Hey there my gorgeous readers...
Okay so I've posted like 3 chapters and I haven't gotten any reviews so I don't know if you guys are still reading, but I will complete this story because I don't want any unfinished stories on my page. I want all completed stories and besides I really wanna upload my new Brucas story.
This story will end hopefully with the next chapter and no I don't think I will do a squeal to this story... This will be my last Brathan story I'll be doing... After this story I will only be uploading Brucas stories since I get better readers and reviewers for those ones instead.
I hope you guys have had an awesome weekend so far and I hope I can finish this story before Christmas.
Anyway here is the next chapter... Enjoy!
NPOV
My heart is broken... My life is a mess and it's all my fault. I can't imagine how much Brooke is hurting right now. I hate myself for the way she looks at me. I hate myself for the things she has said to me, but I know it's all my fault. I know I've caused it and I know there's no way back for us... There's no way back from this. No matter how much I wish and hope and even maybe pray I know Brooke Davis hates me and probably more than she ever did before and I don't blame her not one bit, but I have to at least try and fight for us... Fight for her.
The look she gave me in the car park yesterday after I told her I love her killed me inside. Jake and Lucas were right of course; I shouldn't have gotten close to the girl I broke 2 years ago. I shouldn't have spent so much time with the girls life I ruined, but I did and I fell in love with her and now that doesn't matter... Nothing matters anymore because I've lost the one person I've ever cared about and it sucks, but I have to finally live with some sort of remorse for what I did. I got close to the girl I ruined for one reason and one reason only to try and make up for what I did without telling her, but instead I fell in love for the first time ever. I fell in love and it was wrong, but I guess the saying is right when they say you can't help who you fall for because I fell for Brooke Davis and now I've lost her forever and I die inside every day since.
"Natey... Natey" Aria my sister calls out to me. Usually she'd be at a friend's house, but today I decided to pick her up from day care early so she could be my distraction. I hated thinking about Brooke because I hated the feeling I would get and if distraction stops that then I'll do anything to make that happen "Nathan look" I turn my gaze to her and see her pointing out of the window "Look it's Brooke" And she was right. Brooke had just gotten out of her car and was walking towards the ice cream mountain shop we were in. The shop door opens and in she walks straight past us and to the guy at the front. I don't think she saw us; well that was until Aria called out for her "Hey Brooke... Brooke" Brooke turns around and smiles at Aria giving her a little wave. Once Brooke had put in her order she walks over to our table not giving me a glance she just looks at Aria with a smile on her face and I could tell it was generally a happy one. I guess Aria does that to her.
"Hey there Princess" Brooke scoops Aria into her arms and hugs her "I've missed you"
"I've missed you too Brooke" Brooke then puts her down "Come sit with us" And for the first time since entering the shop Brooke's glowing hazel eyes land on me and I could see the emptiness and sadness in them making my heart break once again. I couldn't help, but look away and yet I could still feel her eyes bore into me.
"Not today Aria" She says and Aria's shoulders slouch in disappointment and I have to admit I was disappointed too.
"Brooke... Your ice cream is done" The guy from the counter calls out. Brooke looks over her shoulder and nods to him.
"Okay Aria I have to go sweetie, but I promise we'll do something soon okay" Aria nods and Brooke kisses her cheek quickly before walking back to the counter and taking the bag from the guy and walking out of the shop not bothering to look back.
Xxx
"Natey is Brooke still your girlfriend?" Aria asks as we walk into the house. Mom and dad were out of town for a while so Tanya the Nanny was going to come in the morning to look after Aria until they got back, but right now she was my responsibility.
"Erm..." I take off my jacket and place it on the hook behind the door doing the same with Aria's "No Ari she isn't anymore" I walk us to the living room "Wanna watch a movie?"
She nods and jumps up on the couch "But Brooke is pretty Natey... You should be her boyfriend again"
"I really wish I could, but it's too late now" I tells her "Which movie?" I hold up Frozen, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Beauty and The Beast. Aria smiles at all of them.
"Frozen first Nate" I nod taking the disc out and putting it into the player
"I'll be in the next room if you need anything okay"
"Can Brooke come and watch with me. She loves watching this with me Natey" I looked at her little face and my heart ached at how sad she looked wanting Brooke to come over.
"Maybe another time Ari okay" She just gives me a low sigh and nods turning back to the TV as the film starts.
Xxx
Why did it have to hurt being around Nathan? Why don't I feel hate and vengeful towards him? This isn't right... I should at least hate him twice as much as I did when I didn't know who he was, but I don't... I don't and that worries me... Kenzie and Joshua aren't here because of him and that is the only thing that I play in my mind to hopefully make me hate him eventually. I need to hate him otherwise I'm scared I won't be able to move on.
graduation was soon and then my life could continue in New York. I'll be away from him and everything that reminds me off him. I can move on. I really need to move on, but its harder than it sounds My heart aches for him every moment of the day and when I saw him today I just wanted to jump him and have him hold me like he use to. I wanted to have his gorgeous pumped lips on mine and feel the peace I always feel when I'm with him, but I can't... Can i?
No Brooke you have to be strong... What he did was terrible? He tore your life apart. Can you really forgive him for that?
My inner self was right. Could I really forgive Nathan for what he has done. Yeah okay so maybe he said it was accident, but he was drunk... If he wasn't a stupid teenager who drinks and drives then maybe Kenzie and Joshua would still be here and I'd be the happy go lucky girl I use to be.
Flashes from the years shared with Kenzie on our birthday or just in general flashed through my mind in a world pool.
"Brooke look what Mom and Dad got us" I turn around in my chair from my laptop and see Kenzie holding up two pairs of car keys "This one's yours and these are mine"
"No way" I squeal getting up and taking the keys from Kenzie "A BMW for real"
"For real and that's not the best part" I looked at her waiting for more to come "Yours is Red"
"Awesome!" I squeal again jumping up and down with her "And you have?"
"The mini copper I wanted in baby blue"
"Let go take our babies for a ride" I suggest throwing my reading glasses down on my bed and grabbing my jacket "Whatcha say Kenz"
"I say... Hell yes Brookie" She grins grabbing my free hand and pulling me out my room and down to the garage where our cars were.
That memory was just before she died. The cars were an early 16th birthday present. I felt fresh batch of tears unfolding from my eyes and then I thought back to Josh and the last time I saw him alive...
I was sitting in my room scrolling through facebook and replying to messages from friends when my bedroom door opened and Joshua came bundling in. He ran and jumped onto my bed. My parents were away for a couple of days on business and they would be back tomorrow evening. I closed my laptop and swivelled around in my chair to look at him lying on my bed. I raised my eye brow and shook my head. Was he drunk?
"Josh sweetie..."
"Are you mad at me?" He asks turning on his side to face me. He leaned up on his elbow and placed the side of his face in his palm "Is that why you wouldn't come to the party?"
"I'm not mad Josh" I assure him for the millionth time "I just wasn't in the party mood"
"You do know Maria and Kellie don't mean anything to me right?" He asks
I nod and cross my right leg over the left one "Yes Josh I know babe"
"Then why you still mad"
"I'm not, but I know your drunk right now" He nods giving me his goofy smile "Can I stay here tonight please?"
I nod and stand up walking towards the bed I lie down beside him "Of course you can. Mom and Dad are away anyway" I turn my head and face him. Our faces inches apart.
"You sure you're not mad anymore" I nod slowly and play with the hem of my night dress "Can I show you again how sorry I am" I smile at him and bite down on my bottom lip. He unlatches my lip from my teeth "You know that drives me crazy Brooke"
"Sorry..." And just like that he kisses me. Soft and gentle to start off with and that was the last time I saw Joshua alive. He died 2 days later.
I push all the sweet memories aside for a while and sit on my bed with my knees up against my chest and my arms wrapped around myself. I felt alone and I felt down. Time for the sad films and ice cream to try and make me feel better.
I was graduating in a week and then my life can move forward... Well I hope so anyway.
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Much Love Always Roch xoxo.