A/N: Huge apologies to all my followers and future followers and friends. I have not forgotten you or this story. Huge heatwave in my country this summer, making it impossible to live let alone create. But I'm back and Chapter 15 already in the works. 2 months with no update shall not happen again, I promise you.

Huge thanks to my beloved beta's, Tyren and NixNox.

Without further ado, on with the show!

Chapter 14: Trials In The Night

As she parted ways with Gandalf and Radagast, started descending down the mountain, Linshara's thoughts turned to the Company, to Fili. There also was the increasingly disturbing thought of her not really having a clue where they would have ended up after Mirkwood. Provided they managed to leave Mirkwood to begin with. She'd expected Gandalf to lead her. The one thing she knew for sure was that they were alive. She would have felt their passing.

Drawing her duster closer and buttoning it up, her hood now over her head, Linshara mentally reached out to see if either of their horses was still anywhere close. Walking to wherever the Dwarves were would be a nightmare, even for her. She felt the familiar mind of her pony grazing nearby, less frightened and sent calming ripples at it as she slowly approached. The animal neighed at her softly, turning its head to look at her. It wanted to know if she was friend or foe, it was tired of fear and running.

Opening her arms, palms extended and facing upward, she continued to slowly approach, cooing softly, "it's just me. No sugar cubes, I'm afraid, girl. It's just me..."

The animal grazed her palm with its large lips as if looking for said sugar before it leaned its head against the side of Linshara's. The Jedi caressed the side of her neck gently, in long strokes, using the Force to calm the poor animal down completely. Through her connection she could hear a distant voice calling, familiar, gruff but not unfriendly.

She pulled back a little and glanced at the pony who was now calm. Slowly she moved to the saddle and mounted it. "Where is he? Can you lead me to him?"

Bobbing its head up and down, the pony seemed to reply affirmatively. She took the reins and gave it a little physical and mental nudge. Making a sound in reply, the pony broke into a trot and made towards the Mirkwood, from what she could tell.

As she rode, her mind kept going back to the image she saw last, herself blasting Ruun with a lightning stream. So far her visions mostly came true in one form or another, but her employing such tactics disturbed her. Did it mean she would fall? Did it mean she would have to employ skills from both sides of the divide to defeat him?

Before she could delve too deeply into it, she could hear her horse neigh and her focus returned to the road. Beorn stood at the very treeline of where the Carrock ended and Mirkwood borders began. The horse approached him slowly. As they reached Beorn Linshara dismounted.

"I didn't think you would come this far." She commented as she nodded in greeting of the giant man.

"Your horse did not return with the others, I needed to find it." He replied, his amber eyes scanning their surroundings, "you come from the direction of the Fells. How come?"

Linshara was hesitant for a moment to reveal too much but sensed no deception from his part so she explained the situation at the High Fells to him.

The skin changer nodded gravely, "you must find the dwarves soon. I saw their tracks leading into the wood, they followed the elvish road for a time at least." He pointed towards an elaborate antlered entrance.

Linshara nodded, "alright. If they passed through it already, where would they have gone?"

"Likely to the city of men, to Esgaroth then onwards to the Mountain. You cannot miss it once you exit the forest." Beorn said turning to look down at the small blonde.

"Thank you, Beorn, for all your help." Linshara bowed deeply before him. A gesture which he returned.

"May the wind be favorable and your step light, Starwalker." He said, stepping back into the shadows of the trees slowly, leading her horse away.

Taking a deep breath, focusing her mind and body, she stepped into the plain and headed for the woods. As she neared, she could feel she was being watched, both by curious beings and those of evil intent. The evil minds were discordant, incoherent, the curious minds whispered in what she now easily recognized as elvish. She had to steel herself a little as she finally entered the wood.

It felt as if walking into a dream, a scary place in a dream to be precise. While the old wood was beautiful, Linshara could clearly see the rot, the decay, the darkness creeping over it. As she moved through it, her eyes in the dark moved with her, yet neither the elves, nor what she knew now were spiders approached her. Every now and then though, she saw an apparition of a man with long golden hair and antlers for a crown, dressed in silver and earth tones. He said nothing, but seemed to watch her, even lead her through the forest. She felt light and dark collide in this forest. There were layers of spellwork on the very essence of the forest, she could see it present yet it did not seem to affect her. Which she was grateful for. She had enough to deal with what with the Nexus' visions and all.

It took her the better part of the day to traverse it from one end to the other. Even though night had fallen by the time she'd exited, she didn't want to spend the night in it. She arrived near the edge of a large lake. There were people, humans, living on the lake. Was this Esgaroth?

She decided to spend the night by the water. She didn't need much protection from the elements and was fairly confident she could handle anyone who would come investigate the small far away spark of light.

The night air was crisp, but clear as was the sky. She lit the fire and took out a small, leaf bound bundle and unwrapped it. This lembas bread was something that fascinated her. Was it the ingredients and they way they were put together or the elves infusing it with their magic that granted it's restorative and filling effects? One day when this was over, she would have to ask.

Linshara knew she needed to keep her mind and wits about her for the leg ahead and if she were honest, her mind was everywhere, her heart even more so. She was growing concerned for the dwarves, for Bilbo, for Gandalf. Most of all for Fili. This was a dangerous state to be in, she knew. Their task was greater than the individual, her own task of finding and protecting the dwarves as well. She needed to meditate.

After she finished eating, she sat crosslegged near the fire, backs of her palms on her knees, palms facing upward, looking out onto the slowly misting lake. In the distance, the city was shoring up its gates and watch, people were retreating into their homes. The world slowly crept asleep, the mountain in the distance felt exceptionally empty, cold, evil. The forest though, didn't sleep.

She could feel eyes upon her and the darkness pull at her. Taking a deep breath with intent to push out all distraction, she slowly succumbed to her meditation state.

It was unclear as to how long she had been in meditation when she felt as if someone or something had touched her mind. Opening her eyes she noticed the fire had died down and the only light was the silvery one of the moon. Something was approaching, slowly, with malice and cruel intent. With some stiffness in her cooled joints she stood up and drew her saber, stepping over the fire pit. Opening her senses she tried to make sense of the presence she was registering.

It was familiar somehow. ~Not Kallus...hmmm.~ No, it was not the Sith, his presence was overwhelming and overpowering when he didn't hide it through the Force. This one, it hit closer to home. As she approached the forest a little more she saw two figures dash out. One head full of blonde braids she could always recognize. The other she recognized by its hairy feet.

Part of her wanted to dash towards them immediately, the other part couldn't help wonder why they were alone and more importantly why she hadn't felt their presence before, especially Fili's. Suddenly something else jumped after them, a bright red, burning sword in their hand, head and body covered in dark clothing. She ran towards her friends but seemed slowed somehow, struggling.

The figure gained on Fili and Bilbo quickly, jumping over them with ease. As it landed it slashed at Bilbo's neck effortlessly the poor Hobbit dropping to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Linshara felt a stab through her chest.

"Nooooooooo!" She broke into a sprint towards the figure and jumped through the air towards them just as Fili got struck by a stream of force powered lightning.

Even the jump seemed slow and underpowered, she couldn't understand it. Fili screamed with pain and tried to grab at the figure but could barely make a step before dropping to his knees. She managed to push him out of the way and block the figure's slash at him. The blade seemed familiar too. Looking up she saw the figure's reddish, hate filled eyes, a snarling face.

She was looking at a vile, angry, disfigured version of herself. For all intents and purposes, her darkness embodied. Fili was slipping away, she could feel it, yet strangely it was as if he wasn't really there, but was. The pressure on her blade reminded her that her situation wasn't exactly good. She felt her throat constrict and her body lifted off the ground as she stared down into her own hate filled eyes. Thannis felt fear, it threatened to paralyze her into inaction, her sword dropping to the ground.

In the back of her mind a realization formed. The reason she found the presence familiar was because it was herself she was feeling. The dark, long restrained, long burried part of her, part she feared greatly. Because of this she had misgivings about entering a courtship with Fili, because she feared becoming the very creature that was so hatefully choking the light out of her.

Yoda advocated conquering fear and avoiding it, her own late Master spoke of embracing it as it was a part of every living thing. It was how you acted when afraid and what you did, your choices and actions that had the power, not the emotion itself. Maybe that was the key to her conundrum, to her inability to fully beat Kallus Ruun?

She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself despite her throat being slowly crushed then looked down at the dark Linshara and smiled. "I do not fear you." She choked out, "I am you as you are me."

"No! You are weak! Cowardly!" The dark one tossed Linshara aside like a rag doll. "Face me, or die! Like your friend and your lover, I will crush you. You cannot stop me!"

Rolling on the ground into a crouch, Linshara slowly stood up. She spread her arms to the side a bit, palms open towards her dark self. "I will not fight you anymore. We are part of a whole that makes Linshara Thannis. You cannot take me down, you would have already. We are both weak without the other. You are part of me as much as I am part of you, together we strike that balance we both seek."

"I hate you, your inability to act, your inability to take!" It hissed.

"You hate yourself and your inability to control yourself." Linshara countered and stepped closer.

"No!" It faltered.

"You need me. You need my control." She stepped closer.

"No..." the red blade dropped.

"I need your drive, your passion, your ability to indulge on occasion." Linshara opened her arms further.

It stepped away, flinching.

"You need my clarity, my compassion, my ability to love." Linshara continued until she stood toe to toe with her dark reflexion.

"We are stronger as a whole. I accept you." That said, Linshara embraced herself. Her vision dimmed.

Her eyes snapped open and she gasped. Blinking, Linshara looked around. She was still sitting crosslegged by the dwindling fire. Quickly she looked around and got to her feet. Looking in the direction in which she'd just had her encounter she was confused. The field and forest were empty, untouched.

~The Force was testing me,~ she realized as she breathed an unconscious sigh of relief. Chirruping birds snapped her attention back to her surroundings. It'd be light soon and people would wake. She was too rattled to sleep though. Instead, she decided to meditate more until the sun came up, to process and come to terms with what she'd just experienced, embracing of her own darkness.

~Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.~ Yoda's words echoed in her head as she sat back down.

Taking a deep breath then exhaling, she closed her eyes.

"No more fear."