AN: Holy hell, it's another chapter. Three in one day? You betcha! Love me? Love me now? You guys better. I hope these updates make up for my slacking. Please enjoy and read and review. Seriously, review you guys. It makes my day to read your reviews. I need them, like cocaine or something. Not really like cocaine. I wouldn't touch that stuff unless it was given to me by Charlie Sheen. I kid. Enough of my rambling. On with the plot!

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious. I do not own Coheed and Cambria. I do not own a soul for I have sold it to the devil.

Jade's POV

"Keep your secrets in the dark.
Nothing matters anymore.
Body's breaking, drive me crazy.
This is not your place."

Angrily, I turned off the radio. Music wasn't helping me distract myself. No, it was just upsetting me even more. Fuck Shiloh. Fuck her and her way of always knowing what to say. Fuck her and her rationality. Fuck her and her beautiful voice. Fuck her and her perfect body. Fuck her and her dark, endless eyes. Fuck her!

A furious howl ripped out of my being and I pulled over to the side of the road. I couldn't keep driving, not like this. I could barely see in front of me with how wet my eyes were. I screamed again and slammed my head onto the steering wheel. I pulled my hair. What could I do?

I found myself digging in my purse for my PearPhone. Once I retrieved it, I dialed a number I hadn't dialed in ages, one that never needed to be dialed because it was always number one on my speed dial. I called Beck.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Beck, it's Jade," I croaked, trying to hide that fact that I couldn't stop crying.

"I know, I have caller ID. Why are you calling? I thought you hated me."

"This is going to sound crazy, but I kind of need your assistance."

"You mean you need my help," he clarified. Smartass.

I groaned. "Yes." I swallowed my tears, my pride, and the frog stuck in my throat. "Please?"

"Where are you, because I know you can't still be at school?" There he was. The Beck I knew. The Beck that, no matter what, would stay calm and collected. The Beck that would do anything to help another, even if he didn't like that person very much. The Beck that used to love me, but has moved on.

"I'm a few blocks away from the school. I-I didn't get very far." I hiccupped and bit my lip to silence anymore that would attempt to escape. My lip was never going to heal.

He sighed audibly. "I'll be there soon." With that, he hung up.

I took a deep breath and removed my keys from the ignition. I then received a text from Cat.

Cat: You're not mad at me for asking out Shiloh, right?

I sighed and typed back.

Me: No

Cat: Then why were you being so mean to me?

Me: I was caught off guard, Cat

Cat: You basically called me a whore in front of all our friends!

I flinched. Cat never swore. I must've really upset her. God, I was terrible friend.

Me: I'm sorry, Cat

Cat: Sorry? You're sorry?

Me: Yes?

Cat: You shouldn't be apologizing to me, Jade. You should apologize to Shiloh. And to yourself!

Me: Myself?

Cat: Yes! You should feel sorry for constantly lying to yourself.

Me: Cat, what are you talking about?

Cat: It doesn't matter anymore. You lost your chance. Shiloh is mine now.

Before I could begin to reply, there was a tap on my window. I jumped and turned to see Beck standing there with a sad face. I had a déjà vu moment to back when he and I were the hostile ones and Shiloh was the one running to calm my fury. Everything was so mixed up now.

I grabbed my purse, put the keys and phone back in it, and climbed out of the car. I locked it and followed him to his truck. He opened the passenger door for me and I hopped inside.

Once he joined me, he turned the truck back on and started driving.

I was waiting for him to say something, anything. I know he saw my tear streaked face. I know he saw my running make-up. I know he saw the blood stains on my hands. Why wasn't he saying anything? I realized he was waiting for me to talk, to explain to him why I needed his help.

"Beck," I choked, trying to find my voice. "Am I a bad person?" I asked.

"Yes," he stated bluntly.

I stared at him.

"You're a bad person as of now. Shiloh put her heart out there for you and you stepped on it. Worse, when she turned around and accepted Cat's offer to date, you turned into a bigger bitch than I could imagine. Last week, you, Cat, and Shiloh were the best of friends. Now they're dating and you're being crueler to them than you've ever been. So, yes, you are a bad person, Jade."

I looked down and my hands and hugged myself. "How do I fix this, Beck?"

"I can't tell you anything I hadn't already suggested while we were together. You were the one always pissed that I tried to 'change' you, now you're asking me how you should change?" He glanced at me then back at the road.

"I'm not going to turn into a nicer person, Beck."

"I know. You're who you are. You're the most honest person I know. Sure, you may be blunt and crude, but you're still honest. And you don't care what other people think about you. With you, there were never any secrets."

I cupped my face in my hands and started crying again.

Beck parked the truck. I peaked out the window to see we were at his RV. We exited the truck and went inside.

Beck handed me a bottle of water and sat down next to me on his couch, a place where I used to sleep frequently whenever I was fighting with my parents and didn't want to burden Cat.

I wiped the tears away and took a sip of water.

"Did I say something?" Beck asked, wondering what trigger was pulled for me to start crying like that.

"I lied," I whispered.

"What?"

"I lied!" I shouted at him, standing up to pace the floor. "When we were together, I lied through my teeth. Not about everything, but about one thing in particular. It wasn't really a lie, more of a secret. It was just something I never told you. But unlike you being born in Canada, this was something no one else knew, no one but Cat. And Shiloh, maybe." I sighed and sat down on his bed, a place where I could recall many heated moments that never were because of what I was about to tell him. "Beck, I'm, I might be, I think I'm, I'm not attracted to men. I'm only attracted to women," I whispered it, hoping if it couldn't be heard, that it couldn't be true.

But Beck heard it. He heard every word. Because he listened. He always did. He choked on a laugh and muttered to himself, "Would have been nice to know this three years ago." He stood up and walked over to me before pulling me off his bed and into a hug. "I'm so sorry I never noticed. I must've been a terribly oblivious boyfriend."

I laughed in his embrace and mumbled, "That or I'm just really good at hiding things."

"Unless you're trying to hide your anger or jealousy," he added with a light-hearted laugh. He kissed the top of my forehead and suggested, "Why don't I take you back to your car now that you seem capable of driving?"

I smiled weakly and said, "I'd like that."

We reached my car in no time. Before we parted, we shared another smile. "Thank you, Jade, I didn't want to attend my last class anyway," he joked as I exited the vehicle. "Good luck with whatever you decide to do," he called out before driving back to his RV.

I got into my car and drove to Cat's. As expected, Shiloh's car was parked on the curb. I pulled up in front of her car and parked. I used what was left of the water in the water bottle Beck had given me to wash my hands and face. Once I was cleaned up, I was ready to go in and apologize to my two best friends.

When I knocked on the door, Cat's mother answered. She groaned, "What do you want, Jade?" She tapped her foot impatiently.

I forced a polite smile and said, "I'm here to see my friends, Cat and Shiloh."

She rolled her eyes and said, "They're upstairs," before welcoming me in and shutting the door. I could've sworn I heard her mumble something behind my back as she walked away.

I brushed it off and walked up the stairs and to Cat's bedroom. Not expecting to see what I was going to, I casually opened the door.

And there they were. The two were making out on top of Cat's bed. Surprisingly, Cat was on top. More surprisingly, neither noticed me standing there.

I felt invisible, like a ghost. My heart sank. I chewed on my destroyed lip, closed to door, and walked back down the stairs. I was keeping my cool, at least until I got back inside of my car. Really, I shouldn't be pissed about what I saw. The two were dating now. But even so, I could feel my heart breaking all over again.

I took a deep breath and turned the radio back on, continuing the song I turned off earlier.

"No, this is not your playground it's my heart!
We were stupid, we got caught!
Nothing matters anymore.
So, what? Here we are, Juggernaut!"

I turned it off and found myself screaming at it, "Stop mocking me!" Growling, I sped of to my house.

My mother paid me no mind when I stormed into the house and slammed the door shut behind me. She continued to read the book she had in her hands as she was curled up on the couch. It was then I got an idea. I was going to forget about this, the same way I would forget about a lot of my problems.

I texted Beck.

Me: Be at my house in about ten minutes.

Beck: Okay?

I went back outside and walked across the street to the guitar player/ex-con's house. I knocked on it and he opened to door with a surprised smile on his face.

"Jade, I haven't seen you in a while. Not since you and your boy broke up. How can I help you?" He leaned against the doorway and looked me up and down, making sure I wasn't here as a threat.

I took out my wallet and pulled out a hundred dollar bill, handing it to him. "Green," is all I said.

He nodded and looked back at the money. "Hmm, money sure does talk. And this money says a lot. Wait right there. I'll be back in a second." He scurried into the back of his house, leaving the door ajar.

I tapped my foot impatiently and waited for him to come back.

After must more than a second, he returned with a Ziploc bag filled with what he called, "the good stuff."

"Pleasure doing business with you," I said upon taking the bag from him.

"Any time," he said before closing the door.

I walked back across the street and waited for Beck.

He pulled up exactly ten minutes after I had sent the text. The boy had good timing. He climbed out of his truck and walked over to me. "Why am I here?" he asked.

I rose up the bag as an answer and he nodded his head. We snuck around to my backyard and into my shed. He sat down on the tattered couch while I picked open a jammed drawer on the end table next to him. Once I got it open, I pulled out a bone shaped pipe and handed it and the weed to Beck.

He took it happily and broke apart a nug into the bowl. He took out his trusty Zippo and hovered it over the corner of the bowl as he inhaled. Upon exhaling, he smirked and said, "That's the good stuff."

I nodded and took the piece from him to take my own hit.

We continued passing it back and forth until we had smoked a good three bowls out of it.

Beck laughed and said, "It's been a while since we've done this."

"Together, maybe," I stated, "but while hanging with Shiloh, this was an everyday thing."

"I know, I smoked with her a few times," he commented.

I raised my pierced eyebrow and asked, "Oh really? When?"

"Well," he started, "last time we smoked it was last week. She skipped her math class and I skipped Spanish. We met up in my truck and hot boxed it."

I scoffed. "What? You're kidding me, right?" I asked in disbelief. Even I never smoked on campus.

He kept laughing and said, "Nope!"

I slumped in my seat and looked at him. "Wait a second, you never allowed me to smoke in your truck," I growled playfully, too high to actually get mad at him. For that, he was lucky.

"That's because I didn't start smoking in the truck until after we broke up," he muttered. "Remember, whenever we toked on the road it was in your car?" He elbowed me.

I rolled my eyes and said, "Yeah, I remember."

It was quiet for a bit until Beck started humming. Worse, he was humming the song that continued to mock me.

"Why are you humming that?" I groaned, slinging my arm over my face and draping it across my eyes.

"Humming what?" he asked, pretending to play dumb.

"Here We Are Juggernaut by Coheed and Cambria. Why are you humming that?"

"Oh, because it makes me think of you," he stated.

I groaned again. "Why?" I whined.

"Because a juggernaut is an overwhelming, unstoppable force that crushes everything in its path, like you. You're unstoppable," he explained.

"And I'm also overwhelming and crush everything in my path, right?" I asked, taking offense now.

"Not necessarily. More like, you crush anything standing in the way of what you want." He laughed to himself. "Just please don't crush Cat. You and I both know you'll regret it."

I shook my head. That was the last thing I was thinking about. I would never hurt Cat. Who would? Hell, who could? Even I wasn't that heartless. Of course my mind wondered back to scene I walked in on and I'd be lying if I said it didn't irk me knowing Cat had what I wanted.

I pulled out my PearPhone a reread her last message.

Cat: It doesn't matter anymore. You lost your chance. Shiloh is mine now.

I put it away and sang to myself.

"Nothing matters anymore."

Beck took my hand and sang the last line with me.

"So, what? Here we are, Juggernaut!"