Wow....I wrote a lot for this chapter...
hehehe xD I had too much fun with this.
Please Review.
Chapter 13
"Light-kun~! Where are you going~?!" Light inwardly cringed, but didn't even dare pause as he continued to slip his arms through the sleeves of his coat.
After visiting Sayu in the hospital, he knew that it would be best to go and visit Ren as well. She hadn't been at her best when everything was done and over with. In fact, Light could pick up the tremor in her voice even during the trade-off. Not much had changed since then, he was sure and it was his chance to get all that much closer to her.
If he could get Misa to leave him the hell alone…
"I've got some things I need to do, Misa. Stay here."
"But, Light-kun~! We haven't seen each other in forever!" Probably because he didn't want to see her.
The one he wanted to see was in a hotel down the road and he had a feeling she would need his company more than this stalker-like blonde.
Light sighed and looked towards her.
"Misa, it's important that you stay here." So that she didn't spill everything and make all that he was working for completely useless.
That and he couldn't risk Ren-chan being discovered. Misa still probably had a page of her own notebook somewhere and if she discovered his and Ren-chan's relationship…who knew how she'd react. He would rather not risk it.
Of course, Light would have gotten rid of Misa permanently awhile ago if it weren't for the chance of someone catching on. He couldn't risk that either. So, he would just have to settle for this little secret relationship with Ren-chan. Though, it wasn't quite official yet and she still didn't know about the little tidbit that he technically already had a girlfriend.
Misa pouted.
"Alright…but you won't be long, right?" Light flashed a charming smile.
"Of course not, Misa." That depended on one's definition of "long", though.
Though, he doubted Ren would want to keep him for very long, Light figured he could probably talk her into letting him stay for a little longer.
"Righty then, Light-kun! I'll see you real soon !" Misa giggled and hugged him affectionately before he managed to squirm free from her hold.
Oh God he hoped she was asleep whenever he got back…
--
"It's understandable, the pressure you must feel to be indifferent to the original L." Near murmured softly, his fingers playing along the small finger puppet before placing it beside one that replicated Mello.
He had his own predictions about what would happen in the not-so-distant future. He was also prepared to deal with anything that would or could possibly happen as he was quite open to the possibilities.
Peace locked her eyes with Near's, a small frown tugging at her bottom lip as she listened to him continue.
"However, that is hardly an excuse. The immense pressure you feel, you need to use to your advantage so that Kira can be put to a stop at a faster pace." Why was he telling her what she already knew?!
Give her some advice that she could actually use for herself. Please.
In her silent rage, Peace eventually realized that he knew nothing of how she really felt or of her current conflictions. Her hatred of her current self had kept her from telling him the entire truth.
Perhaps she felt the pressure to be exactly like L, but she recognized that wasn't the entire problem. She recognized that she was part of the problem. Most of the problem. Her feelings and emotions were truly getting in the way of her logic. Or what remained of it.
"I know…I'll work to fix the issue…" The girl murmured, her tone extremely soft.
Near stared at her, his eyes studying her thoroughly for any sort of break in her defences. He probably found the break, but probably figured it would be best to say nothing further on the subject. In fact, he probably figured it best to end their conversation for the day as that was exactly what he did.
"Good. Then, until a later time, L."
"Goodbye, Near…" He ended the feed first and Peace released a heavy sigh of relief, glad that it was over.
Her relief was short-lived, however, as there was soon a gentle sounding knock at the door of the suite and her eyes widened a little.
It was Light! Damn it…what timing he had. Really, she wasn't in the mood to speak with him right now. She was confused enough as it was and he was probably going to make it worse before he made it better. If he made it better. God she hoped he'd make it better…
And she hoped that he wouldn't care to ask questions about the size of the hotel room. Perhaps she could talk him into taking her for a walk instead. That way, the chances of Serenity and Jacob discovering her feelings were slimmer as well.
Much less shouting she'd have to deal with.
Stumbling from her chair, Peace nearly fell to the floor several times as she made her way to the door. Her small fingers clasped the brass doorknob and she opened it slowly, large storm colored eyes raising up to meet with honey brown.
Immediately, she caught onto the curiosity hidden deep beneath the obvious concern he wasn't bothering to hide.
She lowered her gaze nervously.
"H- hello, L- Light-kun…" Her tone betrayed her feelings, as did the slight trembling of her fingers against the wood of the door as she held it open.
Light blinked a couple times before offering her a small, hopefully comforting smile.
He didn't like to see her upset. A part of him reminded him of that constantly whenever she happened to cross his mind.
That was growing to be more often nowadays.
"Have you gotten any rest, Ren-chan?" Still, he wondered how she could afford such a large hotel room…
"A- a little…" She moved herself from the door and stepped outside the suite, clicking the door shut behind her.
Peace then hid her hands nervously behind her back, her fingers locking together as her eyes slid down to the floor. Almost immediately, Light reached forwards and cupped her chin, tilting her face upwards so that he could look directly into her eyes.
"Maybe you should go to bed…you look exhausted." She pulled her face away and shook her head before looking up at him and smiling weakly.
"I- I'm fine, Light-kun…really."
"If you say so." He looked around the hotel before looking back to the small, pale young woman who had taken to looking back towards the floor.
He frowned a little before reaching forwards and gently taking her much smaller hand in his. Light watched as she jerked a little and offered her another comforting smile.
"Relax, Ren-chan. You don't need to explain everything. It would be nice, but you don't have to." After all, it wasn't as though she was much of a threat as she was.
Physically, he figured he could take her on. Mentally, Light knew he could beat her. Ren may have been intelligent, but she was nowhere even close to his level from what he had seen.
Peace shook her head.
"Y- you deserve to know how I can afford this…" This she was going to tell him and she truly felt that he deserved to know it as well, even if it wasn't all of it.
Surely the fact that she was what most would consider a "rockstar" wouldn't be too hard to believe. Though, she would edit the rest of it, for the most part it would be the truth.
Looking up, she gently squeezed his hand and smiled gently.
"B- but…can we talk somewhere else? I- I think it would be better if no one saw us…" If Serenity and Jacob discovered how she'd fallen, they'd skin her alive.
So, she was going to tell him everything? Light was more than pleased to hear this. It meant that she fully trusted him. Unless she was lying. Quickly, he pushed that possibility to the back of his mind.
Hell, this was Ren-chan. Her lying successfully? He highly doubted she could pull it off without dropping several hints. Though, perhaps it was a little much for him to believe that, Light truly believed that. Besides, even if she was lying, he would figure it out and he would be sure to kill her off because of it. Even if he didn't want to…
He smiled again.
"Of course. We'll go wherever you want to go."
"H- how about the café you took me to before?" Right, the first place he'd fully spoken to L about the Kira case four years ago.
Somehow, Light found that extremely fitting. Though, he didn't understand why he felt that way. He just did.
If only he really knew it all.
--
Ashes from the cigarette hit the concrete of the sidewalk as Matt took a long drag. Removing the tobacco stick from his lips, he exhaled a large cloud of smoke and stopped off to the side of the large hotel building. Strands of his copper hair hung in his goggled eyes as he hovered outside of the building.
"Hmm…" Really, what was the point of this?
Right, Mello sent him to see if she was here.
After seeing her only hours ago and hearing her introduce herself under the name of "Ren Hideki", it hadn't taken very long to locate someone under the same name in this very hotel. Then, completely under Mello orders, Matt came along to see if she was really here. If she was, he was supposed to immediately report this news back to Mello so that he could deal with it. However, this was Matt. The chances of him fully listening to his best friend? Slim. Very slim. He had plans to talk with her himself and ask the following question:
What the hell was going on?!
Of course, he probably wouldn't wait to get his answer before tackling her into a hug.
Thank God she was alive! And okay! Both were a great combination! Although, the fact that she was hanging around with Kira was a bit of a downside…
Mello was grumbling about that still. He probably would be for a lot longer than Matt wanted to deal with. Hopefully, he'd get over this, though. Peace probably had a plan. It wouldn't be like her to not have one.
Matt took another long drag on his cigarette and glanced up at the darkening sky before exhaling. Then, he heard the voices.
He wasn't entirely sure what the hell they were talking about, but he picked up the familiar voices of Peace and that Yagami fellow. The guy they were trying to put an end to.
He tensed up and flattened himself up against the wall, snuffing out the cigarette against the wall. Quickly, he focused in on them. Of course, whatever they were saying wasn't important. Just the fact that they were together.
Together and holding hands.
Matt wasn't entirely sure what to make of this sight, though he knew most certainly what Mello would make of it. He wouldn't like it. Not in the least.
Though, that was probably an understatement. More than an understatement.
Well, this was probably just one big act. After all, it wasn't as though they were making out or anything. Getting close to Yagami was probably all part of her big plan…whatever the hell that was. Besides, before he jumped to conclusions, he should spy on them.
You know, get the real deal of what the hell was going on?!
--
She'd been taking a liking to sweets lately, Peace noted as she lightly placed a forkful of chocolate cheesecake in her mouth. It was only a small slice, a rather large strawberry balancing on its remnants.
Light sat across from her, his honey brown orbs watching her for several minutes before lifting his coffee to his lips and taking a small sip.
Wow. He could hardly believe what she had told him. Though, he did. He really believed her, not finding any reason to not do exactly that. After all, her being a decently known musician would explain how she would be able to afford such a large hotel room. It would also explain why she hadn't been so eager to accept his money when they had first met.
She didn't need it. She had enough of it. Ren-chan wasn't the type of person to take something she didn't really need.
It would also explain her great skill with the guitar. She played the instrument almost every day. Practice really does make perfect…she wasn't much older than a child, really.
"You're very successful then." He mused, reaching his hand across to rest gently over hers.
Briefly, the vigilante noted the softness of her skin before looking up into her eyes. Light immediately noticed the very pale blush in her cheeks as she looked down at their hands. Smiling outwardly, his fingers gently wrapped around her small hand and held it more securely.
"I- I guess…but not here in Tokyo." She replied softly.
"Why not?"
"W- well, it was supposed to be my debut, this tour, to other parts of the world…I've only played in England and the Americas…" Quickly, he jumped to question that, but smoothly.
"A quest for fame, Ren-chan? That doesn't sound like you." She flushed again and nibbled on her bottom lip, giving her even more the appearance of a child.
"I- I don't care about that, Light-kun." Peace admitted, pulling her hand out of his hold gracefully before returning to the final bite of her cheesecake.
It was just a strawberry actually and Light watched in semi-amusement as she picked it up and lightly began to nibble on it. Vaguely, he was reminded of L. Who, despite having a very different way of eating, also tended to save the strawberry for very last.
It was intriguing, yet scary…he really needed to stop comparing these two. It wouldn't be good for his health, most certainly.
She continued.
"Fame isn't the reason why I'm trying to get a debut in the world. Neither is money. I just want to play my guitar, have people hear my music, and make some friends. That's all I want. I don't have many friends…" Reaching forwards, Light ran his thumb against her cheek and stared into her soul-searching stormy orbs.
If only for a minute. Hell, no one could look into those eyes for very long before feeling insignificant and small.
It was the same for L.
Damn…he'd done it again. It seemed as though comparing the two was all he could do.
"Well, you are shy." He said with a smile, grabbing her hand once again.
"Hardly." Peace responded, gently smiling in return.
"I just tend to be a little inexperienced in some social situations. Shy shouldn't be the word that describes it…" She continued and Light again couldn't help, but compare her to L.
The way she spoke. So matter-of-fact. The way she held herself, though it wasn't slouched like L, it gave her the air of knowledge.
Peace stopped her idle chatter and fell silent, taking notice that Light was apparently lost in his thoughts. Falling completely silent, her eyes saddened a little and she looked down.
Right…she was probably boring him to death with her sudden rant. It wasn't often that she ranted about nothing, only when she was in a good mood. Apparently, being around Light was helping her to forget her issues - despite the fact that they involved him - and continue on with her life. Like she would have if she wasn't dating a suspected serial killer.
Her thoughts stumbled over themselves.
Dating…? Did she really think that? Well, they had gone on several different dates. Technically, that was dating, was it not? Though, she supposed that it wouldn't be called dating unless it was official…after all, they weren't boyfriend and girlfriend.
"Ren-chan? Are you feeling alright? You went quiet pretty fast." Quickly, she regained herself, blushing faintly before looking up at Light.
"I- I'm fine, Light-kun. Just thinking…"
"Oh? About what?" Light had noticed that she seemed troubled with something and he was curious as to what.
After all, it was probably best for her to talk about it instead of hold it in. He wanted to let her know that he would be there to listen to her whenever she needed him. Perhaps a little strange, but it was the truth.
Lowering her gaze to their interlocked hands, she tried so desperately understand why in the world he would be curious as to what she was thinking. The only one to ever bother to ask what she was thinking, was L. The rest of the time she could hide her troubled expression enough for no one else to pick it up. Other than Near of course, but truthfully, he wasn't one to ask what was bothering her. He waited for her to tell him what was bothering her. And if Mello thought something was bothering her, he didn't really care. He just got mad at her for moping…
Peace bit down on her lip.
Wow. She had known that she'd missed L before, but she never realized exactly how much he had given her that she hadn't received from anyone else.
Light was giving her a lot of those things.
"It- it's not all that important…" But she doubted that he'd keep it up.
Mello didn't keep it up. In fact, the positive feelings she received from him were few and far between. Positive feelings never lasted too long and she didn't want to get used to them like she had before.
Again, Light cupped her face and offered a gentle smile before lightly placing a kiss to her lips. Her stormy colored eyes went wide briefly and blood rushed to her cheeks. Light couldn't help, but think of her as anything, but adorable. Though, that wasn't something he would typically think of any girl, with Ren-chan it was very difficult not to think it.
When he pulled away, he continued to smile as he held her face gently in one hand. A quiet chuckle escaped him.
"You're too modest, you know that? Of course it's important. If something is bothering you, I want you to talk to me about it. At least then you can get it off your chest." Now this took her by complete surprise, having not heard anything remotely like that in such a long time.
Well, perhaps that was a bit of an exaggeration. Serenity and Jacob told her that, whenever she allowed it to be obvious that something was bothering her. In all honesty, though she knew that they were telling the truth about being there for her, she didn't feel as though she could talk to them about everything.
There were very, very few people she felt she could truly talk to about her true inner feelings. At least, there were few people that she felt would actually hear and listen to what she had to say.
"A- are you sure that you wouldn't be bored with listening to me?"
"Of course not. I like listening to you talk and if you're going to feel better afterwards, I can take a few extra minutes out of my day to listen to your problems." Their eyes locked and she quickly decided that he was telling the truth.
She gave a somewhat embarrassed, but mostly pleased smile.
Someone thought she was important. That her feelings meant something. Someone was willing to listen to her. And she felt as though she could talk to him too. At least about something like this. After all, the issue did involve him.
Her confused feelings could finally be released. If only part of them. At least some of the tension would be released. Maybe she could relax for a change then.
"Well, if you say so…" She whispered, looking around her mind for a few moments in an attempt to find the right words to pose her question.
"…this is a little embarrassing, but…I haven't really felt like this before and…" The girl flushed again and Light smiled softly.
"Well, in all honesty, Ren-chan, I haven't felt like this before either." Well, that was true.
He had never felt like this before himself and by placing himself in her shoes, he could only imagine how she felt. A small, awkward girl who had never been in any sort of relationship like this before. Though Light typically hadn't had any feelings for those previous "girlfriends", it was safe to say that he had much experience in this field.
Peace flushed again and smiled nervously before looking up at him.
"R- really? So…I don't look like a complete idiot?"
"Of course not." He ran his thumb along her cheek gently and lightly kissed her again.
"I understand. Really. In fact, I was about to ask you something myself…though I think you may be beating me to it."
"H- huh?" She was taken off guard for a moment before her face flushed red all over again.
Light smiled affectionately and continued, taking the hint that she was more than flustered and therefore unable to continue what she had been trying to say.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that…you were going to ask what we were to each other, weren't you? Well, I was going to ask you…if you'd like to be my girlfriend?" Her mind stumbled over the words she was hearing before completely failing and coming up blank.
She stared at him, eyes wide, and her cheeks tinged with the light color of pink.
Though it had been indeed what she was trying to ask, the very thought itself was…unfathomable to say in the least.
He wanted to be something else? To make this…"romantic" relationship official? Of course, despite truly wanting this much herself, the logical half of her was telling her that saying "yes" was not going to be a good idea. Yet, her childish need for affection was shouting the word over and over again in her mind.
Typically, Peace was confused and conflicted with exactly what to do. Though this had been the original idea, she was afraid of what others would think of her were she to follow what her heart was telling her. Especially one person in particular.
Mello.
Despite the such strong feelings she felt for Light, Peace recognized that she still felt strongly for Mello as well. The idolizing feelings she had for her "friend" as a child were still there as she assumed they would always be.
What he thought of her was important. Though his thoughts should have been considered unimportant at this time.
After all, she was L. Technically. She'd taken up his name and his role in the world, though she somewhat feared the title still.
So many lives in her hands. So many lives that relied on her to save them. So many lives that relied on her to not make a mistake and get them killed, as well as herself.
At this point, Peace could only rely on herself to keep herself alive. If she slipped up, she would more than likely die. She really wasn't looking forward to breaking the vows and promises she had made to those she cared about.
The logical voice went on and on about the reasons why she shouldn't do this. The soft, gentle, logical voice that was proving everything that the childish voice was shouting, idiotic.
However, there was a slight issue with that.
"I- I would like that very much, Light-kun…" He smiled and brought his lips to hers once again.
The logical voice was soft. Too soft. It could not be heard over the loud shouting of the childish voice.
Pulling away, it was very much obvious that he was just as pleased as she was confused. Still, that quickly faded as he murmured words of equal affection in a low whisper by her ear. Words that she never thought she would hear in her lifetime from anyone.
It made her so happy. More happy than she could ever possibly hope to convey. The very fact that someone truly cared about her made her feel so warm on the inside. Warmer than she'd ever thought she would ever feel.
"I know it hasn't been very long…" He whispered softly.
"…but I think I might love you…" Love.
He…was possibly growing to love her. There was only one who she had known to love her, despite the lack of verbal words. She still had the written form. And she had the memories of how he had gazed at her.
L loved her.
Now, it was quite possible that Light was in love with her as well. Of course, the version of love was much different as L had looked at her with more of a brotherly love in his eyes than anything else. Peace was quite certain that the version of love Light was possibly feeling was in a romantic fashion. Not brotherly.
She once had only hoped to hear such words of affection from another. Of course, that other being one specific person. Now, she had all but given up on hearing such words, kneeling to the fact that Mello was too caught up with his own goals to care about something as insignificant as "love". But that wouldn't change her feelings.
It only gave her the knowledge that moving on - as he had four years ago - was the most she could possibly manage. Though, it seemed that she had a habit of giving her heart to not the most appropriate person.
"L- Light-kun…a- are you sure?" If he repeated it, she would need to stare intensely into his eyes and watch his every movement.
Being able to read his body language would be sure to give away whether or not the one she was growing to care so much about, felt the same about her. Body language and subtle movements were one's dead giveaway.
Such as the twitch her fingers tended to develop when she was telling a lie. It was almost unnoticeable and only few people knew about it. Save for Near and L, and quite possibly Matt.
Again, the affectionate smile came and another kiss was placed to her skin. This time, however, it was not to her lips, but to her forehead. A simple gesture, indicating true affection.
Instead of her skin flushing red, Peace paled visibly. Unsure of truly how to react. However, she soon relaxed and closed her eyes to further show her vulnerability with the situation. On cue, Light's hand moved back to caress her face, brushing strands of her red streaked hair from her eyes along the way.
"Hmm, I'm very sure, Ren-chan. These feelings will more than likely only intensify with each moment we spend together." After all, a god would need a goddess would he not?
Though he had told Misa the same thing, Kira was certain that the blonde model was not the right one to claim that position. The only one that could possibly be in that position by his side, was Ren Hideki.
She not only looked like such a goddess, but her personality would suit as well. Though she was attempting to put a stop to Kira the only way she knew how, Ren had a strong sense of justice. A kind sense of justice as well. He recognized that many despised Kira. Those that were stupid and had their own conceited version of justice - not unlike that of L's - hated him. Ren did not.
He was the god of justice, whilst she was the goddess.
Kira and Peace - the perfect name he had just decided upon. Different, but similar all the same. Though they went about getting justice in different ways, it was evident that the end goal of them both were the same. They both wanted a perfect world that involved no more violence, death, crime.
Another reason she would be the perfect goddess for Kira. Another reason he would truly win her over and persuade her to join his side.
Peace opened her eyes and smiled up at Light sweetly.
"As long as you're certain…it's possible that I feel…similar. It's quite difficult to explain, actually…" Now it was more than nice to hear those words.
It meant that he was succeeding. That he was further weaving himself into her heart. Exactly what he wanted.
"Well, that's understandable. You can be completely open with me about your feelings, alright?" Open about her feelings?
If only it was that easy.
Her fingers twitched as she spoke.
"I'll make sure to do that, Light-kun." He offered her a smile of his own.
"That's good. Now, are you ready to go home?"
--
He could hardly believe his ears. His eyes even.
Matt slowly left the café after Yagami and Peace, pulling out another cigarette and lighting it up with Super Mario Bros. lighter he had stored in his jeans' pocket. It was at a distance that he followed, making sure to act casually, despite his pulsing questions and slight…not so slight frustration with the situation.
They were holding hands again, but in his opinion that was nothing compared to the words and affections that had just been shared.
Apparently, he wasn't noticed as he leaned up against the wall of the hotel building and took a final drag on his cigarette as Yagami and the girl entered the lobby. After several moments, he watched as they exchanged goodbyes.
He wasn't all that surprised as she shied away briefly, only to have the Yagami…suspect lightly place a kiss to her lips. Matt also wasn't surprised that it didn't take her very long to break out in a heavy blush before leaning up on her tip-toes to return the kiss.
Patiently - fighting the urge to kick ass Mortal Combat style - the gamer waited until Yagami was gone from the building before he snuck inside. By this point in time, Peace had made it to her hotel room.
"Hey…can you give me the room number for a "Ren Hideki"?" It wasn't all that surprising that his Japanese was flawless.
He was a genius from Wammy's after all. Just because he had a habit to not act like it, didn't mean he hadn't mastered the basic skills that Mello had forced upon him. Well, that, and he figured that learning different languages would come in handy for trying out different video games from all over the world.
Though, it was safe to say that learning Swahili hadn't really helped him yet.
"Room 234, Sir."
"Ah, thanks, Ma'am." Had the circumstances been different, he probably would have been flirting with the hotel clerk.
She was hot, needless to say. However, he needed to focus more on Peace. And attempt to keep his cool so he wouldn't pull a Mello, sad to say.
It was important to come into this with an open mind and a clear open mind, at that.
--
The door to the suite clicked softly closed behind her as she entered. A large smile was across her face. Something Peace hadn't properly worn in what felt like years.
Perhaps she had some regrets about this current situation she had put herself in, but when she felt so good it didn't seem to matter. Something that felt so good, couldn't be wrong. Could it?
Quickly, she pushed the negative questions to the back of her mind as she stepped forwards. Judging by the silence of the large room, Peace could only assume that Jacob and Serenity were still fast asleep. Frankly, that was preferred at the moment as she wouldn't have to explain herself.
"…what the hell was that?!" Or, maybe she wasn't that lucky.
Instinctively, upon hearing the voice, the teenage girl spun around. Having had spent much of her younger years in the company of L, he had ground the knowledge of self-defence into her brain. It was typical, that when startled, she would spring into action.
So, it didn't take long for Peace to thrust a hard kick into the gut of her unauthorized visitor. A grunt indicated that they had hit the ground and she blindly flipped them onto their stomach before pulling their arms behind them. Her foot was placed into the middle of their back, keeping them pinned despite her lack in body weight.
After all, size didn't have anything to do with it. As long as you hit the right pressure points and hold them in the right position, that was all that mattered. Human beings always submitted when they were feeling the pain.
Her chest heaved heavily and her eyes flashed dangerously for just a brief moment before it registered with her who she had pinned to the ground.
"M- Matt…?" She was so stunned that she entirely forgot the position she had him in.
The left side of his face was completely against the carpeted floor, his eyes screwed shut as his current…position was more than painful. It was embarrassing.
"Nng…y- yeah…c- could you let me go now?" He hadn't expected that sort of reaction at all.
Especially not since she had reacted so calmly the last time he'd snuck up on her. Though, he supposed his reflection in the window had helped then. And his tone was more comforting than annoyed.
Quickly, without saying another word, Peace released her friend and helped him to his feet. Not long after, giving him a gentle hug. It took several minutes for him to register what was happening and his previous frustrations were forgotten as he returned her hug.
Really, it was entirely impossible to keep annoyed with her. Besides, she'd explain herself…surely. If he pestered her enough. He'd already decided that he wasn't going to go anywhere until he got the answers to his questions.
And Mello's questions too.
"I- I'm so sorry…b- but you snuck up on me…" Mental note: Don't sneak up on women as they are likely to be able to kick your fucking ass when frightened.
He laughed nervously and pulled out of the hug, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Ah, well…" Matt trailed off, remembering why he'd come.
Peace seemed to remember too, as the small girl peered up at him with large stormy eyes. They conveyed her confusion, even before she spoke her question.
"Wh- why did you…?"
"…uh…" Damn, this was turning out to be harder than he though it would be.
Luckily, Peace was a fucking genius and always had been quick to pick up on things. Her eyes widened and she flushed deeply in what was either embarrassment or shame, Matt wasn't certain. Though, it became more obvious when she turned away from him and began to fiddle with the hem of her shirt.
"Y- you were following me and Light-kun…" She should have noticed!
But…she was too distracted with Light's affections and unspoken words. She was really turning out to be a horrible detective. Hell, she'd known this would happen…why hadn't L seen it before he planned it for her?
Matt sighed.
"Yeah…"
"H- how much did you see? Hear?" It was obvious, given his bursting question, that he had seen much more than she had wanted anyone to see.
Heard much more than she had wanted anyone to hear.
"Enough to know that you're…" He trailed off, realizing that he was about to call her an idiot.
Mello's favorite insult for her.
Peace caught onto this quickly as well, her eyes widening and filling up with tears. Luckily, she didn't turn to face Matt as he would have more than likely felt much more guilt for his unspoken words had he seen her expression.
"…an idiot? I know…" She finished his sentence for him, though, which still ended up extending his guilt.
She had heard the word enough to know just how true it was.
"Peace…"
"…hm?" The tears were pushed back and she turned to face her copper haired companion, taking immediate notice that he had his goggles atop his head.
His eyes held the most sympathetic look to them.
"This isn't like you. What's going on?" The girl blinked several times before offering a smile.
"I made a vow, Matt, to put an end to Kira's reign. For L…" He had a feeling that there was more to the story, but judging by the look in her eyes, she believed what she was saying.
Still, he had a sense for these things. Peace was confused. Upset. Yet, seeing as she had placed herself in this position, surely there was some sort of plan that went with it.
"And Yagami?"
"It's all part of my plan. Of course…my growing feelings are an obstacle…" Damn it, this was beginning to piss him off.
She was talking like L would. To make her actions seem as if it was all part of her plan, whatever the hell it was. He wanted the truth. From Peace, not from some fake L. Though he could only assume how she would be feeling in her new position. Though it was her fault…technically, the pressure must have been intense. And certainly, Mello probably had an impact on this.
"Stop talking like that. Talk like Peace and not like L." He watched as she flinched at his tone before peering back up at him.
L.
Was she…really talking like him? She hadn't noticed. Though with all on her mind, she was certain that could also play a part in it.
"H- huh?"
"Peace, I'm not sure what the hell is going on with you…" He didn't, that was true enough.
"…but this isn't like you. You spent all of your time at Wammy's trying to avoid this position, yet, here you are. You've actually accepted this…"
"And how would you know?" She asked harshly, her eyes now hardened as they stared into his.
Immediately, Matt felt his body go rigid. Staring into those eyes could scare the living shit out of anybody. Even he recognized that. Those soul-searching, L-like eyes…
And then…it hit him. Like a brick, actually. Everything came together.
"There is more to this!" He exclaimed, pointing at her.
"Something that no one else knows! That you're keeping secret! And it's not what I saw today, is it?! It's something else…" Those eyes.
The pale complexion of her skin. The messy hair. The way she tended to speak when lost in thought. Her genius in general.
Peace felt her fingers twitch as she stared back, her eyes remaining hard. He noticed the twitch from the corner of his eye.
Her giveaway.
"I don't know what you're talking about. There is no…"
"Don't lie to me, Peace. Even if you won't tell me what it is…" Though he already had a feeling to what it was.
"…at least tell me the truth. Maybe you don't owe me anything, but I thought we were friends." Family, in a way.
Matt recognized that. As kids, the three of them had been inseparable. Really, he knew what happened to change it all. Kira. Mello's inability to control his temper. L's death.
She stared up at him, nibbling gently on her bottom lip. Once again, she was grateful for the fact that Serenity and Jacob would not hear any of this. It was important for her to keep it quiet.
Her eyes softened, becoming close to tears before she spoke.
"I…I'm sorry…" She whispered.
Peace trusted Matt. She trusted him with her life. As she trusted Mello and Near. She could tell him. She could tell them, as she had told Near. After all, she would have had sooner she known their whereabouts…
The only ones she would not tell. Serenity, Jacob - as telling them would put them in danger - and Light Yagami. As he was a suspect and she did not trust him with the lives of her companions, she refused to tell him.
"…it's fine, Peace. Just tell me what the hell is going on. I won't tell Mello, hell knows how he'll react…" At the mention of Mello's name, the girl looked down.
The word "coward" echoed through her mind. A word she hadn't thought of in weeks. Not since they had been temporarily reunited back in Los Angeles.
And again, she was reminded of her mistakes. Her failures. Her cowardice.
If he found out her deepest secret - other than her relationship with Light - he would probably truly despise her. She couldn't have that. To have him hate her forever wasn't what she wanted. She needed to prove that she was none of those things to him first.
"…promise?" As long as Mello didn't find out yet, everything would be okay and she could pull everything off.
A simple nod was her response and that was when she delved into the detailed explanation. The detailed feelings of negativity she felt when she was alone, but the such positive feelings she felt when she was in Light's company.
With Matt, she felt that he would never judge her. That she could truly speak with him openly, very much like she would have spoken to L. Her sudden realization of exactly how strong her relationship with Matt occurred upon the moment she finished speaking.
She regarded him as her brother. As someone she could count on when she needed them. As someone she could turn to when she needed to speak.
Most certainly, she was unable to speak to herself nowadays and she couldn't risk returning to L's grave. Not with her relationship with Light growing to such a high level. To do such a thing and be caught would cause her to lose everything she had been working towards. Though she was now technically Light's girlfriend, it was impossible for her to ignore her duties as "L". That was something she was trying to get around.
Which she had thoroughly explained to Matt.
The silence between them stretched on. With her explanation -including her secret - exposed, there was nothing more for her to say. All that was left to do was wait and see what Matt would have to say.
"…that…explains everything…" He murmured, staring at her with sympathetic eyes.
To really be so confused about herself…her feelings. He would admit that he would never understand that. Especially since she was now under so much pressure. The need to prove herself had grown and she could barely comprehend why.
Peace blinked and looked up at him, waiting for the rest of his response.
Sadly, despite being comfortable with telling Matt everything, she hadn't truly told him everything. Purposely, she kept her inward feelings for Mello secret. It was best that no one knew about those, but herself. To risk him discovering them…she couldn't. Sure, she wanted it to be out in the open, but it was something she wasn't going to risk everything for.
Mello didn't need to know. No one needed to know. More sympathy would only come and she didn't need anymore.
Besides, it would be a waste of words. Mello didn't love her in any way, shape, or form. In his eyes, she was nothing, but the loyal follower he relied on. She could and would continue to give her heart to him - as much as she could - while expecting nothing in return. While knowing she would get nothing in return.
Whether she wanted it or not, didn't matter. She already knew what she was going to get if she put it out on the table.
Absolutely nothing.
Peace's eyes went wide as arms suddenly wrapped around her and pulled her into a strong chest. It didn't take long for her to comprehend that Matt was hugging her. A warm, comforting hug that she had needed oh-so-desperately.
Her eyes closed and she leaned against him, smiling faintly.
"…you can do this, Peace." Matt assured her.
"You can do anything. Just because you're "L", doesn't mean that you're actually "L", okay? You don't have to be anything like him. Just be yourself. You're smart enough. Maybe a little soft…but you're still strong in your own way." And those words were all she really needed.
Words of encouragement. Strength.
Words that L should have been speaking to her, but wasn't because he was dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.
Perhaps that was something she wasn't ready to accept as easily as it had first seemed.