honey, Daddy will be home before your concert." He handed his phone over to Larson before he sat down as if he'd done it a hundred times. I felt butterflies in my stomach: people actually made a living out of this. I wasn't doomed to be another Whitman; I could do this, this could be my normal!

"I'd thank you to take your seats quickly, we've got a lot to get through," Ms. Natla said into the microphone, and the rest of the people milling around quickly followed her instructions. "I'd like to take this opportunity to remind everyone, especially the newcomers, that no notes are to be taken during this briefing. If you forget any details you're welcome to consult other signed project members."

I glanced back at Sam again; she looked completely lost amongst the sea of archeological project workers. My heart pulled, but I couldn't call out to her to come down next to me now. I looked back to the front.

Ms. Natla gestured toward me. "Stand up, Lara. Everyone," she addressed the auditorium as I stood, "I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce you to the lead, Ms. Lara Croft." Everyone clapped politely, and I blushed with pleasure at the introduction. This was the sort of attention I wanted. "I'm sure many of you will recognise her from recent events. We're hoping she'll give her Midas Touch to this project, too," she smiled warmly at me. That smile... I couldn't help but return it.

I heard a noise in the back of the room. When I looked over, I could see Sam shimmying across a row of people to excuse herself. I wanted to follow her but that would be out of the question given the warm welcome I'd just been given. I couldn't even text her.

Having no other option, I sat down and listened to the rest of the briefing.

It was quite complicated and I was so excited about the overlap of Inca civilizations and the myth of Atlantis that I desperately wanted to have some space to think over the details. She showed a few slides of the caverns and rock formations underneath the site location – which wasn't mentioned – and using a laser pointer indicated the suspected structures and tombs given the density of the rock and underground water formations. I wasn't so keen on the concept of spelunking, but perhaps it would be worth it for the opportunity to be involved with the dig. A geologist then got up to speak about the challenges of working with structures at such depths and I looked over the audience to see all the engineers with deep frowns on their foreheads.

Towards the end of the session, Ms. Natla returned to the lectern and reminded everyone that there were strict laws governing the removal of artefacts and rules about how to work with ancient structures. Her solution to this was that all movement of any discoveries was to be supervised by me. Everyone seemed to be satisfied by that request, everyone except me, that is. While I was familiar with the laws various East Asian countries, I was completely unsure of the laws in Peru. I also had no way of researching them without a computer or a phone.

When the briefing was over, I had to wait for Ms. Natla to settle some sort of dispute with one of the other archeologists before I could speak with her. He was very angry about some detail and was unleashing a tirade of French at her. She listened politely and then told him he was welcome to leave the project if he was unhappy with her decisions.

As I approached, he turned to me and said in a heavy French accent, "And how old are you, eh? Twelve? Thirteen? This is unbelievable, unbelievable!"

I stared at him, taken aback.

"I'll tell you what she is, Pierre," Ms. Natla said, her voice steady. "She's qualified and experienced."

He looked from me to Ms. Natla and threw up his hands in the air, yelling something in French. He then stormed off.

Stunned, I watched him leave.

"Pay no attention to Pierre," Ms. Natla told me after he'd exited the auditorium. "He's just sore because he's lead the last three projects I've done."

"Oh," I said. His comments made sense, now, but they didn't feel any better.

"Now," she said, turning to give me her full attention. "Was there something you wanted to ask me?" The tone of voice made it difficult for me to string together two thoughts.

"My expertise is East Asian Civilizations," I said, forging through the butterflies. "I don't know anything about how to correctly process or do all of the legal paperwork for anything we find here."

Ms. Natla gathered up her notes from the lectern and tucked them neatly into her briefcase. "No concerns there," she said, fastening the buckles.

I didn't understand.

"We're not going to follow any of the local laws." When I stared agape at her, she waved her hand at me. "No one does in Peru. Whoever pays the Department of Environment the most money can take whatever they want." She indicated the people leaving. "They're mostly all scientists, though, and they have no idea how to preserve and and pack anything they dig up. You do." She pulled her memory stick out of the projector and tucked it inside her breast pocket. I followed her as she walked out of the auditorium. "I hope you and your friend will sleep better tonight," she said. "We'll fly you out on site first thing tomorrow morning."

I couldn't hide my excitement about that detail, and she shot me with that half-smile again. "We'll have pre-drinks tonight in the hotel bar, though," she said, using the lowest register of her voice. "Anyone in the project is welcome to join us, especially the lead archeologist."

I normally didn't really enjoy going out – it wasn't as if I hated it, but it wasn't on my list of favourite pastimes – but wild horses couldn't have dragged me away from whatever it was she had invited me to.

I half-jogged, half-walked out of the auditorium: I couldn't believe I was actually going to be part of this project! Yamatai seemed like a hundred years ago, and all I could think about was that I might very well be the first person to look at the Scion since Qualopec had taken it from Atlantis. I couldn't even imagine what that would feel like. My heart was positively singing.

I wanted to find Sam so I could tell her what she'd missed out on, but I thought I might duck back to the hotel room first to grab a jumper. It was colder than I'd expected in Lima – it was nearly winter in the Southern Hemisphere, after all. I walked briskly through to the bedroom, tucking my access card back in the pockets of my army pants.

Sam was lying face-down on her bed.

I stopped in my tracks. "Sam?"

"Go away."

Well, she couldn't have said anything more likely to make sure I didn't go away. Instead, I sat down on the edge of her bed and tentatively put a hand on her back. I wasn't really sure what I'd done to make her so angry with me. "Ms. Natla's invited us to drinks tonight," I said, thinking that if she wasn't interested in all the dry details she might at least enjoy some socialising. "Perhaps we could–"

She interrupted me by turning abruptly over. "Are you going to hook up with her?"

I think my eyes nearly fell out of my face. "No!"

Sam rolled her own eyes at me and turned over again. "If you don't come up tonight, at least I'm going to know where to find you."

I stared at her back, feeling my stomach drop. I guess that's how she felt about what she'd discovered about me, then. I had a horrible thought where I imagined she might fly back to Japan without me, and I wondered if it was going to ruin our friendship. It just didn't make sense, though, I just couldn't imagine Sam would have such a problem with my sexuality if I turned out to not be straight. I just didn't know how else to interpret her behaviour. "Sam, don't be like this."

After a few seconds, she sighed and slowly turned over. She tucked her hands behind her head, looking at the ceiling instead of me. "She's hot, I get it," she said. "But don't you think all of this is kind of... sudden?"

"All of what?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. I just get kind of a bad feeling about the whole thing."

I had absolutely no idea what she meant, but I was reasonably certain it had nothing to do with my sexuality so I felt relieved. Maybe she was just feeling left out because normally she had a crew of several people to be ordering around and a camera in her hands. "It seems pretty well organised," I told her, thinking of the briefing. "All the usual people are there. There's a lot less archeologists and labourers than usual, but otherwise it seems pretty normal."

"Maybe it's just her, then."

I frowned. "She's just your garden variety corporate."

Sam shrugged. "Just calling it like I see it." She looked at me. "Don't get me wrong, Lara, you can sleep with whoever you want. It would be kind of hypocritical of me say anything else." I felt like a tonne had just been lifted from my shoulders. "But she's, I don't know..."

I knew exactly what she meant, but didn't have any way to express it. "Yeah, there's something about her."

"Doesn't it bother you?"

It did bother me, but at the same time I was already excited about socialising with her outside business meetings. I wondered what she'd wear.

Sam touched my hand. I noticed her eyes were red. "Okay," she said, and then took a breath. "You know I'm here for you, right?"

That made me want to cry, myself. I pulled her up to give her a tight hug. Just that simple phrase was perfect; it didn't say anything about what she knew I was struggling with, but it said enough. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "Thank you."

She nodded, and when we pulled away I could see her eyes were wet again. She hurriedly wiped them. "I'm a mess." She laughed miserably.

I hugged her again. "We can be total wrecks together."

She held my arms, her lip quivering. She let a few seconds pass before she spoke. "You're everything to me."

I nodded, thinking I was so stupid of me to have worried about what she'd think about whatever I was going through. Of course she'd be there for me. I touched her face. "You're my only family," I said. I had thought it was a rather lovely thing to say, but it made her collapse into tears. Well, I figured as I hugged her again, we were completely in pieces at the moment. She probably didn't know which way was up, either.

After dinner, I raided Sam's suitcase for evening wear. The only piece I could bring myself to actually put on was a strapless top which unfortunately showed off the entire length of my scar and a series of scratches and bruises on my upper arms. "Do you have a cardigan or something I could put over this?" I asked, burrowing through all her clothes.

She was watching me, hugging her pillow. I had tried to convince her to come with me, but I supposed I couldn't really subject her to more archeological babble if she didn't want to hear it. In the end I'd let her win the argument to stay in the hotel room. "Only my jacket," she said.

I tried on her jacket, but she was a size smaller than me and the shoulders were too narrow. I gave up. "Looks like I'm showing that French man I'm not your average thirteen year old," I said, brushing my hair and tying it up again. Sam gave me a very odd look, but didn't ask for clarification. I looked back at the mirror. "This doesn't look too grotesque, does it?"

She shook her head. "You can't really see the details in this light, and it'll be darker anyway." She looked down at my army pants. "I'm more concerned about you trying to pull off 'hipster'."

I looked down my front. "But there's black in them, and this top is black. They sort of go together." She raised an eyebrow. I made a face at the mirror, fixing my pendant. It looked great with the strapless neck. "That's it, I'm just going to go down there like this. I'm sure no one will notice."

The hotel bar was full of women in cocktail dresses and men in suits. Larson stood out like a sore thumb in his flannel, and he obviously couldn't have given two hoots. "Lara!" he called when he saw me, wandering over and offering me a swig of his beer. What was I, ten? I put up a hand to turn it down. "Your loss, girl," he said, and put it to his lips, drinking the whole lot. "This stuff's gold. Can I buy you something strong?" He winked at me.

"I don't think they make drinks strong enough for that," I told him dryly.

He shrugged. "Pity. I like 'em tough," he said. I had the feeling the only requirement for Larson was that they were breathing. I wasn't even sure that even that was a firm condition for his type, either. I shivered, thinking of Yamatai.

"Can it, Larson," Ms. Natla came up behind him and gave him a hard stare. She probably said something else, or maybe he did, but I was feeling to overwhelmed and self-conscious to have caught it. Ms. Natla was wearing a knee-length satin dress that was scoop neck. It displayed all of the cleavage that she'd so cleverly hinted at in her suits as well as defined collarbones and shoulders. Her calves couldn't have been a nicer shape, either. There were muscles, there. Had I misjudged her? Maybe she did get into exploration and digs as well as her desk work.

"Didn't bring a dress?" she asked knowingly when Larson had retreated back to the bar.

I sighed. "Is it that obvious?"

She looked me up and down. "Well, I rather like the army chic," she said. "It certainly suits your scars."

I nearly died of embarrassment. What had I been thinking? "I'll go change," I told her, stepping away.

She stopped me with a warm hand on my arm. "Stay," she said, catching and holding my eyes. "Strapless tops are so much faster to take off."

It was like I'd had the breath knocked from me. I couldn't believe she'd really just said that; I just gaped at her.

"Come have a drink with me," she ordered, and I couldn't refuse. She'd already reserved a booth in the corner, and there were two cocktails waiting for us: they looked like dry martinis. Even her taste in drinks was classy. I shouldn't have been drinking on the antibiotics, but she'd already handed me the drink and I'd already taken a sip before I had any sort of awareness of what I was doing.

We sat opposite each other on the crescent-moon seat. She leaned back, taking a sip and watching me. "There aren't that many women in this line of business," she said. "It's such a pleasure to be drinking with one of them." The way her lips turned on the word 'pleasure' was so erotic, I could barely manage to draw one breath after another. The satin of her dress didn't hide anything, least of all the lace of the bra she was wearing underneath. I could also see a faint line of her nipples. Her breasts just looked so full, I couldn't help but imagine turning them over in my hands.

"This isn't..." I began, but was unable to finish my sentence.

Her half-smile returned. "Oh, I know," she said. "You're fresh out of college, this is your first solo exploration." She leaned forward, so far forward I could see her belly-button through the gap between breasts. "It's fun, though, isn't it? These projects?" She crinkled her nose on 'fun'. "I bet you're really enjoying yourself."

She was just so intense. I felt like a mouse being hypnotised by a cobra – I couldn't move. I wasn't sure I wanted to move. "I am."

Her eyebrow pulled a little. She reached across the table toward me, tracing fingertips over the scar on my shoulder. "I've been doing these for years," she said, "I know exactly what to do, so if you have any questions, I'd encourage you to come to me." Her eyes were on my scar, relieving me momentarily from the weight of her gaze. "I have great plans for you, Lara."

When she said my name, I inhaled sharply. She looked up at me.

"Do you have any others?" she asked about my scar. I nodded mutely. "I'd like to see them."

I looked down at the torso of my top, and then at the crowd of people in the bar. Ms. Natla moved along the seat of the booth, coming up beside me. "No one can see us," she said. "And even if they did, there's no flashing cell phone cameras here, Lara. No one will ever know."

I looked at her, aware of how heavily I was breathing. Lifting the side of my top, I leaned back to show her the pink scar on my stomach. Her hand reached out and her fingertips traced it. I watched every movement, knowing exactly what I wanted her to do with that hand. Go lower, I thought. Go much lower.

She was against me, her lips against my ear. I leaned into them. "I know what you want," she murmured, and then took my earlobe between her lips. "I know exactly what you want."

God, and I wanted her to do it to me. All of it. No one had ever done this to me before; I was absolutely spellbound. She could have asked me to throw myself off a cliff and I probably would have without question.

Her fingertips dipped teasingly into the waist of my pants, it was absolute torture. She kissed my neck and under my chin while I lay back against the booth and her hand stroked across my waist. I wanted her on top of me, pulling off my top just as easily as she said she would and throwing me back against the seat. I wanted her lips all over me and, fuck, I wanted to do it all to her, as well.

How on earth does one person have this sort of power over another?

I was practically melting against the seat when she stopped, suddenly.

I opened my eyes and looked across at her. She was smiling, her eyes heavy-lidded. "I know how to get the best out of people," she told me, shifting across to the other side of the booth and straightening her dress. Then, cruelly, she stood up and lifted her half-finished martini from the table. "You'll thank me for this."

She raised her glass to me, took a drink, and then slipped into the crowd.

I stared after her, dazed.