Happy had picked up Alex's dropped phone and talked to Tig before hanging up. He watched as the woman stood there in complete shock, not moving, just blinking. Happy sighed as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards his bike. She seemed out of it as she placed the helmet on her head and climbed on the back as if on auto-pilot. The drive to Caracara was short and the smell assaulted them before they even pulled up on the lot.
Happy turned his bike off and Alex threw her leg over the side to get down and handed him the helmet. She walked up to the yellow tape that was surrounding and just stayed there. She noticed that the Sons seemed to be in one corner while the law enforcement and firefighters occupied the other.
"Ma'am you can't be here." One of the firefighters came up to her and was getting ready to pull her away when Hale stopped him.
"She's the owner." The firefighter nodded his head in recognition before walking away from her. Alex surveyed the scene with blurry eyes. She could hear voices around her but she couldn't be bothered to pay attention. Alex felt like this was all just a horrible nightmare.
Ever since she stepped foot back in Charming, it was one crisis after another. Living in the small town for a number of years had taught her that Charming always held a fair share of drama but this was the first time that the drama seemed to continue to be directed at her.
"This had to be Clay." Alex heard Jax say but she didn't turn around. She didn't know if she believed that Clay would burn down her business but Jax's voice held an air of self-assurance. Clay had always been good to Alex, never once treating her anything less than gold. Would his hatred for SAMCRO being in the pussy business really be cause enough for him to burn the place the down without any regard to how it would affect her?
Alex's breath started to become shallow and her head was spinning. She leaned forward as the bile rose up her throat and she promptly threw up. She started to cough uncontrollably and she felt someone grab her hair and start to rub her back.
"It's alright princess." Alex heard Tig's distinct voice behind her. Once she was done, she kept her head down and tried to take deep breathes but it was no use. "Alex, baby, try to stay calm." Alex nodded her head as she finally stood up.
"Alex?" Alex turned to see Hale staring down at her. "You are going to have come down to the station, answer some questions."
"Can't it wait?" Tig asked as he gestured to the obvious bad mental state that Alex was in.
"No it can't. Alex, I can give you a ride to the station." Hale went to grab Alex's arm and she flinched back as if she had been burned. She didn't say anything, just placed a hand on Tig's cheek before walking towards the marked Jeep.
It seemed like forever by the time Alex was free to leave the station. Hale had questioned her about who could possibly want to burn down Caracara. Alex was pretty much zoned out the entire time. She answered the questions with a dull tone as she stared at the hideous yellow wall in front of her.
Alex walked down the station steps and noticed Happy and Tig leaning against their bikes, smoking and obviously waiting for her. Alex made her way over to the two men and accepted a hug from a Tig and a nod from Happy.
"Do you really think Clay could be behind this?" Alex asked.
"I talked to Clay. He looked me in the eye and said he had nothing to do with the fire at Caracara."
"Do you believe him?"
"Of course I do."
"Jax doesn't." Tig sighed.
"Jax and Clay haven't been seeing eye to eye about much of shit lately. He's looking for someone to blame so he can stop feeling guilty about what happened to you and Luanne."
"Are you alright?" Happy asked her and Alex turned to look at him. She thought about smiling and lying but she knew both of the men would see right through her bullshit.
"No I'm not." Happy motioned towards his bike.
"I'm here to take you home." Alex shook her head.
"I don't want to go back to the clubhouse, not right now." Alex didn't want to believe that Clay had been responsible but she honestly didn't want to see him just in case she was wrong. Just the idea that any Son could do to this to her, do this to Luanne and Otto made Alex's stomach flip. "Can you take me to the cemetery please?"
Happy watched with hawk like eyes as Alex walked over towards Luanne's tombstone and sat down in front of it. He didn't even want to think about the mind frame the woman was in right now. He leaned against his bike as he watched her run her fingers over Luanne's name before placing one hand in her lap and the other ran over her hair.
Alex's shoulders were hunched over and Happy could see Alex talking to the tombstone and one of her hands came up to run over of her face. Happy's phone rang and he answered it while still keeping an eye on Alex.
"Yeah?"
"Hap, it's Jax."
"What's up man?"
"Are you busy?" Happy took in his surroundings.
"I took Alex to the cemetery to see Luanne." He heard Jax suck in his breathe.
"Shit. She alright?"
"No." Happy answered honestly.
"I need a favor. I need you to get in touch with Quinn for me."
"For?" Happy asked.
"I'm going NOMAD."
The following afternoon, Alex had finally woken up after taking two sleeping pills to calm her nerves. She walked in the clubhouse and refused to speak to anyone. Instead she went in her room, locked the door and turned off all the lights.
She threw on a sweat suit and pulled her long wet hair back in a messy ponytail, not really giving a shit how she looked right about now. She went downstairs to grab a bottle of soda before heading towards the office. She walked in to see Gemma smoking a joint and staring off into space. Gemma glanced over as Alex took a seat.
"Jax wants to go NOMAD." Gemma announced as she passed the joint Alex's way.
"Does he have a death wish?" Alex knows that NOMAD was mainly where the toughest and most unstable members of SOA were. Most of them didn't have a lot of families and didn't care if or when they died.
"It's this shit with Clay. I gotta snap both of them out of this bullshit." Alex took a pull from the joint before placing it in the ashtray.
"I need the insurance papers for the studio. I have to call them about the fire."
"You okay baby?" Alex snorted.
"I will be. I'm going to go and talk to Otto on Monday."
"About what?"
"About how he wants me to proceed. What he wants me to do. I don't think I was the right person to do the job Gemma. Maybe I should just go back to Vegas."
"You can't go back to Vegas."
"Gemma look around. Ever since I came in this town, it's been one thing after another. The fire is just the last straw. I don't belong here."
"You don't belong in Vegas Alex. You were miserable there, you said so yourself." Alex groaned as she leaned her head back.
"I don't know what the fuck I'm doing Gemma. I rebuild the studio and then what? What else is going to happen around here? I'm fucking exhausted."
"Baby we will survive this, we always do."
"Why does everything have to be a survival? Life shouldn't have to be this fucking hard." Alex was exhausted both mentally and physically and she was quickly reaching the end of her rope.
"Life isn't easy baby; you know that better than anyone." Alex snorted as she looked over to see Clay and Jax in an intense argument. Alex stood up as she looked down at Gemma.
"You have the power to keep Jax here and if that's what you want, then you know what you have to do."
"Come in." Alex said the following morning from her spot on the bed where she was catching up on her shows. She looked over when Tara opened the door and shut it behind her. Tara leaned against the doorframe and sighed.
"Gemma told Clay and Jax about the rape last night." Alex threw the remote on the bed and leaned back.
"I figured she would."
"What does that mean?"
"It means that telling the boys about her rape was the exact thing to keep Jax from going NOMAD and it would bring the guys closer. Common enemy and all that shit."
"She had to do for her too." Alex rolled her eyes.
"If it wasn't for this shit going on with Clay and Jax, Gemma would have taken the rape to her damn grave."
"Jax says they are going to take the rape to the table."
"Let the blood bath begin." Tara moved so she was sitting on the edge of the bed. The two women sat in silence before Tara turned to look at Alex.
"Gemma thinks she's damaged pussy, that Clay won't want her anymore because someone violated what belongs to him." Tara locked eyes with Alex. "Is that how you feel?"
"I've been damaged pussy long before the rape."
"You honestly believe that?"
"You going to tell me that's not true? You are one of the first ones to take glee in pointing out my occupation. You have the same opinion about me as everyone else; one rape is going to start making me an angel in people's eyes."
"Don't you want someone in your life to love? A family? I can't imagine you getting any of that without dealing with what happened to you."
"I gave up on the idea of love and family a long time ago. Not all of us are meant to get our happily ever afters."
"Every deserve happiness Alex. Even porn stars." Both women turned when the door swung open and Tig stood there, his face was covered in blood and bruises. Alex hopped off the bed.
"My God, what the hell happened to you?" Tig looked lost as she stared at him.
"Gemma…you…Luanne…Donna...it's just so fucked up. I had to tell him, I had to give him some peace."
"Tell who what?" Alex asked as she walked Tig over to the chair and Tara announced that she was going to leave to grab the first aid kit. Tig grabbed Alex's hands and looked on in the eye.
"Opie. I had to tell him, Alex. He had to know that I was the one that killed Donna." Alex gasped at the revelation and she watched as Tig broke in front of her eyes. She held him and shook her head at Tara who was getting ready to come back in. Tara pointed that she would be waiting in the main room and shut the door.
"Tell me what happened Tig." Alex listened as Tig told her everything from Stahl manipulating the club to him spraying bullets in the back of Donna's head.
Later that night, Happy walked towards his dorm room, his mind still reeling from the announcement from church. Gemma was one of the toughest women he had ever met, the club's mother and to think that something like this could happen to her made Happy's stomach turn. After church he had driven down to Bakersfield to check on his own mother. There was something about learning certain truths that make others have to come to terms with their own demons.
He had heard about Tig confessing to Opie about killing Donna. Happy had always suspected that there was something odd about Donna's death and the Niners so called hand in it and now he knew why. He didn't look at Tig any differently, Happy knew it wasn't all his fault but he knew that this death was not like the others and Tig would spend the rest of his life regretting his actions.
Happy pulled his keys out and noticed that Alex's room was cracked open. He pushed it slowly and saw Alex sitting on the floor, smoking a joint while soft music spilled the room. Her eyes looked dull and lifeless as she stared at the wall in front of her. She had on a simple red tank top and a pair of boy shorts, her long hair was flowing down her back in crazy waves.
Happy knocked on the wall twice and Alex looked his way. "Hey Hap." Happy shut the door and took a seat next to Alex as he sparked up his own joint.
"Rough day?"
"Rough life." Alex answered as she looked over towards the IHome as Adele's song Set Fire Through the Rain started to play. "How are you?"
"Good." Happy answered. He looked over at Alex. "You know about Gemma?" Alex nodded her head but Happy saw something else in her eyes. "Did you know about before today?" Alex paused for a second before nodding again.
"Tara blurted it out by accident. She thought maybe it would help me with my own shit."
"Has it?"
"Gemma and Clay have been together for years and she was still afraid of his reaction, afraid of how he might look at her after knowing the truth. Clay looks at her with fucking stars in his eyes and she still wondered if he would love her." Alex reached in the bottom drawer of the nightstand and took out a bottle of Jack. She took a large sip before handing the bottle to Happy and he did the same.
"The only one around here that thinks of you like a whore is you." Alex cut her eyes towards Happy but didn't fully look at him. Everything was finally starting to make sense to Happy. He now understood Alex's change in behavior and why she seemed to be shrinking into her own body. Happy sighed. He was attracted to Alex; something about her was pulling him closer. He wasn't good with words, didn't use them unless necessary so he knew he would have to try a different tactic.
Alex looked up when Happy stood and walked over towards the door making sure to lock it. "What are you doing?"
"Stand up." Happy ordered.
"What?" Alex asked, more than a little confused given her current state of being filled with weed and booze.
"Stand. Up." Happy said again. Alex placed the bottle down and got to her feet. She held her breath as Happy walked closer to her, shedding his cut and throwing it in the chair.
"What are you doing?" She asked again. Happy's eyes darkened as he looked down at her.
"I want you to feel what I see when I look at you." Alex gulped as Happy's hand found its way to her neck and he pulled her in for a kiss.