It was hours before they got any sort of news, but the majority of the wedding guests had come to wait in the downstairs waiting room. They had not wanted remain in the hallway with Sam because they wanted to give him some space. The only one who actually went there was Jess, and she sat in silence for the most part with a comforting hand on Sam's shoulder.
Castiel was beginning to return to reality, or at least to consciousness - reality was still a stretch, and he seemed to be slowly emerging from his sleep. "Dean…" He grumbled his first word as he moved around in his sleep a little bit with his eyes still sealed shut. "Dean." He repeated with a little bit more urgency. "Dean. Gabriel." He shot up as the names spilled forth from his tongue. That was it. He realized where he was and what was going on, and it was enough to send him springing forth in his seat. His eyes were wide and afraid when he sat up, and he took the whole place in urgency. The way that he looked at the hospital hallway made it seem like he was being threatened, almost as if the room could swallow him whole.
"It's okay, Cas." Sam soothed with as much assurance as he could manage. He was so afraid for Dean and Gabriel, but he had to be there to calm down Cas. "The doctors are helping them right now."
Castiel's gaze spun around to meet Sam's, but the former's eyes seemed wild and frantic like a deer in a headlight. "W-where?" He demanded in a softer tone that ebbed with fear.
"In the emergency room. They've got the best possible people helping them." Sam assured in a voice that was getting increasingly shaky with every passing minute.
Jess gave Sam's arm a comforting squeeze. "They'll help them." She assured both men. "There's nothing else we can do."
Cas leaned back in his chair and began to stare at the ground as if he had just seen a ghost. "I want to help them." He muttered in a defeated tone.
"I know, but sometimes we just have to accept that we can't control everything. Sometimes hope is just the only option." Jess's voice was gentle and steady as she spoke.
Cas nodded his head slowly and grudgingly. He did not want to admit it, but Jess was right. He really could not do anything more to help his family. All he could do was sit by, watch, and hope for the best.
They were interrupted by the entrance of the same doctor who had healed Castiel when he was in a coma. He came in with the same steady, unmoving gaze. He held his clipboard in his hands as he turned to stand in front of the three stressed visitors in the hallway. "I have news." He stated blandly.
"Is it…" Sam hesitated as he questioned whether or not he wanted to ask his question; he may have been too afraid of the answer. "Good news?" He asked with a heartbreakingly hopeful voice.
The doctor fixed his empty gaze on the brunette as he spoke in his monotone. "Some of it, not all."
Sam rubbed his eyes. He had expected as much. Nothing could just be good; there had to be bad that went with it. They could never just be happy; there always had to be some complication. "What's the good news?" He asked, trying to force his voice to sound strong, but it was progressively weakening, and almost faded.
"Dean Winchester has showed signs of improvement. We were able to remove the bullet, and it did not hit anything too vital. He should be able to pull through. He's asleep right now, but I imagine he will be awake in no time." The doctor looked at Dean's profile as he spoke, and he was now flipping through it.
"And… The bad news?" Sam practically choked out. He could feel his whole body shaking with fear, and he tried desperately to contain it, but he could not. Jess grabbed onto his hand to give it a tight squeeze, assuring him that he was not alone.
"He has some brain damage from the fall he took. We have not yet calculated the exact degree of the damage, but it is most likely mild at least, and it is more probable for it to be moderate." The doctor lacked any kind of empathy at that moment as he finished the summary of Dean's case.
Sam nodded. Of course there was bad news. It was inevitable, but at least Dean was alive. Anything else they could work through.
"What about Gabriel?" Cas spoke up for the first time since the doctor entered the room. Castiel was staring up at him with pleading puppy dog eyes, as if begging the doctor to save Gabriel too.
"Ah, yes." The doctor began to flip through his clipboard until he came across Gabriel's case. "It would appear that the bullet actually went right through him. It did too much damage to his heart. He died almost immediately after arriving. I assumed that someone had told you." He stated, completely neutral.
Cas lost feeling of the world around him. Nothing was real. Nothing. It couldn't be. He could not accept that. Gabriel could not be dead. He was alive just a few short hours ago. He was happy and proud. He could not leave. Gabriel was the only good brother that Cas had. He refused to believe it.
"No. He's not. You're lying." Castiel whispered as his eyes stayed pried open and his gaze locked on the floor.
"I don't lie. It's the truth. That's what happens." The doctor replied tastelessly.
"He can't be dead. He's my brother. He's supposed to be there for me. He can't…" Cas began to cry uncontrollably.
"It happens all of the time. That is life." The doctor was staring down at his paperwork and did not even bother to meet his gaze.
"Go." Sam almost demanded as he saw Cas mentally breaking down. "Please." He added with as much compassion as he could muster. It was hard to do so seeing as the man seemed to have no sense of empathy himself.
The doctor complied without another word. He left the room unchanged from the time he entered.
"Cas…" Sam tried to find a comforting tone for Castiel, but it seemed almost impossible. It was shocking to Sam too. Gabriel had grown to be family to him, and it seemed to be earth shaking to find out that he was dead and no one had even told them. He swallowed hard as he took in the image of Cas crumbling to pieces in front of him. He wanted to help, but he did not know how. "We… We can be okay, Cas. I'm here for you, and Dean will get better too."
"No." The word did not even seem to be human anymore once Cas uttered it. It was so pained that it sounded like it was coming from an animal that had been run over by a truck. Castiel's wide gaze remained fixed on the floor, but it now seemed broken. It looked lighter than usual, like shattered glass. "Not Gabriel." He choked out in the most strained voice that Sam had ever heard.
"Cas…" That was the only word that Sam could find while he was looking at him. He moved cautiously forward as if he were uncertain of what Cas could do in that state. He reached out to put a comforting hand on his brother-in-law's shoulder, but Castiel jerked away.
Cas looked up at Sam with wild eyes. "No." He repeated. "He's lying. Gabriel would not leave me. Don't believe him! He's a liar!" His face distorted in rage as he glared up at Sam accusingly.
"I'm sorry, Cas, but he has no reason to lie. Gabriel's gone. I'm sorry, but it's true." Sam's voice came out twisted with emotion. He did not want it to be true either, but he had to accept that eventually.
"No!" Castiel screamed as he raced away from Sam and burst into the room where Gabriel was taken to hours ago. Surely enough, he was there. He was in a hospital bed hooked up to machines similar to the ones that Cas was attached to during his comatose state. The difference was those machines were completely black. They were turned off completely.
Castiel's eyes widened even further at the sight, and one could think that his eyeballs might fall out of his skull, but he was not that fortunate. Gabriel was lying there completely motionless with scarlet staining his clothes. Despite the bloody appearance, Gabriel still looked peaceful. His eyes were delicately closed, and it was almost as if he were sleeping.
Castiel stumbled into the room with his eyes locked on Gabriel. "G-Gabe?" His voice was little more than a whisper. It sounded so strained and afraid as he approached the operating table that his older brother was still laid out on. "Gabe?" He tried again as he reached it.
There was no response. The entire room was silent, and Castiel could not take it. "Gabriel?" He tried as desperation crept into his voice. "Get up! Say something, please! I don't care what; just say something! You promised you'd always be there for me!" He pleaded with tears rolling down his face.
He felt his legs give out underneath him after he received no response. He began to sob uncontrollably as his upper body fell on top of the operating table. He was crying into the shirt of Gabriel's dead body. He was silent for the rest of the time that he was in there. He was once again lost for words. Actually, he was lost in general. He had always had Gabriel beside him. Gabriel had been there for him much longer than anyone else, but now he was not. Now Castiel was stranded without the comfort and guidance of his older brother, who had practically raised him. He could not even begin to fathom what was going on. His loss was too great, and it shattered him into a million pieces. He tried to formulate other words, but none would come. All that came was gross sobbing.
Sam loomed in the doorway. He did not know what to do. The sight was heartbreaking, but he felt powerless to fix it. He felt like anything he did would only make the situation worse, but he felt terrible just standing there. He forced himself to be brave and try to help. He crept into the room and placed a gentle hand on Castiel's back. "It's okay, Cas. Everything will be okay." Sam tried to soothe him.
"Okay?!" Cas managed to choke out. "This is not okay!" He shrieked as he spun around to face Sam with hot tears rolling down his face. "Gabe is gone…" He broke down, the rest of his body crumpling to the ground. Cas was on the floor with his hands buried in his face while he cried.
"I know, but things get better. I promise they will, Cas. It just takes time." Sam assured him.
"It won't. Gabriel made things better. He was the one who fixed things. Now everything is broken." Cas choked into his hands, which only proved his point. Sam could easily see that Castiel was broken, and he was unsure if he could fix him. Sam had thought that Cas was shattered after losing his mother, but this was worse. Castiel seemed crippled beyond repair. Sam said nothing else. There was nothing else to say. His words seemed to only make matters worse, so he stood over Castiel just to show him that he was not alone.
They came to take Gabriel's body away about half an hour later. They physically had to pull Castiel away. The entire time he was screaming for them not to take his older brother away because he needed him. They had to sedate Cas again. Sam dragged him out of the room, and he took him with him into the room where Dean was sleeping. The doctor had said that Dean would be awake soon. It was really only a matter of waiting.
Sam propped Cas into a chair by Dean's bedside and sat himself in one next to it. He assumed that seeing Dean again would calm Castiel down a bit. He only hoped that his brother woke up first, so Cas would not freak out and think that Dean was dead.
For once, Sam's hopes came true. Dean was awake in about an hour. The brunette brightened as soon as he saw his brother begin to stir from his sleep. "Dean?" He asked with a voice brimming with hope and pain.
"Sam?" Dean groaned as his eyes began to flutter open.
"I'm here, Dean. It's Sam." Sam responded eagerly as he leaned forward in his seat.
There was a pause as Dean tried to force his eyes open before he spoke, but he eventually managed to open his eyes about halfway. He let out a sigh of relief as his gaze rested upon his unconscious husband. "Cas is okay." He murmured.
"Cas is… Sure. Cas is fine." Sam bit his tongue before he told Dean the truth. He had just woken up; he did not need to be burdened with that knowledge yet.
The elder Winchester's eyes opened up more fully as he took in the image of Castiel. He looked so peaceful and carefree. "I'm glad to see that he's sleeping. Thanks for looking after him, Sam." Dean's voice was a soft and affectionate whisper.
Sam gulped hard. He could not help but to feel guilty. He had not really taken great care of Castiel. Although, in all fairness taking care of Cas at that time was not really an easy job. As a matter of fact, it was almost impossible. Castiel's mental state only seemed to be worsening. "Yeah, well I think that he needs you right now. I don't think I'm enough." Sam muttered darkly as he too rested his gaze on Castiel, but his gaze was not filled with love and affection; it was filled with concern and pity.
"I'm awake now. There's nothing for him to worry about." Dean sounded clearly confused. He had not seen Gabriel get shot. He was unconscious at that point. He did not know, and now Sam had to tell him.
Sam sighed painfully. "Dean…" He began, but he wished that he did not have to finish that sentence. "Gabriel's dead."
Dean's eyes were fully open now and even more so; they widened to nearly twice their size. "What?! How?!"
"Shh…" Sam jerked his head towards Castiel as he hushed Dean. "Don't wake him up. He's having a hard enough time already."
Dean lowered his voice back down to a soft whisper. "But… how?" He asked, baffled. Dean's thoughts were racing. Gabriel had been alive the last time he saw him. He had been so happy for them, but now Gabriel was dead? He had just become Dean's brother-in-law, and now he lost him. The thought was overwhelming.
"Michael shot him after he shot you. He took a bullet for Cas." Sam informed him.
Dean's eyes went wide once more in disbelief. "He's gone? And all because Michael had a hissy fit?" He sounded disgusted as he spoke, but Sam said nothing in response. "I hope they lock him up forever. I hope he never sees daylight again."
Sam shook his head. "He'll probably be sent to mental institution. They've diagnosed him with schizophrenia and post traumatic stress disorder."
Dean gritted his teeth. "So what? He lives a comfy cozy life in a mental hospital? He gets away with killing a man?! His own brother?!" His anger began to build, and as it did, his voice rose.
"I know, but there's nothing we can do about it. All we can do is be here for Cas, and right now that means being quiet." Sam reminded him gently.
Dean nodded. He understood what Sam was trying to say. Cas was going to take this harder than anyone, and he would need them there to be calm and comforting. They could not be worked up, otherwise Castiel would have noone to lean on. "I get it, but do you mind…?" Dean's gaze drifted towards his peacefully sleeping husband, and Sam knew immediately what he wanted.
"Right. I agree." Sam said briskly as he lifted Castiel up - Dean was probably still too weak in his injured shoulder to do so. Sam laid Castiel gently onto the bed where Dean then wrapped his good arm around him to pull him into him.
Dean kissed the top of Castiel's forehead as if silently saying, I've got you, Cas. Don't worry. I'm here.
Cas slept peacefully in Dean's arms for a few hours. There was the slightest of content smiles on Castiel's face as he lay in the warmth and security of Dean's body. Sam had gone out to get some sleep himself - Dean had ordered his brother to take care of himself, and Sam felt it best not to argue with him. Now, Dean and Cas were alone. Dean had his head propped up on his husband's as he kept his gaze focused on the far wall. He had been there for hours now, and he was still trying to allow the events of the wedding to soak in. Michael came in. He had schizophrenia that he had developed from his time in service. He shot Dean and Gabriel. Michael would not go to jail. He would spend his days in a mental institution. Gabriel was dead; he died for Castiel, and now Castiel was apparently broken. Sam had made it all sound so wretched and unfixable, and Dean could only hope that his brother was wrong. All common sense screamed confirmations of Sam's statements, but Dean refused to let them be right. He could not bring back Gabriel, but he could see to it that Castiel healed. He was not going to let Cas fall apart.
"Dean?" Castiel's sweet and soft voice interrupted Dean's thoughts.
"Hey, Cas." Dean replied equally soft and sweet as he stroked Castiel's head.
"Where are we?" Cas asked confused. He must not have remembered what had happened, and Dean wondered how much Castiel had forgotten.
"My hospital room." Dean said as gently as he could, but the word was not easily spoken ever since Castiel's accident.
Cas shot up in the bed and looked around frantically as he remembered why he was in the hospital. "Gabriel." He muttered frantically.
"Shh." Dean soothed as he pulled Castiel back into him. "I know, Cas. I know."
Cas tried to pull away from Dean's hold. "They took him! They took my brother. They can't do that. I need him!" He pleaded as he tried to squirm his way out of Dean's arms, but Dean held onto him firmly and instead began to rock him back and forth.
"I know you do, Cas, but we can't change what happened." Dean hushed as he began to hum. Castiel was always calmed by humming. He hummed to himself whenever he was sad or content. Humming was just a way of showing happiness or forcing it, and in this case it was the latter.
Cas began to cry again as he went limp in Dean's arms. "I don't know what to do without him. I don't know how to live without him. He has always been there for me, and now…" He was cut off by his own crying.
"I'm here for you, Cas, and so is Sam. We may not be Gabriel, and I know we can't replace him, but we are here for you. We'll help you." Dean assured him as he rested his head on top of Castiel's. Cas had sunk down into his arms, and he was now shaking as sobs racked his body. Castiel said nothing else. He just lay there, limp and trembling. Dean was the one thing grounding him to reality at the time. Dean was his shelter, and at that time, he was relying so heavily on it to protect him from the outside world of hurt. Hopefully, Dean would be enough.