A little sadness and a little fluff is how I like them... and some Akashi love too because I am actually a fan of his.

They met the next day after Aomine arrived and to be honest Aomine was very nervous about it at the beginning. Upon catching the sight of Kise in front of the pub they frequented before, the first thing Aomine realised was that Akashi was right: Kise had lost some weight. Not just in the last few months but apparently since he had left in late June too. How come had he not noticed it but Akashi had? It frustrated him a little.

Unlike Aomine's nervous frustrations, Kise was ecstatic and the first thing he did upon realising Aomine's figure was a full-frontal attack: a huge hug accompanied with "Oh My God Aominecchi! Did you gain weight?! Did you grow your hair out?! It looks so cute!"

"Argh Kise stop hugging me, people are looking... come on let's get in." Aomine grumbled as he pulled Kise in.

Kise's spirits were high and perhaps due to this, or perhaps due to the glass of wine he had gulped down rather fast, Aomine soon felt at ease as he listened to Kise talk... Listening to Kise could sometimes be very irritating or just dull but often, Aomine admitted, it was very entertaining. His face would don a hundred different expressions, each exaggerated, his hand would keep moving in strange gestures, and he changed his posture as he jumped from one topic to another, and he was mercurial: you could never expect what could come up to his mind next and he could blurt something that you thought would never be a topic of interest. Though after years Aomine had grown used to his antics and could anticipate his moves outside the court pretty well, as well, he was still caught unguarded at strange things Kise would talk about or just how Kise changed the topics of conversation so fast and he liked being surprised like this; Kise was always changing and it was like flying above as the scenery below continuously changed.

"Oi, Aominecchi are you listening to me?"

"Huh? Ah sorry... I was just..." he had fallen deep in thoughts listening to Kise's voice, observing his gestures that he had stopped actually responding to him.

"How mean, and here I am talking about the amazing news of these cutest little newborn pandas. Little chubby fluffy balls of pure cuteness and magic."

Aomine chuckled as Kise pouted but talking about "chubby fluffy balls" reminded him,

"You really lost weight huh?"

"Huh? Where did they come from?"

"Says the guy who literally jumped from talking about Italian politics to newborn pandas in the local zoo... when you called them 'chubby' I just remembered but like it is obvious, you lost weight."

"Just a bit. Nothing serious really..."

"Hmm... 'kay. I still find it very freaky Akashi realised it though."

"Ah but he has always been observant. And a little protective. Though I see what you mean, it was unexpected too, so it might have sounded a bit creepy."

"Protective? Well I don't know, maybe on court. But outside? Nah..."

"I think he likes us in his own way and regards us as friends and he is used to be 'the leader', 'the protector'... so he is protective. He has always acted a little like a father."

"Now that is a very disturbing thought and are you sure he regards us as friends? I mean... acquaintances definitely. Team mates, sure. Mates? Perhaps. But 'friendship'?"

"You know I've come to believe that basketball is his own little world in a life where everything else is decided for him; everyone regards him as some powerful heir but on court... we regarded and respected him not because he was a powerful heir but because he was our team mate. He led us. And I think that means a lot to him. Surely, he shows his affection differently, but isn't that true for all of us? The way I show my affection is much different than yours, Midorimacchi's is even more different..."

"I understand what you mean and you may have a point but I guess I never really thought of him as a friend... we were never close either. He was closer with Midorima and Murasakibara. I didn't know he was so attentive towards you."

"I... I've been good with him. Oh wait, are you perhaps jealous?"

"Don't be an idiot" Aomine grumbled and Kise giggled,

"Just kidding... but I know for a fact that he is really protective and he is a good friend. He just shows it and deals with it differently."

Aomine did not say anything as he thought that the Akashi Kise pictured, though completely plausible, still seemed rather improbable to him, he was about to say that when Kise started talking again with a tone that seemed a bit bitter and a whole lot different than before,

"You know... when I was in second year of university, I was especially bothered because of my sexuality. Then one day when we were out drinking with a couple of friends from our year and the next one, this third year who I had seen around the campus sat close to me and, out of blue, whispered to my ear: 'do you rather like men?' I was so shocked, I couldn't know what to say or do, my whole face was in flames, then he leaned towards me again and said 'I swing that way too'. He smiled."

Kise gulped half of his glass down and continued,

"I thought... wow. Here was a real gay man. He was not out either but unlike me he would go to nichoume and stuff, hang out in gay bars you know. I never could as I was afraid that somebody would know my face from my modelling work. We started becoming friends, he would tell me stories of love affairs he had, he would tell me of different bars he visited, different people he had met... It was so alluring. Something I had only imagined before. Here was a person who understood and felt like me. With whom I could openly discuss things... private things. It was nice. Then as I grew closer to him, I felt I liked him, so when after a few months he asked me out I was ecstatic."

Kise gulped rest of his glass and asked for a refill quickly,

"It was perfect. I finally had a lover. It was like a dream come true for a person who had to deal with sexual frustrations and unwanted attention from women all his life. I had listened to others' love lives for so long, it was refreshing to have one of my own. It was nice. But I was inexperienced; I had never been in a relationship... I took him as my mentor. I did not question him when he told me that I was just showing too much skinship with my male friends at campus. I immediately stopped. Then he thought it was risky and strange that I went out with my male friends, at nights and stuff or alone, now that I was his lover, so I stopped that too. Then he said, I was spending too much time with my girl friends, going to shopping or to cinema. I stopped that too though I was confused, I tried to explain to him that it was just girl friends... He said I did not understand him. That I was just too good looking, that I was ignorant of ways in which I could be abused, used. He soon regarded anybody other than himself as people who were waiting in line to attack me. It was confusing. It felt absurd but I just followed it because I really liked him and I thought that perhaps this was what love required. I blamed myself that maybe I didn't love him as much since I didn't have similar sensitivities. Soon he didn't want me to play one-on-one's with Kagamicchi or Kurokocchi either, I argued but... I ended up agreeing anyway when he threatened to leave me."

Kise paused for a few seconds and gazed to his refilled glass,

"I liked him. I did not want him to leave me... My knee was bad anyways. He said it was childish that I was still so much into basketball. That I should focus on other things. Focus on university. He said my modelling work was stupid, it would be short-lived; I would grow old and ugly and it would fly away. He said I needed to do real work. He started calling me every hour to check up on me, where am I, who am I with... I grew constipated but I endured it. It became such that I would not leave my house for anything but university or work appointments... soon we started arguing about everything, especially my modelling work. Then one day, I had to go for a photoshoot for a line of jeans of a big name brand, it was an important job, and we would be wearing jeans and nothing else... learning this he just lost it. He forbade me to go and I said, 'screw this'. I had to go, it was big for my career. He said I had no career. He said that I was a whore to do a job like that, and that I was being unfaithful to him, and that I was a stupid man with just a pretty face and body... We fought. At one point, I moved towards the door, ready to leave, and he pulled me back, and he slapped me so hard I lost my balance, I fell... Then I felt his hands around my neck. I will never forget that day nor those moments, and especially, especially that feeling of his hands around my neck, tightening strongly... it was terrible. I had not expected it in the least, he had never been violent. He strangled me. You know, I was taller and stronger than him... people talk so easily about these kind of things, they say that you just have to attack the other person, as if it is the victim who is to blame for the assault. But... but Aominecchi, they are so full of shit, you never know how it is, you cannot imagine what it is like..."

Kise's voice was strained though crisp, he did not hesitate, or cry, or sob, he continued with same clarify after a pause,

"Realising that you may die. That you are dying. That somebody is killing you. It is not something one can anticipate. Plan for. I froze. I couldn't move a single finger. As cliché as it may sound I saw my life flash in front of my eyes... I am not sure if I fought against him, perhaps I did, soon my mind went numb and hazy due to lack of air, I lost consciousness, and I thought 'this is it'. But when I opened my eyes, I was not in heaven or hell, I was still in my room. Alone. He had left. I found a note on the door, it said: "Do not go out. Do not tell about this to anyone. Or else, I will show the whole world what kind of a homo manwhore you are."

I slept for hours, I was not sure what to do, I was scared, coming face to face with death does that to a person, my mind was still hazy, I was not sure what to do... when I dared to look at a mirror, I felt worse; there was a huge red mark on my face, clearly of a hand. My neck... my neck was bruised terribly, one looking closely could see marks of fingers. I spent the whole day sleeping, he did not come. Maybe I should have just fled but I... I was scared. What if he told others? What if he tried to kill me again? I hate the idea of violence, what was it going to take to stop this, this whole thing, this whole fear, would... would I need to kill him? This scared me more; I could not kill him. I could not even kill an insect, forget kill a human... I... I am not like that."

He finally took his glass but instead of quickly gulping like before he took a few small sips,

"Apparently my manager had panicked after my absence. He called my mom. Nobody could reach me and I could not find my phone, he had probably taken it. My mother called Momocchi, since she knew her and liked her and Momocchi lived not so far away from me, unlike my parents who were in Osaka at that time. So Momocchi called Kurokocchi and Akashicchi too, all unknown to me, and by noon the second day of my horrid state, they knock on my door. I first thought it was him and I was so scared, then Kurokocchi told that it was them, I did not want to open the door but they begged... I wore a turtleneck, thinking that I could avoid exposing the horror to them but how stupid I was, my face still had the red mark of his slap... They didn't say much, Kurokocchi took my hand talked with me while Momocchi and Akashicchi stayed outside. He said that he knew I was gay, Akashicchi too, since middle school. It was not Momocchi who told them, they had realised it but preferred to keep hush till I decided to tell them. He said he had realised my relationship with my senpai right away but kept silent too, respected my privacy. But he said... he said that this was not 'love'. This was not a 'relationship' of 'love'. This was abuse. That nobody would hurt their beloved. And I knew. I knew it very well at that point. He asked if he could roll down the neck of my sweater, I nodded, when he saw my neck... he cried."

Kise paused and chuckled bitterly, sadly,

"I... I had never seen Kurokocchi cry for anything but basketball like that I think... I had never seen him cry like that for me. And I, Kise Ryouta who is famous for crying and laughing so easily, I froze, I could not shed a single tear. So instead of me, Kurokocchi just hugged me and cried. I think he had thought that I was being locked inside house or something but never actually expected to see marks of strangulation. I could see that he was terrified. He asked me to let him help me and I just nodded. When we went out, he told Momocchi to pack a bag for me but I refused, I didn't want anything that could have that man's smell or touch on it... I only took my wallet. Akashicchi drove us to his house, he gave me a new mobile phone, I talked with my mother... the first night, Momocchi and Kurokocchi stayed with us too. We did not talk about the event, instead Akashicchi treated the whole matter like a friendly get-together at his house. I could feel that Momocchi, who stayed more or less silent throughout the whole ordeal was the one who was shaken the most, but she still tried her best to smile, act normal. The next day others left but I continued staying there, a few days later Akashicchi told me that he would like me to stay more but that I should know that 'the problem' was resolved. I panicked a little, he laughed and patted my shoulder, he said 'don't worry, we did not hurt him physically, he is fine, I know you don't like violence'. I stayed there for three more weeks... Akashicchi is so silent, meticulous, and serious. Yet subtly thoughtful and helpful. He was so busy but he would take me to play basketball with him every two days or so. Others came to visit so frequently. I later rented a room in the building Kagamicchi and Kurokocchi were sharing a room in, I thanked Akashicchi wholeheartedly before I left... He looked at me with these shocked eyes, his face completely surprised, he laughed and he said, 'Ryouta, you are my friend. You don't have to thank me...'"

Kise gulped down almost all of his glass in one shot, sighed deeply, donned a smile – the smile Aomine knew very well, the one he would don when he really did not want to smile but did not want to frown either and thus would just smile anyway – and asked,

"So you see... Akashicchi is a good friend! And I never even saw senpai again at campus, they said he moved to another city and dropped out of the university. I never looked more into it though, I was happy it was over."

Aomine was shaken, he could not say anything... realising this Kise continued,

"Oh, I guess now you also know why I get irritated easily with possessive people or why I preferred casually dating people than having a relationship... What disturbs me is not the possessiveness or jealousy one feels towards another person they love, but the selfish, abusive, offensive way of acting out that possessiveness or jealousy. That I cannot stand. That... I think is not love. It is not wanting to love and be with another person, it is the desire to own them. It is egoistic and sadistic. "

Aomine played with his own glass, he felt so much like drinking more but he had been keeping up with his "no-more-than-two-glasses" new year's resolution well till up to now and did not want to ruin it. Though, thinking it over, he said "fuck it" inside, and asked for another glass – this time something stronger.

"I cannot believe this..."

"I know... such a sad little story right? One would not expect from-"

"Don't say that! I cannot believe that... You went there something like that. You... and... and here I am criticising Akashi on how 'friendly' he is and he actually helps you in your hardest moment and where was I then? Probably screwing some girl at a bar in LA. I suck as a friend. I... I don't know what to say other than that... I..."

"You don't have to say anything. And why the hell are you blaming yourself? You did not know because I did not tell you. Plus, you had your own worries, you were not even in Japan, you had just taken a huge leap forward in your career. I am glad it was the year Momocchi had returned though... She and others helped me a lot."

"I would expect Satsuki and Tetsuya but knowing that I fare less than Akashi... it just frustrates me. And I am frustrated that I am saying this shit, you just told me... that and I am worrying about myself shit, I suck."

Kise giggled though it sounded much more tired than cheerful and patted Aomine's shoulder,

"You are not worrying about yourself but about how you think you failed me – and that's only your stupid thinking, you did not fail me. Never. And yeah, don't underestimate Akashi. He is pretty cool."

"Are you kidding me? I am going to take him out to dinner next time we meet. He is the greatest."

Kise chuckled and leaned his body slightly towards Aomine, rested his head on Aomine's shoulder,

"You are funny... I like your protectiveness though. I know you would help if you were in town and knew about it. Well... you would probably just go and beat the guy up very, very bad though, so perhaps it was for the better you were not around."

"Don't say that..."

"Sorry."

They stayed silent for a few seconds as Aomine slowly drank the new drink that was placed before him and Kise seemed to be gazing somewhere far away, then he spoke, almost mumbled,

"John dumped me."

"What?!" Aomine coughed up harshly as he choke on his drink a little,

"Oh My God... Aominecchi are you okay?" Kise was worried and patted Aomine's back,

"Hey! Can we get some water?"

Aomine felt a bit better after drinking from the water placed in front of him and finally could breath easily, and the first thing he did as he breathed easier, was to loudly exclaim,

"Who the heck he thinks he is?! How can he dump you?! He cannot dump you! You dump him!"

"Huh? What... what do you mean?"

"He is an old, loser of a man. He even has a child and you are so young! He cannot even play basketball well! Yet you still chose him because you are just too damn kind. And what, he just goes and leaves you? He cannot do that! That idiot! What does he think, that he could find someone better than you? Fuck that, I hope he dies alone in a corner."

"God... Aominecchi... calm down. Wow. And don't say such cruel things... and just... wow. You... you... you are awesome!"

Kise started laughing so uncontrollably that he had to hold on to Aomine's shoulder not to fall from the bar stool he was sitting on, Aomine on the other hand was puzzled,

"What do you mean? Oi! Why are you laughing?"

"Because... because... ahaha, God I can't believe this..."

"Oi! Stop laughing you... aren't you supposed to be sad or something? I thought you liked the guy!"

"Well, I did like him but he actually dumped me like weeks ago, so I already spent many days depressed about it... don't worry." Kise couldn't hold his laughter and continued laughing,

"You are such an idiot... why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know... I was not sure how you would react. I thought that you would maybe make a nasty comment about how I should have chosen you or perhaps that you would hit on me or something, since now I am single... And yet... you... you actually got super mad on my accord and I just lost it I guess. I can't believe you care about me this much... You are just too sweet."

Aomine sighed and gulped rest of his drink down,

"I am not sweet, don't call me sweet. Of course... I... I will care. And of course I got mad, because I... I care. And the fact that you are single does not mean you will automatically go out with me. You already made it clear that you want to be friends with me, not lovers, and I am not going to pester you or stalk you. I am not a pushy jerk. A 'no' is a 'no', I get it."

Kise stopped laughing and instead put his elbow on the bar counter, turned his whole body and face towards Aomine and silently watched Aomine's face, his hands, which were now playing with the empty glass...

"Stop staring at me like that. I did not say anything weird."

"No, definitely not weird, you just said something very cute."

"It was not cute."

"Oh it was. You are so sweet."

"I am not sweet!" Aomine declared rather loudly and quickly crossed his arms on the bar counter and smothered his face over it, hiding the pretty shade of red that adorned all his face now and imagined that Kise was just not still staring at him – though he knew very well that Kise was indeed still staring at him.

Kise did not say anything else to Aomine, continued smiling and savouring the new drink in front of him, while he watched Aomine's red ears. And he thought,

"But you are so sweet..."