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My mind was suspended in an endless abyss.
No light, no sound, no feeling.
Only an infinite and silent void.
Softness.
Weightlessness.
The physical world had ceased to exist. It was as if my body had released me.
As if I was pure sentience now, a fleshless consciousness suspended in the emptiness of a vast universe.
I peered into the void, searching for any points of reference. I found nothing.
Total darkness. Total silence . . . Total Peace.
There was not even the pull of gravity to tell me which way was up.
My body was gone.
This must be death.
Time seemed to be telescoping . . . stretching and compressing as if it had no bearing in this place. I lost all track of how much time had passed.
Ten seconds? Ten minutes? Ten days?
Suddenly, however, like distant fiery explosions in far-off galaxies, memories began to materialize, billowing towards me, like shock waves in the vast nothingness.
A murky green light . . . thunder. . .
Then, all at once, they came back. The images tore through me, garish and agonizing.
A bell tolled, loud and reverberating, shuddering through the darkness towards me, growing louder and louder, as if urging my mind to follow.
I was stood quiet alone in the middle of a large patch of lush green grass surrounded by equally spaced uniform trees.
I looked down at my bare feet and curled my toes into the soft blades of spongy grass. The ground felt elastic beneath my feet, bouncy and velvety.
I held my hand up to my forehead and shielded my eyes from the bright, orange sun as I scanned the park - again - and counted the bell chimes; one, two, three.
He was an hour late.
With a huff I dropped back down onto the picnic blanket, lay back, closed my eyes and with my arms spread out I stroked the soft blades either side of the tartan blanket. The sun was hot. The wine would be getting warm and the cheese soft.
He'll be here, he said he'd be here . . . I told myself over and over again.
Then, through my closed lids, darkness replaced the suns orangey glow. I snapped my eyes open.
Erik, the man I had been waiting for, was standing above me shielding the sun, his grinning, cleanly shaven face upside down from my laid out position on the blanket.
"You're late," I said charringly, but it wasn't apologetic feelings I was receiving from him, it was humor.
A little irritated, I sat up, then stood up and while I angrily brushed my skirt down I looked him critically up and down.
He was wearing a white t-shirt and beige trousers, his jacket was slung over his left shoulder, he was sporting a nice pair of sunglasses and a cream hat was sat on his head covering his reddy-brown hair.
"Forgive me?" he pleaded playfully, extending his arms wide in submission.
I did not answer; I just continued to glare menacingly at him. He shrugged, placed his jacket over the wicker picnic basket, took off his hat and sunglasses and moved to sit down; but he never made it.
I slipped my arms under his and around his back and squeezed him into a tight hug. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me against him.
Cradled in his arms, I felt the comforting reassurance that everything was alright, that for this one afternoon I could forget about everything and, even if it was just for one afternoon, it would be just me and him again; I would not let anything interrupt.
I smiled and moving onto the tip of my toes, I lay my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I had missed him, and I was about to voice my feeling, but, ironically, as if he had read my mind, he got there first.
"I've missed you," he mewed against my neck.
I pulled away and looked up, "Ditto," I said, smirking as I tried not to laugh at the irony.
He leant forwards and placed a kiss on my forehead, then holding me at arm's length he affectionately surveyed my eighteen year old appearance.
"Now," he said, smiling and patting my shoulder as he released me, "It's too hot, let's eat before the wine evaporates!"
Light!
The endless void in which I hovered was suddenly filled by a blinding white light. Blades of the white-hot rays streamed across the blackness, burning into my mind.
The light was everywhere.
And suddenly, within the radiant cloud before me, a beautiful silhouette appeared.
It was a face, blurry and indistinct . . . two bright blue eyes were staring at me across the void.
Then, along with the eyes, the blinding light suddenly disappeared.
The blackness returned, but I could now hear distant whispers echoing across the light-years of emptiness. Muffled voices . . .
No?
One voice, smooth, but calling unintelligible words, urging me forwards.
Then it happened.
Without warning my whole universe was ripped in two. An enormous chasm opened in the darkness; space itself had ruptured. A bright mist poured through the opening, then what felt like invisible hands were grabbing me, trying to wrench me from this world.
No!
I tried to fight them off, but I had no arms.
No! Please!
I wanted to stay in this peaceful, secure world.
But it was too late; they had gotten through, a voice sounded clearly through the mist, pain and darkness.
Please don't fight it, please . . . you'll die.
Pain tore through my chest as the powerful hands continued to pry and pull me through the chasm.
I already am dead! Leave me alone!
After a pause, there was one last unbearable heave.
I was suddenly on my back on a flat, cold surface and my lungs were burning, blazing, feeling like they were on fire, it felt like they were filled with smoldering sand.
I can't breathe!
Something was pressing down painfully hard on my chest, over and over again; I was spewing out the warmth.
I want to go back!
I felt like a child being dragged from the womb.
I was convulsing, coughing up the warm liquid. I felt pain in my chest. Excruciating pain. My throat was on fire. Someone was talking, trying to whisper but it was deafening.
It's alright, Evie, calm your mind . . .
My vision was blurred all I could see were dampened shapes. My arms and legs - my whole body felt numb.
My chest was heavier now, pressure, burning.
I can't breathe!
I was coughing up liquid and then, as my lungs reached a painful barrier, an overwhelming gag reflex overpowered me and I gasped inwards. Cold, sharp, air slashed piercingly into my lungs and my eyes snapped open.
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