14

The Meaning of Family

Soubi's final class was nearly over at last. He'd been forced to listen for the past hour since Ritsuka had gone with Katsuko to do therapy. To say the least, he missed his little Sacrifice and was eager to get back to the hospital as soon as possible. He filled multiple pages with doodles of Ritsuka instead of taking notes, and he almost forgot to record the second class so he could review later. He was anxious to see little Ritsuka again. He'd seemed to be feeling better when they'd chatted on the computer. Tomorrow he might be up to seeing his friends again. Ritsuka had asked him to go to Yuiko's house and tell her that Ritsuka was currently hospitalized.

That was where he was headed now, after, of course, going to Ritsuka's school to get his homework and talk to the teachers about Natsuo and Youji. He'd been mulling something over lately, something that stemmed from the comment Katsuko had made about his apartment being small. Right now, three people lived in an apartment meant for only one person. Ritsuka would be moving in, too, and Kio as well. That apartment was too small for a family this size.

Soubi added a small doodle of a house off to the side of his paper as the teacher announced the homework. Hanabi-san, an aspiring manga artist and acquaintance of Soubi's, watched, not even taking down notes herself. It was a strange concept to Soubi since he never had a family before. He'd never really thought about it either since he always thought that he would always be someone else's belonging. He never thought his life would've taken the turn that he it did, that he'd wind up with someone who saw him as 'Soubi', and not 'Beloved' or 'that blank Fighter'. He'd always thought of himself as a belonging, especially after his time with Seimei, time that he thought would never end.

Soubi smiled, stopping on that moment for a bit. That was how the saying went: 'you don't know what you have until it's gone'. That usually meant that one didn't realize what a great thing they had until it was gone. Not in this case. Until Seimei was gone, Soubi hadn't realized that he wanted that time with Seimei to end until it did. When his master had 'died' and Soubi had gone to Ritsuka, he had an awakening of some sort. At that point, Seimei had beaten almost all of the 'person' out of him and simple made him a personality-less tool, a vessel. Nothing more. But Ritsuka, oh, Ritsuka! He had taken that little sliver of 'person' and made Soubi build on that until there was no more room left. Yes, he was no longer a vessel, but a real person, just like Ritsuka, Natsou, Youji, and Kio.

"Agatsuma-san," Hanabi tapped Soubi on the shoulder lightly, whispering to him, neither of them paying any attention to the rambling teacher. "Who's that boy you're drawing? He's not your son

Soubi tried hard not to laugh. Ritsuka? His son? Just the thought brought some sort of morbid humor to his mind. Hanabi-san had no idea what she was implying. Soubi didn't snap at her for asking for that reason, but it was still humorous and brought back Soubi's burning disdain for that wretched man.

"No, no," Soubi replied quietly. "His name is Ritsuka. It's…complicated." He really couldn't describe their relationship in one word and he couldn't say much more without making her suspicious.

"Isn't Ritsuka a girls' name?" Hanabi-san stared at Soubi's notebook, looking over the multiple sketches. "Does he live with you?"

Soubi nodded, even though that was technically a lie. Ritsuka didn't live with it yet, but he would, even if it meant using spells to sway whoever decided. That's how much he loved Ritsuka. He would put himself through any amount of danger for Ritsuka. Using a mind control spell would weaken Soubi's physical strength, but it was also deemed illegal by the Septimal Moon Council. They threw Fighters in prison for that sort of thing, though they might go easy on him since he worked for them, even if all he did was finances and paper work.

Trying to be quiet, Soubi slipped Hanabi-san the picture of Ritsuka he kept in his wallet. "He's thirteen." Too young for this to be happening to him.

"He's adorable!" Hanabi held up the picture. "Oh, can I meet him some day? I'd love to draw him!"

Soubi nodded again, smiling a little. Ritsuka was going to come live with him. He was finally going to have someone who loved him and cared about him.

…

"Yuiko, get the door!"
Soubi stood outside the door of Yuiko-chan's apartment, impatiently waiting for either Yuiko or Hawatari-san, her mother, to come to the door. He could hear her mother yelling to get the door, and then the padding of feet, something that made him think of Ritsuka. Was the boy okay? Would he be happy if Soubi told Yuiko she could visit him at the hospital? It'd be a nice surprise for him. It was probably good for him to see kids his own age, not just Soubi, Kio, Koichi-san, and Katsuko-sensei.

Soubi checked his phone, making sure he hadn't missed calls from anyone. He wished that Kiyoshi hadn't destroyed Ritsuka's cell. That man had shattered Ritsuka's phone, the only link Ritsuka had to Soubi when he was away, probably right in front of the boy too, just to make him feel like there was no hope of Soubi coming to save him. Kiyoshi had most likely found the tracker and planted it somewhere to deter Soubi. He'd have to get the boy a new phone now. That wasn't a problem; of course, it just angered him that Kiyoshi would break something important to Ritsuka.

Actually that wasn't the first time that Kiyoshi had done something like that. It was the third. First it was Ritsuka's progress report, something the teen had been excited to show to his parents, expecting a simple 'good job' or a pat on the head, nothing extravagant or undeserved, just an acknowledgement that he had done well. Kiyoshi had ripped that piece of paper, something that was important to Ritsuka, along with all the hard work that he poured into getting those good marks. The second time was even worse.

Ritsuka had had a picture. It had been a very important photograph, one that held extreme sentimental value to him. He had kept it by his bedside, and Soubi often caught him sleeping with it when he came over to say goodnight and saw Ritsuka already asleep. It had been a photograph of just Soubi, alone in his house. That was the only picture Soubi had ever seen Ritsuka frame. Kiyoshi had stolen it out of poor Ritsuka's room and had broken the frame Ritsuka and burned the picture right in front of him.

Soubi would get Ritsuka a new phone, as well as a new phone number, just in case Kiyoshi knew Ritsuka's old phone number. He'd print out another copy of that picture and get it framed, too, since it'd been so important to him.

"Soubi-san!"

Soubi was snapped out of his thoughts when Yuiko threw her arms around suddenly. He pushed her off—gently, of course—and gave her mother a small smile.

"I'm sorry it's late," He apologized to her, having talked to her briefly a few other times. He sometimes took Ritsuka over to Yuiko's apartment so they could hang out together. Ritsuka liked Soubi to stay with them during these times, and Soubi didn't mind since they never ignored him. "I wanted to tell Yuiko-chan why Ritsuka has been out of school. He asked me to come over and tell you all."

"Do come in, Agatsuma-san," Yuiko's mother invited, returning his smile kindly. Soubi nodded, stepping inside the apartment and finding life inside. Yuiko's older sister sat with her father at the kitchen table, working on what Soubi recognized to be calculus. The father was helping her happily, though he got up once Soubi came in.

"Yuiko-chan?"

Yayoi was there too since he came running out of the den looking for his crush. Soubi couldn't help but to feel terribly out of place here. He was glad Ritsuka wasn't with him. This family was loving and caring. The father was openly showing affection to his wife, kissing her on the cheek and putting an arm around her shoulders for a moment, before going back to helping his daughter with her homework. If Ritsuka saw this, he'd have an emotional breakdown. It would only remind him of his home life, how his parents had beaten him and the only interaction his mother and father ever had was just fighting.

"Hello," Soubi greeted Yayoi, not daring to venture any further into the apartment.

"What's wrong with Ritsuka-kun?" Yuiko asked, sounding a bit worried, though she clearly had no idea what was going on.

"Ritsuka's in the hospital and he will be there for a couple months," Soubi announced, anxious to get out of there. He still had a couple more things to do before he could go back to the hospital. He had to go to the school and then go back home again, and talk to the Zero boys about going to the hospital tomorrow.

A silence followed Soubi's words, one that made him strangely uncomfortable. Everyone in the room knew Ritsuka and they were all intelligible enough to realize that if a person was in the hospital for months, there was clearly something terribly wrong with them. Ritsuka had been perfectly fine when Soubi had let him go to school after the second incident with his father. If anything, he'd probably just been a little more quiet than usual, but fine in health.

"What's wrong with him, Soubi-san?" Yuiko spoke up; quiet for once, her shrill voice barely more than a whisper. At least the deafening silence had been broken.

Soubi tried to think of a way to say what had happened without giving too much away. He couldn't come right out and say exactly what was wrong—that Ritsuka had been violently raped by his father and countless other men—since Yuiko-chan was still young and innocent, and just like Ritsuka, probably wouldn't understand a lot of what had happened. It only reminded Soubi of how young these children were. They were old enough to understand the basics of sex, but that was about it. Even Ritsuka, who could think like an adult, didn't know much more than that.

"Something happened with his family," Soubi told her in the simplest way he could. He glanced over at her parents, giving them a look that said the story wasn't just what he'd said. He could tell her parents more, but not with her or Yayoi present.

Yuiko's mother quickly sent the two younger kids off to play in another room, and Yuiko's older sister left, retiring to her room to study. The parents looked at Soubi expectantly, though not with the suspicious look that he seemed to get from everyone at the hospital. Still, he was slightly uncomfortable being here. It was as if he was intruding on another family, like his presence alone could cause harm, just as it had done with Ritsuka.

"Ritsuka was…" Soubi began, dropping their gazes and having to stop for a moment. Guilt was laying itself in his mind, clouding over everything, reminding him at every moment that it was his fault that Ritsuka was in the hospital. After a few moments, he somehow found the strength to go on. "Ritsuka was raped."

There. He had said it. Now he wanted to leave. Those three miserable words were thick on his tongue. It was still so hard to comprehend. They were so hard to say, think, or even acknowledge. Now that he said those terrible words, all wanted to do was leave before he destroyed this family as well. He couldn't hide from it. He couldn't make up for it. Soubi wasn't the one who raped the boy, but he didn't protect Ritsuka from it either. For that, he would never forgive himself. Ritsuka had already forgiven him, had already accepted him as his new guardian, had already put his trust in Soubi again, but even though Ritsuka hadn't punished him or even said it was his fault, he still wouldn't forgive himself. He didn't want to forgive himself. Maybe he was a masochist. Maybe he just hated himself. He didn't have a reason, or maybe he had too many. Deep inside, he knew that he wasn't worthy of loving, gentle, innocent little Ritsuka.

Yuiko's parents were awestruck and at a loss for words, just as Soubi had expected them to be. They looked at each other and then at him, neither saying a word. They didn't have to. The shock was evident on their faces, as well as the sympathy. He didn't want their sympathy and neither did Ritsuka.

All Ritsuka had wanted was his friends to come visit him at the hospital, and Soubi was more than willing to grant that request. Sweet Ritsuka. He always had such simple wants and requests, such simple things he asked Soubi to do for him, things like wanting love and wanting him to spend time with him. It was painful to think about, really. He wasn't a normal child; he never received the love or attention that his parents should have given.

It was a strange dream; a weird dream; a dream that made the rest of the nightmares look like kittens and butterflies frolicking in a field of daisies.

The thing that stuck out the most was that it was so vivid. So vivid that it, in fact, could not possibly be a dream. He couldn't have dreamt something like this in a million years even if he tried. It was some sort of defense mechanism Ritsuka's mind went into while the rest of his body shut down and was reduced to only the critical life processes, such as breathing. He didn't realize that he was in a dream. In fact, he didn't even realize that something was off. In this world, the world created in the dark corners of his mind for the sole purpose of welcoming him in and embracing him in the welcoming sanctuary. Here, in this dark place, there were no memories other than the ones it wanted him to have. He had no memories of Soubi here. Soubi did not exist here, and since Ritsuka had no memories of him, there was no one to miss. He couldn't miss what he'd never had.
The first thing he noticed was it was dark. The second thing was that he didn't like the darkness. At that thought, he looked up on instinct and saw stars glittering above him, shining down on him, their dim light bouncing off the translucent 'floor'. It was as if someone had turned on the stars right when he realized that he did not like the darkness. He looked down only to see a clear floor that gave the illusion he was standing on nothing but thin air. Below his feet, the darkness continued, and as he looked around, stars flickered on, millions of them, diminishing most of the darkness with their beautiful, dim light. The stars were all around him, above and below, left and right, destroying the darkness with their dull light. Ritsuka, always being the curious type, took a few cautious steps forward, expecting to fall right though, but the nonexistent floor was surprisingly stable.
When the first steps didn't send him sprawling downwards in an abyss, he began running. What he was running to, he did not know. He was only following his conscience. Silently, he ran, feeling a nagging at the back of his head to do something else with his mind, an exercise that Ritsuka did after waking up from a nightmare to grasp that thin string of reality he had left

My name is Aoyagi Ritsuka.

I'm thirteen years old.

I have a mother and a father.

Was that it? Something was wrong. Something was off. He couldn't only know three things about himself. There had to be more. Things were coming back to him, now, foreign memories filling him. They were frightening memories, a man was sliding his hands down Ritsuka's pants and grabbing him roughly. Memories of That man kissing him with no remorse and rubbing his hands over that ten-year-old body, Ritsuka's body. No. These couldn't be his memories, right? They felt so…foreign. It was as if they were someone else's memories, not his.

He started to run again, farther and farther away from where he began. He saw two figures in the distance and ran towards them, overjoyed when he realized who they were when he was close enough to see their faces.

"Mommy!" Ritsuka yelled, grinning. "Daddy!" He ran straight to them, even though he recognized his daddy as the man in his memories. Both parents wrapped him in their warm, loving embrace. He felt safe. Safe and loved. He put his head on his daddy's chest, putting an arm around each of his parents. His mother was warm, smiling and whispering 'I love you' to him. His daddy hugged him a little more fiercely, kissing his forehead. Then Ritsuka noticed something out of place. He had his head on his father's chest. He should've been able to hear his heartbeat.

Suddenly, the stars were extinguished and the warm, happy embrace turned cold and critical. Memories rushed to him, of his entire being this time, the memories from before remaining and others building. He could hear his mother's words, her screeching at him on many different occasions, soon joined in by his father and then flashes of showing up at Soubi's apartment, crying and shakily holding an overnight bag, his left eye blackened by one of his parents.

The once loving arms around him moved to around his neck. Four hands, or maybe more, he couldn't tell, wrapped around his neck, holding tightly enough to leave bruises. His eyes went wide, the fingers squeezing the life out of him. He was being killed, slowly, slowly. He found the strength to look down, only to see the hands and the arms supporting them turn into searing hot liquid. Panicking, he whipped his gaze back to his parents, screaming when he saw the skin and muscular tissue being melted off their bodies.

The liquid bubbled and broiled, their bodies boiling hot. He shrieked, both from the scolding liquid and from the sight in front of him. The two forms that were his parents were melting, their skin turning a sickly, metallic gray before it sloughed off them and dripped to the ground. A form was left where their skin had melted into a single form, not two. It was black, with glowing violet eyes, and pointy, widespread demonic wings. Ritsuka ran again, this time in the opposite direction. He ran far, far away from that monster, trying to escape its outstretched claws. He ran and ran, screaming for his mommy and daddy with the monster hot on his heels

The monster caught up with him, encasing him in his sharp talons, holding him down, spreading his legs, and preventing his escape.

…

First there was nothing, then there was something. A feeling, a pull, a something. It was on something Ritsuka could feel in his hand, but in the dreamlike state, couldn't acknowledge. In his mind, he'd just been caught. He found the strength to tear himself away from his dream and in the process, tugging harshly on whatever object was trying to be taken away from him. He pulled it close as his sight and hearing began to haze in, but he still couldn't process anything yet, since he still felt halfway in the dream

A woman and a man were inspecting him, the man shining a light in both his eyes. Ritsuka didn't respond to the light, other than a couple of delayed blinks. He was still partially in the dream, still trying to fight that demon. He was losing those alien memories quickly, though he felt the need to hold onto them. He clung onto the stuffed bear in his arms, refusing to let it go, rocking back and forth. He just wanted Soubi right now. The woman, Katsuko-sensei, said something to him, but Ritsuka wasn't really paying attention.

"W-where's Soubi?" His voice was hoarse and he didn't sound at all like himself. I want Soubi. He could tell Soubi about the dream. He would understand and know what it was like to go through what Ritsuka was experiencing. He didn't know why Soubi always seemed to understand exactly what he felt, and right now, he couldn't wonder.

"Please, please, I really need him," He stuttered, barely able to form a coherent sentence. He felt tears streaming down his cheeks and pressed his face into the bear's fake fur, nuzzling it because it reminded him of Soubi. It even smelt like Soubi since he always had the bear when he would crawl into bed with the man, pressing in between them.

"I'll give him a call, Ritsuka-kun," Katsuko-sensei told him, her face grim as if she had just seen a ghost. Ritsuka just hid his face with his hands, crying hard. That monster had been his father. It hadn't had a heartbeat. It hadn't been human. His father wasn't human. He couldn't be. Ritsuka hadn't done anything to spite him. He'd been a good little boy. He'd cleaned up all his father's messes and stayed out of his way as much as possible. Surely being gay couldn't justify what Kiyoshi had done to him. He couldn't be human because he had done all that for the pure enjoyment of the game.

He felt arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. He didn't struggle, didn't fight, for he knew that it was just Katsuko-sensei. He just cried against her, all-too-easily being able to recall that inhuman man's claws on him, tearing him apart at the seams.

…

Yuiko's mother cleared her throat after a few minutes of shocked silence, exchanging another glance with her husband. "A-Agatsuma-san…I'm terribly sorry. Is Ritsuka—?"

"He's in the hospital right now," Soubi told her again, interrupting her before she could ask 'is Ritsuka okay'. He couldn't answer a question he didn't know the answer to. He wasn't going to give them the answer they wanted to hear, either, since he didn't know if it was right.

"He will be for a while," He continued. "He…he was poisoned, as well. And…he won't be returning home, either. He'll be coming to live with me."

Yuiko's father put an arm around his wife, both looking sad and still very awe struck. The man spoke up this time, after only a few moments of the silence. "Was it someone in his family?"

Soubi nodded, "His father and…other men, too. Anyways, the reason why I came here is… Ritsuka wanted Yuiko to know that won't be attending school for a while. I thought… if Yuiko-chan could come visit him in the hospital, it'd make him happy…"

…

Ritsuka sat in the wheelchair, having calmed down quite a bit. Koichi-san sat with him, Katsuko-sensei having stepped out for a moment to call Soubi. He hoped she could get a hold of him. Soubi was probably done with his classes by now and was most likely finishing up at Yuiko's house. He'd be coming back to the hospital soon. By now, he could hear Katsuko-sensei talking on the phone outside the door, so she must've gotten a hold of Soubi successfully.

Silently, Ritsuka picked up the paintbrush in front of him, holding it carefully in his hand just as he'd seen Soubi do so many times. He dipped it in the dark gray paint that was just off to the side and drew a thin, straight line on the pure, innocent white paper, marking it with that dark line forever. Koichi-san watched him closely as he sat back, looking at what he'd done. He wanted to paint something, but he didn't know what quite yet.

"Ritsuka-san."

Ritsuka looked back up at Koichi-san, his ears perking up at the sound of his name. The man sitting next to him smiled, clearly trying to be cautious. He knows. Ritsuka could tell very well when someone knew what had happened to him. They always acted differently, always being cautious around him and watching what they said; as if the slightest drop of a feather could break the thin glass he stood on, which, as much as he hated to admit it, was probably true. People were right to be careful around him, since he felt as if anything could trigger a breakdown.

"You mention earlier about Soubi-san taking you to the clinic," Koichi-san went on, starting to doodle on his own paper. Ritsuka leaned over with interest, wanting to see what he was drawing.

"What about it?" Ritsuka cocked his head curiously, seeing that Koichi-san was drawing a woman. He turned back to his own marked paper and placed his brush in the water cup, then dried it out and dipped it in the purple paint.

Koichi-san was watching him, now, and he took a moment or so to reply, "Do you get sick very often?"

Ritsuka shook his head, making two little spots of violet on the paper. He paused, examining it, and then made the spots larger and more oval shaped. "I almost never get sick," Ritsuka said, putting his brush in the water again and then turning his gaze to the colors Katsuko-sensei had set out. There were all the primary colors, plus black, white, a couple grays, and brown. She'd also let him have paper towels in case he'd wanted to mix colors. Now he was contemplating how to the mix colors. He was almost certain that Soubi either used a brush or even his fingers, which was usually how Ritsuka ended up with paint all over his arms and face when he went over to Soubi's apartment while he was painting. He didn't want to make a mess and cause Koichi and Katsuko to be angry with him, so he supposed he'd just use his brush.

"What happens when you do?" Koichi-san pressed gently, still watching Ritsuka.

It was morning, and it was hitting Ritsuka harder than it usually did. He stumbled down the stairs, nearly tripping over his own shoes, almost sending himself tumbling down because of it. He yawned, and the yawn turned into a terrible wet cough. He hacked into his arm, wondering how he managed to get dressed with his feverish mind and pounding head. When he was done, he looked up to see his father glaring at him over his paper, seated at the kitchen table.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked in a rumbled voice, making Ritsuka shrink backwards. Kiyoshi was probably still drunk. He'd given Ritsuka a black eye the previous night because dinner was not done and he didn't clean up his parent's bedroom. Ritsuka never wanted to be the one who had to clean it since there were always strange white stains on the bedspread. This, coupled with other factors, made Soubi cover the boy's eyes and drag him out of that particular room back to the safety of his apartment.

Ritsuka sniffled, barely able to breathe through his nose. "I'm sick," He informed his father in a nasally voice. His head felt burning hot, as did his eyes. His hearing was muffled, his vision blurry, and his sense of smell cloudy.

"Get to school," His father demanded, returning to reading the newspaper.

"I can't," Ritsuka groaned, going into another coughing fit. "I have a fever." Earlier, Ritsuka had taken his temperature and had come up with thirty-eight point three degrees Celsius (101°F), which was a medium to high fever. He wasn't supposed to go to school with a fever. He knew that, Soubi knew that, even Seimei had known that.

"You're going to school," Kiyoshi told him, sternly, demandingly. It wasn't a question. It wasn't open to discussion. If his father wanted him out of the house, then he had to get out of the house, no questions asked.

"I got sick about a month ago," Ritsuka mixed the white and violet, creating a lighter shade of purple. He used that around the two ovals on his paper, making them seemingly glow. "I had a fever of thirty-eight point three. My… Dad wanted to send me to school. I know it was wrong…but…I pretended like I went and when I got out of the house and down the street, I… I called Soubi to pick me up. I know it was wrong to lie, but…"

How could he make Koichi-san understand? He hadn't wanted to suffer the consequences of telling his father 'no'. He was terrified of what he would've done to him, as he'd just received a harsh beating the previous night. He already had a black eye woke up feeling terrible and sicker than a dog. He wasn't supposed to go to school with a fever like that. His daddy had told him to get out. what choice did he have, really? He hadn't wanted to be sent home from school or get others sick. He hadn't wanted to walk all the way to school when he could barely put one foot in front of the other without tripping himself in the process. The only way he could do while keeping everyone safe was to call Soubi and spend the day at his apartment.

Koichi-san wasn't looking at Ritsuka anymore. Instead, he had his head down, absentmindedly doodling. Even as they spoke, there was no eye contact between them. "Sometimes we have to lie to do what's best for us, Ritsuka-san," He suggested softly.

"You're saying it was alright for me to lie?" Ritsuka interpreted his words after a moment of thought. He hated lying. He hated each lie he told with passion. He was ashamed of it, especially lying to Soubi, Kio, and Katsuko-sensei, all people who cared about him and would've helped if Ritsuka had said something months ago.

"I believe that it was alright in this case," Koichi-san glanced up again, his face completely serious. "What did Soubi-san do for you when he picked you up?"

Ritsuka sat slumped over against a tree in some unknown person's yard, his eyes closed, his eyelids heavy and burning with fever. The walk to the end of the block drained all his energy, especially since it was a warm March day. He couldn't recall when he had called Soubi, whether it'd been a minute ago or ten. He could only hope that he'd be here soon. It was rather warm out and he'd already been sweating when he left the house, and now it was even worse.

In his feverish haze, he didn't know how long he sat there, but the next thing he heard was a shocked yell of his name and then the slam of a car door and feet on the pavement.In his feverish haze, he didn't know how long he just sat there. The next thing he knew was he heard someone yell his name, followed by a car door slamming and feet shuffling across the pavement. The first thing he felt besides the pounding of his head and the searing heat was a gentle hand on his forehead and then arms around him, picking him up.

"Soubi," Ritsuka panted, desperate to get somewhere cool and in the shade. Shaking wracked his body and he went into another coughing fit while Soubi carried him to the car. He snuggled his head against Soubi's chest, glad to have his comfort after a terrible night and morning. It was only getting worse and he was sure that Soubi had seen his black eye by now. They were in the car, now, with Soubi laying Ritsuka down in the backseat and undoing the buttons on his shirt.

"I'm taking you to my apartment, Ritsuka," Soubi told him firmly, closing the car door. Ritsuka didn't move, he just closed his eyes and felt the heat fade away, a chilling coldness replace the feeling soon after.

"Please don't make me go to school…" Ritsuka started to beg, convinced that Soubi was going to drop him off at school instead. All he wanted to do was lie in bed and go back to sleep without fearing his parents getting mad. Going to school would just make things worse…

"You're not going to school," Soubi reassured him. "You're too sick."

"He kept me home from school," Ritsuka frowned, and then dipped his paintbrush in the gray and started to paint by swirling his brush around in tight circles until it began to resemble the one thing on his mind. "And he took me to his house. He told me I should take a bath and then he gave me some medicine."

Ritsuka focused on his drawing, almost drowning out Koichi-san, but he knew that the elder male was still suspicious. Who wouldn't be suspicious? He'd seen Ritsuka kiss Soubi on the lips and had stayed in the room while Soubi read to him and told him stories.

"Did he end up taking you to the clinic?"

Ritsuka nodded. He mixed the gray with the black, creating a darker color and continued painting with that color. Koichi-san continued talking with him, though now just about school and his grades. Katsuko-sensei returned after a few minutes and told Koichi-san that he could leave. Ritsuka waved goodbye to him and asked him if he'd visit him again soon. Koichi-san said that he'd be back probably tomorrow or the next day.

"Ritsuka-kun," Katsuko-sensei took Koichi-san's seat beside him, smiling and placing an open folder on the table. Ritsuka glanced over to find that it was full of handwritten notes. Not wanting Katsuko-sensei to get angry with him, he didn't read any of the notes and went back to painting. His therapist laughed, "It's alright if you want to read what I wrote."

Ritsuka shook his head. It was her job to write notes on his behavior. He didn't want to read them, since he didn't want to find out if they were bad or not.

"Did Soubi-san tell you anything about our meeting with the lawyer?"

"No," Ritsuka answered, cleaning off his brush and then picking up a light brown color. He'd been curious about the meeting and if it had gone okay, but in the midst of everything else that had happened that day, he had forgotten to ask and Soubi had probably forgotten to tell or was planning to when he got back to the hospital. He'd have to remember to ask Soubi once he came back.

"How'd it go?" Ritsuka questioned, taking a small break from painting. He really hoped the meeting had gone well. Soubi wasn't exactly a 'people person', but he could be friendly if he seemed to like the person he was talking with. Ritsuka wanted to meet the lawyer, too, but he wasn't sure if he was supposed to or not. Despite being from a family of lawyers, he knew absolutely nothing about the law or the processes that were taken in a situation like this. Soubi most likely knew a lot more than he did, though his interests were mainly arts and sciences. Katsuko-sensei would most definitely know the most, since Ritsuka was sure she'd dealt with a case like this before.

"It went well," She informed Ritsuka. "Later this week someone is going to come by and talk to you. I have to ask you some more questions about what happens at home, but we'll do that later."

"Questions about home?" Ritsuka repeated, slightly confused. Did she mean questions about his father or just questions about home in general?

"Yes. I'm going to ask you a series of questions about your home life and then questions about what life is like when you stay with Soubi. Also, your father has agreed to be your donor, so we're going to get you in for a transplant within the next day or so."

Ritsuka nodded, knowing that this was going to be a busy week.

When Soubi was able to return to the hospital, it was nearly eleven at night. Part of him hoped that Ritsuka would be asleep, but the other part wanted him to still be awake. Yes, he knew the boy needed his sleep after all that happened, but he still wanted to read to his Sacrifice before he went to bed. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day as well, but it was Sunday, so Soubi would be able to spend the entire day with Ritsuka. Yuiko-chan would probably come for a visit as well.

Ritsuka wasn't in his room, so Soubi looked in the common room area where he discovered the boy sitting in a wheelchair, looking disheartened out the window. Soubi was concerned and approached the boy with caution, but it seemed Ritsuka didn't even sense his presence, which alarmed him. Was he all right? He looked more depressed than ever and in the week that they'd been staying in the hospital, Ritsuka had never needed a wheelchair, but he did have a hurt leg with severe muscular damage. Maybe his leg had started to hurt more than usual.

"Ritsuka?" Soubi spoke quietly, not wanting to scare him. Ritsuka looked rather absorbed in his own thoughts and was looking straight out the window. Even when Soubi did speak to him, the only sort of acknowledgement Ritsuka gave was a slight twitch of his tail and a flick of his ears. He continued staring out the window, where it was dark and beginning to rain again. The skyline of the city could be seen on the horizon, bright against the dark, dark sky. Perhaps that was what Ritsuka was looking that. After nearly an entire week in the quiet, sometimes gloomy hospital, Ritsuka probably missed the noise and life that he'd grown up with.

"I should've told you…" Ritsuka's voice was hoarse and even softer than Soubi's; nearly drown out in the deafening silence of the room. The only other sound was the barely audible voice of another patient in another room and the blaring of a TV in a different patient's room.

"Told me?" He was urging Ritsuka on. Ritsuka was going to tell him something important, something that he'd been keeping from Soubi. He was clearly upset about not telling him before.

"Five months, Soubi," Ritsuka replied simply. What was he talking about? Had Ritsuka's father sexually abused him before the night Soubi found out about it? No… that couldn't be… Ritsuka would've told him, wouldn't he? Soubi hadn't noticed any unusual changes in Ritsuka during the previous five months. If anything, the boy spent more time with Soubi, but he hadn't seemed depressed at all. His grades hadn't dropped either, and he'd been happy. The only other time Soubi could think of where Ritsuka seemed to be different was the night he found him downstairs on the floor. That was the night Soubi came to say goodnight but instead discovered Ritsuka on the floor after having been forced to pleasure his drunken father.

Soubi was silent, his mind racing as he tried to figure out what Ritsuka had meant. Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long before Ritsuka went on, "I guess it's actually closer to six months, now. I should've said something when he first started hitting me and coming home more… but I didn't and it only got worse."

Soubi almost wanted to be relieved, but he wasn't. Ritsuka's father had been abusing him for six months. That was no better than what Soubi had previously thought. He should've noticed something. During the month of December Ritsuka had started to show up at his apartment more and more at strange hours of the night. Not that Soubi minded, especially since he said he was kicked out of the house. It was also around the time when 'Misaki's' abuse had escalated to dangerous levels and when Ritsuka had begun to get beat for not making dinner or not cleaning up the disgusting messes in his parents' bedroom.
That was something he should definitely write down to tell the lawyer. Wasn't it considered abusive and endangerment of a child when his parents told him to clean their room when it was filled with almost pornographic evidence of sexual activity? Soubi had almost forgotten about the day that he was helping Ritsuka clean up the house and the boy had led him into his parents' bedroom and it had been a mess of blood, semen, condoms, and sex toys. He'd immediately covered Ritsuka's eyes and taken him to his apartment, disgusted that his mother and father made him, an innocent thirteen year-old, clean up their disgusting mess. Well, back then, Soubi had believed that it was the parent's mess, but it was clear now that Kiyoshi had brought some other man home.

"You said it was your mother who did all that," Soubi reminded him, but not in an accusing way. "Was it really your father who kicked you out and beat you in the middle of the night?"

"Yes." Finally, Ritsuka moved. His right hand reaching out and brushing against Soubi's hand. His tiny, warm hand wrapped around Soubi's and at last the boy turned his head to look at Soubi. "I should've told you the truth. There are so many things I kept from you. He'd wake me up in the middle of the night, sometimes, to yell at me and call me horrible names. He'd always get aroused during it, too, and I just tried to ignore it and tell myself it'd all be over soon. He said if I ever told anyone, he'd hurt the people I love. That's why I was afraid to tell you…"

Soubi let go of his hand and instead hugged the little boy in the wheelchair. Ritsuka regretted not saying anything earlier, but he was finally opening up. Even though it was a bit late for him to tell Soubi about the abuse, it was still the best sign that told him that Ritsuka was slowly beginning the healing process. The fact that he felt comfortable enough to open up to Soubi just made him all the happier. He hugged the child tightly, leaning over the wheelchair to do so. Ritsuka sniffled, but hugged him back, clutching the back of his jacket in his tiny fists.

"I'm sorry," Ritsuka whispered, his little voice strained. "If I had just told you… I probably wouldn't be here now. He's been hurting me for months. And…and…last week…he touched me and raped me and hurt me more than ever. It's all my fault."

Soubi pulled back, only to look into Ritsuka's eyes, his bright, wide eyes. "It's everyone's fault." Mostly mine.

"I'm sorry for lying to you," Ritsuka apologized again, clinging onto Soubi's neck.

"It's alright, Ritsuka," Soubi murmured in one of his human ears, lightly scratching the base of a kitty ear. Ritsuka was feeling down again and Soubi wanted to help him feel better again. "It's late, Ritsuka. Why don't we go lay down and I'll read a story?"

Ritsuka detached himself from Soubi's neck and settled back into his wheelchair, seeming at ease with himself for the first time since he came to the hospital. He had just told Soubi a secret he'd been keeping inside for almost six months, after all. It was no wonder he was so relieved.

…

After telling Ritsuka to brush his teeth, Soubi called a nurse to hook up his nightly IV. While Ritsuka was brushing his teeth, Katsuko-sensei asked Soubi to come outside the room. He followed her to an almost empty room situated behind the nurses' station. The only thing in the room was Aoyagi Kiyoshi asleep on the floor on a thin futon. He was still handcuffed, though this time his hands were simply handcuffed together.

"Is there a problem?" Soubi questioned, concerned. Katsuko looked to be more than uncomfortable in the room, and it was clearly because of Kiyoshi. She even looked to be somewhat frightened by his sleeping presence, even though the man was laying helpless on his stomach, snoring quietly, his hands handcuffed behind his back. Soubi didn't blame her for being scared. What that man had done to Ritsuka was simply inhuman.

"Ritsuka… Ritsuka drew this…" She reached in the folder she was holding. She held out a paper painted on with children's paints. It took Soubi a few moments of looking at the paper to realize what it was. The painting was of some kind of monster, with huge wings, sharp teeth, and large pointed claws. It had the appearance of a rabid dog mixed with some cheap Hollywood-styled monster from the movies the Zero boys enjoyed. After looking over it carefully, Soubi realized who Ritsuka intended it to look like. It had glowing violet eyes with sandy hair or fur mixed in with a gray body. Around the neck area was a stripe of dark green, Soubi glanced behind him and saw Kiyoshi's discarded scarf of the same color.

"Did something happen while I was gone?" Soubi took the painting from her hands, examining it even closer. Some red was mixed in with the fur/body, particularly around the… thing's mouth. What was going on in Ritsuka's mind? When Soubi had left earlier, Ritsuka had been terrified of his dad, but he never described him as a monster.

"Yes, something did. I was careless and forgot to call an orderly to take Aoyagi-san away. Ritsuka-kun saw him and…he just sort of shut down."

…

That night, after Ritsuka was fast asleep in his bed, Soubi stayed up, trying to sleep, but unable to. Katsuko-sensei had told him very little about what happened, though what she'd said was all she knew. She didn't know what had happened to the boy after he'd retreated into his own mind. Afterwards, Soubi had gone back and read to Ritsuka until he fell asleep. He hadn't asked Ritsuka about what happened. He'd already had enough stress for the day with seeing Soubi beat up his father, having the man call out to him, having bad dreams, and opening his heart to Soubi was more than he could handle right now in his condition. He didn't need the added on stress of trying to remember what had happened after he'd shut down.

Soubi laid in the rollaway bed staring up at the ceiling, with occasional glances to look at Ritsuka's peaceful sleeping form. He thought about everything that'd happened in the past few months, all the evidence he'd missed and overlooked. It just made him regret everything more.

Eventually, his wondering mind focused on how Ritsuka withheld from telling him what was happening to him. Of course he wasn't angry, but it did make him curious. What if Ritsuka hadn't told because he didn't know how to? He said it had been because he thought his dad would hurt whomever he told. Weren't teachers supposed to teach kids that they wouldn't let their abuser hurt anyone else if they told? When that thought ran through his head, he was also reminded of the way Yuiko's parents had sent her away so that they could talk to Soubi alone. Come to think of it, their eldest daughter had left as well. Ritsuka didn't fully understand what had happened to him. He hadn't known how to covey the message, while Yuiko seemed to know next to nothing. Did the school system even teach these kids about sex and abuse? They were in seventh grade. Kids even younger than that were always in the news along with their terrifying rape or abuse stories.

At about two in the morning, Soubi was nearly asleep when he heard a little whisper. "Soubi? Are you asleep?"

Soubi opened his eyes, finding Ritsuka standing at his bedside, with his bear in one hand. He didn't look scared at all and he hadn't been making noises in his sleep, so Soubi didn't think he was up because of a bad dream. He shook his head, moving closer to the wall to give Ritsuka room to get in bed with him. The teen immediately climbed in, settling down close to Soubi and closing his eyes again.

"Is something wrong, Ritsuka?" Soubi draped an arm around the boy lying with him. He could probably sleep better with little Ritsuka curled up beside him. He'd just have to wake up early so the nurses wouldn't see them in bed together. That would be a total disaster and could very well end up with Soubi being banned from staying at the hospital with his Sacrifice.

"Sleeping alone is just lonely," Ritsuka told him, sounding sleepy. "I wake up a lot during the night. It's better when I sleep with you."

"I don't like sleeping alone, either," Soubi wondered how Ritsuka would react to the question burning in his mind. He needed to ask it in order to get a better idea on just how much Ritsuka knew about sex and abuse, but he was trying to think of a way to phrase it gently.

"Ritsuka, have you learned about sex and abuse in school yet?"

"Not really," Ritsuka didn't seem fazed by the question in the slightest. Soubi breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't want Ritsuka to relive any more memories, particularly before bed. Ritsuka nuzzled Soubi's chest and then went on tiredly without even opening his eyes, "We learned about the different kinds of abuse, but not much more. As for sex… we just learn about the parts."

So Soubi's initial thoughts had been true. The school system probably thought anyone below high school grade level was too young to learn about the 'hard topics' of rape and abuse. Soubi had always held a disdain for the school system, and this only increased that. Young kids were abused and/or raped all the time. How could anyone expect them to say something if no one talked to them about how to tell? It was partly the parents' job, but it was also the school's job to educate kids.

"Don't you have a health class?" Soubi pressed, knowing that he might not get an answer. He was asking a sleepy little boy after all.

"Yeah…" Ritsuka was nearly asleep. "We mainly just learn about drugs and food and a little about date rape."

Ritsuka fell asleep soon after, pressed against a fully awake Soubi, who was kept up by the thoughts of how Ritsuka understood very little of what had happened.

Sorry. I know I said it wouldn't be a month, but it was. To be short, a lot of shit happened with my family right after I updated. I ended up temporarily leaving home due to the drinking. I'm back on my feet for the most part now.

I do apologize if the dream sequence gave any of you a scare. I meant it to be scary, but not overly terrifying.

Did I do a good job with making the scene where Ritsuka admits everything important enough?

So, I have a bit of a surprise. I wrote a prequel. To Healing. It's set 'three years ago'. I know most of you have already inferred what happened. I've decided that once I get to 300 reviews I'll post it as a present :3.

Thanks to Promocat, Darkdreamer19, Jazzie29, Tamer Lorika, Alois Pinstripe, ChibiSeme97, Luckless-is-me, Yumiithecutie, Heavensentskysky, Serenity Lhane, Tlcatlady, Anelir-sensei, Michael Hollows, Aoshi139, Nicola375, Gurgucalcipher, , CatchingElectricCity, Faeryflight, Maiden Of Books, Far Beyond Crazy, CrapXhead, Streambird, MiMiUncensored, Sunshine Aki, Pageswan45, and Naruto Girl 15for reviewing! When things got tough for me in the past month, I just went and read the reviews!

Chelsea: At first, I wasn't planning on writing a note to you, but I decided I was going to. Really, I find it insulting that you just ASSUME I haven't been abused. You know absolutely nothing about my situation and what I've been through, so I don't want you telling me about my past. Also, I am not portraying 'the whole community of those with experience of sexual abuse'. I am writing a fanfaction. I'm only portraying the characters as I feel fit. I am not writing a manual saying that this is how people act when they're abused. One more thing-I have to honestly say that I really, really do respect you for realizing you were being rude in your first review. I also realize you're not trying to 'flame' me or whatever. You're just giving your opinoin, and I see that. Thank you for that, but, really, if you don't like this story, then don't read it.

Nom: Haters gonna hate.

Naruto Girl 15: Ah, that was a mistake I forgot to fix. I really, really apologize for that.

Pageswan45: Thank you so much for defending me :J I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. It honestly really, really cheered me up.

CrapXhead: ...And then Kiyoshi contracted Nisei so he could get what he wants in exchange for his soul. Nisei took the form of Seimei's true Fighter, who was really a little girl named Lizzy. His true form is that of a bloody black rabbit. He is also good friends with a girl named Alice, whom he sometimes calls on to do his bidding. Yeah...no. Won't work. (How many references did I fit in there?)

Yumiithecutie: Nope. Seimei won't be at the reunion, though he will show up very soon...

Make sure to review for the prequel!

~Wolfie