Hey guys,
Sorry it took me longer to update. It was a lot that I tried to put in and I had to decide where to go from the story. In the end of the chapter you find some questions, hope you answer…
Xoxo
Rachel looked at Sam as he went to the fridge to get them two beers. The pizza he had ordered was a great idea and Rachel was enjoying her evening here. It took them ages to decide what pizza to choose and in the end she felt stupid to have argued with him, because he paid for it and refused to take her money. It was a great idea to order food, because her stomach was already complaining. Since Dean came around in the morning and talked to her, she hadn't been able to eat at all. She had to swallow all the things he said to her and it was hard to swallow anything else for a while. Owen called her twice today, but she refused to pick up. Rachel didn't want to think about that or she would have felt even more ashamed. He had nothing to do with the chaos in her life right now and she treated him poorly. Rachel exhaled and tried to ban these thoughts away. As she came here to talk to Dean, she didn't see the evening go in this direction. She was watching medical shows with Sam and was actually having fun. She even managed to forget about all the pain that she was going through. Of all people that she would have trusted with her heart, Sam wasn't one of them. There were only Brooke and Dean. And well Rachel came here for Dean, who still hasn't showed up.
"I guess light beer for you?" Sam asked and Rachel nodded with her mouth full. She needed to drive home later and she hated to drive drunk, even if she felt good after 2 or 3 beers, she would never drown after consuming so much. Sam's eyes were soft on hers when he came back.
She felt vulnerable when she came here, even more when she told Sam how she felt towards his older brother and she sighed. Sam was such a great listener. Brooke was great too, but she liked to kick Rachel's ass in conversations, especially when she thought that she could move something with it – Sam just listened and barely said anything back, except that Dean had feelings for her, just as she had for him. Now she glimpsed at the clock again. It seemed like a neurosis but she checked the clock every now and then, to see how long she was already waiting for Dean. Rachel was here for 2 hours now and he still didn't show up. It was almost past midnight and Dean didn't even call to check on his brother.
Normally he always did. Sam came back and handed her a beer.
"I think he just is running late" Sam told Rachel and she swallowed her pizza down. Was it this easy to figure out what she was thinking? She wanted to pretend that the Winchester boy was wrong, but there was no sense in that after she opened her soul to him anyways.
"I guess" she simply sighed and looked at him "don't you find it a little weird, that we eat junk food while we watch a House episode, where they treat an overweight person?" she grinned. Sam looked towards the screen and made a face. Changing the subject seemed like the best thing to do at this moment. Rachel didn't want to talk about Dean anymore…
"Thanks for making me turn around and watch this scene" Sam complained and Rachel giggled.
Somehow this evening was the first that she spent feeling normal after Dean returned, maybe even since he left. She was so used to be with Sam, Dean and Brooke. Just hanging out, eating pizza and watch dumb movies, that's how her life used to be, before… Before she noticed Dean's blue eyes…before she fell asleep on his shoulder during one of those nights…before he let her sleep in his bed and crashed on his couch…before she fell in love, probably for the first time. She had boyfriends, but they were always just a waste of time, just another guy she tried to feel for…with Dean she tried not to…
Rachel sighed and chewed on her pizza. She wondered where the blonde Winchester boy was, the one that once made her wake up early and take 15 minutes longer to get ready for school. The one she used to flirt with while working on her routine in cheer practice. Sam glimpsed at his red-haired friend and felt anger rising up in him. He needed Dean to come home soon. First Rachel started to become more vivid and now he could almost read her doubts, her sadness and her worries from her face.
"Such a great episode" Sam smirked and tried to cheer her up, but the smile he received was a faked one.
"Sure" Rachel noted while she didn't even know what Sam was talking about. Sam also glimpsed at the clock and wondered where the hell his brother was. And he hoped he wasn't doing anything stupid right now.
They were both still on the floor and haven't moved an inch. Her head was still on his shoulder and he noticed a small movement of her body and tensed. Dean looked at Brooke who was sobbing now. The tears were now stronger and her whole body was shaking. Nathan just called her a whore and though she pretended to be strong and not harmed by his words. They were like knives that wounded her. She was barely breathing and tightening her grip around the blanket that covered her naked body. Her cheeks were reddish from all the crying and tears still ran down her face and Dean started to feel guilty. He was upset when he came here. He glimpsed just once. Dean noticed that Brooke was hot a day before and he just couldn't stop himself before he kissed her on her shoulder. He wanted her, wanted to feel her hands on his back, her breath on his skin and hear her moans. He started the whole thing and now she was here on the floor, feeling horrible for what she had done and crying her eyes out. Dean sighed.
"I am sorry, honey B" he whispered and Brooke looked up at him confused. Her head was lifted from his shoulder and her eyes confused and concentrated on his. She couldn't understand why this boy would apologize to her. He didn't call her a slut, he hadn't… her tears were running down even harder now.
"What?" she wondered her voice barely hearable and Dean was surprised at her reaction, still he continued.
"I shouldn't have…I knew you were just as down as…" he wanted to explain but he was lacking words and he didn't want to upset her even more, but she stopped him.
"Shhh" she pressed her finger on his mouth and looked into his worried eyes. Her eyes were watery and Dean wanted to escape her gaze, but also didn't want to. He wanted to see her mimic while she talked, to know whether she was trying to just ease his guilt or if she was meaning it. She exhaled.
"I don't regret it" she whispered.
This was even more shocking for him now. Her eyes rested on his. She really didn't regret it. Somehow she felt that this night didn't ruin their friendship and it was important for her that it didn't. She would have lied if she had said that she didn't want him in this particular moment. Or that she wanted to fight it. It was a great night. But...well.
"I just regret the circumstances…" she whispered and thought about it. Without Nathan in this whole scenario…and without Rachel she wouldn't feel like this now...She would be happy and satisfied.
He looked worried as Brooke wanted to take this doubts out of his head. They made a mistake, but it wasn't his, it was theirs.
"It was amazing Dean, god it was…" she remembered it for a second – and she defiantly wasn't regretting it as a separate thing "and normally I would say we are both single, attractive and attracted to each other" she looked at him and a flash back of his movements and her screams came back to her, but she shook her head. She couldn't think about it now.
"But you don't want me Dean, you want Rachel and you are just too stubborn to admit it" Brooke whispered "and I…" she exhaled again.
"He broke up with Peyton" she explained and Dean looked surprised.
He didn't think about the consequences when he made the move on her. In that very moment when he got up and kissed Brooke's bare shoulder he didn't even think about the people he might hurt. Neither did Brooke.
It was a mistake and they both knew it now, but in the moment it seemed so right.
So damn right…
Dean looked at Brooke and hesitated before he repeated her words.
"He really came here to tell you he broke up with Peyton?" he wondered and Brooke nodded.
Dean's heart stopped for a moment. He just now realized how much he had screwed things up for Brooke and Nathan, maybe even himself…
"You know, he doesn't get to call me a whore" she whispered and looked at him. This once again caught him off-guard. He was confused how fast Brooke's thoughts travelled.
"I might have made some slutty decisions, but the worst was to…" Brooke was biting her lip now "was to fall for him".
"He was the one DATING my best friend, SLEEPING with her and only coming for me when he got…bored?" Brooke exhaled "he doesn't get to call me a whore"
Dean got up and walked into her room. Brooke looked surprised. Did she just say something to upset Dean? Did she really mess it up?
He put on his jeans and glimpsed out of the window while he buttoned the jeans.
"Where are you going?" she asked and slowly got up to look into her room.
He just picked up his shirt and walked past Brooke, while throwing it on, on his way down.
"Dean?" she looked after him and he stopped for a second.
"I'll be right back" he mumbled.
Brooke only heart the door shut close and the tears ran down her face. She just managed to lose one of her best friends, lose the guy that she obviously had feelings for and betray her other best friend. Yes, it seemed like Brooke Davis had managed to get a strike. She pulled her knees closer and shut her eyes.
Nathan angry hit the steering wheel of his car. How could he have been such an idiot to believe that Brooke would be…well…he didn't even want to think about all the words that got stuck in his throat after he had seen Dean in her room. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Not at all…
Of all people she wanted to get even with, she had chosen the guy she was in love with when she was younger and yes one of their best friends and his half-brother? Well if she wanted to see him on the floor, bleeding…here he was.
Nathan couldn't drive away quite yet. He needed to calm down first…at least a little bit. How could he have come here and tell her he broke up with Peyton…after he saw her making out with Lucas? He managed to see this as her getting even thing: Brooke getting even for him being blind all this time, for him listening to her and trying not to break her best friend's feelings, though he had enough reasons too. He was willing to give her this one sidestep, though he could barely take things like that anymore. Peyton had managed to break his ego… at least she managed to bruise it. With all her cheating around with Jake and Anna, and that Pete guy.
Yeah, Peyton claimed to have screwed around with Pete from Fall out Boy - though Nathan actually didn't care who she screwed around with. Anna was the one thing that didn't bruise his ego at all. Well he wasn't a woman, so yeah if Peyton was ticking this way…okay sure, but he was Nathan Scott, and she screwed around with guys that weren't worth it. At least Jake never was. And he still doubted the whole Fall Out Boy story.
Nathan noticed how his brain and his heart calmed down. Ironically thinking about all the cheating Peyton had done calmed him down, because with her he never actually cared. Or at least he stopped to care along the way. First he really liked Peyton. He also needed an ego push, after Brooke wasn't taking his attempts seriously, and Peyton was easy to get.
Brooke was different for him always has been, but he wouldn't let his brain trail away there.
He started the motor and the lights went on, he slowly was riding the car out of the driveway as he needed to hit the brakes very hard, because someone ran in front of his car. Nathan stopped the car and looked into the lightened darkness.
Dean was standing there in front of his car holding a hand as to show him to stop.
Damn, if he would just start the car earlier, he could have run this idiot over and it wouldn't have been even his fault.
"Nate, we should talk" Dean screamed and Nathan rolled his eyes and pulled the window down.
"Brave to stand in my way Dean or should I call it stupid" Nathan chocked out "I could still make it look like an accident…and actually this wasn't your stupidest decision tonight"
Dean hit his head back and breathed out.
"I deserved that" he said simply and this sentence made Nathan snap. He got out of his car and walked over to his so-called-friend.
"You didn't just say that" Nathan whispered "you SCREWED my…" he hesitated and exchanged his sentence. His whole body tensed as he noticed what he wanted to say and that he couldn't call her that…
"Brooke" he breathed out.
"And I am sorry… I was venerable…" Dean started and Nathan laughed.
Of all the excuses he thought Dean would come up with this was the lamest.
"I actually don't care what you were" Nathan decided and turned to head back towards his car. He wouldn't give Dean Redemption if this was what he came for. There was nothing he could have said that would make this numb feeling go away. That would erase this picture out of Nathan's brain.
"You know that I don't have to be sorry, but this girl is upstairs and she feels like crap and she wants to take it all back"
Did he just say he hadn't had to be sorry? He just slept with Brooke and there were millions of reasons he should feel sorry for. And Brooke should feel like crap. She made him feel… Well he was still feeling like…
Thousand wounds…
Bleeding…
"Like I care" Nathan mumbled and Dean hesitated. He needed to safe the situation. After all that he screwed up. He needed be the first Nathan talked to. He should have screamed at him…be mad at him. Was there anything that Dean could have said to at least make Nathan realize that he should forgive Brooke, not him, but maybe Brooke?
"Well so that's how you feel huh?" Dean wondered and Nathan turned back to him and stepped towards Dean. How dared this guy ask him how he felt? He was a shadow of who he used to be right now. Numbness…that's how he felt.
"Don't you dare assume how I feel" Nathan said and walked towards Dean. Anger was brooding inside him now. His hand formed a fist as he looked in these familiar blue eyes that were daringly looking him down. He was close to him now.
"Do you love her?" Dean wondered "are you in love with her?"
He wasn't seriously there! How dared he?
"Why do you care?" Nate asked and still was towering over Dean.
After all that Dean had done – Nathan tried not to think too hard about the details – he dared to ask him how he felt for Brooke NOW?
"Well, you know if you don't…" Dean whispered "there is no way I should feel guilty or she should feel this miserable and for the record this way what we did…" Dean couldn't finish the sentence as he screamed from pain. Nathan's right hand smacked his nose and he felt blood run down.
"Don't you dare talk to me like this" Nathan whispered as he put his hand on Dean's shoulder and the other was still in the air.
"Don't try to make what the two of you did okay" Nathan dared him.
This was what Dean was afraid of. He could barely face Nathan. His nose was bleeding hard and he wasn't sure what there was left to say. Nathan just lived through the most painful situation. Dean remembered how he first saw Owen at Rachel's house…
"I am sorry Nate…" Dean whispered "and you can hate me all you want"
"Believe me I will" Nathan whispered.
"But if you are in love with her, think about the way you make her feel" Dean pleaded. Something he should have said to himself, before he talked to Rachel earlier. He was hurting the girl, that he wanted to shield from all the harm in the world.
"Care how she feels?" Nathan laughed.
"Yeah" Dean replied still in pain.
"I don't care how she feels, like she didn't care, how I would feel when she got under you" Nathan said hard and let Dean go.
"She still thought you were with Peyton…" Dean mumbled and was still holding to his nose.
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Q1: I thought about writing a separate Brean story, would you guys want me to?
Q2: I would like to hear where you guys think the characters will go…
Thanks ^^