Title: To The Highest Bidder Go The Spoils

Prompt by: caitriona_3 (for the Leverageland Halloween gift giving)

Rating: PG-13

Setting: AU Season 3

Word Count: 1616

Nobody was supposed to know where Eliot went when he left the office/apartment. He kept his private life private, or so the hitter thought. He seemed to forget that Parker was a crazy-ass thief with super stealth skills. This was how she knew where he lived, what gym he used, and many other details he had never told her, very much on purpose.

Today was a different kind of day or rather evening. When Eliot left the team, saying he had plans for the night, Parker knew it wasn't the gym or a date or whatever. Nope, she'd seen the invitation he received, or the begging letter as she liked to call it in her head. She knew he was headed to a hotel out of town for an auction. Not the kind of auction she would normally enjoy playing along with, or better yet stealing from. There were no works of art or beautiful jewels to bid on or thieve, only men.

Parker didn't know people paid for dates. She knew they paid for sex, though she never really understood why a person would need to, but the date thing, she had never heard of before. According the flyer she had later found, Boston's most eligible bachelors were going to be auctioned off for a night to the highest bidders, all in the name of charity. One such bachelor was named Roy Chappell.

Apparently there were a lot of women willing to pay a whole bunch of money to go on a date with Eliot's baseball-player alter-ego. It intrigued Parker to no end, at least she told herself it was curiosity that led her to the hotel in question, all fancy and sexy in a little black dress that Sophie had bought her long ago for some job or other.

Staying at the back, Parker scanned the crowd. Most of the women were middle-aged and wearing wedding bands, and yet they were giggling, squealing, and cooing like crazy single teens. The little thief winced as two larger women rushed past her, filling her nose with two much perfume and her ears with raucous cackling.

A moment later her attention was taken by the woman who was supposedly in charge as she called for everyone's attention and started the bidding on Bachelor No.1, a local fire-fighter. Parker very deliberately hid herself from view, just in case he was there that time for the incident that so did not need mentioning again!

Bachelors 2 through 9 were as boring as each other to Parker. None of them were especially attractive or looked like they had much she'd want to steal. She was just waiting and watching, biding her time whilst wealthy housewives who ought to know better practically fell over themselves to bid on the guys that showed up on the stage. Then came the moment that Parker and all the rest were truly waiting for.

Ladies and... well, ladies," the emcee chuckled, "Our star attraction, baseball star, Roy Chappell" she announced, as a round of applause started up, punctuated with squeal and whoops that made Parker want to gag.

Of course, the little thief forgot all about the need to throw up when she laid eyes on Eliot. The man was always hot, she knew that, because despite all the normal that she was lacking, she was in no way blind. Still, put the guy in a suit, something he never enjoyed, and suddenly he was a whole new level of gorgeous, enough to almost knock the breath out of Parker.

By the time she got her bearings back, the bidding had started, up past a couple of hundred dollars before she ever took notice. A red-head in the back corner seemed determined and had the numbers past a thousand dollars in no time. Eliot was loving it, the look on his face was so obvious. Most guys wouldn't object to women fighting over them, but this was something else.

One thousand one hundred. One thousand two hundred," the numbers rose fast between two or three women, but every other bid was the red-head in the corner with a smile like a wild cat and claws to match - Parker hated her on sight.

"We're at one thousand seven hundred dollars, ladies," the woman on stage announced, as those around her recalculated what they could afford and tried to push for more.

"Two thousand," said a lady in the centre, and Parker's eyes, along with everyone else's gaze, shifted to the woman in the corner.

She opened her mouth to speak and yet the only words came from another source.

Ten thousand dollars."

The second it was said, Parker clamped both hands over her mouth, hardly able to believe what she had just done. All eyes were upon her as the gavel went down and she was declared the winner. Everybody stared, some applauded, others sneered. Parker only saw Eliot's surprised but intense gaze as she was encouraged up towards the stage.

Your name please, ma'am?" asked the auctioneer politely.

"P... Penelope," Parker stumbled, about to give her actual name until a shift in Eliot's features reminded her it was a bad plan, "Lady Penelope... Spencer?" she said all in a panic.

Eliot tried not to wince too obviously as the name was taken and a promise made about paying the money she now owed. Several women were congratulating Parker, some more genuinely than others, as the date she had won the bid on stepped down off the stage and took a hold of her arm.

What the hell are you even doing here Parker?" he asked, an angry whisper near her ear as they reached the back of the room.

She didn't answer properly, just slipped free of his grasp and bolted out the door, declaring she needed air. Eliot gave chase, only mildly surprised to realise she was headed up the stairs rather than down. Of course, any normal person would head for the front door to find fresh air. Parker had never been exactly normal and instead wanted the freedom of the roof. When Eliot caught up to her she was stood by the edge, looking out across the city lights, shivering in the cold night air and her little black dress. With a sigh, he pulled off his dinner jacket and approached her.

Seriously, Parker," he said, putting the jacket around her shoulders without explanation, "What the hell was that?" he asked, trying to see her face but she just kept turning away.

"I don't know," she admitted, eyes fixed on the skyline as she hugged his jacket around her shoulders. "I mean, I knew you'd be here and then those women started bidding on you and... and I didn't want them to have you," she admitted, feeling strange about it as she looked at him at last.

"Why?" came Eliot's obvious question, but just as soon as it was asked she shied away again.

"Because," was all Parker could find to say, but the hitter wasn't going to stand for it.

"That's not an answer, Parker," he told her, putting his hands to her elbows and pulling her gently around to face him again.

She looked so troubled, so confused, like she genuinely wasn't even sure herself if she understood what had happened tonight. She didn't flounder much. Parker didn't always know how to deal with people, social situations, that kind of thing, but she didn't lose control much. Even rappelling from the top of fifty storey building, she was always so grounded, in the weirdest way. Now she looked way out of her depth, just from a single question of 'Why?'.

Because... you're mine, okay?" she said at last, trying to make herself meet his eyes, "Because they don't know you and they don't deserve you. They only wanna date you because they think you're hot, which obviously you are, but they don't know all the other stuff, like how sweet you can be, and how you take care of us, and that you're good at cooking and singing, and that when you really smile your eyes sparkle like diamonds and..."

Parker's rambling tirade of compliments was abruptly cut off by Eliot's lips covering hers. It was a surprise, obviously, and yet Parker didn't react in her usual way - no stabbing or pushing off the building. For a few seconds, she melted into a moment she didn't entirely want to get out of, until suddenly it was over.

And apparently you're a really good kisser too," she said, just a little breathless, and entirely grateful to feel Eliot's hands at her waist holding her steady.

"I had no idea you were writing me a dating resume in your head, darlin'," he smirked as looked down into her eyes.

"Neither did I," Parker giggled girlishly, feeling equal parts foolish and giddy.

"So, where'd you wanna go on this date?" Eliot asked her then, resting his forehead against her own. "I mean, you paid enough for me, and we both know how you don't like to part with cash"

"I don't know," she sighed, "I mean, right here is pretty good" she told him with a smile. "You were gonna kiss me again, right?" she checked then, smile fading a little as she worried she got it all wrong.

"Yeah, Parker," he smiled at how cute she was right now, "I actually was gonna do that" he assured her as he leaned in and kissed her a second time, as promised.

Sure, it wasn't quite how either of them expected the evening to end, but honestly, they couldn't think of a better way for it all to turn out.