Note: Again ye faithful reviewers thank you for your time and words.
Chapter Fourteen
Knowing Me, Knowing Her
Marissa left the den to go get Erica her cup of Earl Grey. Bianca sat on the large couch expecting her mother to sit as close as possible because that was Erica's way.
"What's going on Bianca?"
The younger woman took a deep breath.
"Miranda found out how she was conceived."
Erica gasped.
"The poor baby is she okay? Where is she now?"
"She's upstairs with Kendall. I don't know if she's okay Mom, this wasn't how she was supposed to find out. She's been so withdrawn and sad and we didn't know why until Kendall put it all together. She's known since Saturday Mom, all week she's been carrying this horrible secret around letting it hurt her more and more and we didn't even know."
"How? I mean who told her?"
"Her opponent at the soccer game."
"Why would anyone especially a teenager do such a thing?"
Bianca sighed.
"Because she was better than him and he didn't stand a chance any other way than playing dirty."
Erica watched her daughter's expressive eyes begin to glisten again.
"Oh baby I'm so sorry, this must be torturing you."
Bianca shook her head.
"I'm okay it's Mimo who matters."
"No Bianca you both matter."
Erica waited until her daughter looked at her before she continued.
"Don't take Miranda's pain and make it yours, you already have enough of your own. And this will bring it all back. Her questions. Her anger. Her hatred will bring it all back."
Bianca shook her head.
"No Mom I won't let this eat away at her, she won't suffer under the weight of Michael Cambias's actions."
Erica sighed sadly.
"That isn't something you can control sweetheart."
/
Marissa was heading back to the den when Bianca tore from the room in a state.
"What the? Baby?"
Glistening brown eyes silently pleaded, Marissa nodded in acceptance of the unasked question watching in dismay as her partner ran down the hallway to their room.
"Erica what just happened?"
Erica Kane did not care for the tone Marissa used and told her as much in the stare she sent the younger woman's way; she wasn't terribly surprised when Marissa glared right back.
"Erica what did you say to her?"
"I told her the truth."
"What truth? Oh God Erica tell me you didn't mention Maggie."
The older woman scolded.
"What? You mean you know about Maggie and you haven't told Bianca? Since when did you two keep secrets Marissa?"
The lawyer set the cup of tea down next to all the other untouched drinks.
"This is not about Maggie, this is about Bianca and Miranda two people I would gladly walk through hell to prevent hurting. Finding out about Maggie would hurt them."
"They're going to find out. For heaven's sake Marissa it's going to be splashed all over the papers once that verdict comes back."
"But that isn't right now, that isn't this evening. Maggie chose not to tell them because she cares more about them than she does herself so let's respect that and her. Okay."
Erica didn't respond and Marissa's ire quickened.
"I said okay Erica."
The older woman glared across at her.
"Ok fine."
/
"I hate him."
Miranda's eyes were blazing now but tears were threatening again dimming the fire within.
"I hate what he did to Mom, how he hurt her like that."
"I know Mimo and it's normal to feel that way. You're going to be angry and bitter, you're going to hate him for that and for making you doubt yourself. You're going to feel so much and so raw that it will be hard. But we'll be here for you every single step of the way, we'll help you through this. Just know one thing, there is nothing absolutely nothing about you that isn't perfect just the way you are."
The tears toppled from Miranda's eyes as her aunt held out her arms again. Kendall soothed as best she could.
"I look at Mom and I just want to cry."
"I know and you probably feel like you can't because you don't want her to see it."
"Yeah but I think maybe she knows. It's like she seems to hear my thoughts because every time I look at her and think about what he did and how hard it must be for her to look at me and like me she just turns right round and out of nowhere tells me how much she loves me. How I can tell her anything."
Kendall smiled.
"That's because you can sweetie, you can tell your Mom anything in the world and it won't change a single thing for her. You are her miracle Miranda, the baby she has loved from the moment she found out you were growing inside her."
"But she must have hated me, I'm proof of what he did to her."
"No no not at all. Mimo Binks doesn't see it like that. You're innocent, that's what she always said. You were an innocent born out of something beyond your control and hers."
"I don't want to hurt her."
"How could you ever hurt her?"
Miranda pulled away.
"Promise not to hate me?"
Kendall wiped at her niece's cheek.
"Come on Mimo this is me you're talking to, how could I ever hate you?"
"Promise please aunt K just promise."
"I promise never to hate you."
The teenager took a shaky breath and tried to hold her aunt's gaze.
"I have this whole other part of me that I don't know about. I mean I know that family are the people you love and who love you but there's this other half to me that comes from somewhere else."
Kendall tried not to let her smile falter as her niece's eyes pleaded for understanding.
"I want to know who I really am."
/
Maggie couldn't hide her frown from Gabrielle.
"Does that mean you can't help Mimo find her smile?"
"Is that question number four?"
The little girl shook her head fervently.
"No that one wasn't on my list."
"But we're not using your list now Gabby, a deal is a deal five questions max remember?"
"But it doesn't work like that because you never answered and that's why I had to ask again. Now if I ask if you're going to answer then you're just going to say that's another question. That isn't fair Maggie."
Maggie laughed.
"What do you want to be when you grow up Gabby?"
"A fashion designer like aunt K."
"Huh fancy that I had you pegged as a lawyer like Marissa."
Gabrielle shook her head.
"No way Ma gets all sad when the people she's trying to help don't listen to her. She wants to help them but they don't want to help themselves. Mom's like that too, when she comes back from the Miranda Centre sometimes her eyes are so full of sadness that it takes hugs from all five of us to cheer her up again. Mimo's hugs sometimes work the best though, see she's the best big sister and the best big daughter."
Maggie wondered if maybe Gabrielle Montgomery felt a little inferior to her big sister and the place Miranda had in their mother's life.
"You know Gabby Miranda is the only big daughter, I bet your mom thinks you are the best middle daughter and Lydia is the best little daughter."
Gabrielle grinned.
"Yeah she does. I think you're going to make a cool friend for Ma cause she says the same thing."
Maggie was surprised at how good it felt being in the same league as Marissa.
"Your Ma sounds like she might make a cool friend too."
"She will, she's really fun. She likes doing all the things we like doing like going to the park and playing soccer. But she doesn't like horses. I think she's a little afraid of them but she never tells Mom that because she knows how much Mom loves them. Ma always does things like that, making sure Mom is happy, making sure we're all happy. But she doesn't know how to get Mimo's smile back and that's making Ma sad and Mom sad and me sad. Can you get it back? Please?"
/
Downstairs in the master suite Bianca sat at the bottom of the bed trying not to cry at the conversation playing out on the bedside monitor.
"Baby please don't let your mother get to you."
Marissa came to a stop just inside the doorway of their bedroom her eyes reading the gesture to be quiet as her mind tried to decipher why; she couldn't see Bianca's cell phone and knew the house line had no speaker option.
"Huh?"
"I'm not going to make you any promises Gabby but I'm going to try. I'm going to try real hard to help bring Mimo's smile back and make you not sad anymore."
Maggie's voice sounded like she might be somewhere in the room but Marissa knew it was coming from the monitoring device in the girls room. Her eyes met Bianca's in alarm, they were eavesdropping.
"Bianca?"
"I know I know it's wrong but it's Gabby. Our Gabby telling Maggie that she's worried about Miranda."
Marissa didn't like it.
"We're eavesdropping."
"Not on a private conversation, Marissa our daughters are hurting and they're not telling us. Did Gabby talk to you about this?"
Marissa shook her head and walked across to take a seat next to her emotional partner.
"Bianca things are all over the place right now what with Lydia being in hospital and only one of us being here. The girls will open up to us when things get back to normal….."
"Question number four are you going to try to take Mom away from Ma?"
Bianca and Marissa stared at each other in shock.
/
Miranda's eyes were pools of pain as she watched for her aunt's reaction but Kendall gave none at all, no gasp, no frown, no rapid blinking none of the things that Miranda had expected. All week she'd thought about her Mom and the pain she'd been through, Miranda didn't want to cause more pain but there were all these things about herself that she needed to know. Things that might be because of him, because of the other DNA that ran through her veins.
"Will you help me?"
Kendall soothed her niece's cheek.
"On one condition."
The teenager nodded.
"You tell your Mom what we're doing and why."
Miranda's reaction was visceral, her head swinging from side to side as she pulled away from the comfort of her aunt's hug.
"No! No way! She can't know, I can't do that to her. Aunt K don't you understand what I'm saying? I want to know about the person who hurt her."
Kendall got up and crossed the room to the agitated teen, her hands reaching to settle on Miranda's upper arms forcing eye contact.
"Trust me on this Mimo if you go behind your Mom's back you're going to hurt her so much worse than you think. There's a lot you don't know sweetie, a lot that your Mom is going to want to talk to you about."
Tears gathered again in eyes too young to deal with this nightmare.
"I love Mom I don't want to hurt her."
Kendall pulled the distraught girl into her arms feeling slender hands cling to her.
"Then be honest with her Mimo because anything less will devastate her."
/
Maggie felt her tear ducts begin to sting at the earnestness on Gabrielle's young face. Had her reappearance brought all this doubt to the young girl?
"No Gabby no I'm not going to take your Mom away from Marissa. Why would you think that?"
Gabrielle shrugged.
"Cause Mommy Reese always said that Mom couldn't let go of you, that Mom can never really let go of anyone."
Maggie considered the words for several moments before settling on the best way forward.
"You have a really special Mom Gabby who has a heart as big as DNAville."
Gabrielle chuckled.
"And I guess sometimes people with big hearts can love many many people all at the same time. But there is a different kind of love between your Mom and Marissa, it's brighter and fuller and makes them both shine inside."
"You mean the sparkly eyed love?"
Maggie grinned.
"Yeah exactly the sparkly eyed love, you can see it when they look at each other. And when two people have that kind of love no one can come take the other away because they're meant to be together for always."
"But didn't you have that with Mom?"
The doctor wondered just where the kid got her smarts because eight was much too young to know to ask these questions.
"Your Mom was my best friend Gabby, the bestest friend I've ever had and I loved her so much. I still do but I guess if things didn't work out then it wasn't the sparkly eyed love."
Gabrielle stared into Maggie's eyes so intently that the older woman was convinced she was reading her soul.
"Have you found your sparkly eyed love?"
Maggie's throat ran dry at the question.
/
Marissa reached across and hurriedly turned the monitor off. Bianca looked at her in consternation.
"Why did you do that?"
"Because she answered the questions that were important to Gabby and we know our little girl is okay with that."
Wide brown eyes searched Marissa's face.
"Ok but weren't you just a little bit curious if Maggie and Mrs Dubois have the sparkly eyed love?"
Marissa got up off the bed.
"I think maybe one of us should get back to your Mom."
Bianca made no effort to move and Marissa turned back to look at her. Those wide brown eyes were studying the lawyer in a way that was hard to ignore.
"And I think maybe there is something you're not telling me."
Marissa closed her eyes and tried to think; when she opened them again Bianca's eyes had grown more worried.
"There is but I'm bound by client attorney privilege."
Bianca hated hearing that phrase; it meant that whatever was on her lover's mind would not pass her lips no matter how badly Marissa needed to talk about it.
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
Marissa shook her head, her eyes showing the weight of whatever it was she could not talk about. Bianca thought it best to change the topic.
"Maggie thinks being your friend would be cool."
Marissa choked back a chuckle at her partner's poor attempt to sound like Gabrielle, it was enough to get the brunette smiling.
"How long were you listening?"
"From the moment I came in here, Gabby was being adorable with her questions and I just needed to hear some innocuous conversation to take my mind off everything."
The lawyer could understand that.
"You and Erica are not the same Bianca, her experiences are hers alone and she's going to come from their perspective rather than yours. You're different baby, you've always been a better person, stronger and braver than anyone I've ever known."
Bianca held out her hand watching as the redhead crossed the room to take it. No one knew her like Marissa did, sometimes Bianca genuinely believed her partner knew her better than she knew herself.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. Are you up to coming back in?"
The brunette got to her feet stepping closer to her smaller lover.
"I love you."
Marissa smiled.
"The sparkly eyed kinda love?"
Bianca chuckled softly closing the distance between them to capture those smiling lips for a gentle kiss.
"The for always kind."