Nauseous: causing nausea, sickening

During the S&M, as in early Season 4. You could place it anytime during that stretch of episodes, I guess, surely before their agreement crumbled, though. Maybe if you should pick a real moment, after Meredith decides to spend a little more time with Derek at the trailer, I don't remember which episode it is exactly, but I'm sure you do. If you need, I'll look that up.

Suggested Song: Miracle Drug - U2

Derek pushed the button to call for an elevator after a long shift, filled with surgeries, ready to go and rest in his warm bed. He'd welcome an invitation from Meredith, but he didn't want to push it with her.

He had barely caught a few glimpses of her during the day and the old ache was building up in his chest again. He couldn't help it, he just missed her, even if she was blatantly using him for sex, they both knew that deep down, it was so much more.

When the doors opened and they revealed a very tired Meredith Grey, he couldn't help but smile. Usually, she would have smiled back widely, maybe even throwing in a playful line about them and empty elevators, this time she just dragged herself a little on the side, making room for him, a small smile plastered on her face. She looked drained, more tired than how he felt.

"Hey" he said warmly, stepping in and standing by her side, their bodies almost touching.

"Hi" she said weakly "Rain check for tonight" she whispered then, almost as if she was afraid to say it but at the same time, he was amazed that she already thought that this pretending thing they had put on was regular, like she couldn't stay without it just like him.

"It's okay, really. You look..." he said, trying to find the perfect words without knowing where to put boundaries exactly.

"Like crap" she completed, a resigned sigh escaping her lips.

"I was going to say tired, but..." he chuckled, but she barely acknowledged him "Tough shift?"

"You could say that" she said, the smile becoming ironic on her lips as she walked backwards to lean against the cold wall of the elevator. Her eyes were closed, her breaths shallow and her face pale.

"Are you okay?" he said, concern filling his voice

"Yeah, I'm fine" she said, overusing this word. "Just haven't eaten enough today, I feel a little dizzy" she admitted, for once throwing to the wind all the boundaries she was putting up between them.

Behind her closed eyes, she could picture his face filled with worry after her confessions, but she couldn't help but try to keep him at arm's length. They were doing the sex and mockery thing, he wasn't supposed to hover over her frail health.

She was aware that her latest shift in the clinic had graced her with a massive cold and flu to sleep off, she felt it already in her system and she just wanted to curl up under her very empty bed and sleep until her body was sore from laying.

She heard the faint dinging of the elevator, but she made no move to actually get off. The motion wasn't all that bad, considering everything, because that meant that she had at least avoided the stomach bug.

"Meredith" he called out softly, trying to breech behind her closed eyelids when she didn't even tried to move as the elevator came to a stop.

Her eyes were suddenly staring back into his, her green almost glassy blue as she slowly moved outside, every gesture seemed a struggle, like her whole body was aching.

"Meredith!" he followed her in the main hall, not caring about the sure whispers if nurses saw them leaving together.

She stopped and turned slowly, her face filling with annoyance and something else he couldn't decipher. "Do you need a ride home?" he blurted out, without thinking.

She looked at his concerned face and the keys in his hand immediately pictured in her head the comfortable seats in his car. She knew that he was breaking the rules, but she was too tired and too sick to care this time around.

He could feel her thoughts swirl in her head, before she nodded faintly and replied "That would be nice, thank you"

She let him catch up with her, then they fell into step together, as he guided her to his car. It felt nice for once to go home with him, knowing that there wasn't any prospect of sex. Hell, she knew he was just driving her home, why she was all mushy about this?

He opened the door for her and if she wasn't that sick she would have swatted his arm, instead she took all the help he gave her and she waited for him to start the car, already settling in the leather of his seat.

The engine rumbled in the quiet between them, then he navigated through the parking lot at a decent speed, not the rushed one he usually used when they were going home straight for more than two rounds of amazing sex. They were just driving home together and despite her feeling like crap, she was kind of enjoying this.

Well, until her stomach began to flip-flop at each bump he took.

She closed her eyes and tried to relax, tuning down every sound and focusing on her breathing.

"Meredith?" he whispered softly when he turned to her and saw her eyes closed, her hands resting folded on her stomach, her breaths regular but still strange.

"Hm" she hummed, not even opening her eyes, just making noise to tell him that she wasn't passed out yet.

"You're sick, aren't you?"

She let the silence settle, pondering her answer and waiting for the latest bolt of nausea to pass then she finally admitted "Feeling like crap", a smile gracing her pale features for the briefest moment, but Derek was glad he hadn't miss it. He thanked all the red lights on his way that night.

They remained silent, Derek feeling a bit helpless as he drove her home, Meredith trying her best not to throw up.

He opened a bit the window for her, to get some fresh air and she seemed relieved for a moment, until about halfway to her house she leaned heavily against the headrest and asked in a small, scared voice "Pull over, Derek"

He immediately spotted a larger space on the side of the road, so he stopped the car there. She barely had time to free herself from the seat belt, open the door and stand up before she threw up the contents of her stomach.

Derek opened his door right away and when he was to her side of the car, she was supporting herself heavily against the car door, her body barely able to stand up on her own.

"Okay" he sighed as she bent down to ride out another wave of vomiting. His hand went on her back, gently rubbing soft circles on her back as she tried to stand up again, her face paler than before, her body visibly weak.

"Shouldn't be anything left now" she said, her voice croaky as she looked up at him "Sorry about that" she tried to shrug it off.

"Don't worry" he said genuinely, for once loving the fact that she was willingly accepting his help or she was too weak to care about the simple fact that he was there. "Wait" he said then, going back to the trunk of the car and pulling out a rugged, flannel blanket, then he reached out for the bottle of water resting between the two seats. "Here" he said, handing her the water first to rinse her mouth and she was glad that he thought about it, the taste of bile making her want to throw up again.

She spit the water in the grass, then he helped her sit back in the car, their bodies close in a non-intimate way after weeks of just sex. She sighed contentedly as he draped the blanket around her and snuggled her inside it like the meat inside a taco.

She had missed him, taking care of her.

"There you go" he said, just to make the silence around a little less filled with traffic and a little more like their own personal bubble.

"Thank you" she said sincerely as he closed the door for her and smiled widely through the glass.

"Anytime" he said when he restarted the engine.

She looked a little pale every time he glanced at her with the corner of his eyes, a small part of him amused at how snuggled was in that blanket, the majority though just wanting to take care of her until she was feeling better, suddenly hating all the boundaries that sex-and-mockery thing had put between them.

The rest of the ride was quiet, Meredith's breaths so even that he thought she had fallen asleep if she hadn't kept her eyes open. When he parked the car in front of her driveway, she smiled weakly at him.

She snuggled out of the blanket slowly to unfasten her seat belt, then she folded the old cloth and put it on the seat as she stood up, her body shivering a little from the sudden change of temperature.

"Keep it" he suggested then and she looked at him almost with tears in her eyes.

He got out of the car and picked her purse for her as she reached out for the blanked and draped it over her shoulders, sighing contentedly when the remaining warmth seeped back through her clothes.

He led her up to the steps, opening the door for her with the key that was still under the pot and she smiled; knowing that he still knew that made her smile.

"You could grab a glass of water or something, before you leave. There's probably cake somewhere too. I'd keep you company, but I'm going straight to bed" she admitted.

He nodded, moving to the kitchen as she disappeared upstairs. Instead of grabbing a glass of water though, he put up the pot with water and heated up some to make her tea, while he racked his mind to remember in which cabinet they kept the saltines.

He found graham crackers when the water was boiling. He choose her favorite brand of tea and made two cups, then put the whole thing on a tray and went upstairs. He knocked, then gently opened the door.

She was just getting under the covers as he appeared in her bedroom, holding a tray and smiling like a child.

"I figured I should bring the treats to you instead of eating all alone" he smirked and she felt like kissing him, despite she had the weirdest bug and they weren't even in a position to kiss each other randomly as she wanted to do right then and there. The puking must have gotten into her brain cells as well. The absurdity of this thought confirmed her theories.

Before she could fight him, he was laying beside her, holding out a cup of what smelled like her favorite tea and graham crackers.

"Thank you" she said, wrapping her hand on the warm mug, their fingers barely brushing for a second but stirring up old feelings that she had long fought against.

They sipped their cups silently, small smiles gracing their faces as they stared straight ahead, listening to each other's breaths.

She put the empty mug back on the tray and she was almost disappointed when he did the same and stood up.

"Derek" she called out, before she could even realize it.

"I'll be right back, I just put them back in the kitchen and I grab a blanket more for you" he said, smiling softly, his eyes crinkling.

"Okay" she acknowledged, a little weight lifting up from her shoulder.

She waited for him to come back, then curled up in his side of the bed, snuggling into a ball as she felt her flip-flopping stomach settle. There was still something missing.

He tiptoed back in the room, then asked softly "Do you need anything else?"

"Could you...Do you mind staying here tonight?" she said, her voice small, almost childish, scared.

"Yeah, I can sleep on the couch and you can call me when you need me"

"No, I mean...here. Beside me. Do you mind holding me tonight?" she asked and suddenly she was more than naked in front of him, her emotions laid bare, rough.

"I'd love to" he said, his voice thick with emotion as he took off his shirt and pants and found his old Bowdoin shirt and sweatpants he had thought lost as he opened the one that had been his drawer back when things weren't this complicated.

"You kept these?" he said, almost amazed as he wore the old clothes, feeling suddenly at home.

"I meant to return them, I really did" she lied, the smirk was clearly displayed on her face, but he was glad she still had a spot for him in her dresser.

He laid beside her and she turned to him, her body molding into his as one of his hand went around her middle and pulled her closer.

"You're burning up" he said, when he tenderly kissed her forehead and her eyes immediately met his, a flicker of worry already there.

"Do you want me to stay away?" she said, turning her back to him

"Come here" he said, moving beside her and spooning her, his lips finding her neck and his arms wrapped over her stomach. She relaxed immediately in his hold, sighing deeply.

He began caressing her body, just like he did before, after they made love, only when she let him pamper her before she'd threw him out of her bed at every possible inglorious hour. This time she didn't complain or stiffened though, she simply relaxed as he caressed softly her hips, then her stomach, trying to avoid the place he knew made her squirm, until her hand found his as he hovered over her stomach and she held him there, her fingers intertwining with his and she snuggled even deeper into his arms.

"Thank you" she said sincerely, sighing

"You're welcome" he replied, kissing the back of her neck and making her take a deep intake of breath. "Just wake me up if you need anything else tonight" he said.

She squeezed his hand, then whispered "Goodnight Derek" her voice already filled with sleep.

"Goodnight Meredith" he replied, glad to have her back in his arms, wishing he could feel this way for the rest of his life.

He had to give it time, he knew it, so right then, he just decided to enjoy this little moments she gave in and let him in, because they were what got him through the day, until she was ready.

He just knew he could wait forever, if she asked him to. Especially when he could hear her snore in his arms after such a long day.

"I love you" he whispered to her sleeping form and he thought he had imagined her hold tightening on him, but then, the small smile gracing her lips was indeed there and he knew that they were going to be okay, together, someday.

Okay, this might be the most abstract one-shot in this series. It's also the longest, probably, so I hope you won't mind.

I also switched between PoVs, I know, I realized it in the latest editing, but think of it as the camera switching. Crappy excuse for my laziness, I know ;)

I wrote this a long time ago, it was maybe one of the first I wrote, but I can't remember exactly. I had been working on this for a little less than a year, I believe, since some were part of a project I decided to drop and they were later converted into this, where they fit just perfectly.

It's them, being together, it's Meredith, keeping him around, staying at the trailer a little more, it's her giving in to him, too tired to fight all the emotions. She's giving in and it could be seen as a weakness or as a turning point, just pick what makes you sleep at night.

Not much to say about the song here, it's a good song, not for this topic, really, but it fit as it played so here it is, Miracle Drug, U2. It's not about love as in a couple thing, it's a broader sense of love. Find the history of this song on Goggle, it will change your whole perspective on it. I found it going through a story here, same title as the song, it was an instant favorite.

Well, you should be overjoyed that O was written before getting to this point or the hiatus would have been longer after this. It's written though, I need to debate which song fit better and edit it for the umpteenth time, but it's done. Embrace it.