Author's Note: Okay, audience participation time. As I said I'm starting to get to get to the end of this story. I really wanted this story to read as true to the book as possible. My goals going in to this were to cover Pony's nightmares, Soda dropping out, and the growing tensions between Darry and Pony all while dealing with the general devastation of losing their parents. What I want to know is if there is something else that you would really like to see covered in this story before it ends? Please review and let me know! And even if you can't think of anything, please review anyway just to let me know that you like it!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders.
Chapter Fourteen: It's Not Fair
"Hey Pony."
Pony groaned and rolled over, trying to get away from the noise. As he tried to burrow deeper into his covers he bumped into a warm body next to him and snuggled closer to it.
"Come on Pony, you gotta get up," came Darry's soft voice. He felt Darry shaking him lightly. "Let's go. Try not to wake Soda, he's sick remember?"
Pony was slowly becoming aware. It was morning and time for school. He yawned and slowly rolled back over, not wanting to be the one to wake Soda when he was sick. He blinked sleepily as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. He glanced back to see that Soda was still sound asleep. He was a bit envious that he got to sleep in today.
He finally dragged himself out of bed. He grabbed some clean clothes and stumbled to the bathroom. He felt a lot more awake after he took a long hot shower. He pulled on his clean clothes before heading for the kitchen. He stretched as he entered the kitchen, and his stomach growled as he smelled the bacon and eggs.
"Morning kiddo," Darry said.
"Morning Darry," Pony said as he sat at the kitchen table in front of his plate of hard-boiled eggs and bacon. Breakfast was unusually quiet without Soda. Pony felt troubled as he remembered what Soda had told him the night before. "Darry?" Pony finally said slowly.
"Yeah?" Darry said, looking over his newspaper at his little brother.
"Last night, Soda told me that he was gonna drop out of school," he said unsurely. Even though Soda had told him that he had already talked to Darry about it, Pony still expected a shocked reaction. Surely Darry couldn't have been okay with Soda being a high school dropout.
Darry sighed. "Yeah, he's gonna work full time at the DX," he confirmed.
"You really think that's a good idea?" Pony asked. "Shouldn't he at least finish high school?"
"It was his decision," Darry said. "That's what he wants to do."
"You can stop him though," Pony pointed out stubbornly. "You're in charge, right? You can tell him that he can't drop out of school."
"Pony, Soda is sixteen," Darry said tiredly. "He's old enough to make his own decisions about school."
Pony sighed. "Mom and dad wouldn't have let him drop out," he muttered moodily, his eyes falling down to study his breakfast.
Darry glared at Pony. "Yeah, well mom and dad ain't here," he said harshly.
Pony's eyes got big as he looked back up at Darry. "I know," he said quietly.
"What do you want me to do, Ponyboy?" Darry demanded angrily. "Force Soda to go to school everyday? In case you haven't noticed money is a little tight around here. Soda is doing this to help us stay together. If I can't feed you two on my pay alone there is no way that the state will let me remain legal guardian. I have to at least be able to keep you both alive and if you starve to death…" He let the thought hang as he picked up his empty plate and angrily pushed himself away from the table.
Pony was taken aback. Darry had never talked to him like that before. He just stared for several minutes at a loss for words.
"Well, maybe I could get a job," Pony finally said quietly. "Soda had a job at the stables at my age."
Darry sighed heavily. "No Pony, you need to focus on your schoolwork," he said a little more calmly.
"Why do I have to focus on schoolwork, but Soda doesn't?" Pony asked.
Darry just looked at him for a moment, his face unreadable as he thought over his answer. "You're going to graduate, Pony," he finally said. "Soda might not even pass this year."
"He could," Pony insisted. "We could help him and he could graduate."
"Look, I really don't want to have this conversation right now," Darry said, rubbing his temples and closing his eyes briefly. "Why don't you gather up your books. Steve should be here in a few minutes to pick you up."
Pony sighed in defeat. Obviously he had no say. He was only trying to help. He dragged himself to his feet and trudged down the hall to his room. As he quietly gathered up his books he looked at Soda's sleeping form. He looked so young in his sleep. He couldn't get over the fact that Soda was going to drop out of school. It just didn't seem to fit him. Soda wasn't just some no good hood. Even though he knew that Soda had a very good reason for dropping out, he also knew that no one outside of their group would see it that way. They would look at him the same way they looked at Tim Shepherd or Dallas Winston who were both drop outs. It just wasn't fair.
Just then he heard a honking from outside. He hurried out before Steve could honk again and wake Soda up. He didn't even bother saying goodbye to Darry who was still in the kitchen. He really didn't want to even look at Darry right now. He couldn't believe that he was so okay with Soda dropping out of school. He knew if he suggested dropping out of school Darry would have a cow.
"Soda comin'?" Steve asked as Pony slid in the backseat next to Johnny.
"No, he's not feeling real good," Pony said. "Darry's lettin' him stay home today."
"Yeah, he wasn't looking so good yesterday," Steve said as he took off. "Fell asleep three times while workin' under a car."
Pony pulled out his pack of cigarettes and tapped it on his thigh impatiently, much like he had seen Two-Bit do on several occasions. He usually had a weed before he left for school in the morning but with the argument with Darry and not having to wait for Soda who was usually running late he had run out of time. Luckily the middle school wasn't far away and he would have plenty of time before class started.
"Hey kid, you need me to pick you up again?" Two-Bit asked as they approached the middle school.
Pony raised his eyebrows, an idea dawning on him. "No, not today," he said.
"Okay," Two-Bit said with a shrug.
Pony noticed Johnny giving him a strange look, but luckily he didn't say anything. Pony was sick of feeling like a little kid. If he could walk home from school with Two-Bit he could walk home by himself.
He hid around the back of the school in order to have his morning smoke. By the time he walked into the class he was almost late.
School passed agonizingly slowly that day. Pony felt very distracted and had a hard time concentrating on what the teachers were talking about. If this kept up he knew that his grades were going to start falling. Darry wouldn't be happy about that at all.
Finally the day ended. Pony took his time packing up and felt a sense of freedom as he walked outside with the rest of his classmates. He would show Darry that he didn't need a babysitter.
"Hey Pony!"
Pony gave a start, not expecting anyone to be coming for him. He looked around and was surprised to see Soda walking over to him, grinning.
"Hey Soda," Pony said, trying to hide his surprise. "I thought you were home sick today."
"I needed to get out," Soda said with a shrug. His voice still sounded a little scratchy but he looked a lot better than he did the night before. "I was getting jumpy. I thought Two-Bit would be here by now. Guess he forgot."
"Uh, yeah he must have," Pony said, sounding guilty. "You feeling better then?" He was trying to change the subject quickly.
"Yeah, a lot better," Soda said as they started walking toward home. "I think a lot of it was just exhaustion. The past few weeks have been… very long."
Pony nodded as he pulled his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. "Yeah, that's putting it lightly," he murmured.
They walked for a few minutes in silence as Pony lit up.
"Darry said you were kinda upset this morning," Soda finally said.
Pony looked down at his feet, feeling embarrassed. He knew that he should never have brought up mom and dad like he did, though he still felt that his point still stood.
"Yeah, Darry got kinda upset too," Pony pointed out stubbornly as he kicked at some pebbles on the sidewalk. He took a long drag on his cigarette.
"You know I wasn't gonna pass this year anyway, Pony," Soda said. "I can do a lot more good if I just work at the DX full time." He paused and cleared his throat. "Look, if I'm getting sick after just two weeks of trying to make this work, then it's not going to work out in the long run. You don't want me always gettin' sick cause I'm so run down, do you?"
"No, of course not," Pony said. He sighed. "I know that it's all so that we can stay together. I just… hate the thought of it. When I think of a drop out, I think of somebody like Tim Shepherd. You're nothin' like him."
Soda laughed lightly. "Well I'm glad you think that," he said. "I know you don't like the sound of it Pony. But we gotta do everything we can to stay together. And this is gonna help us stay together."
"I know," Pony said. "It's just… not fair."
"I know it's not," Soda said seriously, shoving his hands in his pockets. "But even if mom and dad were still here… I still don't think I would have finished, Pony. I mean I would have tried. I probably would have kept going for another year or two. But I don't think I would have ever graduated. I'm too dumb."
"You're not dumb," Pony said automatically.
Just then a slow passing car honked loudly, causing Pony to jump. "Get a haircut, Greasers!" someone yelled from the red Mustang. Socs. Soda casually flipped the car the bird as it sped away. Suddenly Pony was really glad that Soda had come for him. Groups of Socs were known for jumping Greasers when they were by themselves. Pony was also on the small side, making him an easy target for the Socs.
There were several minutes of silence before Pony spoke again. "I know mom would have wanted you to keep going…" his voice was flat. This was the most they had talked about their parents since the accident. He knew the tears were not far away, but he also knew that he had to get this out.
Soda nodded. "Yeah, she would have," he said quietly with a sad smile. "But the circumstances have changed." Pony sniffed, fighting hard against the tears that were threatening to come. Soda threw his arm over his brother's shoulders. "This is the right thing to do, Pony," he assured him.
Pony nodded. "Yeah," he admitted.
"And listen, don't give Darry a hard time about it, okay?" he said. "He's not thrilled by the idea, but he knows it's something we have to do. He's going to get enough grief from the school when he calls them up and tells them that he's pulling me out."
Pony nodded. He guessed he could understand that. "Yeah, sure," he agreed. "I didn't mean to make him so angry."
"He's just stressed," Soda said with a shrug.
"I guess," Pony said, finishing up his cigarette and tossing it on the pavement.
They turned onto their street and Pony couldn't help but look for their parents' car in the driveway. He didn't know how he was ever going to get used to them being gone for good. Everything was so different now. It had only been two weeks but it was already like him and his brothers had a completely different life. What he wouldn't give to be able to just go back to the way things were.
It's just not fair…