Alright, so I have something to say. I've wanted to say this for a while now- and here it is. I've always kept the purpose of the story in mind- while writing- and I thought you'd like to know why I decided to write this fic. After browsing the archive for a couple of weeks, I noticed something- the stories were all either Auslly- where Ally is Austin's damsel in distress- or stories where Austin is an asshole and hurts Ally, then tries to win her back. I mean no offense to the authors of these stories- not in the slightest- but for me, it was getting old. I personally like change- so I thought that a story where Ally is the bitch would be unique- since there aren't many like that. -that's how this came to be. I'm very proud of how it's come out- and I think you all for the support. I'll shut up now- trigger warning- self-harm, depression, suicidal thoughts, and a hint of anorexia. Enjoy.
"Shh," I whisper. "Put your head back in my shoulder- the light isn't good for a headache."
"Ow…" Austin whimpers loudly, his head flopping back into my shoulder. I sigh, kissing his burning forehead.
"You gotta calm down, you idiot," I murmur fondly. "I love you, but you need to let yourself get better."
"Y-You love m-me?" His voice holds surprised shock, and I sigh. The poor thing is so broken…does he really think that no one loves him?
"Yeah, of course I do. You're my little Austin," I whisper. "My little brother. Now, I need you to stop being stubborn, and get some rest, okay? I'm right here."
"Thanks, Rik…love you too…" he slurs, as his eyes drift shut. I wait until I hear his breathing deepen, before turning to Ally and Dez.
"What is it?" I mutter. Ally looks like she has something to say- she may as well get it over with.
"You haven't known him for a week," she replies. "And you already act like he's one of your own. Not possible to love someone so quickly."
I can see Dez start to say something, but she shakes her head, glancing back at me.
"Yeah, I do love him," I say, keeping my voice low, but my tone holds anger. "I love him because he's so broken, and he needs to know that he is loved. No one has told him that in god knows how long. He reminds me so much of myself, and me and my siblings love him more than anyone else will."
"And you think we're not doing a good enough job?" Dez cuts in.
"Why don't you look back on the past few weeks, and answer that question yourself," I shoot back. "We wouldn't even be in the picture, if it wasn't for your dickheadedness." I shift position a bit, and Austin whimpers, as he's jerked from sleep. I sigh, kissing his head gently. "Go back to sleep. I haven't left you, I'm just changing position."
"Mmph," Austin mumbles, pressing impossibly closer.
"How come he doesn't freak out when he's with you?" Ally says- under her breath- but I catch it anyway, my anger festering.
"He trusts me, and he knows that I'm not going to hurt him. He knows my darkest secret- and if I trust him with it- I must be okay. I wouldn't dare harm him in any way."
My phone beeps, and I remove an arm from Austin's body- ever so gently- to grab it. I navigate through the screens with one hand, before scanning the message.
From: Rocky
If they're still there, get Ally and Dez out. Something happened with Ratliff…we need to have a family meeting when we get home. It's important- he's not okay. We're on our way back- they need to be out by the time we get home. I don't care what you have to do.
My eyes widen. "Guys- I'm sorry, but you both need to leave. Something has just happened- it's best if you leave us alone for some time. It's family matter."
"Then Austin should come with us," Ally says.
I shake my head. "Austin is part of this family- he is not going anywhere."
"He's not your brother," Ally mutters. "He's your friend- and last time I checked, he's only known you guys for like, four days."
"And that's enough," I growl. "He is just as much a part of this family as I am, and you need to leave. Accept the fucking fact that you were wrong, and because of it, you broke your best friend."
"Whatever," Dez grumbles. "Come on, Ally. Let's go."
"Rydel, go with them. See them out," I instruct. "I'll tell you what happened when they're gone."
"Hey, Ratliff. I'm so pro-"
I cut myself off, staring at him. My younger brother's demeanor is fear. He's pale, and shaking, avoiding my gaze as he gets into the car.
"Ratliff," I say. "Roll up your sleeves."
His hand snaps around, eyes widening and locking with mine. "W-What?"
"I wasn't born yesterday- roll them up. You've got that 'post-cut' look, and you're exuding fear. I'm not mad, Ratliff. I just want to see."
"Promise you won't yell at me?" Ratliff whispers. His voice is weak and scared, and I sigh.
"Promise." Ratliff nods slightly, and pulls his sleeves up.
My eyes widen. His entire arms are slashed and bleeding, dots of blood that haven't been cleaned still welling up. "Holy fuck, Ratliff…"
"I'm sorry," he whispers hollowly. "I'm sorry."
"No, no…don't be. I'll get you home, and then we'll have a family meeting. I just have one question…why'd you do this to yourself? Why, Ratliff?"
"I didn't take my meds this morning."
Austin coughs into my chest, using my body as a prop to hold himself up. He winces. His fever is better- 102.6, but I still don't like how high it is. It should be lower- he's still lethargic and in a foggy delirium.
I can hear footsteps, and moments later, Rocky and Ratliff join us downstairs. Rydel's sitting next to me, running her fingers comfortingly through Austin's shaggy hair.
Ratliff immediately walks over to us- specifically to Austin, and hugs him gently. He's crying- I can see tear-tracks on his face, as he sobs into the ill boy's shirt. Austin uses his shaky hands to rub Ratliff's back, whispering in his ear.
When they pull away, Ratliff gives me a watery smile, sinking onto the floor. "I'll just come right out and say it- I relapsed."
"He didn't take his meds this morning," Rocky mutters.
"Ratliff…" Rydel whispers, scooting down next to him. "Why would you do something like that, you idiot?" She pulls him onto her lap and kisses his head.
"I wanted to hurt myself," Ratliff mutters emotionlessly. "Wanted pain."
Rocky sighs. "Why? Pain just fucking hurts. That agony is horrid, and I don't ever wanna watch you go through it."
"Too bad. I want to fucking die."
"Is he asleep?"
I nod, in answer to Riker's question, as I descend back down into the basement. Ratliff and Rydel are both sleeping- Ratliff cried himself to sleep, and Rydel wanted to watch over him and make sure nightmares won't strike- because they tend to hurt him a lot.
"How's Austin?"
Riker sighs. "He threw up again. But his fever's only 102.2 now, so it's going down. His migraine hurts- I can tell by the way he won't show his face to the light at all- he's practically buried in my shoulder."
"Poor guy…s'he asleep?"
Riker shakes his head. "Close, though. He keeps drifting off, then startling awake. He's starting to get pissed that he can't fall asleep, though." He glances down at the limp blond in his arms, and sighs in relief. "Okay, I think he's asleep. I was planning to sleep down here with him- don't wanna leave him alone."
"I'll join you," I reply. "Come here?"
Riker nods slightly. He manages to slip out from under Austin, easing him down to the pillows, and stretches, taking a step toward me. "I'm kinda disgusting…" he motions to his damp shirt- probably from Austin's tears/sweat. "I'll grab a different shirt before we sleep."
"Nah, sleep shirtless. It's hot out, anyway," I reply. "Just come here." I open my arms, and he sighs, stepping forward- into my embrace. I hug him gently, running a hand through his hair. "Thank you, Riker. You've done an amazing job."
"Glad I could do something right," he mutters into my shoulder.
"Hush," I chide gently. "You're amazing, and you fucking know it. But- did you wanna talk about anything? It's barely 8:30…"
Riker nods slightly. "If you don't mind…"
"I don't," I reply. "Here, let's grab some comforters from upstairs, and you can get yourself a new shirt- if you want."
Ten minutes later, we're lying on the floor in front of the couch- Riker pressed to my chest. "What's bothering you, Rik?"
He lets out a heavy sigh. "Everything's falling apart, Rocky…Austin is a mess, Ratliff relapsed, I'm barely hanging on, and I think Rydel might not be eating again…she seems to love cooking for us, but I've never seen her take food for herself…it's all screwed up, and I love you guys so much, and I can't lose any of you." He takes a deep breath, and exhales loudly. "I told Austin I loved him today- that I considered him a little brother- but he didn't seen to believe me, and his dickhead friends ruined the entire thing by pointing out that it apparently isn't possible to love someone so soon."
"God…" I sigh. "When did everything crash and fucking burn? And I'm gonna have a talk with Ally. Need to get her fucking head on straight. She can't look all sorry- yet hurt Austin indirectly. The poor kid deserves a fucking break. And…I've held you guys together before. I've been able to catch you when you all fell. If I did it once, I can do it again."
Thoughts? Next chapter's gonna be full of drama- so review your hearts out, and I'll post it possibly tonight, most likely early tomorrow.
-Neha