We're back to the drug squad again! Seems like the muse can't leave them alone...
Disclaimer: If I owned it, then this would have been in the show, not on fanfiction!
Lestrade called to his team, "Keep looking, guys." Then he turned to Sherlock, "Or you could help us properly and I'll stand them down."
Sherlock began pacing, "This is childish." He huffed irritably.
Lestrade shook his head, "Well, I'm dealing with a ch-"
"What are you doing?" Doctor Watson's stern voice cut off Lestrade's rant, "Put it back."
Lestrade turned and saw Constable Jones holding a stethoscope and pouting at the doctor. "Can I play with it for just five minutes? I always wanted to have one of these when I was a kid." Jones pleaded.
"That's not a toy Jones; I need that for my work." John said in a placating tone. He extended his hand and caught the stethoscope, "Now give it to me please, so I can put it back to its proper place."
Lestrade was looking over this bizarre exchange with fascination when another conversation caught his attention.
"Ooooh, what is this?" Evans was holding an odd looking lab equipment to the light and looking at it through squinted eyes.
"Let me see! Let me see!" Walters was trying to grab the strange object with eagerness. "You had your turn, now let me see."
"I'm not done with it yet!" Evans whined.
"Put that down before you break it!" Sherlock said through gritted teeth.
Evans and Walters looked at him briefly, then they turned back to their squabble and ignored Sherlock. Sherlock began to fret and go towards them in the kitchen.
"What does this do?" Jones asked aloud, indicating a small hammer-like tool he was holding in his hand.
"That's not a toy either, Jones. Now put it back and don't go through my medical bag anymore." Doctor Watson said with forced calmness. Lestrade could see the doctor's hands were twitching, as if they wanted to grab the medical instrument from the young officer.
"Why do you have dead gold-fish in the fridge?" came Sally's disgusted voice.
"Would you stop touching my things?" Sherlock bellowed frustrated.
Anderson took one of the fish by its tail and started wiggling it in front of his own face. Then he turned and wiggled it in Sally's face. She let out a small, frustrated shriek and squirmed away.
Sherlock stumped his foot and huffed in irritation.
"Oh my god, you have lollipops in your bag!" Constable Jones exclaimed loudly.
"What did I tell you about going through my bag?" John reprimanded him.
"But these were in your other bag!" Jones whined.
"Didn't your mother teach you it's rude to go through other people's things?" John continued his admonishment.
"But I'm on the drugs squad!" Jones continued with a pout, "I'm supposed to go through the stuff in this flat."
John let out a long-suffering sigh, "If I give you a lolly, will you leave my stuff alone?"
Lestrade couldn't stop himself anymore, "Don't bribe him, that'll only reinforce the bad habit!" he yelled.
"What do you suggest I do then?" John asked him exasperated.
"I want a lolly too!" Evans whined.
"Yeah, me too!" Walters followed.
John looked around at them. Then he spotted Sally and Anderson eyeing him hopefully. He turned and looked at Lestrade with an air of desperation.
Lestrade pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a frustrated sigh. "Fine, you can all have a lollipop. Take your sweet and wait outside."
All of the squad members perked up and hurried towards the doctor. John caught the look on Sherlock's face, "Don't worry, there's enough for everyone." He reassured.
"Dear lord," Lestrade shook his head, "I'm dealing with a bunch of children!"
Too crazy? What did you think?