The next day was the beach party. The night before Castiel stumbled back into the room, his head clouded from emotional exhaustion. He woke up the next day, not wanting to crawl out of bed, but his bladder forced him awake. He grumbled out loud on his way to the community restroom. When he neared the door, his morning daze cleared away. Memories of the night before flooded him and made his chest tighten.

Before he could even attempt to empty his bladder, it hit him hard. He ran into the first stall, shoving his head down to the toilet. Everything that was in his stomach left as his panic attack continued. He collapsed against the stall's hard, plastic exterior. He grabbed his head, pulling at his overgrown hair.

"Cas you in here?"

Castiel looked up towards the lights in the ceiling. He took a deep breath and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "F-first stall." He answered. His voice cracked from the bile that made it's way up and out.

Balthazar leaned in the stall doorway. "What is it this time?" He rubbed his eyes. Castiel felt bad for possibly waking his roommate up. "You came in pretty late last night."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. Are you ill?" Balthazar eyed the toilet where Castiel's bodily content was.

"Panic attack." Castiel mumbled, reaching over to flush the toilet and remove the evidence.

"Oh." Balthazar stood awkwardly, wanting to help his roommate out, but there was only so much he could do. "Come on, Cas. Let's get you cleaned up." Balthazar grabbed Castiel's arm, but Castiel pulled away, refusing the help.

"I'll be fine. You can go." A few moments later Balthazar left the bathroom. Castiel stood from his place on the floor and finished his original plan for the bathroom. He made his way back to his room and fell into his bed, pulling his blanket over his body before Balthazar could say anything.

"Are you still up for the party today?" Balthazar stood at the edge of Castiel's small bed and tugged at the blanket. Castiel held on tight.

"No."

"Well, too bad. You're going. I don't know what happened between you and Dean, but you need to get out more. Find a life away from your boyfriend." Balthazar gripped Castiel's blanket tightly and pulled it away from the grouchy boy. "So get up and take a shower. We're getting food and then heading to the beach." He clapped his hands together after throwing the blanket off to the corner of the room.

"Fine." Castiel didn't want to bring up the fact that Dean wasn't exactly his boyfriend anymore, or at least he wasn't if they were giving each other space. He thought about it and came to the conclusion that he wouldn't be surprised if Dean moved on to bigger better things. It was time to get up and move on as well, even if it was just moving on with the day.

Everything moved slowly the rest of the day. Castiel knew it was because he refused to enjoy anything at the party. He refused every drink he was offered. He didn't even sit around people. The sun was hot on his skin and his shirt clung to his chest from the sweat. He was glad when the sun finally set below the horizon.

"Come on, Cassie! Live a little!" Balthazar shoved a drink into Castiel's hands. The liquid sloshed over onto his hand. He set the cup down, ignoring protests from both Balthazar and Meg who wanted him to party with them.

"Clarence, forget about your troubles! Drink up!" Meg sloshed another cup Castiel's way, but he declined the drink, setting it down next to the other full cup.

"I do not think drinking will help me in this situation I am in." Castiel got up from his sitting position on the picnic table. He hopped into the sand and left his drunken friend behind. He wasn't really a drinker, or a partier for that matter. He pushed his way through the crowd of people on the beach, dancing around the bon fire and jumping in and out of the cold waves. When he pushed past the last string of people, near the end of the crowd, his arm was grabbed.

He turned to face the person who grabbed him and his heart stopped racing when he realized it was Benny Lafitte. "Hey, Castiel. Where are you off to?" Benny asked, his hand letting go of Castiel's arm. Castiel nudged his head over to the abandoned part of the beach. "I'll join you, brother." Benny helped Castiel through the last part of the crowd and they were off to a more secluded part of the beach away from the loud party.

"I had to get out of there." Castiel breathed. He found a spot to sit on a large piece of driftwood. He kicked his shoes off and dug his feet into the sand. No matter how much he hated the water, the sand was relaxing.

"Clear your head?" Benny sat down in the sat next to him, also kicking his shoes off. "I get it. Sometimes everything is so overwhelming." Benny shrugged, leaning back on his palms in the sand. He stared out into the dark across the ocean. Castiel did the same, understanding what Benny meant as overwhelming. The vast space in front of him engulfed him.

"Sometimes I do not know what to do." Castiel mumbled, pressing his palms to his eyes. He rubbed away the oncoming emotions.

"With Dean?" Benny asked. Castiel nodded. "I figured. I kind of overheard you guys fighting yesterday."

"I'm sorry." Castiel apologized. He didn't know how loud they got the night before. He forgot momentarily that Benny lived below Dean's apartment.

"Don't be. Dean was being unreasonable, but I understand the whole space thing. It happens with couples." Benny clapped Castiel on the shoulder, reassuring the younger student.

"I don't understand it." Castiel confessed.

"Dean needing space?"

"Yes. I feel like I have lost him." Castiel leaned forward and dragged a finger through the sand, creating a pattern. "It was bound to happen. I tend to push people away."

He ran his hand over the design, wiping the image clean and stared over.

Benny cleared his throat. "He will come around." Benny was sure of it. He hadn't known the two for very long, but he knew that they would stay together. "He just needs to clear his head. Same thing your doing right?" Benny motioned to Castiel sitting and staring out into the dark sea. "Just in a different way."

"I don't know." Castiel mumbled. "I thought that with both of us here, in California, away from all the bad things back home, would be better. But all it has been is drama left and right." His shoulders slumped as he realized how true his words were. North Carolina was filled with family drama and then there was Alastair. He thought things would be much different across the country, and he was sadly mistaken.

"Well, without drama, there is not point to living. Who wants to lead a calm life?" Benny sat up and got up from the sand. He wiped his shorts free of sand and lent a hand to Castiel to help him up.

Castiel declined. "I think I will sit here for a little longer. You can go back to the party." Benny nodded, giving Castiel a short nod before heading back to the crowd. Castiel sat there and stared out into the ocean. He wished Dean was with him right then, but maybe Benny was right. Dean just needed to clear his head. He would come back around.

Just like Dean had told his brother, Sam, he had asked for those days off of work to go back home and have a normal life for a while. Rufus, who was Bobby's friend, and Dean's boss, gave him the days and then some. Dean managed to get nearly a month off of work at the mechanic shop. Rufus told him to enjoy his stay at home. But there were two weeks until Dean could leave. Two more weeks of work, and then he was set free on the road to make the adventure across the country back to North Carolina.

Dean hadn't heard from Castiel since the fight. The idea of being on bad terms bugged him to no end, but he pushed Castiel away, it was the least he expected. But the two weeks without him made Dean think. "Come on, answer, Cas." Dean held his phone to his ear, but for the third time that day, he didn't get through and the phone went straight to voicemail. He left another message. "Hey, so I really wanted to talk to you. I'm heading home for a while. Cas, I'm sorry. I know I said this before in the other messages I left, but I messed up and I don't want to leave on bad terms. When you get this call me. I'll be driving for a few days, but I will get back to you." He shut his phone and threw his back into the backseat of the impala. He got into the drivers seat and stuck the key in the ignition. His 'baby' came to life and it was only home from there.

Two weeks.

Two weeks was enough space, right?

Well that's what Castiel believed to be enough space. He had cleared his thoughts and hoped that Dean had too. The bus ride was short since it was a Sunday and most of the college students in town were still sleeping. Castiel hoped that Dean would be awake. He would feel bad if he woke up his love because he was selfish and needed to see him.

They hadn't spoken in two weeks. It was hard since Castiel lost his phone and had yet to get a new one. Castiel also remembered that he had called Gabriel, but left the conversation hanging. He borrowed Balthazar's phone to call and let him in on the details. Basically, all that was needed was space. There was no breakup. Benny made that clear on the night of beach party. Dean would come around. Though, when two weeks passed and Castiel hadn't heard from Dean or see him around town, he got worried and caved. Now he was on the bus, nervously tapping his fingers on his thighs as the large vehicle rolled to stop in front of Dean's apartment complex.

He got off the bus and immediately looked for the impala. It was nowhere in site. Even when Castiel walked over to the normal parking spots for the building, it wasn't there. Which meant Dean wasn't home. "Maybe he's working?" Castiel wondered. Dean did work strange hours. He could have been working. Castiel silently cursed at himself for losing his phone. He would be able to just call Dean and ask.

"His work isn't far away." Castiel told himself, turning in the direction of the mechanic shop Dean worked at. It was only about a fifteen-minute walk from the apartment. There was no need for the bus, and it would take another thirty minutes for it to come back to the same stop. Walking was the smartest solution. Though, when Castiel neared the shop, the Impala wasn't there either.

He stepped inside the small office area. There was a silver bell for assistance on the countertop begging to be rung. Before Castiel could lay his hand on it, a man, with dark chocolate skin, came out from the back room and glared at him. "I hate that thing." He said, grabbing the bell and placing it down on the lower portion of the desk. "How can I help you, son?" The man looked Castiel up and down.

Castiel gulped, intimidated by the man. "I-I was wondering it Dean Winchester was working today?" Castiel looked into the shop, but realized that the man before him was the only one working.

"Dean? Oh you didn't hear?" The man grabbed a toothpick from his shirt pocket and stuck it into his mouth. "Dean left for North Carolina."

Castiel's heart dropped in his chest. "He did?" He gulped down the bile rising in his throat. Dean left. He went home. He left California. Did he need more space? How much space was needed? Apparently Dean needed an entire country's space.

"Yeah. Wanted to get away, I guess." The man chewed on the wooden sliver in his mouth. "I've got his number here if you want to give him a call." He pulled out a slip of paper and wrote down Dean's number. Castiel knew the number by heart, but accepted it anyways. He thanked the man and slowly made his way back to the street.

He stared up at the sun, feeling the rays burn his cheeks. His relationship with Dean consisted of each other running away from things. Castiel didn't blame Dean; after all, he did the same thing when he disappeared to Kansas.