I don't own Twilight, but you probably already knew that. If intent on suing me for any form of copyright, know that all you'll receive in the end is an overweight cat named Gizmo. If you're going to review, be kind or constructive. Those that flame will surely go to Hell and be forced to watch rick-roll Youtube videos for eternity. I suppose if that's your thing, flame away. Who am I to judge?

If you haven't noticed my updated profile page, Creepy Looks and Cafeteria Food was nominated for 5 Sunflower Awards. If you were the person that nominated me, please let me know so I can thank you directly. If you wish to support this story, please consider casting your vote. Voting is open from May 4th to May 25th. Winners will be announced June 4th. The link to the site and the categories the story was nominated for are on my profile page. I don't like the whole bribing for reviews/votes thing people do, but I'm feeling a tad hypocritical so I'll just say for each award won, I'll post an outtake.

I'm glad so many of you enjoyed the outtake. Alice may be nuts, but she's a good friend. Y'all seem to like Charlie a lot, too. I imagine he's the kind of father most girls wish they had. In any case, I hope you enjoy this chapter and if you've been reading, but holding back on reviewing, please don't. It would be cool to get over a 100 reviews by my posting next week. Have a great weekend guys! :)

Chapter 14

Alice is a mother-fucking bitch. I don't know how the fuck she found this, but she's gonna pay. Time to go visit Mrs Brandon while Alice is at her art class up in Port Angeles and dig out the Cabbage Patch Kids she still hides in the back of her closet. She wants embarrassing? I'll give her embarrassing. Bitch.

Yes, it was cool she did all that for me for my birthday this year and yes, I get where she's coming from, but Jesus-f'n-Christ she didn't have to go on and on about self-esteem shit. I know myself, I know what my weaknesses are, so back the fuck off. And its MY fucking journal, NOT DIARY BITCH, so I can say whatever the fuck I want in it. If I want to speak to imaginary leprechauns in this, I will. Although if I start hearing someone sing about Frosted Lucky Charms, I may take a break. Just saying.

So I just got home from the date with Edward and I can't keep a goofy smile off my face. I refuse to become one of those simpering little annoying bitches that revolves their entire life around a guy, or girl cause hey, whatever floats your boat, ya know? It's why I'm so frustrated with this situation with him. I like my emotional detachment from the bleating sheep of Forks High. I like not getting sucked into drama and cat-fights and wondering if I need to go shopping for new clothes because I want to look pretty for my boyfriend and shit, you get the idea. But I find myself enjoying the time with him despite my protests and I'm finding it harder to fight this shit. I don't know what the fuck to do and my best friend, who I'd be calling to vent to or ask for advice from, was a fucking bitch who invaded my privacy and played with my cat while I was out. I could ask Charlie, but that would be all kinds of awkward and I know better than to ask Renee. I could call one of my friends from California, but that would be all kinds of awkward. "Hi! You haven't heard from me in fucking I don't know how long, but do you want to listen to my pathetic love life?" I've only kept up with Jasper, and even then, it's primarily in e-mail. Blech.

One of the popular hangouts is Sully's. The food is decent, its cheap and they make awesome milk shakes. Edward drives us over there and although I'm nervous, I'm looking forward to sucking down some chocolate shake. When we park, he gives my hand another soft squeeze and tells me to sit there while he runs around the car and escorts me out. It's sweet and I can't help giving him a bashful smile as we walk inside together to place our order.

We see some of the other kids from school milling about, but we don't do more than nod our heads at some of the more friendly ones. Edward is still getting questioning looks and I'm still getting glares and all I want is to grab our food and sit together, alone, in the car. When we go to place our order, I tell Edward what I'd like, but I'm a bit surprised at Edward's order.

"One large order of fries, one large chocolate shake, and a large Coke to go please."

I squint my eyes and cock my head at his lack of ice cream ordering. Maybe he wants to do the whole share the ice cream together thing. Romantic, but not exactly conducive with eating in a car. Maybe he's gonna make us sit in this uncomfortable fucking place while people gawk at us while we eat. Yeah, gonna squash that one fast.

A few minutes later we're carrying our food outside to a couple of tables setup along the side of the building. It's not the car, but it's not inside so it's all good to me. I take a tentative sip of my shake as I watch Edward pour ketchup on his fries. The boy likes ketchup. A lot. He's covered them in ketchup and I picture the fries crying out for help, for someone to save them from their bloody drowning. I take another sip of my shake before I bite the bullet and ask him why we're on an ice cream date and I'm the only one with ice cream.

"So, Edward."

"So, Bella?" His eyebrow perks up as he drops a bloody fry into his mouth. I am captivated by the death of the fry briefly. Or rather, his mouth chewing and his lips stained redder than usual. I want to lick his lips and then I want to smack myself for my fangirl moment.

I offer him my shake and ask, "Would you like some of my shake?"

He shakes his head and says, "No thanks. I'm good with what I got."

I twist my mouth up in a little frown, take my shake back and take a big ass suck from the straw. I'm a little hurt he won't share with me. It's immature and all, but I wonder if he only asked me here because Charlie told him too. I sulk some more as I continue to suck down this yummy, calorie-loaded chocolatey goodness. I continue in this pattern until I hear a small whimper. My eyes lift up and I see Edward eyeballing me as I suck viciously on the straw. His lips are slightly apart, his fingers gripping the side of the table and his eyes focused entirely on my lips wrapped around the straw. I separate myself from my desert and lean back, Edward's eyes still planted on where my lips just were.

I clear my throat and ask softly, "You sure you don't want some of my shake, Edward?"

His eyes pop up to mine and he stares at me intensely, before he quickly wipes his hands on some napkins and then leans in to kiss me. Its similar to the classroom make out session we had recently. Its all lips and teeth and hands and moans and breathlessness. I plant my fingers in his hair and tug firmly and he practically growls as his lips move from mine to suck on my neck. I whimper as his lips explore and although I want to enjoy this intensity, sitting in a dirty parking lot on a school night while people are walking by isn't the place.

Edward is still kissing my neck and nibbling on my ear and I begin to massage his scalp when I ask, "Edward, why didn't you want some of my shake?"

Yeah, I'm neurotic. Deal.

He pauses in his lips' exploration of me and in a rough voice says, "I'm lactose intolerant, Bella. I don't think me being gassy would make a fun date experience."

My mouth opens in shock and I say, "Oh." as he continues, albeit far less fervently, to kiss my throat. I want to enjoy this, but I'm aware we are starting to draw attention to ourselves, well more so than before, and I don't want anyone but Edward privy to my moans. I tug his hair again to pull his head back from my skin, give him a soft kiss on the lips and then nudge him towards his fries. He grins at me while shaking his head and then digs into the bloody, ketchupy massacre in front of him.

I can't help but giggle as he scarfs them down. He looks like a little boy and for a moment I'm sad that I grew up in California and not up here with Charlie. I might have got to know Edward better and all this confusion wouldn't have been an issue. He wouldn't have been so nervous about asking me out maybe, then again he may have hated my guts. I can't really guess and wallowing in the past won't change it and all that shit. But I have a suspicion I'll be dreaming about Edward as a child tonight.

Edward continues to dig into his fries and my imagination runs away with me. I laugh out loud and it draws his attention back to me. He mouths 'what' at me, his lips covered in ketchup. I just shake my head and continue to laugh. He shrugs and finishes off his fries, licking his fingers clean. I'm still snickering at him as he leans into me and gives me a soft kiss again. He tastes of fries and ketchup and salt. I suck on his lower lip a little and he sucks on my top. We pull away, smiling goofily at each other.

"I'm glad you ordered that shake. I don't get to have chocolate ice cream nearly as much as I'd like to. You tasted so good just now."

Cue the blushing.

"Yeah, well you tasted all salty and ketchupy and dear God you looked like a vampire. Those poor fries. They never stood a chance."

He blushes. Aren't we adorable? He shrugs and plays with my fingers as I take a small sip of my shake.

"Bella?"

I dart my eyes up at him as I continue to drink my shake.

"Bella, if you continue to molest that straw like that, I will not be held accountable for my actions."

I quirk my eyebrow up at him and begin to be overly suggestive with my drink. Its the cupcake fiasco all over again and judging by his reaction earlier to my vigorous sucking on the straw, its a massive turn-on for him. I hear a low growl from him and see him dodging forward to grab me, so I jump up from the table and run away, grinning.

I don't think he expected that since he looks at me in shock, but I see him get up and start stalking towards me. So naturally I do the dumb thing and take a giant drink of my shake. The cup is almost empty, so I am making the most of my remaining time with it. Edward is almost too me when I let out a yelp and dart away from him and towards the tree line nearby.

"You shall not get my shake! Mine!"

He grins and chases after me, trying to grab me, but I keep ducking around the trees and taking giant sips of my shake. He finally grabs me as I run the wrong way and bear hugs me around my waist and lifts me up. I shout and refuse to drop my shake and wiggle in his arms wildly. He pins me to the side of a large tree and before he can stop me I suck down the last of the shake in a mighty slurp. He stares at me hungrily and I know he's about to kiss me, but all of a sudden I scream out in pain. Fucking brain freeze. Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot.

Edward is shocked and scared at my reaction. His hands are roaming across my face and body looking for damage, while I whimper. He's begging me to tell him whats wrong and I can't for a moment. When I finally whimper out brain freeze, he looks at me like I'm fucking nuts. I want to tell him "No shit, Sherlock" but the sharp dagger pains behind the eyes hurt too much to be sarcastic. He rolls his eyes at me and then massages my neck gently as he cuddles me against his body. I rest my head against his chest and close my eyes as he rocks us back and forth. Its soothing and the pain is receding. I wrap my arms around his chest and enjoy the closeness.

He nuzzles against my head and whispers, "You okay, baby?"

I freeze at his question. Not because I'm in pain, but that he's using an endearment towards me. Especially that one. It's a weakness for me ever since I first started reading fanfics. I can't help but want to hear someone refer to me so affectionately. It's exciting and scary to hear it for the first time and so I tighten my arms around him and nod my head into his chest.

"You sure? I probably have some ibuprofen in the glove compartment if you want."

I look up and smile at him. "Yeah, I'm okay. Brain freeze just sucks, you know?"

He grins at me and nods. "Yeah, I know."

We stand there for a few minutes more holding each other and then we separate. I miss the warmth of his body as I become more aware of the colder weather setting in. I shiver slightly and he wraps his arm around my shoulder holding me close as we walk back to our table. Most of our fellow students have left and I'm indifferent to the remaining ones at the moment. We clean up our mess and toss it in the trash, as Edward walks me to the car. It's nine-thirty and I have to be home in a half-hour.

We drive slowly towards my house. I'm sad this date is ending. It was certainly a strange first date. Short of finding out about his lactose intolerance and his love for ketchup, I don't think we learned much about each other. I'll have to remedy that. I'm enjoying the physical, but if I'm gonna make a real go at this with him, I need to know more.

He parks the car a couple houses down from mine. He escorts me out of the car and then holds me against the side, cuddling similar to what we did earlier. I smile and rest my head against his chest.

"I know it wasn't a typical first date, but I really did have fun tonight, Bella."

I giggle and nod. "Yeah, me too. Thanks for ice cream."

"Anytime, baby."

I smile and nuzzle my head into his chest. I could get used to the endearment. He takes my hand and walks me down the block to my front door. I can tell he's nervous the closer we get to it, but I'm not sure if its because he has to leave me, because Charlie is waiting inside, or because Snowball is glaring at him from the window. I squeeze his hand and drag his shuffling ass up the porch stairs.

I lean up and give him a soft kiss on his mouth. He still tastes salty and delicious. Apparently so do I, because he's about to go diving in for a full make-out when we hear Snowball yowl from the nearby window. Fucking cock-blocking cat. It's now Human 2, Cat 1.

"I really fucking hate your cat."

"You and me both right now." I groan and then walk the rest of the way towards the door.

"When will you get your car back? Do you need a lift tomorrow?"

I smile at his sweetness and nod my head. "Yeah, Rose won't have it fixed until the weekend. She's a bit backed up at the moment. One of her guys quit recently and its hard to find experienced and skilled mechanics around here."

Edward nods his head and says, "Okay, I'll pick you up about ten to eight."

I nod my head and say, "Okay, thanks. Good night Edward and thanks again for the shake. It was so delicious."

His eyes get intense and I smirk at his reaction. He shakes his head and grins at me.

"That was evil. I'll get you back for that tomorrow, baby, don't you doubt it."

"Uh huh, go home and sleep, Edward."

"Oh I will, and I'll enjoy all the naughty dreams I'll have about you tonight."

My eyes bug out and I fish-mouth. Did he seriously just say that? I can't stop gaping until I see him smirking back at me. Mother-fucker.

"Oh, you are so gonna fucking pay for that Cullen! Just you wait!"

He just smirks at me and says, "I can't wait." as he walks quickly down the porch stairs and down the block to his car. I stand there for a moment, then shake my head and walk inside. Charlie is sitting in his recliner watching sports highlights. He turns and looks at me and waves me over to join him on the couch. I plop down and watch the show wrap up as Snowball curls up next to me, headbutting me. I don't want to pet the little cock-blocking fucker, but he's too cute and he knows it so I pet his fuzzy ass.

Charlie shuts off the television and looks at me before asking, "So. Good time?"

I nod my head and say, "Yeah. We went to Sully's instead of the diner."

He nods his head. "He treat you right?"

I smile. "I'm not sure what's right and what's wrong, but we had a fun time. We ate and talked a bit and then he drove me home. And don't worry, Dad. No virginity was lost in the partaking of said date."

Charlie rolls his eyes and huffs as he gets out of his recliner. "Good to know, but over-share, Bella. Massive over-share."

I grin at him and say, "Yup."

He mutters about sadistic children while he makes his way upstairs. I'm about to follow behind him when he shouts down the steps, "Oh, by the way, Alice stopped by while you were out. She stayed for a bit and hung out in your room with Snowball. She left about forty minutes ago."

"Okay, thanks. Night Dad."

"Night Bella."

I shut off the remaining lights, lock the front door and head to my room. I am riding a sugar high and an Edward high until I notice my journal is not in the same spot it usually is. I frown and examine it. It looks fine, but I wonder. Charlie respects my privacy, but he is a dad and a cop. He might have gone snooping after the big Edward-reveal earlier. Oh fuck, if he did read this I'm in some seriously deep shit.

I quickly skim the journal and look for any indications of bent pages. Things seem fine until I get to the last written page and notice its not my handwriting. It's in purple ink and the chicken scratch is in Alice's fucking writing. That mother-fucking, bitch! I seethe for a moment until I read her entry. It's sweet and annoying and completely Alice. I sigh and stuff the book under my mattress. I'll find a new hiding spot tomorrow. Now that she knows about this, she'll be looking to spy on my personal shit again.

I curl up under my covers and snuggle Snowball a bit. Tonight was all kinds of fucking awkward, but fun. I smile as I remember his reactions to my own brand of crazy. I wonder what I can do to set him off tomorrow at school, but then I remember he's already plotting to do the same to me and if it's anywhere near as bad as what I'm planing, then it's really going to fucking suck.