A/N: Update Time!

Thanks for all your reviews and for the new follows and favorites. Kisses..

I own nada...just the plot

John saw Randy alight from the taxicab and he instantly knew something was up. He pulled him into his arms and both men enveloped each other in a tight embrace.

"Baby." Randy whispered as he squeezed John to him even tighter.

"Are you okay there?" John asked against Randy's shoulder and Randy nodded. "Yeah. I've just missed you."

John laughed and tried to pull away but Randy refused to let go. "I've missed you too babe, but you have to let go now so we can pay the cab driver."

"Oh right, sorry." Randy said and smiled sheepishly as he let go and pulled some money from his pocket and handed it to the driver who pulled out immediately.

They entered the house, and Randy dropped his bag just at the door and pulled John into another tight hug. John simply let him, without asking questions, knowing there was something on his boyfriend's mind.

"I made sandwiches, just the way you like them. Come on, sit." John said when the moment was over. He made to go to the kitchen but Randy pulled him back and captured him into a deep kiss.

Whereas they kissed deeply all the time, John sensed something else in this particular kiss. It was desperate and needy and most of all, it was possessive. He kissed back with the same fierceness such that the kiss did not last long.

"Ok sheriff, what's the matter?" Randy shook his head and took John's hands in his and felt the roughness around the knuckles and lifted them in level with his sight. "What happened to your hands?"

"Nothing." John replied quickly as he pulled them from Randy's and walked into the kitchen.

"Doesn't look like nothing to me, Johnny. Were you in a fight?" Randy inquired as he followed John into the kitchen.

"No Randy, I wasn't in a fight. They're just scrapes. Here." John handed Randy a plate of sandwiches in a bid to dismiss the uncomfortable conversation.

Randy pushed the plate back and invaded his personal space. "Don't change the subject. You better tell me what happened Johnny or I'm gonna keep asking just to irritate you."

"Ok, you win." John sighed and sat on the tall kitchen stool. "I remembered something from my childhood the day you were called to the office and it was the bathroom wall that bore the brunt."

Randy inhaled deeply and kissed John's temple. "Wanna talk about it?"

"No." John replied as he parted his legs and pulled Randy between them. "I'd much rather you show me how much you've missed me instead."

Randy smiled and swept John off his feet and carried him upstairs bridal style and into the bedroom where he showed him exactly how much he had missed him.

•••

"So, what's been eating at you?" John asked as they cuddled on the couch much later in nothing but their boxer shorts watching television.

"Mh?" Randy grunted absently, prompting John to slap his exposed thigh. "Ouch! That hurt."

"Then focus." John scolded. "I said what's bothering you? Everything you've done today has been very intense."

Randy looked away and inhaled before looking at John whose head lay on his lap. "Your father was arrested, Johnny."

Long silence then, "For what?"

"Sit up." John sat up and gazed at Randy who gazed right back before inhaling deeply. "There was something you said a while back while you were sleeping."

"What did I say? Tell me." John nearly choked.

Randy took another deep breath before looking at John. "You said, 'daddy stop'. I didn't tell you before because it could've been just a bad dream, but my intuition was screaming at me to do something about it."

"What do you mean?" John whispered. Randy gathered all the strength he had because he knew he had to do this. "Please don't be mad at me for what I'm about to tell you."

"What did you do?" John asked.

"I called your father into my office that Saturday afternoon with the pretext of discussing the case of his dead horse. I wanted to rile him up because I've seen him riled up before, he becomes careless and doesn't weigh his words."

"That's my father." John agreed. "Always talking too much."

"Exactly. And I used that to my advantage that day. He gave me a derogatory speech about how he knew you and I killed it and if he found out...blah...blah."

"How derogatory?" John inquired and Randy shrugged. "Offensive names and stuff. But the topic soon changed to you."

"How so?" John whispered again, his mouth suddenly going dry.

"I accused him of being an asshole dad to you." Randy replied and sighed. "I don't know how to tell you baby, but I have him on tape confessing. If you..."

"Confessing to what?" John demanded in a harsh voice, taking Randy aback a little. He realized it and looked down guiltily. "Can you play the tape for me?"

Randy nodded and swallowed hard. "Ok. But Johnny, I need you to believe that I didn't mean to dredge up your past like..."

"Play the tape, Randy."

"I will in a minute. I need you to listen to me first Johnny because if you get mad at me for it it's gonna break my heart and I can't bear the thought of h..."

"Just play the tape, Randy!" John snapped and Randy rushed to his bag and retrieved the recorder and came back to the couch.

"Are you really sure? He's a condescending son of a bitch and he's said some very heavy stuff in..."

"Give it to me." John rolled his eyes as he snatched the recorder from Randy's hands and pressed play.

He listened silently, his red face contorted in fury and shame and guilt. Fury of what was taken from him. Shame of realizing that Randy now knew the secret that he had guarded with his life. And the guilt of having not trusted Randy enough to tell him the real truth before.

Randy just watched John going through the conflicting emotions and his heart broke for him. He did not know what to do so he just sat, waiting for any reaction the tape might provoke in John.

When it was finally over, John simply handed Randy the tape back and got up. "I need some air."

•••

Randy waited and waited and waited but John did not return. It was approaching 8p.m and he still had not returned, neither was he answering his phone and Randy began to get worried. Just as he opened the door to go look for him, he found John standing outside, about to open it.

"Thank God!" Randy exclaimed and pulled him into a hug. "I was so worried."

The hug quickly ended and they went inside. Randy waited with baited breath for John to say something but it did not come. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." John replied simply. Randy nodded and bit his lip. "Are you mad at me?"

John stood up and stared out the window. "Yeah I'm mad, but not just at you. I'm mad at him for taking away my innocence and my youth. I'm mad at God for allowing it to happen." He turned to Randy. "And I'm mad at you for going and digging up my past without talking to me first. You had no right."

"Johnny," Randy said as he rushed to John's side. "I'm sorry. I certainly never wanted to hurt you at all, it's the last thing I'd ever wanna do. I'm a cop and that's what I do. I collect evidence to put people away and though it may have been..."

"I don't care about your cop intuition, Randy." John shot back, cutting Randy off. "In fact, I don't wanna discuss this with you right now because I don't wanna say something I'll regret."

"Johnny, please listen to me for one minute."

"I said not now, Randy." John said, finality in his tone. "Where is he now?"

"In custody. He's due in court on Monday." Randy answered, his heart sinking because John was really mad at him.

"I don't want this case to go to court, Randy." John said. "I can't live through that again. Do me a favor, will you?"

"Of course."

"Drop all charges against him, then take this tape to mom and make them both listen to it. What mom does with that information will determine what happens to that bastard. Is that possible?"

Randy nodded. "Of course it is. Are you sure you wanna do this, Johnny? The man did horrible things to you and I don't think you should just let him walk."

"I've had years to hate him, Randy. Forgiveness is not a chore." Randy nodded again and put the recorder back in his bag.

"Johnny," Randy tried again but John stopped him with his hand. "I'm going to bed."

Randy watched him go upstairs and for the first time in his life since he became a cop, he doubted his own reasoning.

...

The tension was thick as they said their goodbyes the following day. Randy hated leaving like that but John had made it clear that morning as well that he wanted the subject closed.

It was going to be a difficult weekend.

A/N: Do you think John was justified in getting angry at Randy? Did Randy have the right to make that tape? Review and let me know. Thanks for reading.