Title: Why Me?

Chapter: Shurplise!

A/N PLEASE READ! okay blood wolfe 92 wants me to make Draco and Harry kiss during a drunken game of Truth or Dare. Should I do it? *grins wickedly.* make your opinion based on this drunk Harry!

Warnings: M/M...mentions of Mpreg...eventually Ginny the Psycho...and...uuuhhh...that's all I can think of.

"Speech"

'Thought/Flashbacks/Dreams'

*animal thought/speak*

(Sorting hat)

~Parseltongue~

#sirius' dog mind/subconscious#

HOUSE POINTS!

Slytherin- 55!

Gryffindor- 50

Ravenclaw- 10

Hufflepuff- 20

IMPORTANT! - Lashemoushe is pronounced (lah-sshey-moo-shay). I will explain later what it means.

last time...

"Mid-jump Sirius was thrown back by one of Draco's razor-sharp wings...He landed in a heap at the bottom, bruised and aching."

"Then Sirius started to run up the stairs as Harry came running down them sobbing... but don't worry! I sent the boys after him," Hermione had explained.

"It's Luna, she's still up there with Draco!" Hermione had said, informing Professor Snape.

"Professor...I know that you are my father," Draco had stated before seeing his "happy" wings.

Draco nodded and calmly said the password to unlock the door. He opened it and searched the room, only to find that Luna wasn't there.

"Where is she?" Draco asked, not noticing that there wasn't a single shadow in the room. Severus hmmm'ed before turning on heel, his wings dissolving back into his skin. Draco tried to recall how to do that but quickly gave up and trotted after his father.

The scene they walked in on was pure chaos. Sirius sat on a couch and was yelling at Madame Pomfrey about gutting Draco. Madame Pomfrey was yelling right back about being reasonable.

"Gut him! Gut him, Sirius! What did he do, flick Harry? No, what you should be doing is skinning him alive!"

Draco winced at her tone. He looked around to find his Head of House sobbing into Dumbledore's shoulder. Various students were milling around and Hermione was yelling at Ron, Blaise and Joseph.

"You. Don't. Know. Where! He! IS?" the bushy haired girl shrieked, causing the few students in the common room to jump.

"We saw him!" Blaise said.

"He was right there!" Joseph added.

"And then he was gone!" Ron tried to explain.

"Did you even think. Of using! THE MAP!" she shouted.

"Harry didn't tell me where it was!" Ron said, cowering under Hermione's glare. Blaise and Joseph just shrugged helplessly.

"You have until the count of five to get out of my sight. One..." The three boys bolted.

Somewhere in the Castle...

Harry sat in an unused classroom. Around him were three empty bottles of Firewhiskey along with his invisibility cloak. The dark-haired teen always kept a stash of Firewhiskey in this classroom for just this purpose. To get as drunk as...well...as drunk as a very drunk person.

He watched the center of the room with vivid interest as the shadows started to race together as if pulled by an invisible shadow magnet. Harry watched in awe as Luna stepped out of the shadows and wiped herself off as if it was normal to travel that way.

"How-how you be doing that? How you doing that?" he asked, slurring his words together.

"Shadow Stepping. The Chenariams taught me how to. Harry, we should get back to the common room," Luna said, as she helped the green-eyed boy stand.

" 'ight," Harry said, as he put his invisibility cloak over himself with much difficulty. Luna smiled and skipped out of the room. Harry trailed behind her as she led him down two flights of stairs and through several corridors. They arrived at the portrait of Vivian.

"Ms. Lovegood," Vivian said, inclining her head. Luna curtsied to Vivian, as she was the niece of the Founder. Harry chose that moment to giggle very loudly. Vivian raised an eyebrow. Harry giggled again. Vivian turned her liliac coloured eyes so they were resting on the empty space the sound had come from.

"Harry," she said grinning. Harry pulled the invisibility cloak off and smiled at the golden-haired witch. "Is he drunk?" Vivian asked Luna. Luna nodded. Vivi swung her portrait open silently as Luna placed the invisibility cloak back unto Harry.

They entered the common room to find it slightly subdued. Professor Cayree sat next to her uncle; tears falling into the plush carpet. Draco and Professor Snape sat in seafoam green chairs talking. And Hermione sat there staring at Luna oddly. Harry gave a laugh that lasted for a whole two minutes.

Harry's POV

It ish greape! I I'ms invici-invinif- uhh no no noone could sees me. I look over at-at the brown hair lady. Aw... she sad. But after that the girf yelled really loud! She yelled

"Harry! Come out!"

Who? Where dat man at? I looked everywheres in room. Waaaaaiiiiitt. I name is Harry. I ish hiding...

End Harry's POV

Harry pulled off the invisibility cloak. "Shurplise!"

"Harry, are you...drunk?" Hermione asked timidly.

"Ummm...I think sooo..." Harry said, nodding his head.

"Mr. Potter," Professor Snape spat, looming over Harry.

" 'Ello Porfesh- Porgfet,...HEY BATMAN!" Harry shouted. Sirius howled with laughter. Severus glared at him. Draco came up to Harry his wings fluttering with excitment.

"Woah!" Harry said. "You ish real purty."

Draco gave a wide grin and looked up at his father. Severus gave him a stern look that clearly meant 'NO'. The blond Veela pouted and stalked back to his seat.

"Whyda. Why'd ya? I mean it rude...to...the purty man."

"You're drunk."

"You're sexy!" Harry said, falling in to a fit of laughter. "And you...um...you...what was the question?" Harry said, slouching over.

"There was no question."

"Oh. Well, um, okay today I was...what?"

"I didn't say anything Potter!" Snape shouted.

"I-i thought you interrupted me. Don't interrupt me!" Harry said, trying to take a menacing step forward."Yo! Mr. Wing-Man," Harry shouted towards Draco's general direction. Draco walked over, wings retracted.

"Yes Harry?"

"Not you! Green Guy!"

"Umm?"

"Cuz I have to ashk him where the other winged guy is."

"Other wing-man?"

"Yesh. Da one wit the scary black wings."

The Veela in Draco was extremely upset. 'My match thinks I'm scary! Maybe he'll refuse to be my mate!'

Wings transpired from his back and there was a sudden chill in the common room.

"Hey! I has to say a few words to you!" Harry said glaring. "You issh a bad pershon! You made me cried and you hurt the man-dog and yoush scary and me!" he shouted hoarsly.

Draco sunk to his knees and started to cry, unknowingly lowering the temperture in the room to near freezing.

"Aw no. No cry Lashemoushe. I done not mean it." Harry said as he clumisily hugged Draco. "You issh good Lashemoushe."

Draco's sobs subsided as he retracted his wings. He wiped the tear tracks away with a hankerchief and stood up slowly. Severus glided over and pulled his son into a hug. All the girls in the common room shamelessly awwed.

"Aurgh! My head..." Harry whined.