Chapter 14
Nessie's point of view
I paced the floor back and forth, of course, eating. Jacob sat on the couch watching some stupid comedy that he wasn't even paying attention to. Today my family was coming. I hope Jacob has his funeral suit picked out.
After us sort of getting back together, the cleaning crew came. Jacob and I rushed to make it look like we haven't burned a vampire since on of them was apart of the Ticuna tribes. They believed in dark, evil demons that prayed on women. They did have vampires like that but not the ones I loved.
I was getting dressed when Kaure and Gustavo came. Since Jacob didn't know Portuguese, and I was starving, I rushed to his aid. They also had a young boy who looked about a year younger than my look alike age-which I was going by was (twenty). He introduced himself as Hugo. He tried to flirt with me, but with Jacob intimidating him, he slowly backed off.
Just as soon as Kaure heard my voice, her thoughts became suspicious. Hugo dropped something and I helped him pick it up. He gave me a flirtatious smile and I smiled back just to be nice. He started talking to me, and to not be rude, I talked back.
Hugo was mesmerized by me and that's when I slacked off. Jacob was obviously jealous. He would wrap his arm around my waist, kiss my forehead, and my personal favorite, put his hand on my belly. It aggravated me since he would avoid it when we were alone, but it was also funny to see Jake jealous.
But even though Jake was making obvious signs that he was my "boyfriend," Hugo kept talking to us. He was intrigued by us much to Kaure's dismay. Hugo knew some English and I taught him some while his grandparents worked. He asked if I was pregnant and I answered yes. He asked when the baby was due and Jake and I answered that we wouldn't know yet.
Hugo also asked about where we were from. Jacob told him he was apart of the Quileute Native American tribe. He even taught Hugo a few Quileute words. I didn't know the language either and how Jacob spoke it made me drool over him even more.
I started telling Hugo about how this was the same exact place my parents had their honeymoon. Kaure over heard and stopped putting food in the cabinets and refrigerator much to my dismay. I was starving. She walked over to where the three of us were sitting at.
She asked who my mother and father was and I answered her. She muttered under her breath that the demon had killed my mother and I was the evil spawn. She started shouting that I should be put to death because I was half demon. I was going to kill my Jacob and her grandson. Jacob got protective and pushed me behind him; and due to my emotions, I started to get upset. Hugo and Gustavo got onto Kaure as it was no way to talk to a pregnant lady like that. She spat back that my baby should die too. I was too upset to yell back and her, and calling my baby a demon made it even worse.
And to think this would have been the tribe that we tried to figure out how long I would have lived when I was younger.
Jacob figured out how to say leave in Portuguese and yelled at them to do that. He held me in his arms while I cried. I noticed Hugo stayed behind a little and wished us well. Jacob then made it a point to learn more than just English and Quileute.
And now we are here waiting on the arrival of my parents. I was afraid of hearing their boat drive up. Jacob went ahead and told my family about Akken and they pack letting him get away. It was still in limbo if we were moving back or not. So the rest of my family is going to head back to Forks to check up on things. And by the way Jacob was speaking in Quileute, the pack wasn't happy. Jake knew though he would have to go back to the reservation sometime. He just didn't know when.
"Nervous?" Jacob asked.
"No, not that much." I lied. "Were you this nervous when the guys found out?"
"Wolf telepathy. I didn't have much of a choice." he answered. He grabbed my arm and slowly brought me down to sit by him.
It was kind of like we pushed what happen on my birthday to the back of our minds. Not me begging for forgiveness or Marcello, but the amazing kisses and Jacob recoiling his hand away from my stomach.
That left me confused. He did it without noticing, but when I tried he acted like I was bringing his hand to hot coals. But with Hugo, Jake couldn't keep his hands off of my stomach. I get that being around me is uncomfortable but he's phasing a lot so why is he doing it? He's either happy about this baby or not.
"But you are going to tell your dad? Your sister? Sue? Abby? Karli?"
"I think Abby and Karli is your job. You're the one who wants to be in the middle of their love life anyway." Jake joked.
"We were the ones that got them together."
"Embry and Seth imprinted on them. It wasn't a blind date."
"Yeah, but Seth was with you when Abby was with me. You…were picking me up in the Aston Martin?" I said, trying to recover from a mind blank and praying Jacob wasn't going to notice. But by him biting his lip, he did. "And Embry and Karli met…"
"At your third birthday party." Jacob finished flatly.
"So…"I trailed, trying to recover. "that means we have to do something. I can't let them make the same mistakes I did. Their my friends. Besides, they might be three months pregnant too." I joked.
"Wouldn't surprise me." Jacob thought to himself.
We sat there in silence. Jacob went back to watching the movie while I made it hard for him to pay attention. Eventually he sighed and turned off the TV and I smile triumphantly.
"What do you think Billy and Rachel would say?" I showed him, running my hands through his silky, soft hair. I like that we were sort of together, although I knew Jacob was cautious. He apologized for hurting me but it didn't bother me. I told him I understood and let him take this relationship as slow or fast as he wanted too. He told me that if we were going to have a baby we would have to be on extremely good terms. And I guess with Hugo flirting with me made him less cautious. Maybe he realized that what I told him was true. You never know with men.
"Honestly…part of me want to keep you away from the reservation. I know what's going to happen, Ness. They guys aren't happy about it and if the Elders believe that it's a danger, I'll be forced to call a Council meeting."
"What's so bad about that?"
"Things might not go good for us. It's an unknown creature. You have to understand that it might not be as good as you think it is. It's already using a gift-"
"I use to project images to Momma even when she was pregnant." I defended.
"I know that, but do you think everybody else is going to look at it that way. You've ruined your chances of the people liking on the Rez." Jacob snapped.
I bit my lip and nodded slowly, trying to hide my hurt. I swore my decision would not affect my baby, but they are. Its going to affect how its vampire family would look at it and how its Quileute family would act. I wanted to raise this child to show partiality to vampires and werewolves like its Momma and Daddy-well, sometimes with Jacob-does. I guess I'm going to have to do that teaching by myself.
"I'll prove to them-"
"Nessie. What do my kind protect?" Jacob asked as if he's had enough.
"The tribe?"
"What do we protect our tribe from?"
"Vampires." I finally breathed. Did he see me and my family as a threat now?
"It's in our natural instinct to hate-and kill-vampires." I shivered when Jacob said kill. "We were born to be that way. It's in our blood. And for all of us to be wary of what you leeches are bringing to us…"
And this is all because I broke Jacob's heart. In the out come, my child is going to have to pay for my stupidity.
"I'll go back to Washington. I'll stay in Forks. I'll stay with my family. I know it's going to be hard but…" I trailed as tears started to pool my vision.
I have to cry now?
"I'm just trying to think realistically."
"But-"
"Renesmee!" Jacob said exasperated. "What were we just thinking about?" he asked.
"Billy?"
"Before that."
I read his thoughts. I've learned to do that when my mind goes blank. I know it's wrong but it keeps me from getting upset.
"Nothing." I answered. I hated lying to him. It would eventually catch up with me; but right now I had to do something. I had to convince my parents right now that I could handle having a baby. I just have to convince myself that I can do this. I know I can handle the pregnancy part-I've been through much worse-but I knew motherhood was a different story. And Jacob being stubborn is just making it harder.
"You were reading my mind. That doesn't count." Jake said. I just shrugged. "Good thinking though."
I laughed and went to put in another movie. "You know, you can make yourself useful and make some popcorn."
"Yes, ma'am." he grumbled then got up and walked to the kitchen. I could smell the buttery scent of the popcorn, making my mouth water. I swear I'm going to get fat. Oh wait! I already am!
It took forever to pop enough popcorn for the both of us. I had no clue when my parents would get here. I haven't spoken to them since my birthday, but I figured I might as well enjoy the last of Jacob's time that I could get. I was trying to show him and my family that I regret all I did and I knew I could never take it back. I just hope I'm doing the right things I've got my baby to think about. I've already ruined his or her chances of getting to know its daddy side of the family, I don't want to ruin my side either.
Jake and I settled down and watched an old horror movie. Well, it was horror to the humans. How they portrayed the vampires and werewolves were hilarious so it was mostly just humor to us.
All of a sudden Jacob let out a howl that made me jump. I was too busy watching how Hollywood made our kind a comedy show.
"What the hell!" I shouted then projected how much it scared me.
"Just showing them how it's done. I mean, am I that hairy?" Jake laughed.
"Only when you're in wolf; but you look a lot cuter than them." I projected.
"Cute?"
I projected to him an image of the werewolf that was about to make me a chew two in London. "Would you rather look like that?"
Jake shivered at the idea of me being killed by a creature like that. "I'm not that bad, am I?"
He really actually worried that he was that bad as the Children of the Moon. Jacob's facial expression reminded me of a little kid that was worried he did something so wrong. I loved seeing that innocence of him.
"No," I shook my head, "you're not like them. My wolves aren't like that." I laughed, running my hands through his hair. I'd always hope Jacob's child would have his hair. Soft, silky, jet black… I guess I never thought I would dream about it this soon.
We settled back to watching the movie. I was surprised at how Jacob was with this feeling our child was putting off. He felt tense. He still felt cautious about being with me again but we're both coming around. I hope at least. I had no clue what we were. No ordinary love?
All of a sudden I got close to Jake's ear and let out a hiss. He jumped and I laughed. "Just showing them how it's done." I said with a smile.
"Not funny."
I settled deeper into the couch and a lot closer to Jacob. He tensed up even more but took deep breaths and finally relaxed. I noticed he settled his hand on my stomach and went back to watching the movie. He held my hand in his other one and was rubbing his thumb across it. He seemed totally oblivious to what he was doing. Or it would seem that way to me if I didn't see the obvious signs of his discomfort. How his whole body was tense, the slight tremors that went through his biceps, his nostrils flaring.
So instead of telling him to not worry about trying, I sighed and put my hand over his. I acted completely oblivious to what we were doing and Jacob did the same. He was smart. He was a trickster. But I knew his weakness. And children was one of them.
"Don't act like you don't know what I'm doing." Jacob said as he kept his face towards the screen.
"What are you doing?" I flirted. What? A pregnant four year old can't flirt with her shape-shifting baby daddy?
Jacob dramatically huffed and picked me up. I squealed as he put so that I was sitting in his lap, my back facing him. He leaned back against the couch and propped his feet on the coffee table and sighed. I moved-or tried to-but Jacob wouldn't let me budge. If he's uncomfortable he has a funny was of showing it.
"Jake…what are you doing?" I asked. Barely. He had that much over me.
"Getting comfortable." he answered, wiggling deeper into the couch, making it hard for me to move even more. He slid me down so that my head was on his shoulder. I was still facing upward so I would have to turn my head to look at him. I didn't want too. If I did, my shock would clearly show in my voice.
I tensed up when he slid his hands down to my belly, putting both hands on it. "There. This is how a man can relax." he sighed as if it was nothing. As if I never broke his heart then came up pregnant with his child.
"Ho-how." I stuttered. I swore I could see Jacob smile with pride.
"What else can I ask for? I have a beautiful angel in my lap." Jake smirked and I didn't bother to hide my blush.
"Can you see the movie?" I gave up on speaking. Being close to him made that difficult. But I loved being in his arms. I felt…home.
"I've got my eye on a sexier vampire." I glared at my Jacob. He saw my face and rolled his eyes as if I missed something. I probably did.
"Well, she's half…and pregnant." Jake moved to kiss my cheek twice before he moved his hand on my jawbone. He stroked it for a few seconds, looking into my eyes and then moved my face closer to his. His lips were so close I thought he was going to kiss me. I hope he would.
"I'm mostly just fat." I laughed, attempting to ignore the wanting of him to kiss me. I was failing at it.
"Isn't it a little to early to worry about gaining weight?"
"How I've been eating it won't surprise if your shirts fit me good." I fake pouted.
"True."
I gasped and turned my head quick, quick enough that it made me queasy. Did he just call me fat?
"You're light as a feather, Ness. Don't worry." Jake assured.
Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me. That's what I thought of. I want him to kiss me. I want to kiss him. It might be at how beautiful he was, or my crazy mood swings, or at how close he was to me, but I wanted his lips to be on mine!
But it never happen. We watched and finished the rest of the movie; and still nothing happen. I didn't bother to move to a different position. He would eventually kiss me right?
After a few minutes I got sick, but all Jacob did was bring the trash can closer to me. He kept his hands in the same position. What was up with that?
"Why are you doing this?" I projected, motioning to his hands on my stomach. I projected that if being near me-or my baby-bothered him so much, then why is he touching him or her?
"I'm trying. Isn't that what you want me to do. You need me, don't you?"
I did. I did need him. I needed him like the sky needed the sun and the moon. Like flowers needed rain. Like humans need food and water. Like vampires needed blood. I wasn't going to let him go ever again. I deserved if he didn't want this. It would kill me; but I needed him. I loved him. I loved Jacob. He was my imprinter. He was my best friend, my mate. I couldn't live without him.
I wanted to say something romantic and mushy, like what I just thought. I wanted to slap myself when I blurted, "Yeah, but I don't want you to feel like you have to love her. I know your cautious and I don't want to rush…you." The ending came out slow as I realized what I said. I called our baby a her. No it. Her.
"Did you-" my Jake asked, instantly catching onto what I said.
I nodded, shocked myself. "I guess I'm putting in my bid on what she is." There I go again! I said it again! But the funny thing was is that I've been wanting to call it a she. It's been on the tip of my tongue but I've never actually said it. I always pictured us having a boy. Giving Jacob a son so that he can carry on the great blood of being a Quileute shape-shifter, and to carry on the Black name.
Jacob and I were thinking about the same object but two different topics. We wanted to bring it up but didn't bother when we heard a boat coming closer-and me lurching forward with my head in the trash can. She picks now to make me sick?
"It'll be okay, baby." Jake soothed as I slowed my breathing. I was nervous. He was scared. We were both terrified.
"I hope you've got your funeral stuff ready." I said, walking to the door and stepped
outside. Jacob was hot on my heals.
"She has so much faith in me." Jake thought but I didn't respond.
Jacob caught up with me and took my hand as we walked down to the dock. I wanted to push it away but decided that it was better for him to hold my hand. We were in this together. We weren't going to be like my parents and push each other away. But my parents were in a lot better circumstance than we were.
I saw that it was just Momma and Daddy. I didn't know if I should be worried or thankful that it was just them that came. I could see them straining to smile at me but it was obviously clear that happiness wasn't what they were feeling towards their grandchild. Once I got closer to them, their mouths dropped and they instantly became uncomfortable and cautious. It wondered why their scared to be so close to me. They had this itch to use their gifts but couldn't.
I projected to Jacob the similarities I saw on how a gifted person acted. He flashed me a "I told you so" look at which I just rolled my eyes too.
Despite myself and my worries, I ran to them. I looked like a twenty year old but I was four. I wanted my mother and father. I couldn't do this by myself. I just hoped they understood that I wanted Jacob and I wanted his baby.
"I'm so, so, so, so sorry! I didn't mean…I-I'm an idiot! I love both of you!" I sobbed as both Momma and Daddy circled me in a hug. I missed them but right now they made me sick. Well, their scent anyway.
This isn't good.
I couldn't see that Daddy was glaring at Jacob and trying to read our minds. But like all the others, it was a useless hope. Maybe being the only one who could use gifts wasn't that much of a bad thing.
"We understand." my father soothed. He was trying to keep calm for my sake. He was actually wanting to shred Jacob to pieces.
But right now…I really needed to back way. It really stunk. Now I see why Jake hates the vampire smell.
I also noticed that Momma and Daddy must have hunted before coming here. Two bad smells-adding along just pure all day sickness-wasn't good right now. I needed Jake, but I don't think he would do any good at this point. I just had to figure out how to back away without being rude.
My father couldn't stand it anymore and growled, rubbing his head. "Bella, are you shielding Nessie and Jake?" Daddy asked.
Momma looked at Daddy confused. I don't think they thought all that they felt was because of their powerful granddaughter. "No." Momma answered. "I can't even use mine. It's there but its painful to try and use it."
"Mine is too." Daddy agreed. I was still crushed between them and having a struggle standing up.
"Jake, their making me sick." I showed my Jacob, hoping he would see my pleading gaze for him to do something.
"Guys, give her some space." Jake said as he tried to pull me close to him, only to be yanked back to my father. Their scent and the smell of blood was strangling me.
"She's my daughter." my father snapped in a polite way but it clearly had venom.
"Edward." Momma scolded.
"She needs fresh air. She needs me-to be near me." Jake pleaded. I started to hold my breath but it still wasn't helping.
"Do something!" I begged my Jacob.
"I'm trying!"
"Haven't you been near her enough? She is pregnant."
"She's sick!" Jake yelled. I could see the feeling was getting worse for him. Both of us feeling like crap wasn't going to help with my parents.
"Maybe because you did this to her! You deserve what she did to you!"
I stared back in shock at Daddy. All Jacob was pure, red rage. He wanted to attack Daddy but to protect me, he back away. I wanted to say something, but was terrified too.
"Edward!" Momma yelled. I hate when they act like I'm not here. Like I don't have a voice in all this. Some things never change.
My vision was getting blurry and everything was getting stuffy despite being outside. I need to get away, and it was killing my Jake to see me this way.
"LET GO OF ME!" I put all I had into my projection and blared that into their minds. I struggled to get away from them. They didn't understand why I wanted to get away from them.
I finally got away from them and stumbled to Jake, who was backing away from me. I knew he was scared he would hurt me but I've did worse. It killed him that he was wanting to do damage-and that damage could be done to me.
I fell to the ground and threw up. I hated this! Why does everybody have to fight?! Why can't this be a joyous occasion!?
Daddy was trying to read my thought but gave up. They were too uncomfortable too move, Jake was seething, and I was stuck in the crossfire. Good thing I'm bulletproof.
My mother attempted to help me but I pushed her away. I had no right to do this. She was just trying to do her job and be there for me when somebody needed to be. I felt horrible and I was glad she was there, but she wasn't helping me.
Jacob looked at me, his whole body shaking. He was breathing heavy. I should have told him to go, that I could handle it. I wanted too. He finally calmed down enough to move. With shaky hands Jake tried to help me but I shook my head no. "Don't…" I breathed. "You'll get worse. I don't need help."
"Don't be stupid." he thought as he picked me up and carried me back to the beach house. I clung as close to him as I could get-even when Jacob was getting worse-and breathed in his scent.
"That the understatement of the year. I'm always stupid." I showed him. "You go phase. I can handle my parents." At least I hope I could.
My Jacob shook his head no "I'm not leaving. If their stench is what's getting you, you're going to need me." When I told Jake this his scent helped my queasiness, he's been sticking around a lot more. He didn't want me to spend the rest of my "vacation" with my head in the toilet. He's been a little smug about it too that I needed him.
Jacob sat me on the couch. I didn't have any energy but I couldn't show any weakness. Jake saw that and moved so that there was no space between us and I could lean against him without really showing I was weak. He held my hand tight. We both weren't breathing.
Momma sat in a chair and crossed her legs at the ankles. I could tell that she wasn't happy to be a grandma just by her facial expressions. Daddy paced back and forth, rubbing his head as if he had a serious migraine.
"Say something." I begged.
"What do you want us to say?" Momma said like she did when we talked over the phone. Daddy started pacing quicker and I got distracted by him. I was a daddy's girl. I wanted him to be happy about this. I just wanted him to say at least something. I started to get dizzy, which was funny because I was never dizzy.
My vision blurred so I quickly looked down so my parents hopefully wouldn't notice. I tried to keep my breathing as normal as possible. The room felt hot and stuffy. I think I started to sway because Jacob moved his shoulder against my back to steady me.
"Stop pacing, Edward. You know you're not going to get anywhere with that." Jacob said like he was the one who was dizzy. I knew it was a useless cover up but it got Daddy to stop, and it proved to me that Jacob would do anything for me.
"Why?"
"Why, what?"
"Why are you putting yourself in harms way?" Momma asked.
"I-I'm not." I answered. I just realized that my mind went completely blank. All that I had planned on to say was gone.
"You are! Nessie! How far along are you?" Daddy shouted, which made me shrink and closer to Jacob who was only getting angrier.
"Three months." I mumbled.
"You don't look like it! What if you become like your mother was! You're not old enough!" Daddy snapped.
"Back off." my Jacob spat. "Give her time to explain."
"We told you what would happen if you got her pregnant. Jacob, don't you realize what you're going to put her though? That thing is something we don't know about." Momma said. I wanted to say that she was the one that wanted me when everybody thought I was a monster. She should at least understand me at that point.
Jacob and I looked at her in disbelief. They weren't going to let us explain. I couldn't even have the chance to recover what I lost. They kept yelling things at me and making me more upset.
I put my hands on my stomach, looking down at it, while Jake balled up his fist. He shifted in pain as my parents ranted more. I wanted to take that pain away. He said he was always worried that me might reach that point of no return. Where he becomes the monster he was always afraid of turning into. It made me wonder how he was going to be able to be around me during my pregnancy. It worried me even worse on how he was going to be able to raise his child if he or she puts off a feeling where Jacob can't wait to get away.
"Have both of you thought about the condition both of you are bringing this…thing into? It could kill you, Nessie, and you know what it will do to Jacob and us. You two are just now together. You've got to focus on building that and prepare for a child." Momma said. I scoffed at her. She shouldn't be the one talking.
"You did it." I whispered, jumping at Daddy and Jacob's shouts as they argued back and forth in each other's faces. I wanted to get in between them and stop it. Soon, I realized, Jacob's fear was about to come true.
"That was different. You're father and I were married-"
"I can't believe you!" I spat. "You fought everybody for me. You loved me enough to risk your life! You didn't care what I was, or who you had to fight, or how hard you had to fight to stay alive. You wanted me! You knew I was good! You and Daddy weren't on the same level either don't lecture me about it."
"But-"
"STOP BENIG SUCH A HYPOCRITE!" I shouted loud enough to make Jake and Daddy stop arguing.
Momma looked down with hurt in her topaz eyes. She bit her lip and avoided my eye contact. Guilt settled in the bottom of my stomach but I couldn't let that stop me. I wanted this baby. Even if I lost the battle, I would not loose the war.
"AND YOU'RE BEING A HYPOCRITE TOO, DADDY. YOU TOLD ME THAT I HAD TO STOP MAKING THE DECISIONS THAT OTHER PEOPLE WANTED ME TO MAKE! YOU TOLD ME THAT I NEEDED TO START MAKING THE CHOICEs THAT I WANT TO MAKE! I AM! I WANT THIS BABY AND NOBODY IS GOING TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME! I'LL FIGHT ANY OF YOU TO KEEP IT!" I yelled, standing up and tried to make myself look strong. All that failed when I started to get light headed again. I felt myself fall from where I was standing, but my Jacob caught me and sat me in a plush chair before I could fall.
"Jacob, do you think I could speak to you alone." Daddy asked.
I knew what that meant. It meant that my father was going to hurt my love. He was going to hurt my Jacob!
"No." I stated before Jacob could even think of saying anything. "You're not hurting him."
"Nessie, do you realize what both of you are getting yourself into? You're bigger than three months! I don't want to see you go through the pain and fight that your mother had to go through just to get you. I won't accept it. Our kind won't accept it. It's a breed we don't know about. The Volturi won't accept it. Jacob's kind won't accept it. You want to bring it the thing into a world where nobody wants it?"
I was getting angry on how everybody was calling it a "thing." It was a baby. Not a monster. And I was going to want it. It's daddy was. I didn't care who else wanted it. They didn't have to accept it. I was going to love this baby. That's all that mattered.
"One, don't call my baby a thing. Two, I don't care who wants it or who will accept it. I love him or her. She will be welcomed by me. Don't be happy about it if you don't want to be. That's your choice, but it will not affect mine. I will live to give birth to my child and will live to watch it grow." I growled, glaring at my father and daring him to protest.
"Bella was human when she was pregnant. Nessie's half vampire, making her stronger than a human. She's been through so many things when we thought she wouldn't live to see the next day. She's proved us wrong before." Jacob said with hate, but I could also detect hope. His voice scared me because it seemed he would blow any second, but I saw that he was trying to tell himself that I could live.
"So you're going to let her do this?" Daddy said to Jacob.
"I have no other choice." Jake snapped. "She's made up her mind. The spoiled brat gets what she wants when she wants it." It stung that he called me a spoiled brat but I couldn't be mad about that. I was a spoiled brat who gets what she wants.
Daddy backed off and Momma came to stand by me as Jacob stalked towards Daddy. He had my father as his prey and he wasn't going to stop until he kills him. Jake's fear was coming true. He was welcoming the point where he wouldn't be my Jacob anymore. Just a shell of a man I knew would never put me in danger.
"Jake?" Momma asked, worried for mine and Daddy's sake.
"Then it'll be your fault when she dies." That was all it took for the Jacob look alike to lunge. I got in front of him, hoping to stop and calm him down, but as he crashed into my body his weight and the force of the lunge sent us to the ground. Both of us grunted in pain. He was close to me, making the itch to strain worse, and I had a God knows how much he weighs werewolf on top of me with no way to get up. I was hoping he would get up but all he did was bury his head in my chest and growl. His body shook all over, he was in pain, and not phasing was choking him to death.
I tried to get up but I found Jacob's hands grip my sides, causing me pain. I didn't complain. I knew my Jacob needed me. I might be able to help. I wanted too, but Momma pulled me out from underneath my Jacob. I fought her. I had to get closer to Jacob!
Jacob got to his hands and knees and growled in pain and aggravation that eventually led to cries of pain. His back arch in an nonhuman way as if he was pushing the wolf to come out of him. When that failed, he put his head in his hands and started to pull at his hair.
Something twisted inside me. It was so bad it made my legs give out. Momma caught me with ease but my eyes locked on Jacob. Our steel bound connection was sending me what he was feeling. It ached in my heart. I was feeling his pain along with my own, and vice versa.
This was not going to be good.
"Jacob?" Daddy asked slowly as he walked up to my Jake.
Jake looked up to only growl at my father. He opened his mouth when another painful strain shot though, making me collapse. Jacob started letting go a string of cuss words he learned to control when I was little. He wanted to get outside and away from me.
"Jake!" I projected. He looked up at me with a deathly glare but I could also see the tears streaming down his face. I noticed he had dark colored coming out of his nose and ears. He was straining too much.
"I'm sorry." I showed him, feeling even more of his pain and sickness. I welcomed it even when I knew that it was bad on me and the baby. I would do anything to take away my Jacob's pain.
"Edward! Do something!" Momma begged as she was starting to have trouble holding me back. I wanted to be close to Jacob even though I knew it was bad for him. It was just pure instinct.
"He-he needs to get away from-from mmmee." I sobbed then regretted it. It only made Jacob more upset when he heard my cries.
"Why? What's wrong with them? What can I do?" Daddy thought, still trying to help Jacob.
I ignored the sickness and focused on the pain. Jacob just needed to be away from me. I had to give up on me helping him. "Just do it!" I shouted.
My father grunted and rubbed his head. He looked in pain and my mother didn't seem to far behind him. If they started to try and strain their gifts they would end of as the same as Jacob right now, and I really couldn't have that.
"Stop trying." I projected to my parents. I broke away from my mother's hold and went to Jacob as he now laid on the floor. The face he carried brought tears to my eyes.
"Get…a-aaway…fffrom…mm-me." Jake strained to say, but he didn't have any trouble hiding the hate in his tone. He used on of his hands and pushed me away hard.
Daddy was able to get Jacob up and get him outside. I stayed frozen, not moving Everything seemed to start blackening out but it was like a clear picture. I was in this world but my presence wasn't known. I was so exhausted I could sleep for days.
I crawled on top of the couch and clutched my chest. The mixture of my pain and Jacob's was still there, knocking the breath out of me. Was he going to come back? Was Jacob going to kill my father? All these questions took over my mind, taking over my sanity.
About five minutes later I heard a wolf howl. I slid down to the bamboo floor, feeling the coolness on my cheek. Momma came over and wiped something from my face. I had no clue if it was tears, blood, or snot but I do know it made me sick.
I stumbled to the kitchen, barely holding myself up. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to know why everybody hated my baby. Why? I didn't care if they hated me but her? She was innocent! She was just a baby!
I held my breath as my mother carried me to the bedroom. Only four years ago she was here doing the same thing. Fighting for her child. Enjoying paradise. Now it seemed like a dark, gray cloud was covering up the paradise. It had no plans of moving out of the way just to let one ray of sunshine to come through.
"Why, Renesmee?" Momma thought.
I didn't answer the question. "Get that shirt that's laying on the floor." I told my mother instead. She went to grab it and a whiff of her smell came my way. Ugh!
I changed out of my clothes and slipped on the black shirt, only wearing that. I got under the covers and breathed in his wonderful smell. My heart ached and yearned for Jacob, but him being away from our daughter was probably for the best right now.
I sunk deeper into the bed, putting a hand on my stomach. Okay…I was bigger than three months but I didn't care. I would live. I wouldn't change. I would stay my half breed, weird self.
~~~~~ Forever Ours ~~~~~
Jacob's point of view:
I spent two days away from Nessie. Part of me was agreeing that I needed time away from her and away from the thing inside her. The other part said that I needed to be with her at all cost. She was stuck with something that would make her sick. She would need me as support on going against her parents. She needed me! I just couldn't bring myself to phase back to man. And that scared me.
When all that took place, I knew I reached the point where I really hoped I wouldn't see. That was my breaking point. It was to the point where I needed to phase. I tried so hard to do it, but it kept being pushed back down. The itch was so bad that I couldn't resist. I was to the point where I was trying to inflict pain on myself just so I wouldn't focus on the pain of not phasing. The worst part was having Nessie feel it along with me.
Edward dragged me away from my girl. The second I was far enough to be out of the radar, I phased. Edward sighed in relief so I assumed he was able to read thoughts again.
I explained to Edward what Nessie's baby's gift might me. Well, I guess you could say my son or daughter since I was the father. I told him how uncomfortable we would feel, and if we kept pushing the itch like I did, it would get us nowhere.
All I knew was I got angry and then everything seemed questionable as to me doing any of those things. Bella, Edward, and I weren't in our right minds. We were going to have to control this feeling if we wanted to stick around. I think I was getting a head start.
The pack saw what happen and that ignited fire to their flame. They threatened to tell everybody if I didn't head back to the reservation now. I had to remind them who was the leader. So all I got achieved was the second I step foot in La Push, they would call a Council Meeting. Joy.
After Bella made sure Nessie was asleep, the three of us had a more civilized conversation. It was also that fact that we were all away from the straining, uncomfortable feeling. I explained that I had no clue that Nessie's prom night would result in her being pregnant. I said that I wanted kids but I never intended to have them now. I explained that I never intended to get Nessie pregnant. I even went back to why Nessie left me. I said if I knew she was pregnant I would have actually made an attempt to keep her with me just so we could talk. But I didn't know she was pregnant and neither did she. Amazing how a baby can change everything.
Why she left…Nessie begged me to let her back in my life. I told her yes even when I was cautious and scared. I was cautious of getting close to Nessie again. I was afraid I would just loose her again. I was afraid of getting close to our child. I wanted to run. I wanted to just stay one more night and then leave. Take my chicken, scared butt and run back to the security of the reservation. I just couldn't. Now I think I was falling in love with Nessie all over again. She had that feeling about her that makes me love her. We're more relaxed when we're with each other. It may be my connection with her. It may be that I've been with her for four, long years. It may be because of the imprint. I can't explain something I didn't know.
I think with the baby…okay. Maybe I was falling in love with it too. I wasn't liking the idea of it hurting the ones I care about, or it being powerful before it was born. I was…the more I was around it, even though I wanted to run, I was happy. I found myself touching Nessie's belly when I didn't even know I was doing so. Nessie wasn't going to get rid of it. She was bound and determined to be a mother at a young age. That was going to make me being a young father. I've have experience with babies. With Nessie, Channing, and even the older kids. I know being a father was a lot harder than babysitting for a friend. I was going to have to be one. Whether I was ready or not.
So all coming down to it, Bella and Edward would take a different angle at talking with Nessie. They would let her do most of the talking. Nessie was different now. She had fire in her, but we could tell it was dwindling out. The cleaning lady chewed Nessie up and spit her back out. Bella and Edward easily walked over her. I even pushed her around. I just had to figure out why she's so strong, but when it comes to people she lets them push her around. It's like she doesn't even have a backbone even more.
I had to see Nessie. We were leaving in a few hours. I had to explain to her that I had to go back to La Push. I had to settle things with the pack. Edward said that they could possibly move back to Forks. I would be better on me. Plus Carlisle hasn't gotten enough respect at the hospital he was working at to get the equipment he would need for Nessie. It was stupid to think that there was loopholes in the treaty. They couldn't go up against me. That would be a death sentence for them.
I couldn't stand it anymore. I found the nerve to phase back to man and jogged to the beach house. I walked through the back and saw Bella packing Nessie's things.
"Where's Ness?" I asked.
"She's at a waterfall Edward took me to on our honeymoon." Bella answered with a assuring smile.
She could see the panic on my face and laughed. All I could think about was if Marcello had more on his side. What if she was in trouble?
"Relax, Jake, she's safe." Edward reassured, appearing in the room.
"How do you know?" I asked, still worried.
"Because I we just took her over there-"
"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN! SHE COULD HAVE GOTTEN HURT BETWEEN THEN AND NOW!"
"And I just got off the phone with her. Relax."
Okay. Calm down. Maybe that wasn't so bad with her. I'm starting to sound like a frantic father, aren't I?
"You will be in few more months." Edward answered my thoughts. That's one thing I didn't miss. Edward in my head checking every single thought.
"Stay out of head, bloodsucker." I thought, taking off to find Nessie. I relied my connection with her to find where she was at.
It didn't take me long to find Nessie. I was close because I felt uncomfortable but I ignored it. Renesmee was more important.
As I made it through the brush to find my girl in a lagoon. The waterfall fell behind her, making it looking beautiful. And I wasn't talking about the nature. It was nice, but it was Nessie who made it even more beautiful. I was running out of air.
I stood there just to watch her, completely awestruck. She was standing in the water fall, bikini on, soaking wet. Bella must have cut her hair back because it was a little shorter than before. Her skin glowed slightly because of the sun. She was so gorgeous and she was mine. If I ever said I doubted falling in love with her was again was even possible, I've lied. I was already deeply, madly in love with her as much as I was before. I'm going for even more. I knew if she wouldn't want me anymore then go ahead and kill me. Just my final request would be that I get on last look at her then I might just die of a heart attack-if that was even possible for me. I was falling. And I was falling harder than I've ever fell before.
Nessie put her hand on her stomach and bit her lip. "Wonder where your daddy is? Do you know? I don't know about you, but I miss him." she said to her stomach. She was into this mother thing. "I think you're going to wrap him around your little finger. He's amazing. He loves your mommy more than she can ever deserve. He thinks he has to play superhero to everybody so expect him to be with you every second of your life. I hope you grow up like him. He's always going to be there for you like I will be. We both love you so much. You're the reason why we've realized we can't be idiots anymore."
I smiled as she was talking to our child about me. Nessie was going to be right. The baby would have me wrapped. I love its mama. I have to be superhero because so many lives depend on me. And I will probably follow it around every second of its like. And…I loved it. The baby.
But no doubt about it, she was bigger than three months. It scared me. What if she's going to be like Bella. I can't see her waist away like that. Right now she looked more like four months. What if it drastically changed again.
I took a deep breath. I couldn't think about that now. I needed to think that Nessie was going to live. Because if she saw me loosing hope, she would too.
"Hey, beautiful." I said, walking closer to her.
Renemsee jumped and slipped, regaining her balance. She smiled widely at me and tried to rush to get to me. I told her to stay put and sat down near the water. I noticed she had her camera next to the water and huffed. It seemed like everyday Nessie was loosing more of herself. Her camera was practically her baby. (No pun intended.) She would never risk something happening to it.
I started to flip through pictures she had taken on Isle Esme. Most were of landscapes but she snuck some of her parents in too. Them smiling at each other, holding hands. They were great but another one caught my eye. It was me. I was looking off somewhere. I looked deep in thought. The last time I remember Nessie having her camera at me was her birthday. She would make a good P.I.
"Karli and Embry are back together." Nessie said after a while of silence. She was so nosy.
"Figured they would be." I yawned. I was exhausted. Straining took a lot out of me, and I hadn't slept in two days. Right now all I wanted to do was sleep, sleep, and more sleep. I wouldn't get that lucky.
"She's coming back to Forks to see Embry and Abby. And for Jared and Kim's wedding." she said, the last part more directed to me.
I had to tell her that we wouldn't be going to the wedding. I needed to tell her that we would be separated for a few days. Believe me, I wanted her to come with me, but it just wasn't possible. She had to see her family and I had to face up to several immature men. Me included.
"Look, Ness…"
"No!" she shouted.
"It's the best way we can protect you." I pressed, assuming she read my mind.
"By me loosing my locket?!" she shouted, frantically looking around.
I laughed and slipped into the water. "I'll get it." I said then dove underwater.
"It's not funny!" I heard her shriek as I was under the water.
I checked near her when all of a sudden I felt I hard slap in the head-or more like a foot-and slammed my head against rock. I came back up to see Nessie glaring at me with her arms crossed. I would say she looked so cute if my head didn't hurt.
"What was that for?!"
"You laughed at me!"
"Really? That's your excuse for smacking my head against a rock?"
"Now find my locket." Nessie ordered.
I acted like I was shocked she ordered me to do such a thing. "Me? Who do you think you are to tell me what to do? I'm Alpha of a wolf pack and Chief of the Quileute tribe. I don't take orders from anybody. Especially bloodsuckers!"
"Find it!" She looks so cute when she acts her age.
"No!" I said with a reward of water being slashed in my face. I can really get under her nerves.
"Do you want me to find it?" I threw my hands up.
"Yes."
"Then stop being so sexy for like three seconds and help me." I spat, going back underwater. Nessie projected me an image of it being near the waterfall so I check there. Something gold caught my eye. Nessie's freaking locket. I reached out to grab it, resurfacing.
"You know, after I had thing to you, I expect a better reward that what you've been giving me." I joked to Nessie. To be honest, I haven't even kissed her since the time I told her she either gave me answers or I was gone. She's kissed me but I was too afraid to touch her. Funny how things change. Now I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her so bad that it hurt.
"What shall that be?" she showed me with a smile. Nessie got up from the slippery rock and started to unsteadily make her away down to me.
"Ness-" I started to say when she slipped. Everything else seemed to go a lot slower then.
A bird cried, making Nessie jump and she fell even worse. She fell backwards and hit her head on the rock hard. The back of my head throbbed, my connection with her feeling her pain.
My body couldn't move any faster as I saw lay there unconscious. "Nessie!" I shouted, feeling like an idiot.
I rushed to her, moving slower than I would have like. I tried to shake her but she would wake up. "Come on, Nessie. Please!"
No movement.
I picked her up and rushed back, yelling for Edward and Bella. By the panic in my voice, both looked at me with worry. They both rushed to me when they saw that I was carrying their unconscious daughter's limp body. They both had the uncomfortable look on their faces but ignored it like I was doing now.
I sat down on the couch with her head in my lap as a pillow. She looked so peaceful. I thought she would be asleep if I didn't know better. I just eventually knew she would wake up with a throbbing headache.
"What happen?" Bella asked as Edward checked over her.
"Nessie slipped." was all I could say. It would be kind of stupid to say all this happen because of a stupid locket-which I still had in my hand.
I remembered when Nessie's head once met with a baseball. That seemed like decades ago. It took her hours to wake up. But that was with vampire strength that knocked her cold out. Hopefully a rock won't last long.
The pain came back but I'm trying to ignore it. It was better ignoring it than pushing it.
We all waited patiently. It took thirty minutes. Those thirty minutes turned into one hour, and one hour turned into two. Two hours took to three and so on and so forth. Edward said if she didn't wake up at a quarter to five we would have Carlisle rush down to Brazil. Or we could risk it with a human doctor and have a very good excuse why she runs a temperature that shows she should be put in a hospital.
I looked at the clock. It was getting close. Can something else be keeping her knocked out?
Renesmee stirred and my heart quickened. Her hand grazed over her stomach as she moved her head and winced.
"Nessie?" Edward asked.
"Baby, can you hear us?" Bella said, worried. I stayed silent as their focus went blank then eventually went back to normal. Both laughed.
"Jake?" Nessie croaked, opening her eyes slowly. My breath caught as I saw them. Her gorgeous, chocolate, brown eyes that I fell in love with before and was falling in love with again.
And all to soon, like the snap of fingers, she shut them.
"How are you feeling?" Edward asked, smoothing Nessie's hair back. Nessie winced more.
"Like a thousand knives are stabbing me in the back of my skull." she whimpered. She could take pain. I don't know it it's that bad or because she's different bow, but my Nessie wouldn't be complaining. Maybe I'm just being a jerk.
"I don't think anybody expected the danger magnet to come out." I joked. Renesmee seemed to relax now, hearing my voice.
"All because of a stupid locket." I thoughts. Nessie popped her eyes open and looked at me confused. She didn't remember. That's common right? She had a blunt force to her head. That's acceptable, right?
I pressed it into her hand and she gripped it with a fist and swallowed hard. Her forehead was squinted with worry and I smoothed my thumb over her head to relax it.
We all agreed that we should wait a few more minutes to see how Nessie was feeling. Bella suggested that I get some sleep. I ignored her. I wanted to make sure my Nessie was okay.
"Jake, get some sleep." Nessie said, her head still in my lap.
"I will." I told her. Eventually I will.
Nessie grabbed my hand and our linked hands traveled down to her stomach. She smiled up at me and I couldn't help but smile back. I had to get use to the fact that Nessie wasn't going to let this baby thing go. We were in this together. I won't give up if she won't.
"Do you think she's okay." I noticed Nessie said she again. There was pros and cons about it being a girl. Or a boy. Or just its father being the descendent of a great, powerful Chief who phased into a gigantic wolf.
Pros about having a girl: It'll look exactly Nessie. There's a lesser chance it will phase.
Cons? It'll phase. It'll imprint. It'll get imprinted on-much to my disliking. She'll have her first heartbreak and I'll kill the boy who hurt my little girl. Now I understand how Edward feels one hundred percent. Just the thought of some boy with his hands all over my daughter makes me angry. Or the thought of her in a relationship before she even knew what love was. I don't want whatever it is to be forced into something or to someone.
Just…a boy's hands touching my little girl?! Ugh?! I'm getting angry just thinking about it!
I had to think of something to get that out of my head. "You're calling this thing a she. Have you ever thought that it could possibly a he." I joked, doing anything to stay awake.
"I…I just know it's a girl."
"How?"
"Gut feeling. The same way I know she is yours." I bit my lips. Even though I try so hard, part of me felt that this wasn't mine. I was going to raise it, though, so I had to be thinking that it was mine. Nessie and I were together. It was mine. It was mine. He was mine. She was mine. They were mine. Did I just say they?
"Then that goes to show that it is a boy." I answered, trying to get the subject over who the baby's father was.
"How?"
Bella walked in the room, plopping down near us. "When I was pregnant with you, I thought you were a boy. So now they doubt my gender guessing skills. And you 're my daughter so most of the time the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Bella huffed.
"I think in this case I'm glad you're wrong." my Renesmee laughed, smiling up at me when I realized I was grazing my thumb back and forth on her stomach. "Where's Daddy?" she asked Bella.
"Talking to Japser." she answered.
I've got to tell her about us being separated for a while. My mind was just too tired to think of anything. Maybe I won't have to actually leaver her. I'll be okay. She'll be okay. The baby will be okay. We'll all be okay.
"Have they said anything about the baby?" Nessie asked and Bella shrugged. We knew the answer.
I laid down and put Nessie on top of me. She had her face pressed in my neck. She must be getting sick and trying to hide it. Bella looked said with worry and concern being in her eyes. She was making her daughter sick and wasn't meaning to do it. Personally to me I thought it was funny. But to a point.
I rubbed back as sleep was seeping into me. I tried to fight it but it was getting harder and harder not to.
"Sleep, my Jacob."
"I'm fine."
"Haven't you heard the saying sleep while you can, because once the baby is here you won't be getting any at all?"
I laughed, or I think I did. I probably wouldn't be getting any sleep and time soon. I had so many things on my brain that, I often doubted sleep would come. Boy was I wrong.