There are moments when I don't know where I am anymore, what time I'm in or whether what's happening is actually real. All the things I've seen, the secrets I have to keep, are eating up my insides. I'm beginning to feel myself becoming an empty shell, just going through the motions day by day, more for his benefit than mine. However, now is the time to fight. The time to live. Even if the past and present merge, even if it all becomes the same.

Now I'm on my own again, lost until he finds me, facing an enemy that I know needs information from me. I will do everything I can to protect it. To protect him. He is who I live for now.

She hasn't been herself for weeks. There have been so many times that I have seen her eyes glaze over in pain and fear. She would never admit it, of course she wouldn't, she's too brave and stubborn to admit there is something wrong. I can see that my impossible girl is slowly slipping away from me. She stands in front of me, but she isn't really there, there in body but not in spirit. I fear that this would damage her beyond repair. There are moments where I still she my Clara, there's still hope, I can still save her.

Ah, the old 'if you don't tell us anything you will die' and 'we will find out what you know whatever the cost. Empty threats for someone who has died thousands of times, each of them as painful as the other. I should be afraid of death, but how can I be when I have shaken hands with death himself so many times that he could be considered an old friend. There is nothing they could do that could possibly scare me anymore.

What to do? How can I get us out of this mess? I test the ropes for what seems like the hundredth time. Still just as tight. I shift slightly to try to get a good look around the room, but I suddenly feel something behind me, whatever it is, it's sharp. I shift once more so I can obtain the one thing in this poor excuse of a cell that could get me out of these restraints. Finally, I have it in my hands. It's a knife!

Oh Clara you are wonderful. She struggled against the Crixonians to create a distraction. That girl is honestly a genius. Whilst she was 'struggling against them, she must have managed to work the weapon loose and throw it to the floor. She will never fail to impress me. So this was her plan.

He must have worked out my plan by now. The Doctor can't stay still for more than 30 seconds anyway. Give him about 20 minutes and he'll get here, wherever here is, there are too many corridors to keep track of. All of them the same dull grey, nothing that could determine the different ones. However, I have noticed as I have been pushed and dragged through these corridors, that these monsters keep talking of their 'Emporer' or 'the all powerful'. Really though? If they are so powerful, how come the Doctor seems to have never heard of them before. Perhaps they are trying to make themselves well known, I don't know, maybe trying to get a reputation by destroying the last Timelord, my Doctor?Which is impossible because I will never let that happen, even if it kills me... again.

There will be other versions of me in the Doctor's future, so even if I do die he will never truly be alone. All my incarnations loved and will love him just as much I do because I am absolutely devoted to him, like he is to me. Of course, I know that at Caliburn house the Doctor was describing our story as being not a ghost story, but a love story. This I didn't know at the time, but after finding that he had met me twice before, I know that this was our story.

After some work I managed to cut through the ropes and after digging through my pockets, I found that I still had my sonic screwdriver. The Crixonians seem to be rather sloppy when I comes to keeping captives, even those Russian soldiers completely emptied my pockets, which took some time I might add. I can come to the conclusion that they are either really confident in their abilities or just plain stupid, possibly both.

Now I have my sonic screwdriver, I can save Clara, I am not going to leave her to their mercy for much longer, goodness knows what they will do to her, no doubt they will think of cruel ways to get information from her. There is no way I am letting her come to any harm. My wonderful, impossible Clara has sacrificed so much for me and I am making a promise to her that she will never have to sacrifice anything for me again. I march towards the door, unlock it quickly and swing it open with as much force as possible, furious that they have separated me from the woman I love.

They have brought me in front of two huge, or ornate doors, that I presume are the entrance to the room which holds their leader. Well Clara, time to show them what you're made of, because they aren't going to get any information off you. I set my shoulders back and set my jaw, trying not to betray how terrified I really am of what their intentions may be, but I'm not scared for myself, I am scared for the Doctor.

The doors slowly creak open, much like something out of scooby-doo, it is all rather cliché. Suddenly, I am roughly pushed from behind and I stumble into a large, dimly lit room. Strange patterns cover the ceiling and walls which are all painted an ominous blood-red. However, I'm alone in this room, no one is here other than me, but I doubt that that will last long. I am lost until he finds me again. Eventually I am going to have to face an enemy that will probably stop at nothing to get the information they want. I will do everything I can to protect it. To protect him. He is who I live for now.

Note: Hey guys, so this chapter is quite emotional, I wanted to explore Clara's feelings more about the events in the time stream and sort of wanted to get across that she isn't herself anymore and is on the verge of giving up. This is all in aid for some fluffy whoufflé goodness in upcoming chapters, but it is also because I have been watching so many whoufflé videos and rewatching series 7 part 2 and have been torturing myself with the feels. (I hate this hiatus by the way, it's killing me)

Also, it looks like the next update will not be for a while because I am going on holiday today, but hey I might be able to get some inspiration for a new fic or this one, maybe Clara will have some more flashbacks (hint, hint).

Keep reviewing, I want to know what you think and suggestions are always welcome.

-windowacrosstime