Part 14: Parting and the Picnic

"John! John! No!"

John jolted from a deep sleep to find Margaret screaming out his name frantically. He quickly gathered her up into his arms and held her close he tried to bring her out of the nightmare she was having.

"You stay away from him!"

Her pleas became angry as she began to pound at John's chest and it was then that he started to shake her awake, "Maggie stop! It's me John! Wake up!"

Breathing heavily her eyes opened and she focused on his face and reality cleared her dark dream and she instantly wrapped her arms around his neck almost strangling him with her extreme anxiety.

He took her arms and loosened them slightly from his neck so he could breath better. The woman had a fierce strength in her petite body which he was sure she was not aware of.

He tried to lighten the moment with humor, "Margaret, beating and strangling your husband in bed will not do."

It didn't work. Her face pressed into his night shirt gave way to sobs of anguish. He lifted her face and looked deeply into her moist eyes and gave her one of his reassuring grins to no avail.

"Ah Maggie." Was all he could say as he started to kiss her lightly all over her face and smooth away the hair that got in the way.

It had been the first nightmare since they were married a fortnight ago. John could only attribute its sudden appearance because that evening he informed her that he was returning to Milton the next day.

After he told her she went silent but he could tell she was dreading the moment. He asked her if she wanted to talk about it but she just lowered her eyes and shook her head to continue her letter to Fredrick. John knew she was withdrawing into her little shell. He wished she would let her feelings go so they could confront them together.

Now the nightmare…

Pressing her head back to his chest, "Maggie, I will be safe. I will return to you."

"No stay John. I don't want you to go. If I could beg for one thing for all my life it would be to beg you not to go. Not now. Another week."

He pulled her back and hand pushed aside her hair and thumb wiped the tears that were starting to fall, "Maggie…" He drew her down back into laying position with his arms securely locked around her, "…please don't make this any harder for me than what it already is. I have to see the progress in the investigation and Higgins needs my help."

"I know I am being selfish but…I…I…"

"Selfish? You are the least selfish person I know. You fear for me. That is not selfish." He kissed the top of her head and tightened his hold on her.

Her arms and hands wound around his one arm and clutched it possessively to herself, "I fear for you yes but more I just don't want to be without you. I am being selfish John. I can't imagine you not beside me in the night and waking with me in the morning."

Margaret now knew what her parents had in their marriage. That pure love that two people could share together. Her mind kept on remembering her father speaking to her mother lying on her death bed as if she was still alive and listening. John couldn't guarantee he would be safe and she had to wonder…would that be her talking to John lying on his.

Two weeks and she knew now what it meant to be completely as one in marriage in mind, body and soul. Hearts melded together to beat as one. She felt a part of her husband in every sense of the word as he did her. To part with him under these dangerous circumstances was almost unbearable.

"If that be the case, then I am very selfish as well."

"John…then…"

His tone hardened slightly, "Don't ask me Maggie. I have to go."

He turned her over onto her back and laid himself over her shaking body. His struggle with his raging emotions were very apparent as he took her face into his hands and tenderly kissed the tears that were trailing down her cheeks.

He huskily whispered her name as he, with all gentleness and devotion in the entire fiber of his being, made love to her that left her clinging desperately to him not wanting their intimate bond to be parted.

It nearly drove him to tears himself at her desperation and need for him. He felt it acutely himself for her.

Her own emotions exhausted her and it wasn't long after he managed to sooth her into a deep but troubled sleep in his arms.

He tried to sleep himself but found he couldn't and at the first rays of the morning light he kissed her now peaceful face; his lips lingering on her smooth skin wanting nothing more but to have her wake up and see her smiling sleepily at him.

Instead he carefully extracted himself from his wife's sleeping form; dressed quickly and returned to the bedside to pull the quilt up to cover her up more to make up from the absence of his warm body from hers.

For a moment he just stood looking down at her as she slept detailing every inch of her to his mind stopping only as the fading scar on her delicate neck came into his view. His eyes smoldered angrily. Bending down he gently touched her exposed cheek with the back of his hand and whispered in a low voice, "I love you."

Picking up the black suit jacket he flung it over his shoulder, turned and walked out of the room.

Margaret woke to find him gone.

She was ashamed of her begging and regretted causing him more pain in him leaving. So much so that he felt he had to leave before she woke. Why couldn't she be the strong for him? She wanted nothing more than to relive the night before and be supportive in his decision.

Now she felt helpless while her husband had to deal with so much. She could have least sent him off with a smile and encouragement. Her eyes watered and she quickly busied herself to prevent them from spilling.

She dressed and started to make their bed noticing his head print in the pillow and it was there that she collapsed back on the bed and hugged his pillow to herself taking in his familiar masculine scent. As she cried softly she spoke fervently to God to keep her husband safe and bring him back to her soon.

After the tears dried her mind told her not to be idle and to find a way to help. But what could she do? She lay on their bed for the longest time with mind picking up speed as it raced to find a way.

She wished she could talk to her father. What would he say? He was so analytical in his gentleness. He meditated over the smaller details that were often forgotten making his memory faultless in remembrances. He always said that the smaller details helped to recall easily the larger ones. If only she could remember…

Margaret set up and blinked. She avoided thinking of that night for obvious reasons and never really went over the details. Her father would say write it all down. Over and over again if necessary.

Springing out of bed Margaret sat at her writing desk and took out paper and dipped pen into ink and mentally prepared herself to relive that horrible night in every detail, over and over again until she had every one of her five senses covered and perhaps a sixth sense as well.

John walked into Hamper's office to find Higgins sitting behind the desk bent over some papers. Hearing John enter and looking up his eyes widen in surprise and stood up from the desk and calmly said, "Master. I didn't know you would be coming back today."

"Higgins." John stepped forward and held out his hand to the man who came out from behind the desk. The men clasped hands, "Is all going well since your last update?"

"Yes, at both sites. I take it by the look on your face you've seen Mason already."

John nodded. The investigation was going nowhere.

Mason informed him that he and his men interrogated the names that may be of interest and persons who may possibly hold grudges against him. All that had been located had alibis or were confirmed out of town. Also, after much interviewing with the local townspeople and businesses in the area of the attack, nobody seemed to hear or see anything that night.

The substantial reward offered for information leading to an arrest brought out many sudden witnesses but from which were mostly false or led to dead ends. John's instructions to have Mason look into unsolved murders also led nowhere.

John's frustration was so elevated that he was ready to just do as Margaret had him promised to do if the attacker wasn't found…disappear with her.

And he still had to face his mother. His hand flew up to his forehead to rub the sudden ache that was building. At least the mills seemed to be doing well with Higgins as master. Again, Margaret did a good thing by sending Higgins his way. Sometimes he believed that the woman had more business sense than he.

John looked at the man before him. Higgins had caught on quickly in learning to be master even without a formal education. It really didn't take much due to the fact that Higgins pretty much experience working on every lower level and position in the industry.

Even his Union leadership ironically helped him to transition well into the role of master. The man could delegate well and pass out authority when needed. It was the bookwork that he still needed further instruction. And to see him in a suited jacket like himself, he was transformed as well in appearance.

"And the misses, is she well?"

"Yes but I fear she will not be in good spirits this day."

Higgins nodded knowing immediately why, "I imagine she is not all together glad to be parted from such an attentive husband."

John nodded with a faraway look on his face, "I'm not all together glad to be parted from her attentions as well. She woke in the night fearful for me. First time since we were married."

"Can't see that I blame her considering his threats. Master sit." Higgins indicated to the leather backed chair behind the desk, "I have something that may be of some interest."

This immediately broke his vision of her waking up alone in their bed. He should have stayed until she woke.

Seeing where Higgins wanted him to sit he shook his head, "Higgins, as I said before, the day I wed was the day you became partner and master. That chair is now yours. You earned it."

"Master I don't…"

"Thornton or John. We are equals now."

Higgins grinned still not believing his good fortune, "Well, forgive me if it takes me a while with the new title…sir." Both men grinned, "But master or not, I don't feel myself in these clothes. And the hat, I'll take my cap over it if I could."

"We all have a part to play Higgins. I got a taste of country living and more casual dressing. I found it hard to don the master's jacket and hat again as well this morning."

Higgins chuckled and shook his head, "Maybe in shirt and trousers but a cap? I can't see you in it."

"No cap. Margaret even has that top hat permanently attached to my character."

At that his mind turned back to last week when he followed through on allowing his wife to take him on his first picnic.

She was transformed in a simple country dress and her hair worn down with a ribbon tying the most unruly of strands in back and him in basic brown trousers and white shirt…no hat or cap.

You wouldn't believe, as a casual observer, that he was a hardened tradesman just turned thirty the month before and she a prim and proper reserved gentle lady of three and twenty. The both had an air of young first love. Together they both embarked on a pleasant afternoon together.

To John, it would be the best afternoon of his life up to that point for he promised Margaret that there would be more in the future like that for them.

After they leisurely ate and drank wine in the picturesque spot, they found themselves talking about things they wanted to do around their home.

Margaret sat up with legs tucked behind her on the side while John's head rested in her lap. One of her arms laid loosely over his shoulder while her other hand played lightly with his thick black hair. He just couldn't help closing his eyes and letting a deep sigh of contentment escape him.

It was now so hard to believe that he went his entire life without experience such things as a simplistic afternoon picnic, the coolness of a shade tree and sweet smelling air, pleasing sound of birds and brilliant colors of nature, and most of all, a beautiful lady by his side to enjoy it all with.

In reflection, he would not have wanted to experience this first outing with no other woman but his Maggie. He now knew why she coveted Helstone and the south's peaceful and slow paced living. He would gladly get lost happily in it with her forever.

Margaret noticed how quiet he was. Bending down she kissed his forehead lightly, "What are you thinking?"

His eyes opened slowly and lifted to hers, "I want to paint the shutters on the house. Forest green instead of the brown."

Margaret's eyes sparkled, "Now that is something I will need to witness John Thornton."

"You don't think I can do it?"

She laughed sweetly, "I am sure you would do very well. I am having trouble seeing you in your black jacket with paint brush in hand and you dipping it into your top hat filled with green paint."

He laughed back at the picture it made as well, "Perhaps I will surprise you and get a brown coat instead."

"Brown or black, I am sure that you wouldn't let one spot of paint dare to drip on anything that you wore."

He reached up and fingered some of her hair that had fallen forward close to his face, "I believe the thought of Dixon's wrath would be more of a deterrent than anything. I notice how she grumbles on laundry day. She gave me what for when I dirtied my shirt."

"She definitely isn't afraid to speak her mind. Even to you John who can be very intimidating. But she respects you and remembers your kindness to my parents."

"But I wasn't very kind to you."

"Dixon had no idea our animosity towards each other or I am sure she would have been coming after you with the broom."

John laughed at this and his full smile made him look all but seventeen. Margaret will never get over how his smile just transformed his appearance almost completely.

John shook his head slightly, "Intimidating. I was wasn't I?"

"Yes, you were. I imagine you had to be."

"I should never have appeared so before you but you seemed to handle yourself well. It is unfathomable now imagining us being so against each other. Well, more you than me. I always adored you."

Margaret smiled, "Would you have adored me if I wasn't the way I was?"

"I believe I would have. I was blinded by your beauty first and after, irrevocably lost from that day forward."

"For me it was your voice."

John raised his head slightly, "My voice! That day I…"

"Certainly not that first day when you were so angry at that worker." Margaret paused as something in the back of her mind remembered that worker. Something was familiar…

"Margaret?"

Blinking, "No, when you came over for your lessons. Listening to you and my father talk, your voice…it was strong and calming. Remember when I fell asleep?"

John grinned, "I was sure I was so uninteresting and boring."

She bent and kissed his grin, "Boring Mr. Thornton? That is something you will never hear me call you. No, your voice was like a lullaby one moment and the next moment so deep and full of authority. I am sure that if I hadn't felt like I had to disliked you so much, I might have been…well…excited."

"Excited huh? A word I wouldn't have expected from you Mrs. Thornton."

"I believe at the time I didn't even know what the word meant. Now I do."

"I excite you?"

"Yes. From the moment you first kissed me and every day after that."

He chuckled, "When a man excites his wife that cannot be a bad thing. Question is how long can he keep that excitement going?"

"As long as he keeps adoring her."

His hand reached up and touched her cheek, "Then it is settled. Forever."

She answered his touch by moving her cheek into his palm and closing her eyes to feel its warmth. He then drew her head down and kissed her tenderly and both savored the contentment they both were feeling at that moment.

He remembered where their conversation started with him wanting to paint the shutters and took an opportunity to ask her on what she would like to improve on the cottage?

She thought for a moment and shook her head, "Not a thing to our dirty little cottage." John grin widened remembering Fanny's disingenuous description of their home. "But I do want to get down in the dirt again."

His brows rose, "In the dirt?"

"Yes, we had a small garden in Helstone. Mama loved her garden we spent many happy hours there her and I talking and…" Bending her head closer and giving him a beguiling look, "…getting dirty. I would love to grow things again."

"And I was concern that you would mind fluff falling all over your skirts."

"And in my hair, in my eyes, and one can't talk without swallowing…"

John laughed heartily, "Now you know why I rarely eat lunch. But if it is a garden and dirt you want that is what my Maggie will get."

"There I have it. My husband does adore me to allow me the simple joy of playing around in dirt."

"I adore thee with every breath wife."

She kissed him, "You did exchange Plato for poetry. I wonder what father would say to that."

John lips curled up, "He would say that I most likely lost my heart to an extraordinary woman."

"He would have been correct." She said in a matter-in-fact tone as he wrapped a tendril of her dangling hair around his finger.

She became enthusiastic at the prospect of having a vegetable and flower garden again that John could now easily picture her digging in the dirt and weeding. He would not begrudge her the activity and glad that it would occupy a lot of her time while he was away during the day.

He had to grin though as she spoke. There were not many wealthy women who enjoyed playing in the dirt. Also, there were not many heritresses' who were as unselfish as her. Instead of telling him what she wanted to plant she asked him what kinds of vegetables he liked for her to plant for him.

He imagined that the majority of the produce she grew she would immediately give away to less fortunate families in the area. As if on cue she confirmed that was exactly what she planned to do. His eyes lighted with humility at her generous and kind gentle spirit. He still didn't know if he deserved her.

At that he pulled himself up and took her waist and cradled her in his arms telling her as he leaned in to kiss her soft lips that she was sure to have the whole of the county adoring her.

After his lips left hers she smiled and whispered that the only admiration she required to see was in her husband's blue eyes. He kissed her deeply letting his touch tell her that she had it and more.

Breaking from the kiss, he promised to speak to Samual, a gentle middle-aged family man he hired to be the properties grounds keeper and to manage the heavier duties around the household to till some ground for her. They talked about where and both agreed on a spot.

John touched her fair skin and played with her delicate fingers and gently commanded her to wear a wide-brim hat and gloves if she was working in the garden. She didn't mind his concerned command and nodded that she would.

Their conversation turned to talk about getting a small single-horse carriage and a couple horses for him to drive back and forth into Milton during the week. John was then surprised to learn that she use to ride as a young girl.

She told him about their old horse, Bucket, and how she would go out alone and ride him barebacked down in the fields and groves. John couldn't help but ask why the name of Bucket.

She smiled, "We learned shortly after we got him that if you placed a bucket before him, he would kick it. When he became too old to ride Bucket became just like a much beloved loyal dog…just a bit larger. You must imagine how I felt when he actually dif…kick the bucket. I cried for days."

"I don't like thinking of you sad in any way Maggie."

She gave him a light smile.

John could see everything in his mind's eye as she described some of the adventures she and her rather large "dog" had. John made a mental note to ask Samual to be on a look out for a gentle mare for him to surprise her with for riding, as a pet, or both. Seeing her happy was his life's purpose now.

Sadly John didn't have very many pleasant memories he could share with her of his childhood. His father wasn't present much with his business. Fanny and he were always bickering back and forth and his mother just lived for the time when his father did come home.

After his tragic death, he became her obsession, replacing his father. He could see that now and clearly see how unhealthy it had become with the appearance of Margaret in his life. It concerned him deeply.

He did tell her how about many of his exploits when he was in school before his father's death. The tricks he played on professor's he didn't like. Even back then his mind was creative in playing out those tricks and pranks. Some backfired in a comical way that left her laughing and declaring that he certainly deserved his punishment for his naughtiness.

The talk turned a little serious when she asked, once things were normal, how many times he would travel into Milton and he was glad to give her an answer that seemed pleasing to her.

It was less than an hour to get to Milton one way so he said that at least four to five times each week, returning home each evening, but on the most part, he would be left with majority of the book keeping leaving the most of the daily management of the workers at both mills to Higgins and the four overseers that were hired.

John added further that bookkeeping could be done either here or there. He grinned telling her that when children came, it would be mostly done here. He then vowed to her he would not be that absent husband and father that she feared earning him a generous kiss from her.

The day was perfectly warm even for early May and they both found themselves holding each other contently on the quilt that was laid out on the soft mossy grass under the large oak. So content and relaxed that John didn't even think about playing out the other part of his day dream of his first picnic with his wife. Margaret, finding her boldness, was the one who actually initiated the start of their love making.

Her modesty was still present but so secluded was the spot and she not feeling affronted by the birds and various wildlife that witnessed their intimacy, she, for the first time, took control in pleasing her husband by unbuttoning his shirt and slowly peeling it away exposing his chest.

She ran her hands over his ribcage while her soft lips administered higher up just below his shoulders. John had to use a considerable amount of control as her hands found the barrier to his lower half and fumbled with the buttons. Her hands were not steady as her eyes looked up with pleading eyes for his help.

He took her wrists and brought her hands to his lips and kissed each one and then he took command of ridding himself of the rest of his clothes for her.

With her husband anatomy fully exposed to her she continued her exploration and attentions. John delighted in her curiosity. After all, it was in the light of day and not a dimmed bed chamber. John wondered what she was thinking at that moment and asked.

She stopped for a moment and gave him the most sincere look and told him that she was thinking that her husband's body was most beautifully created and formed and very glad that God blessed her with him.

It was John's turn to flush from which Margaret chose not to point out. Her administrations were having the most profound effect on him and she was so pleased that she could so easily stimulate him just as well as he could stimulate her.

He had muscles and broad shoulders of a man that you would think would be on a man that labored hard. She asked him how he became so well toned sitting behind a desk all day long. He grinned at her as she ran her hand over his muscular arms.

"As a younger man I often helped with the loading and unloading of shipments. I liked the labor. Still do from time to time when we were short manpower. But in recent years, I worked out. Punching and lifting the raw cotton bales late at night."

She looked up at him incredulously, "You what?"

"I had to beat out some of the frustration of not having you in my life and when I finally had you, I would go and punch out the frustration of well…not having you completely." Margaret got his meaning immediately.

He continued, "Late at night when I couldn't sleep I went to the warehouse, wrapped my knuckles, took off my jacket and shirt and just started punching and when my knuckles got too sore, I would lift bales up and down."

Her fingers trailed down from his arms to his chest, "Do you think you need to still go and strike those poor cotton bales?"

His eyes twinkled mischievously, "Yes."

"Whatever for? Surely you are no longer frustrated."

He grabbed her hand and rolled her over so he was peering down in her face. His black hair fell forward shadowing his eyes enough to make them the darkest of blues, "No my Maggie, no longer frustrated. I am the happiest I have ever been in my life but the need to keep the strength is even more important than ever. Want to know why."

She quivered at the way he spoke with such a low and seductive voice. He drew his finger around her chin and up across her lips, "I need the strength about me to hold you tightly in my arms, keep you safe and eventually hold our children which…" His fingers started to work on the buttons of the lower half of her dress's bodice, "…I plan on working on creating this very moment."

Margaret gasped in pleasure as his warm hand reached inside and ran across her smooth midriff and up along her ribcage just under her breast.

"In February of next year Maggie, I hope to hold our first child in my arms and I want this place to be the place we say that child was conceived."

Her hands reached up to thread themselves through his hair, "I want that too John." She drew his face down to hers and looked deeply into his eyes, "Fill me with yourself. I want your child inside of me."

Her words started his heart thundering and stirred up such passion and desire in him and he bent and started to hungrily kiss her mouth.

Soon, they both were skin on skin and John pushed aside the guidance and "hints" and took full command of her body and senses. He worked her to that peek of possession and she acquiesced eagerly to his every demand but he held back until she was writhing under him for satisfaction.

He then held her face and commanded her to open her eyes. She complied and their passion-filled eyes locked, "Maggie. Remember this moment." She nodded as he possessed her completely and with tears in her eyes she whispered his name and he took her to that climax.

After holding each other for a short time and allowing the gentle breeze cool their hot skin and refresh their senses, he made love to her again and didn't allow their bodies to separate for the longest time.

He then laid his head on her stomach in wonderment. Her fingers again luxuriating in his hair. He looked up into her face and gave her a full smile, "Do you think we accomplished what we set out to do?"

She rose up just enough to kiss the top of his head where her fingers were, "You were very determined John. Time will tell and then the rest you leave it all up to me." He laid his head back on her stomach and kissed her navel whispering huskily with emotion how much he loved her.

Margaret just laid back and smiled contently.

It wasn't until very late afternoon that they started to walked back hand and hand back to the cottage. They both discussed that on the fourth weekend of each month, when weather permitted, that they would picnic in their spot under the big oak tree, even when they were overwhelmed with a dozen children and troubles at the both the mills.

Holding out his hand as if closing a business dealing she took it, "Then it is agreed Mrs. Thornton."

"Agreed Mr. Thornton."

He didn't let her hand go but instead pulled her to him and then followed their hand shake with an impassioned kiss of promise at the cottage's door.