13: He Speaks! AKA. Session! (TRBHPTE)

A week later:

"So did you hear Rachel's dads are out of town this weekend? She should have a party!" I said excitedly.

"Yeah but dude, it's Rachel. She's way too much of a prude to have a party." Puck said.

"Hmmm that's true… Well maybe you need to give a dose of the oul Puckerman charm; Flirt with her" I said.

"Ok! It's true. No one can resist Puckzilla! We're havin' a party!" He said confidently before walking out of the cafeteria in search of Rachel.

/

Rachel's House:

Blaine, Sugar and I were sitting on a couch in the corner of Rachel's basement.

The whole glee club was here, scattered around the room, being very quiet. Sam was sitting with Santana.

"This is terrible" I whispered.

"At least there's booze!" Sugar said.

"Sugar, its two wine coolers each… That might be fine for you but that won't even get me tipsy. I'm not exactly a twig; I need more drink" I said.

"This is Rachel's party. We have to follow her rules, unfortunately" Blaine aid.

"Uh-Blaine, look" Sugar said, pointing to the stairs, where Rachel was guiding Kurt into the room.

"Oh no. This is gonna be awkward… Now definitely I need more drinks" He said, slouching into the couch.

"I'll try get some." I said before standing up and walking over to Puck and Lauren.

"Hey Puck, can I've a word?" I asked.

"Sure what's up dude?" He said as we walked over to another part of the room.

"This party is really shit… Any chance you could convince Rachel to let us have more drink?" I asked him.

"Well I can try dude, but to tell you the truth, I didn't even think my flirting convinced her to have a party. I think something else made her… But I'll try!" He said before walking over to Rachel.

/

Whatever Puck said worked, cause we're all pissed! Well, except Finn and Kurt; designated drivers.

We were all dancing around and enjoying the party. Almost everyone seemed to be in a good mood! Except Sam, who from what I could see was just kinda moping, and Kurt, who was lightly dancing and staring at Blaine.

"Hey Kurt… It's been a while" I said.

"Hi Ryan, yes it has been a while… How have you been?" He asked timidly.

"I've been ok… I dunno if you know but Sam broke up with me… I'm ok though… How come you're not drinking? Isn't Finn bringing you home?" I asked.

"I'm sorry to hear about you and Sam. You were a good pair… To be honest, I'm not drinking because I want to impress Blaine; can't get too sloppy." He said.

I sighed.

"Kurt, can I give you some advice? You need to move on. Blaine knows you're sorry, but you can't take back what you did. I know how you feel… The longing looks from afar… I do that with Sam… But I can't waste my life pining over someone. I need to move on. I still love Sam and a part of me always will, but I have to move on. You need to do the same… Try and be Blaine's friend instead of a boyfriend, because that's what Blaine wants… I don't want to sound harsh but I'd like to think that we're still friends, and I'm only saying this to try and help you" I said.

"Thanks Ryan. I'm glad you can still call me a friend… Now get me a vodka and diet coke stat!" He said somewhat sadly yet urgently.

/

I was dancing around for another while, mingling with everyone when I heard Finn make yet another annoyingly obnoxious speech to Rachel, something about drunk girl archetypes.

"Sorry for cutting you off Finn but I think you're forgetting to explain the drunk guy archetypes… I'll fill you in Rachel; Puck; the 'so used to alcohol it hardly affects him' drunk. Mike; the 'overly horny for his girlfriend' drunk. Artie; the 'guy who turns into a pimp' drunk. Blaine; the 'extremely happy and dancey' drunk. Me; I'm the happy, dancey and very clumsy type while also getting very confident' drunk. Kurt; the 'delirious, pukey' drunk. Sam; I'm assuming the 'depressed' drunk. And from what I hear, Mr Hudson here is a weepy hysterical drunk!"

"Thank you for that Ryan." Rachel said before Finn continued with insulting Rachel.

"Let's play Spin the Bottle! Spin the Bottle!" She shouted.

/

Everyone is seriously pissed…

We've been enjoying spin the bottle for a few minutes now. I've kissed Santana, Brittany, Quinn, Tina, Puck, Kurt, and Finn (ugh). Puck has kissed Artie, Blaine, Sugar, Santana, Rachel, Mercedes and Sam (awkward). Basically everyone is kissing everyone and we're all too drunk to care.

"Dudes I've got a great idea! Let's turn this into 7 minutes in heaven!" Puck said to a collection

"How do you play that? I've never done that before!" I said.

"Dude its simple. Spin the bottle, then go into the closet and have 7 minutes in heaven with whoever it lands on!" Puck said.

Puck spun the bottle and it landed on Blaine.

They hopped up and went into the closet to a collection and wolf whistles, 'oohs' and 'ahs'.

That's weird… Shouldn't that be me going in there with one of them? I mean, I got there first! Wow, I'm a slut… I've kissed all three of my best friends… What am I even thinking? Don't be stupid Ryan; they can kiss whoever they want… I'm not with any of them. Shake off the jealousy! It's just cause you're very, very drunk.

/

Blaine stumbled into the small, sweet smelling closet behind Puck.

"Dude this is working out really well! This will help with the plan!" Puck said happily.

"Yeah I suppose but I still feel bad. It feels like we're plotting behind Ryan's back" Blaine said sadly.

"But we're not! We're simply doing what we can to test if Ryan likes you too!" He said.

"I know but I feel shady" Blaine said.

"Dude, Ryan kissed you back that night. He kissed you and stayed in your bed with you and you cuddled! He likes you. You know what he said to me a few weeks back in the cafeteria; he still likes Sam but he wants to move on. He doesn't want to hurt either you or me. But I still think he likes you. When he's not looking at Sam, he's looking at you. I notice these things. He may not realise it yet, but I really do think he wants you. I want you guys to be happy and he might just need a little push to get there." He said confidently.

"I really like him. But what if he doesn't like me back?" Blaine asked sadly.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Let's make sure Ryan notices you first. He'll probably get jealous with you and me both being in here. I actually have a plan. It'll definitely make Ryan notice you." Puck said confidently. "You should kiss a girl. Be bi-curious."

"But I don't want to kiss a girl…" Blaine said.

"If Ryan likes you, he'll definitely get jealous!" Puck said.

"Yeah ok, you're right." Blaine said, slightly wary.

"Ok dude, there's 3 minutes left… Wanna makeout? We're still both single and we may as well actually do what we want Ryan to think" Puck said, winking.

Blaine paused before continuing… "Ok but just a little".

/

I was slow dancing with Sugar while we were waiting for Puck and Blaine to return form the closet.

Why the hell am I bothered by this? I feel all depressed… Maybe I'm just lonely.

"Back to the game!" Mike shouted as Puck and Blaine emerged from the closet; Blaine's hair extremely dishevelled.

What the fuck! Ugh I thought he was embarrassed by that hair! I was the only one that saw it!

We all sat back down into the circle. It was Sam's turn to spin the bottle. It spun and spun for what seemed like forever before it slowed down and pointed at me…

Holy shit.

We looked up at each other awkwardly before everyone started screaming and wolf whistling again. Sam stood up and walked slowly to the closet. I stayed in place for a moment before being pushed up by Mike.

/

I walked in and closed the door quietly behind me.

"Well this is awkward" I said before sitting down on the ground.

Sam sat down as well.

We sat in an awkward silence for about a minute or so.

"I'm so so sorry Ryan" Sam said sadly.

"What the fuck. You talked?" I said, eyes widening in shock. "How drunk are you right now?" I asked.

"I drank a lot. Ryan, I'm so sorry for putting you through all this. I wish I could tell you why but I can't." He said with tears in his eyes.

"You're actually talking to me. Why can't you tell me why? What did I do wrong?" I asked him.

"You did nothing wrong! I can't tell you because it'll be easier for you this way. I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have." He said, slightly sobbing.

"I've been miserable for months! How is this anyway easier? I've had to deal with being ignored for so long now. I was miserable for Christmas, New Year's and Valentines. So tell me again, how the fuck is this easier?" I asked, angrily.

"Ryan I'm so sorry. I hate myself for doing this to you, but I can't explain it. Please just trust me in saying that it's easier this way. I wish things were different." He said crying.

I began to tear up as well.

I noticed how close our bodies were to each other. We both leaned in and kissed each other, almost desperately clinging on for dear life.

Sam broke the kiss, leaned in and hugged me tightly, still crying.

"I missed that" I said sobbing.

"Me too… I'm so sorry Ryan. I wish things were different, I really do" He said.

We let go and sat apart again.

"Ok… I wish you could tell me why. But at least now I know that I'm not the reason. For the last few months, I thought I was the one who had done something wrong to make you leave me. I love you Sam, I don't think I'll ever stop loving you. But I can't keep doing this to myself. It's not fair. I have to move on. I can't wait for you to get drunk again so you can tell me why. I just can't keep holding on to this." I said seriously, trying hard to keep it together.

"I wish you didn't have to do that. But it's for the best. I want you to be happy. I love you so much Ryan, I wish I could be the one who makes you happy but I can't. I wish I could explain. But I will always love you. Don't ever doubt that" He said, tears flowing from his eyes.

"So what happens now? Are we gonna at least talk to each other? Or is it easier to just go back to ignoring each other." I asked sadly.

"I don't think I can talk to you. It hurts too much" He said.

We were brought out of our little zone when we heard a bang on the door.

"Get out! You've been in there for 20 minutes!" Santana whispered loudly.

We jumped up and walked out of the closet quickly.

"Sorry! Sam was feeling sick! He needed to lie down for a few minutes!" I said quickly before leaving.

/

An hour later:

I was dancing happily with Sugar and Santana.

I'm actually having fun. I feel good; actually talking to Sam. On one hand, its shit… But still, I feel like I've at least gotten closure. And I was being honest with Sam. I'm moving on. And I want to move on with someone else. I don't want to be this sad loner anymore. I just hope that we'll at least be able to talk to each other and be friends again eventually.

"What the fuck!" Santana shouted before grabbing my head and pointing my face towards a sight I thought I'd never see; Blaine was kissing Rachel.

"What the fuck!" I repeated, shocked.

I feel angry, really fucking angry. Why is he kissing Rachel! He's gay! I'm gonna go say something… No wait Ryan, don't say anything. You can't let people know you're gay. You're already drunk enough, don't embarrass yourself!

/

I woke up the next day feeling exhausted and like I'd been hit by a truck. Thankfully I wasn't sick at least.

I couldn't help but constantly go over the previous night's events in my head. So much had happened.

Why do I keep thinking about Blaine kissing Rachel? Why is this bothering me so much? I need to go talk to him.

/

I arrived at Blaine's house a while later. A very rough looking Blaine answered the door after five minutes of ringing the doorbell.

"Ryan, what are you doing here so early?" Blaine asked, looking confused.

"I just thought we could talk" I said calmly.

"Oh-uh ok, I have a killer headache. Can we talk while I lie on my bed?"

/

Blaine lay on his bed while I sat beside him. I had just told him about Sam.

"I'm worried about him. Do you think he's in trouble? It sounds fishy." Blaine asked.

"I dunno, but I'm not gonna focus on it. Last night was my closure. Now I wanna stop being a sad loner and move on. If I find a guy, then great, if not, then I'm gonna be a single pringle, and proud!" I said.

Blaine smiled. "You have any guys in mind? he asked.

"Um I dunno really. Haven't thought that far yet" I replied.

Well, maybe I have just a little…

"Anyways, I wanted to talk to you about something else. Do you remember last night? You were kissing Rachel, a lot." I said as calmly as possible.

"Um yeah I remember, she asked me on a date this morning. I think I'm gonna say yes." He said a little awkwardly.

"Wait, what? Since when do you like girls? You're gay Blaine!" I said, shocked.

"It felt good when we kissed" He said softly.

"That's because you were drunk. So does this mean that it didn't feel good when we kissed? Cause we never went on a date" I said, somewhat angrily.

"No Ryan, it did feel good. Look, I don't know; I was drunk. My head is killing me. I don't know what I'm gonna do with Rachel. I'm sorry if that offends you. Why do you care so much?" He said sadly.

"It doesn't matter. Do it if you want. I just thought you were sure of who you were, someone to look up to and aspire to be like. It's your life, it doesn't matter. I have to go. I'll talk to you on Monday. Take an aspirin and take loads of water. It'll help"

I left quickly and began the walk home.

I have no right to go and give out to Blaine about who he likes or kisses… Why do I care so much?

/

As soon as Ryan left, Blaine sat up and sent a text to Puck.

I think your plan worked. I think he likes me too :-)

A/N:

This chapter was really hard to write. I dunno why but it was difficult to decide exactly how to write this. But for some reason, I had to get the chapter out there and I couldn't focus on studying for my exams till I did, so here we are :P

I'll be back with the next chapter on the 15th, if not sooner!