Thank you to the ninety nine percent of you being kind and patient during this problem. I'm still not 100% sure if it's fixed but I'm posting this regardless and I just hope to God that those of you following receive alerts, I apologise in advance if you don't. I've sent a dozen emails and a few tweets to the site email and twitter account but got no response, so, hey ho. Thanks for all of the amazing reviews! I LOVE reading them, so thank you! Hope you enjoy this next chapter! ALSO any long segments in italics are meant to be read as flashbacks
"I can't tell you what to do, it's whatever you feel is right." His eyebrows were raised as he talked slowly, trying to get his point across to her. They were still in the store-room and her heart was battling her mind on what decision to make.
"I don't know what to do, I just know that this isn't right." She continued to shake her head as she spoke, becoming more alarmed with each shake. "I can't, I can't do it."
"Okay, okay." He quickly closed the gap between them again upon noticing how distressed she was becoming. Before he knew it, for the first time in a long time, he'd enveloped her into a hug. "It's fine, don't do anything you don't want to do." He soothed softly, rubbing her back with one hand. At first she felt rigid and uncomfortable in his embrace but once realising she was in it already and there was no fighting it, she melted into his grip nicely. It felt so secure for her, to be quite honest, she didn't want it to end. But it did, as soon as he stopped rubbing she felt his hands loosen their grip as he pulled back to get a proper look at her. It was a strange, familiar feeling between them. He was so close to her face and she could see every feature clearly. Just as she remembered them. It was a mere matter of seconds before they united in a rushed and emotionally charged kiss, she wanted comforting and he wanted her to know that he cared.
She felt her back press up against the store-room shelves as he pushed her backwards gently and deepened their embrace, her hands sliding up over his chest to the sides of his neck and stopping once they reached the sides of his face. His hands roamed also but were headed down her sides, he stopped suddenly and pulled away with a frustrated sigh.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have done that." He felt like he'd taken advantage of her in such an emotional moment, something he shouldn't be doing to anyone let alone someone who'd been raped
and was now bearing the child of that awful action.
She, on the other hand, couldn't muster a word. She was far too confused and slightly embarrassed at what had just happened. They were back to maintaining minimal eye contact as she stared down at her shoes, crossing one arm over her abdomen as the other one pushed a few strands of hair behind her ear.
"I'm sorry." He uttered it a second time to enhance the sincerity of his words.
"No, it's fine." She whispered back, not really sure what else to say. She was all over the place at the moment. But one thing was absolutely sure in her mind. "I can't do it."
"I know and I agree." He finally looked at her, a little flushed in the cheeks as he nodded. "I don't think you should do it either."
She didn't. She couldn't. There was a really strong feeling inside of her that was just screaming no. The rest of the day was a horrible blur, against Sam's advice and attempted order, she remained at work for the rest of the afternoon. By the end of it her head was pounding and her lower back killing. She and Sam had been making awkward eye contact ever since. It was a moment of weakness on her part and perhaps a moment of promise on his? She wasn't really sure. Finally having a sit down in her office, she took this quiet time to reflect on everything that had just happened. It was really sinking in now, especially after refusing to terminate and finally thinking to herself 'I'm having a baby.' She'd get through it though, she always did. Sighing aloud, she slumped forward and rested her head in her hands exhaustedly. After a couple of seconds she moved one hand behind her to try and soothe her aching back. She knew lower back pain was common in the first trimester but she was only around the seven week mark and it had been giving her grief for the last two hours.
"Small tip." Duffy's voice startled her slightly in the doorway.
"Ginger." She smiled proudly and let herself into the office.
"Sorry?" Connie sat up straight, genuinely confused.
"Backache in the early stages of pregnancy. If you rub ginger on the affected area, it helps."
"Oh." She smiled and looked down, not ready to have this conversation with anyone. "Thank you, I'll keep that in mind."
"I hope you don't mind, I was worried about you and asked Sam how things went." Her face was full of concern, which helped to tone down Connie's frustration at being fussed about.
"Well, that's really not his place to say, but nice of him to put your mind at rest." She cringed immediately at how bitchy she was being, especially towards Duffy, possibly the kindest person working in this hospital. "Sorry, it's just been a really intense day." She sighed again and sat back in her chair.
"No need to apologise, the first few months are always the hardest. If you ever need to talk or need some advice, I'm always here to listen or help."
"Thank you." She smiled gratefully.
"Oh." She stopped on her way out, turning around to face her again. "And congratulations." They exchanged smiles again before she left the room completely and Connie's smile faded almost instantly. She just wanted to go home.
After conquering a mountain of paperwork she decided that was enough for one day. It was almost nine o'clock and she still hadn't had eaten anything since lunch-time, she should probably start taking better care of herself. Sliding her coat on as she left, she threw her bag over her shoulder and headed for the car park. She could see Sam coming out of the lift from the corner of her eye and did her best to avoid him, quickening her pace until she was outside. That sounded awful especially after how kind he was to her today, aside from the screaming match, but she didn't want to talk any more today. At least not about the topic Sam wanted to talk about. Nearing her car, she let her mind wander. She couldn't wait to get home and have a bath.
"Connie?" She jumped out of her skin at the small voice calling out from behind her, turning immediately she squinted to try and see the figure it came from. He was crouched down and hugging his knees tight to his chest.
"Hugo?" She instantly went into panic mode, rushing over to him and dropping her bag by the nearest bench. "Hugo, sweetheart, what's happened?" She crouched down by his side, forgetting all of her worries straight away at the sight of this sad, lonely and scared little boy.
"It's her birthday today." He sniffled, trying to wipe his tears away.
"And he forgot." Her heart sank faster than a rock in water.
"Oh, Hugo." She sighed, rubbing his arm softly. "I'm so sorry."
"So I've run away, I'd rather be anywhere than with him." His tearful sobs turned into angry words as he continued to wipe his tears away.
"Well, you can't really stay out here all night, can you? You'll freeze, look at you, you're shivering already." He listened to her warm voice, looking down at his own trembling hands.
"Will you let me stay with you? Just for one night? I promise I won't annoy you." His sad, teary eyes were breaking her heart. Damn hormones. She blinked quickly and smiled, attempting to disguise the sadness she felt for him. At the same time, she didn't know what to do, of course she'd have to let him stay but she'd also have to let his Father know where he was.
"On one condition, Hugo." She gave him a stern but loving look.
"You call your Dad as soon as we get in and you let him know where you are." Her terms and conditions made him think for a couple of seconds but he knew even just one night away from home and with Connie would beat staying out here and getting frostbite.
"Deal." He smiled and wiped his eyes again, letting her help him up. "I don't have any pyjamas." He said sweetly as she grabbed his and her things, loading them into the car.
"Don't worry, I'm sure we'll find you something." She gave him a smile before they strapped in and set off.
He was a chatty little thing. Which, in a way, she loved about him. Sometimes she struggled to even get a sentence out of Grace, even if she was trying her hardest. Perhaps it was just a teenaged girl thing? She thought back to her teen years and shuddered. She hoped she didn't have the same situations to look forward to with Grace.
Once they were back, Connie managed to get Hugo to call his Dad and had a quick word with him herself before he hung up. Turns out it was indeed Hugo's Mum's birthday today and Jim had forgotten. Poor Hugo's heart had been broken.
"I hope you like marshmallows." She grinned as she rounded the corner with a hot chocolate in her hand.
"I love them!" He took the mug from her happily and sat with it clutched to his chest once he'd taken a sip, leaving a nice little brown and white moustache on his upper lip. "You won't tell Grace, will you?" He glanced down at the pink pyjamas he was wearing, surrounded nicely by the pink and white sheets he was nestled in. She'd put him in the guest room but had to use Grace's sheets for the double bed.
"I won't breathe a word, I promise." She smiled again, sitting on the side of the bed.
"Are you okay, Connie?" His innocent question almost knocked her over, he asked so casually as he sipped sweetly at his hot chocolate.
"Me?" She chuckled. "I'm fine."
"You looked like you'd been crying before, when you found me outside?" He was now spooning the gooey layer of marshmallow into his mouth before looking at her with a glimpse of concern in his eyes.
"No, no. Of course not, it was just a very busy day today."
"Was it something to do with Grace's dad? She said you two are always yelling at each other." That last sentence hurt her heart, she knew that Grace understood she and Sam weren't together but for her to say they were always arguing made her feel sad. That's the last thing she wanted Grace to be surrounded by.
"Well, Sam and I do clash sometimes but don't all parents?" He nodded with wide eyes. "See, it's not just us. But to answer your question, no. There's nothing wrong with me. And Grace's Dad and I haven't done any yelling today." She lied, watching the concern in his face slowly subside. "Anyway, it's past ten. You should be asleep." She took the empty cup from him and watched him settle in comfortably before heading to the doorway and turning the light off.
"Connie?" His small voice sounded out from under all the blankets and puffy duvet. "Thanks for letting me stay, Grace is really lucky to have you." He smiled even though it was dark and she couldn't see it. Her heart was sinking all the way into her stomach. This poor boy was piercing her heart.
She left his door open a fraction and headed back downstairs to clear away their plates and dishes. They'd had pizza, so much for her taking better care of herself she thought as she rinsed all the plates and loaded them into the dishwasher. Once she'd finished she flicked the kettle on before being interrupted by her phone. It was Sam.
"Sam." She said it too quickly and now there was an awkward silence.
"Sorry, I just, I didn't see you leave earlier and I just wanted to say, y'know, about what happened today, in the store-room, I shou-"
"It's fine, I know." She interjected quickly, trying to end this agonisingly painful conversation. "It's behind us, it was a mistake on both parts. It never happened." There was complete silence forcing her to listen to her own heartbeat in her chest. "Sam?"
"Hm? Yeah, no, no, you're right. Let's just carry on as normal, start again tomorrow and act as if today never, uh, today never happened." Even though it was a phone conversation, she could picture in her head his body language and facial expression as he spoke. On the other end of the line he could see her with one arm crossed over herself, her eyes rolling slightly at his bashful rambling.
"Right, so I'll see you tomorrow then."
"Yeah." He sighed, his lips folding together before opening again.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
"Oh and Sam?" She called out, waiting to see if he'd hung up but he hadn't. "Thank you." There was a slight pause whilst she gathered herself. "For today, It, uh, it really helped."
"Any time." She could feel him smiling through the phone and it made her mimic him.
Normally an early riser, she shocked herself the next morning when she woke up at 08:47. She was so tired all the time at the moment and she only had more horrible pregnancy symptoms to experience the further along in her pregnancy she got. Laying on her side she closed her eyes for a second, attempting to let this wave of nausea wash over her but it wasn't going to pass. Quickly throwing the covers back she headed to her en-suite. Throwing up first thing was always a good start to the day. She cleaned up, showered and got dressed before heading downstairs. She popped her head into the guest room on the way down. Shocked to see it was empty, the bed had been made and the curtains opened. There was small comfort in the fact that she could hear the TV on downstairs so she knew Hugo was down there somewhere. She made her way down into the kitchen, smiling at the sight she was presented with.
"I didn't know you were a chef." She smiled, putting the kettle on as she looked over at him.
"I thought I'd make us pancakes, Mum loved pancakes in the morning."
"Don't burn yourself, I don't want to have to explain that to your Dad later." Her smile faded when she saw him look down sadly. "Hugo, sweetheart, he's your Dad, you have to go home to him. I mean, I'm more than happy for you to stay here as long as you want but ultimately, that's your Dad's decision and he probably wants you home. Okay?" She spoke kindly, not wanting to further upset him. It kind of worked and his smile briefly reappeared as he set her pancake on to a plate.
"I know." He sighed. "But at least eat breakfast with me before I go?"
"How could I say no to pancakes?" She pulled a stool up to the breakfast bar and joined him. She was only half-way through her pancake when she was hit with that awful feeling again. Let it pass, let it pass, let it pass she repeated over and over again in her head. Huffing slightly when it didn't. "Excuse me a minute." She smiled and pushed her chair out, making her way out of the kitchen at a faster pace than the average walk. He sat silently for a while, worrying what was going on. His worries were laid to rest when she re-entered the room looking slightly pale.
"You don't like them do you?" His face winced a little, looking down at the half eaten pancake.
"Of course I do! One of the best pancakes I've ever had!" Her eyes scanned his solemn little face before trying to spin a small white lie to save his feelings. "I think we ordered a dodgy pizza last night." She patted her stomach and smiled again. "Nothing to do with your lovely pancakes."
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." She sat down again, forcing herself through the nausea just to finish of this pancake and make him smile. It worked.
/
"Are you keeping your fluids up?" He stalked her down the hospital corridor as soon as she came out of the Female toilets, her face paler than a ghost. She'd only been here an hour and he was already on he back.
"Sam." She warned sharply, stopping to face him. " Can you please keep it down?" Her eyes pleaded with him silently. He kept forgetting to keep his voice down when talking about it so openly in the corridors.
"Sorry, I've just noticed that this time around you seem a lot worse off with it, that's all."
"I'm fine, just struggling to keep things down in the morning. It's nothing."
"Make sure you're drinking plenty-"
"Sam, I know the drill." She held her hands up, whispering angrily. " I know you're trying to be supportive and I'm thankful for that, I really am." She put her hand on her chest, displaying her gratitude. "But please, I feel like I'm suffocating with you behind me asking a thousand and one questions every half hour!"
"Sorry, I just, I had to force myself in when you were having Grace. I guess I feel like I have to do it again now." They'd entered her office now and were able to talk a little more freely. Neither would hold eye contact with the other for too long though. Still an awkward feeling in the air.
"Well, this one really doesn't have anything to do with you, so you don't need to worry yourself about it." Completely oblivious to how cold that sounded she sat down at her desk and awaited his response as she knocked back two nurofen for a splitting headache.
"It does though, doesn't it?" He shook his head with disbelief. For an incredibly intelligent woman, she could be so blind to the obvious sometimes. "This is going to change everything and you're saying it has nothing to do with me? How are you going to tell Grace? Will you tell her who the Father is?" His nostrils flared slightly with anger. "What happens when this baby is old enough to understand things and questions why Grace has a Father and he or she doesn't? How do you think I'll feel being a Father to one of your children and not the other?" His temper cracked slightly, letting all these irate thoughts he had bottled up inside his head come crashing out at full force. They were obviously things she hadn't even considered, her face told him that much.
"Sam-" She looked down as she spoke his name but he interrupted her once more. A brave move he wouldn't have dared do once upon a time.
"I'm so sick of being knocked back by you for anything I do-"
"No, Sam." She spoke more urgently and didn't bother raising her head this time. "I think I'm bleeding."
It's only short sorry but I'll hopefully get another posted tomorrow! Thanks so much for all of your reviews once again, they're so motivating! And thanks for the lovely reviews left on my Apologies post, hopefully this stupid problem has been fixed although I never heard back from the team via email or twitter, which was super helpful. Not. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this one!