Ch 14:

"I keep running away, even from the good things."

~AM (Running Away)

Ponyboy's POV:

The wall felt cool against my throbbing head as I heard the yelling coming from the next room. The entire gang except for me and Soda were in there, including Cherry. It made me too sick to even look at her, and Soda hated the fighting, so we both just decided to stay out of things.

I could hear everything they said, even through the dense walls. Darry was the main one hollering, at Cherry, at everyone. Soda was sobbing quietly next to me on our bed but my own tears were dried. A sort of hollowness replaced it, even though I know I was still bleeding somewhere. We all were, at least I think.

"What am I supposed to do? I can't care for them anymore, God dammit! We cannot deal with this while we have all of this finance issues and everything! There's nothing I can do, and it isn't our fault that your parents kicked you out! Pony has already gone through enough, and HE IS ONLY FUCKING FIFTEEN. Even if he does come back it isn't going to change a thing Sherri! He was NEVER going to support you and you sure have a lot of nerve coming back here after what you did to him and to our family." Maybe she didn't deserve all that, but she did have nerve coming to us and asking us for money. And I had never seen Darry this angry; he never usually cussed around me or Soda. I could hear her weak responses; she didn't even have the emotional strength to cry.

"Do you think we're going to a boys home Soda?" I whispered my voice hoarse from the night's events. Dally… gone. Possibly not even leaving a body in our wake. Why would he do this to us? Johnny didn't even get a chance to talk to him, not that anyone cared about my theories anymore….

Help us Johnny. I pleaded, closing my eyes and trying to breathe regularly.

"I don't know Pony." Soda whispered. I turned my eyes away from his form laying under the sheets and stood up, using the wall for support.

"Where are you going?" Soda asked, his voice a monotone. He had been blank ever since we came home from the crime scene yesterday. I pushed the thought out of my mind and continued to the door. I didn't answer him.

I walked out into the living room and reflected on the scene in front of me. Cherry was leaning against the counter, talking in low broken tones with her hand resting on her slightly swollen stomach. I couldn't hear her she was so quiet, but apparently my big brother could. Darry was seething and pacing in front of her, while the others just stared uncomfortably at the floor.

I leaned against the wall, feeling the dizziness overcome me. I hadn't been feeling so well.

"Please, can yall keep it down?" I said. Even though my voice was barely heard, everyone fell silent and looked at me. I avoided their eyes. "I don't feel great and we all need rest." I attempted to explain, but everyone's eye except for Cherry's seemed rather glazed over. They were unresponsive.

"You don't know I bad I just need a place to stay." She whispered, a tear gathering in those eyes I used to think were so beautiful. I looked toward Darry, whose face was hard.

"Just let her stay here Darry, just for a bit. Just until he comes back." I sighed, unable to resist her gaze. We were all she had, and we all knew what it felt like to lose the one thing that could keep you together. Darry gave me a stern glare before sweeping into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. He peeked his head out and bored his pale blue green eyes through me.

"He isn't coming back Pony. She can stay until she gets a job." Then he threw the door closed for real. I sighed.

"Don't get any trouble, you hear?" I snapped, walking to the kitchen and grabbing my coat.

"Where are you going?" Cherry asked, her voice shaking. Two-Bit looked up and looked at me in curiosity as well. I looked between them for a moment until Steve raised his head as well.

"I'm going to go find Dallas." I said simply. I shrugged my coat on, and ignoring their wide eyed stares as I grabbed a chunk of money sitting on the counter. I also grabbed some Asprin, tucking into my coat pocket along with the money. And then I walked through the front door. No way did I look back, no, I only looked ahead.

Catching a bus was easy, but sitting there an avoiding my runaway thoughts was the hard part. What if he wasn't there? He could honestly be anywhere, but I refused to believe he was dead.

There were only a few passengers on the bus, and the driver gave me a bewildered look when I boarded. I guess I was a bit young to be riding the bus by myself this late, but I think he was staring because I was a Greaser and riding the bus this late.

There was a Soc on the bus, but he was alone. He gave me a look when I sat a few seats back from him, but turned around after I flipped him off. Things had been real tense between the Socs and Greasers, and Darry had talked to Tim Sheppard and heard that his gang was getting it pretty rough. There was talk of a rumble, but none of us wanted the trouble.

Tim Sheppard looked a lot older than I last saw him. I guess Dally's disappearance was taking a toll on him as well, since Dally had been the first thing he asked about when he arrived this afternoon. He cursed him out fondly, than quickly changed the subject. He looked dejected by the fact that Dally is probably laying dead somewhere.

But he's not dead, no, not like everyone thinks.

Tim explained how he was going to get his boys not to pick fights with the Socs, but since they usually started it, it was going to be difficult. He also agreed that another rumble but seriously result in worse injuries then last time. We had all gotten older and stronger, and so had the Socs. We couldn't take any more deaths, and neither could they. We were at a draw.

Johnny wouldn't have wanted another rumble; yet again Dallas would have welcomed it. Their friendship was so hard to understand since they were absolute opposites. But I knew that was what Dallas wanted, that Johnny would never become like him,

But I wondered if he knew that he would eventually end up like Johnny? I don't mean dead, I'm referring to the way Dallas had changed when Cherry came along and Johnny left. It surprised as all, but now we all understood.

The bus screeched to a stop at the train station and I hopped off. The Soc rammed his elbow into my chest. I gritted my teeth, wanting so badly to fight back. But I walked away towards a group of benches to look at what time the train to Windrixville left. This took a much greater strength then punching him would have.

I had fifteen minutes. I sat down and looked at all of the oblivious people, none of them knowing that my world was falling apart.

A beautiful dark haired woman was laughing with an equally handsome man closest to me then the other pedestrians. They looked rich, but not Soc type of rich. They just looked genuinely carefree, but there was a look to them that told them they were not as cruel as Socs were.

Yes, we were back to square one with the whole hating Socs things. We knew it was partly our fault with Dally getting Cherry pregnant, but it was mostly Dally's fault after all. I think that's why Darry is so pissed.

"Aren't you a bit young to be riding a train by yourself?" The dark haired woman's eyes landed on me. She sure was pretty, with startling blue eyes, but she must have been Darry's age. Her hand was intertwined with the man next to her anyways. I opened and closed my mouth for a minute in shock that she was speaking with me.

"I think I'll be fine." I didn't mean to sound so cold, but I guess that was the way I was going to be talking from now on.

"I've seen you on the news." She said, sitting down next to me on the bench. Her husband I assumed sat next to her and stared at me with interest. She either did not notice my rudeness, or did and was ignoring it on purpose.

"Yeah." I said, feeling my face turn red at her reference to not only my class, but the recent events in my life that now the whole world knew about. I felt humiliated by how I was so ratty compared to them. They both seemed so sympathized, but not in the pitying ways like most were. They reminded me of someone, but I couldn't put my finger on whom.

"Where are you heading?" The man asked, leaning forward and looking at me with modest caring eyes. Suddenly I realized why they looked so familiar. The look on their eyes and written on their faces were so parenting, that they reminded me of my own parents. This revelation shocked me for a moment, and I stared at both of them openly for a moment. Then I realized he had asked me something.

"Oh, I was heading to Jay Mountain." I answered, blinking and looking at my feet.

"That's a long walk from the train stop." The woman said, adjusting her coat to remind me how cold it was out. It was supposed to be summer, but it was a bit chilly.

"I don't mind. Wait, have you been to Jay Mountain?" They both nodded in unison.

"We were there when the fire occurred, but we live a few miles from it." My breath caught at mention of the fire. I nodded and checked the clock again. I still had five minutes.

"Were heading there too, do you need a ride?" The man asked. I tilted my head, narrowing my eyes. Since I had grown up in an environment where the only people you could trust was your own family and the few friends you found, I found myself doubting their sincere sounding offer.

"I don't… I really shouldn't…" I mumbled. The second I uttered these words their faces fell.

"I hate to think of you walking all alone, please just consider it?" The woman asked, reaching forward and touching my arm gently. I wanted to flinch away, but something told me to trust them. It must have been the way her brows furrowed like my mothers had.

"Alright, thank you." I said after a moment of their pleading gazes. They both broke out into smiles, and I followed them onto the waiting train.

The ride wasn't as bad as the bus ride had been. The train seemed full of life, with chattering and talking coming from every set of seats. I sat next to the couple I had met and the station. The woman's name was Miranda, and man's Walter.

They were so talkative, yet seemed to stray around the subject of me. They didn't make me feel as though they only wished to talk about themselves; it was more as if they were sparing me from talking about something I really would rather avoid. There were a few touchy moments though, as there had to be.

"You've been through so much, yet I don't see how you could even stand heading back to the site where it all began." Walter said. His tone was not unkind, only curious, but Miranda gave him a look nonetheless.

"I just need to see if he's there. My missing friend that is." I said, my voice lowered.

They moved on though, and did manage to get my mind off of everything with stories of their six year old twins, their business, and even the stories of their relationship. I found myself laughing and talking like I hadn't for years. I talked to them as openly as I had with Johnny, and it was comforting.

Once we left the train we headed towards their parked car. It was a real tuff Mustang, and just sitting in it made me feel ten times tuffer.

"Do you need a place to stay tonight?" Miranda asked, gazing at me through the review mirror. I snapped out of my trance that was brought on by how amazing the car is. I looked back at her face, with eyes that so openly just wanted to help.

"I'm fine; I'll just stay at the church." I answered. I had already been such of a burden.

"Are you sure? It's practically gone, there are only ruins." Walter jumped in. They always seemed to have similar thoughts, I had noticed. They even finished each other's sentences, just like my parents would do when they were really into a story.

"I'm sure. I think my friend will be there." They both went quiet after thought and the only sound we heard for the rest of the ride was the radio, playing some slow jazz song.

The ride wasn't long, and before I knew it I was out of the car and thanking them. The air was a bit warmer, and I could see the moon and stars perfectly just like the nights spent here with Johnny. They hugged me and offered to let me stay, but I turned them down once again. I had never seen such pure, kind people. I waved goodbye as they drove off, but my thoughts were already far away from them.

I turned and faced the one place most of my dreams had taken place. Sure, it did look a little marred, but the church was ultimately still the same. Parts of it were missing, or covered with soot, but it was still the place of Johnny's last days.

I could see a figure inside, and I took a deep breath. Then I entered the church, not sure of who I would find inside.

Sorry for the late update, but Dally will be in the next one. I know I suck, but please review! I'm going to end this story soon, so I want to reach 50 reviews before then. Thanks a bunch for sticking with me and reviewing, I promise I will make the ending strong and try update as soon as possible!

~Lots of love,

Alaina